Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??

Subject: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Barb'ry
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 10:02 PM

Does anyone know the words to a song called, I think, Quality of Mercy? It's about a ship travelling the Manchester Ship Canal and has a chorus about the muddy waters and not getting a drink before Wallasey!
Sorry I can't be more specific - except that someone told me it was written by Stan Kelly and occasionally sung by Robin Hall and Jimmy McGregor.
Thanks
Barb'ry

Subject: Lyr Add: THE QUALITY OF MERSEY (from Stan Kelly)
From: Peace
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 10:14 PM

THE QUALITY OF MERSEY
Words: Reconstructed from childhood memories by Stan Kelly
Tune: Trad. arr. Stan Kelly (Dorian Mode on D)

© 1961 Heathside Music

Cockily

When I was young and handsome, lads,
As handsome as could be,
I said goodye [terrar] to me mother-in-law
Away I went to sea.
I went aboard a schooner, boys,
The schooner Mary Anne
And we set sail for Walton Gaol
Up the Manchester Ship Canal.


Well, the captain was a sailor, lads,
He'd never been to sea before.
He knew as much about the sea
As the knob on our wash-house [shit-house] door.
All day he slept on the upper deck,
All night he slept below
And he paid the crew a lousy screw,
We were glad to see him go.

Now the quality of Mersey, boys,
It isn't strained at all
It's full of ships [shit] and seaweed
And it tastes like paraffin oil.
We had to drink it every day
For beer we'd never see,
And I scarcely thing we'll get a drink
Till we get to Wallasey.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 10:15 PM

www.feniks.com/skb/music/lull17.html

Sorry. The above is from this site.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 11:34 PM

The koala tea of Mercy is not strained.

That's the punch line !! Does anyone remember the story??? (I don't---but this thread just reminded me of it.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 04:14 PM

Good Lord, Art. It has got to be a shaggy dog story to top 'em all.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 04:16 PM

There was a man in England who was considered by all to be the world's foremost authority on tea. One day he was chatting with a friend of his thathad just returned from a trip to Australia. This friend told him that he had heard of a tea brewed in a small town in the Outback named Mercy. Theconnoisseur scoffed at him, stating that no tea came out of the Outback, because there was no way to grow it.
"Oh, it doesn't come from leaves," remarked his friend, "they brew it from Koala fur."
This so intrigued the expert that he booked a flight to Australia the next day. After his arrival, he hired a guide to take him deep into the Outback tothe town of Mercy. Once in town, he found the only pub, and ordered a cup of the mysterious beverage.
The cup was placed before him. He spent many moments noting the color, the aroma, and the viscosity. He took a small sip. It was good! He then followedwith a big mouthful, and was suddenly gagging and spitting, clutching at his mouth.
"What is this?" he exclaimed, holding up a handful of what appeared to be short, coarse threads.
"Oh, that's Koala fur," replied the bartender.
"You mean to tell me that you don't strain out the fur?" asked the expert, incredulous.
"Of course not," replied the bartender, "The Koala tea of Mercy is never strained!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 04:19 PM

Two kangaroo shooters are way out the back of Bourke when their ute breaks down. They do the right thing and stay with it but no one comes along. So they decide to walk out with the temperature being 40 degrees Celsius plus.

After 2 days, they're on their last drop of radiator water when they climb a rise and find, nailed to a tree, a sign saying MERCY, POPULATION 12. In the distance there's a collection of ramshackle tin huts. They arrive and identify one hut as a café. They enter.

A lady appears, very proper. "Yis", she says.

"Bring us a drink, luv. Make it long and quick."

"We only serve one thing here."

"What's that?"

"Koala tea."

"Well, bring it luv, only make it quick!"

She brings it, and she is not kidding. Pathetic little paws grip the edge of the billy and little furry ears poke through the murky surface. Well, kangaroo shooters are pretty tough but they're not this tough. They look at each other and beg the woman to "take it away please, and strain it."

"What?" she says, "The Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 04:21 PM

A man with a fatal disease was told by his doctor that there was one cure:
the sick man needed to go to an Austrailian hospital, named the Mercy
Hospital to be cured. There, the doctor said, the man would receive a tea
made from koala bear hairs that would cure him.

The man flies to Australia and locates Mercy Hospital. There, the nurse
gives him the tea. The man sees actual koala hairs in it and asks the nurse
to please strain it. The nurse replies: "The Koala Tea of Mercy is never
strained."




Art: I googled "koala tea of mercy', joke



You are off my Christmas list for exposing me to this pun, not once, but thrice. Bruce.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Quality of Mercy??
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 07:37 PM

"The Quality of Mersey"

Does anyone know if it has been recorded? By whom?