BS: You are getting old when:

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bubblyrat
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:20 AM

When,at last,you gasp "I'm cumming " and you realise that she's died.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:30 AM

When you open this thread twice, forgetting that you've already looked at it!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 08:56 AM

Garry and I were doing some city fishin at the pier during the salmon run. Sometimes we go down there when we don't have a lot of time. It is easier than staying home with our wives looking for imaginary dust bunnies living under the couch or something like that. Well next to us was an old couple. The lady was old ... I mean waiting for the boys to come back from France old. Cute couple. She had tossed her line out in the middle of the channel with a big bobber on it bait fishing.   

A bit later I see my buddie Jim crusin by in his 52 ft crew boat. A minute later the ladies line starts screaming (she had hooked the boat) She grabs her pole and the line is screaming off her reel. She starts playing it and playing it and playing it... next .. bam .. the line breaks off.

She turns to us and says ... that was some big fish ... he had to be huge!   Garry without missing a beat says that fish was exactly 52ft long!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:45 PM

As a musician, you know you're getting older when you'd rather have more roadies than more groupies...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:51 PM

...when no one cares a whit that you are on performance enhancing drugs.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:28 PM

..or that the performance enhancing drugs include viagra for the lead singer!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:30 PM

When Ya take viagra at night so ya don't roll off the bed

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:43 PM

You know you are of a certain generation when someone says 'Complete the phrase 'Marks and...' and you answer 'Engels'.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:49 PM

>>>>>>>>>>..when no one cares a whit that you are on performance enhancing drugs.<<<<<

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:43 PM

When you know you've heard all these jokes about getting old before, but it doesn't matter because they're truer now than the first time you heard them.

See BS: You Know You're Getting Old When.... from January, 2005.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:03 PM

You know you are getting old when two distinct things happen to you:-
1) You start to forget things.....
2).......ermmmmmm...........well............................b****r

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:32 PM

>
> A row of bottles on my shelf
> Caused me to analyze myself.
> One yellow pill I have to pop
> Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
> A little white one that I take
> Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
> The blue ones that I use a lot
> Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
> The purple pill goes to my brain
> And tells me that I have no pain.
> The capsules tell me not to wheeze
> Or cough or choke or even sneeze..
> The red ones, smallest of them all
> Go to my blood so I won't fall.
> The orange ones, very big and bright
> Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
> Such an array of brilliant pills
> Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
> But what I'd really like to know............
> Is what tells each one where to go!

>:D< Aspire to inspire before you expire!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:39 PM

MY GET UP AND GO

How that I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went;
In spite of it all I'm able to grin
When I think of where my get up and go has bin.
Old age is golden, so I've heard said:
Sometimes I wonder when I get into bed:
My ears in the bed and my teeth in the cup,
My eyes on the table till I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
Is there anything else that's to be laid on the shelf?
I'm happy to see as I close the door
That my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
When I was young I could slip out of bed,
Kick my heels right over my head;
Then I got older like most of us do
But I could still double-shuffle the whole night through.

Now I'm old and I'm all out o' whack,
Walk to the corner and I puff my way back.
The reason I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went.
I really don't mind when I think with a grin
Of all the places that my get up and go has bin.
Since I retired from life's competition,
Busied myself with complete repetition;
Get up in the mornin' an' dust off my wits,
I pick up the paper and I read the obits;
My name's a-missin' but I know I ain't dead,
I just eat a good breakfast an' I go back to bed.

Off a single that my German pen-pal owned way back in the 1960s.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bobad
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:42 PM

You look forward to someone groping your junk?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

You step out of the shower and you are glad the mirrors are steamed up.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:52 PM

You step out of the shower and you worry that the mirrors are steamed up in case anything got washed away.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:54 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 08:47 PM

You know you are getting old when, you start a thread titled "you are getting old when", or post to one.:)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:05 AM

When you spend more money on missed appointment charges than on the appointments you make.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:53 AM

You are getting old when.....la de la deda deda... urumph de dum de dum de dee

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:41 AM

When you stop to look at the landscape and trees and things you would have considered so uncool in your youth.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:49 AM

No, I wouldn't, Patsy ~~ my mother was a lover of landscape & brought us up to it; & it was a passion shared by my first wife also. But I take your general point nevertheless.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,PeterC
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:24 AM

For me it was the local paper publishing photos of a vintage bus rally and thinking "I travelled to school on one of those".

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bobad
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:42 AM

The era in which you came of age is now being studied as an historical artifact (a friend's daughter is doing her phd thesis on the 60's)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:54 AM

When the first question you ask when being offered a gig is "Are there any stairs?"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:57 AM

When you find your vaccuum cleaner displayed in the Science museum!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:11 AM

PeterC, you had a bus?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MikeL2
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:59 AM

hi

When travel insurance costs you more than the holiday you are buying....

