Lyr Req: Just Kidding (Wootton, Wedlock)

Subject: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread
From: Tom May
Date: 04 Jun 99 - 09:06 AM

From a different thread, there appear to be a number of ECWS members in this group. Many years ago, I was in "Blackwell's" and there was a song going around which has partly surfaced again in this murky swamp I call a mind and is nagging me, the problem is that I can't remember the words. I've always known it as "Kids" (or "Only Kids") (I couldn't find it on the search engine) As I recall the opening verse went something along the lines of

"Grand-dad's in the bathroom and the air is turning blue, The kids have bunged the lock up with a tube of super-glue And he didn't spot the cling-film they'd stretched across the loo Just remember, they're only kids".

Thanks in advance for any help.

Tom

Subject: 'Only Kids'?
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 09:01 AM

A question I've asked before with no response.

Does anyone out there know a song called either "Kids" or "Only Kids"? I remember this from pub sessions with the ECWS (Blackwell's) many years ago, but the only verse that can be dragged out of this swiss cheese of a memory of mine is -

"Mummy we've been helping,
"Mummy, Why have you gone pale?
"Mum look in your hanbag
"We've been catching snails.
"And we've nearly fixed the telly,
"But we've just run out of nails"
Just remember, they're only kids

Thanks

Walrus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 09:08 AM

Blackwell's, eh?

Maybe I SHOULD remember them, but sorry, I dont (I did a couple of Campaign Seasons with Weldons...)

Dunno the song though...sorry!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: GUEST,Pete MacGregor
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 09:22 AM

Fred Wedlock sings it but I don't know if he's recorded it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: GUEST,Ned Ludd
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 07:28 PM

Yep! fried wetleg allright I think he recorded it Might even have it I'll have a look and return.

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY'RE ONLY KIDS? / JUST KIDDING
From: treaties1
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 08:20 PM

This is how I used to sing it, have fun

THEY'RE ONLY KIDS

There's Lego in the toaster and there's Lego in the loo
Look before you swallow cos there's Lego in the stew
Don't tell the little b**buiders what you'd really like to do
Just remember they're only kids

And isn't it exciting when the words begin to come
You teach them to say Daddy then you teach them Mum
And then you try to shut them up when they discover bum
Just remember they're only kids.

And it's Mummy we've been helping, Mummy why have you gone pale
Look what's in you handbag, we've been collecting snails
And we nearly fixed the Telly but we've just run out of nails
Just remember they're only kids

Granddad's in the bathroom and the air is turning blue
The kids have plugged the keyhole with a tube of super glue
And he didn't see the clingfilm that they'd stretched across the loo
Just remember they're only kids

The magazines they read are on the purple side of blue
They know where babies come from and they know what makes 'em too
And with action man and Cindy they'll show you a thing or two
But just remember they're only kids

And now the years have passed and your little birds have flown
You're off the tranquillisers and it's home sweet home
And then they come to visit you with children of their own
Just remember they're only kids

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: treaties1
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 08:23 PM

oops forgot the final Just remember they'e only kids.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 08:53 AM

Thank you, especially treaties 1, this song has been bugging me, trying to remember the lyrics has been like trying to nail fog to the wall. Now the memories flood back .

Thanks again

Walrus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: GUEST,Ned Ludd
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:36 PM

I had a look, and I found it!(unfortunately on vynl) Its called 'Just kidding' and is on the 'b'side of a song called ' Knocking 40'. It seems to be Fred's own label (Pillock productions) From memory, Treaties1's version is pretty close to Fred's Ned.

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 07:49 PM

The title isn't much help. I can't find a song called ONLY KIDS or THEY'RE ONLY KIDS—and there are LOTS of songs just called KIDS. I don't get any hits on Google using the quoted lines. I'm refreshing this thread in the hope someone will recognize it.

And by the way, once we have identified the song, I think it would be appropriate for some JoeClone to change the title of this thread to include the song title.

By the way, there are several clues this song is not American.

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread: They're Only Kids
From: MBSLynne
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 02:43 AM

"There's lego in the toaster and there's lego in the loo
Be careful what you're eating cos there's lego in the stew
And you'd really like to tell the little builders what to do
But remember, they're only kids.

Isn't it a pleasure when the words begin to come?
You teach them "Dada" and you teach them "Mum",
And then you try and shut 'em up when they discover "bum"
But remember, they're only kids.

Don't they look so cosy, those infant Mafiosi?
But lock 'em in their beds I'm telling you,
Cos when you get romantic there's a voice that drives you frantic
Saying "Hello Mummy, Daddy, can I play horsie too?"

Grandad's in the bathroom and the air is turning blue,
The kids have filled the keyhole with a tube of super glue
And he never saw the cling film that they stretched across the loo
But remember, they're only kids.

The literature they read is on the purple side of blue,
They know where babies come from and they know just what to do,
And with Action Man and Sindy they'll show you a thing or two!
But remember they're only kids.

And then you're little lad says "Now look here Dad,
Can ten year olds get in the family way?"
And you smile and say "Not yet" then your knees turn sort of wet
When you hear him tell the girl next door "I said we'd be ok"

And it's "Mummy can we help you? Mummy, why you looking pale?
Just look inside your handbag cos we've been collecting snails
And we've nnearly fixed the telly, but we just ran out of nails
Mum Remember, we're only kids!"

And now the days have passed and your little chicks have flown,
There's peace and quiet and your home's your own,
And then they come and visit you with children of their own!
But remember they're only kids.

I was given that by Tom Gilmour many years ago, and that's the way I sing it now, though the 'folk process' has probably changed it a bit from the original.

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread: They're Only Kids
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Apr 05 - 11:22 PM

Lynn: What title do you know it by? Do you know who wrote it, or who may have recorded it?

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread: They're Only Kids
From: MBSLynne
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:50 AM

I know it as "They're only kids" but was given it by someone else who sang it, and he didn't tell me where he got it from or any other info

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread: They're Only Kids
From: GUEST,Charley Noble
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:20 AM

Lynne-

Thanks for nailing this one. It's inspirational!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Another 'lyrics wanted' thread: They're Only Kids
From: GUEST,Pete MacGregor
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:45 AM

Try googling Fred Wedlock. It's a regular part of his set - or used to be - but I've no idea if he wrote it.

PM

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: GUEST,Do-si-do
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 12:14 PM

Actually the 'bridge' or middle bit is missing - it goes between 3rd and 4th verses, I think - it goes:

At night they look so cosy, those infant mafiosi,
But lock the bedroom door I'm telling you,
'Cause when you get romantic, there's one sound that drives you frantic,
And it's 'Hello, Mummy, Daddy, can we play horsey too?'

Just for the record ;-))
Best regards to all readers.

Dave

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Only Kids'?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 09:39 PM

I found a copy of the lyrics here and it has this additional verse after the "Granddad" verse:

And then your little lad, all innocent, says, "Dad,
Can ten-year olds get in the family way?"
You smile and say, "Not yet", but your legs turn sort of wet
When you hear him tell the girl next door, "I said we'd be OK."

Also, here's a discography on Fred Wedlock's web site which says JUST KIDDING is on an album called "Live (with Chris Newman)".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They're Only Kids
From: GUEST,JayDee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 09:31 AM

As far as I know, it was called "They're Only Kids" and it was by Fred Wedlock. No idea if these words are original or folk processed, but this is the version I sing. Similar to Lynne's above ... yet also different! Mix and match! I also heard it said he would address this to members of the audience who had kids ... and those who were sweating a bit!

They're Only Kids

There's Lego in the toaster and there's Lego down the loo
And look before you swallow 'cause there's Lego in the stew
Don't tell the little b-uilders what you'd really like to do
Just remember, they're only kids.

And how about the stories that they love to tell your Mum
And who d'you reckon she believes the words come from
When all their little jokes end up with bogies, wee or bum?
Just remember, they're only kids.