When your grandson has to come and fit a washer on to the tap ( faucet)....happens to me !!!

When you get a fee TV Licence....

When you can't park a Yaris in a spot you used to get a van in...

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 09:39 AM

When you realise that you know most of the lyrics of songs from before the second World War and quite a few from the first!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,PeterC
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 09:54 AM

PeterC, you had a bus?
They used to run after 5pm in those days too.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 11:47 AM

We had to use "Shank's Mare"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 12:15 PM

... you can remeber you mom using one of these http://www.gtj.org.uk/en/small/item/GTJ31072/

And one of these http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/vintage-acme-mangle-wringer-/250722640903 You certainly didn't want to get your digits going through that :-)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 12:17 PM

We were posher Kendall, we used "Shank's Pony"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:30 PM

When you mention Kent State and your co-workers look at you blankly.


When being carded results in a happy dance.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:15 PM

.... when you can remember what a slide rule was/is ...

When I was a kid I read an article about the local airplane company that had built one with an 18 ft long scale, and had actually pulled it out of mothballs for some sort of special project.

I thought it sounded pretty neat, once I figured out how they worked, so I decided to get myself one of them thar sticks.

They were so hard to find in my town then that I made my own - and used it for 4 or 5 years before I got to the "big city" and could buy a "real one." (They were mandatory for the Chemistry finals.)

About 15 years later the other airplane factory where I was working needed to modify the "weight and balance computer" for one of their airplanes, and the standard model was ... ... ... a "slide rule" with specialized scales on it.

It took about three months to find a manufacturer that would admit that they still had the machinery to make one. The half-dozen that we bought cost around $6,000 each; and when they got them done we had to sign a waiver promising that we would NEVER ORDER ANOTHER ONE before they agreed to ship them to us.

John

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:34 PM

...when you realize that wisdom does come with age, but that few of the youth are willing to listen.

Happens regularly now... ☺

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:47 PM

...when, as JUST happened to me, you read a post of yours from months...or years... earlier, like it a lot, but have no memory of making it.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:42 PM

The Floor is Too Far Down !

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

Bill D... "when you realize that wisdom does come with age"

That's it then. The ultimate answer. The moment that you realize you can't get any smarter and it's all downhill because you "should have known better" but you didn't listen to your elders and your youngers are paying you little heed such as you did for your elders.

This should be enshrined as the Bill D Principle.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 04:00 AM

Arthur, my grandmother had a mangle wringer which she used right into the 70s. So I can say I remember using it for dolls clothes and small items like cotton hankies etc. It was good because it pressed out some of the creases. Why ever did they do away with those?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Alan Day
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 04:08 AM

When you get annoyed, like the guy did yesterday in the Supermarket, when he found that the plastic baskets had got mixed up with the wire ones and he had to sort them all out.
That's bloody old
Al

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 04:03 AM

>When you get annoyed, like the guy did yesterday in the Supermarket, when he found that the plastic baskets had got mixed up with the wire ones and he had to sort them all out.
That's bloody old
Al <

With women they call that PMT!!!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM

I'll see your slide rule and raise you a comptometer. Remember those?

I could go on and on.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MikeL2
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 03:28 PM

hi charmion

A comptometer eh ??

Yea I remember them well....my first wife was a comptometer operator who calculated the firm's wages !!

How about Hollerith ??? I remember that too......sheeeeeeeee I am am really old !!!

Used to use Hollerith punchings as confetti - the corners could get pretty shart in some tender places...lol

Regards

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 03:55 PM

I will raise you a 401 accounting machine ... my first programming assignment

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 04:58 PM

A 35-mm camera with no onboard electronics! There you were, with your little light meter, madly calculating F-stops and shutter speeds while the action passed you by ...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:03 PM

Has anyone noticed that the older you get

the weirder your friends are?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:21 PM

"...raise you a comptometer."

45 years ago, I worked at a business school that still taught comptometer.....and keypunch... and a big calculator machine that did accounting and printed data-- all mechanically with hundreds of moving parts. I actually had to learn some basics of some of them.... arrrgghhh!

It isn't necessary -yet- to be 'old' to remember when a large grocery store (like I worked at for years) was NOISY as all the mechanical cash registers were running. But it was amazing to watch the repairman disassemble one of those things!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:33 PM

You are getting old when, you talk about your medical conditions to total strangers.

You are not getting old when, you die.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:34 PM

You are not getting older when, you die.

100