At night they look so cosy those infant Mafiosi
But bolt the bedroom door I'm telling you
For when you feel romantic, there's a sound that drives you frantic
And it's "Hello Mum and Daddy, can I play horsey too?"

And it's "Mummy, we've been helping, Mummy, why have you gone pale?
Look what's in your handbag, we've been catching snails
And we've nearly fixed the telly but we just run out of nails
Mum, remember, we're only kids!"

Grandad's in the bathroom and the air is turning blue
The kids have stuffed the keyhole with a tube of super glue
And he didn't spot the cling film they stretched across the loo
Dad, remember, they're only kids!

And on your honeymoon, you couldn't start too soon
Kids they said was heaven's gift to man
But you'd have done a bunk and his nibs would be a monk
If you knew that you'd be bringing up the hordes of Genghis Khan!

You tell 'em how a baby's made, they'll tell you how it's not!
They've read your naughty magazines and understand the plot
And with Action Man and Cindy they can demonstrate the lot
Just remember, they're only kids!

But now the years have passed and all your little birds have flown
You're off the tranquillisers and it's home, sweet home
And then they come and visit you ... with children of their own!
Just remember, they're only kids!


Note that verses 3 and 6 have a different tune from the main verses, but the same as each other. And the comic effect works to stumble over the b in builders (first verse) as if you'd really like to say bleeders (or something even worse!).

Subject: Lyr Add: JUST KIDDING (Wootton, Wedlock)
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:31 AM

This is the words, title and attribution that I have:

JUST KIDDING

There's Lego in the toaster and there's Lego down the loo
And look before you swallow cos there's Lego in the stew.
Don't tell the little builders what you'd really like to do.
Just remember they're only kids.

And isn't it exciting when the words begin to come?
You teach them "dada" and you teach them "mum"
And then you try to shut 'em up when they discover "bum".
Just remember they're only kids.

At night they look so cosy, those infant Mafiosi,
But bolt the bedroom door, I'm telling you,
Cos when you get romantic there's a sound that drives you frantic
And it's "Hello, Mum and Daddy. Can I play horsey too?"

And it's "Mummy, we've been helping. Mummy, why have you gone pale?
Look what's in your handbag. We've been catching snails,
And we've nearly fixed the telly but we've just run out of nails.
Mum, remember we're only kids!"

Granddad's in the bathroom and the air is turning blue.
The kids have filled the keyhole with a tube of Superglue
And he didn't spot the Clingfilm they stretched across the loo.
Just remember they're only kids.

    And then your little lad all innocent says "Dad,
    Can ten-year-olds get in the family way?"
    You smile and say "not yet", then your legs turn sort of wet
    When you hear him tell the girl next door "I said we'd be OK."

The magazines they read are on the purple side of blue.
They know where babies come from and they know what stops them too,
And with Action Man and Cindy they'll show you a trick or two.
Just remember they're only kids.

Now the years have passed and all your little birds have flown.
You're off the tranquilizers and it's home sweet home,
And then they come and visit you with children of their own.
Just remember they're only kids.


By Miles Wootton and Fred Wedlock. As sung by Fred Wedlock on Rocket LP TRAIN 19 "Fred Wedlock Live"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Just Kidding (Fred Wedlock)
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 07:55 PM

And my version has a different bridge verse after the Grandad one, and then a couple of different ones to finish:

And on your honeymoon you couldn't start too soon
Kids they said was heaven's gift to man
But you'd have done a bunk and his nibs would be a monk
If you knew that you'd be bringing up the hordes of Genghis Khan!

You tell 'em how a baby's made ... they'll tell you how it's not!
They've read your naughty magazines and understand the plot
And with Action Man and Cindy they can demonstrate the lot
Just remember, they're only kids.

And now the years have passed and all your little birds have flown
You're off the tranquilizers and it's home sweet home
And then they come and visit you ... with children of their own!
Just remember, they're only kids!

I guess, like the folk process, the song varied over the years. Always gets a laugh though. Vale Fred!

Jenny from Australia