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BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world?
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 11 Nov 01 - 07:46 PM Thanks, C.S. I didn't know about that. I'll have to give it a try. See you Sunday? |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Gypsy Date: 11 Nov 01 - 07:54 PM CarolC, thanks for the bright ideas. Will follow up. I know what you mean about hidden nutrients. I cook from the scratchiest scratch, tho, and rarely eat meat, and cut almost all dairy out years ago. So, will let you know how it goes. thanks again for the information, really appreciate your time in it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Joe Offer Date: 11 Nov 01 - 09:57 PM I saw Shawn Colvin in concert a couple of years ago in Portland (Oregon), opening for Lyle Lovett. Colvin flubbed a couple of songs and generally gave a sloppy performance, and she was nasty to the audience and the band. She said it was because she had PMS. I'm sorry she felt bad, but I don't see PMS as a legitimate excuse for being nasty and putting on a bad performance. I also think it's bad taste to announce to an audience that one has PMS. I saw Bob Dylan give a similar performance. He didn't give any excuses, so I concluded that he was just being an asshole. What should I think of Colvin? -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CapriUni Date: 11 Nov 01 - 11:03 PM Joe Offer -- My rule of thumb is never give excuses, whether your poor performance is due to the flu or PMS, or a migrane, or a hangover, or whatever. If you're feeling too "off" to do a job up to your usual standards, you should just get through it as best and as well as you can, and keep quiet about it. Giving an excuse only calls attention to your mistakes anyway, and primes an audience to nitpick you rather than root for you... And it makes it harder for other women to be taken seriously -- the "Oh, don't mind her, she just has PMS" syndrome. Personally, over the years, I've noticed the following about my own symptoms of PMS: On the physical side, I get migraines, and my asthma acts up so that I sometimes have to use my inhaler several times a day, when the rest of the month I hardly have to use it at all. On the emotional side, I find that I'm set on a hair trigger over issues of fairness -- either for others (such as hearing about civil rights cases in the news), or for myself, (especially if I feel that I'm not being heard and respected somehow). Generally, the issues that "set me off" for those three days a month are the same ones I care about all the time... It's just that my sensitivity goes way up, and my dampers go down -- it would probably be a good time for me to try writing political protest songs (at least the rough drafts). How's that for drifting this thread toward an on-topic discussion? Also, emotionally, I find I get very, very sentimental: puppy food commercials and phone commercials get me laughing and crying at the same time -- most odd. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: GUEST Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:53 AM hey there all you mudcat girls...I just want to say you're all right and I'm sorry... |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Terry K Date: 12 Nov 01 - 02:30 AM kendall, that wedding cake thing is a gem! |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 12 Nov 01 - 05:41 AM It's pretty amusing, Terry K. On the other hand, if you want to kill a woman's libido, you could leave out the wedding cake and just tell her that joke. It ought to do the job right quick. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Kim C Date: 12 Nov 01 - 09:51 AM Mine seems to get worse as I get older - I'm 34. Anyway, knowing this, I just warn people. When I start to get Those Special Feelings I just say, look, y'all, I'm not in a mood today, please do not take it personal. I have a Do Not Disturb sign to hang on my cube, but no one ever pays attention to it......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: SharonA Date: 12 Nov 01 - 10:55 AM My PMS almost invariably involves bursting into tears, triggered by anything. One month, some years ago, I was fishing during my PMS and cried over catching a trout. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Amos Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:26 PM Well, it was pretty sad for the trout, Sharon -- maybe it's just hyper-compassion? A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: SharonA Date: 12 Nov 01 - 03:39 PM I think it was the combination of the two, Amos (hyper-compassion and PMS); I haven't fished at all in the last 5 years or so. I still eat the stuff, though. And I still cry at the drop of a hat, around PMS-time (pretty sad for the hat, eh?). |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: GUEST,GUEST - Silver Date: 12 Nov 01 - 04:28 PM Having been married twice and involved with a number of other women I have come to a conclusion on PMS: There are those that CHOOSE to use it as an excuse and those that do not.
Among those that choose NOT to use PMS as an excuse, I have found that they do, in fact, realize that their behaviour is grossly affected by this imbalance and struglle sharply to keep presence of mind to say things like, "Not right now, please. I am feeling very irritable and need you to stay away for about
Now for those out there that CHOOSE to use the PMS bug-a-boo.... The women are easily identifiable, in my experience. They charge headlong into battle with their man over the slightest thing and then in the midst of it all throw the PMS thing in the poor chap's face. So to these women, I give a big "thumbs down" and point them to the above statement for their reference.
I am in no way going to leave out those ladies that realize their actions were poorly judged until after the fact. If you personally feel you fall into this category, I can only suggest one thing: Try (I know, it's really hard sometimes!) to keep presence of mind long enough to say, "Lad, either you go away for a time, or I go away and calm down."
There are also a number of herbs that can help with this, ladies. Among them is Black Cohosh which was used by Native Americans to ease discomfort of menstrual cycles as well as hot flashes arising from menopause. Please, if you suffer from PMS, consider using this supplement as a way to ease your own suffering during premenstrual times. Your man may very well notice the change!
If any of this is redundant, my apologies. I could only manage to get thru about half the posts until I felt I HAD to say something... |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Nov 01 - 04:39 PM I was fine until I started to drive. Then I noticed that I would cut people up, swear at other drivers and generally act like a maniac (That's my excuse MudGuard, and I'm sticking to it!) at certain times.... Working with a complete moron tends to bring it out too, I have little enough patience with him at the best of times..... I once lived with someone who tried to injure me on a couple of occasions (ONLY a couple, he didn't get a third chance) but on talking with him later, I explained that I might have been pregnant at the time he assaulted me. He immediately turned it around by saying if he'd known, he would have realised that was why I'd been so irrational(I was guilty of nothing more than disagreeing with the amount of money I owed him, he earned 4 times my salary and took rent from me, and he'd lent me something to tide me over whilst a cheque cleared. He used the fact that he'd heard about women and hormones and tried to blame me for his violence. I don't consider PMS to be an excuse for anything, and particularly not by ladies of a certain caste and religion whose upbringing decrees they cannot discuss certain aspects of their personal lives or medical conditions in public or with men, and then go shoplifting. LTS
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: kendall Date: 12 Nov 01 - 06:13 PM Sorry CarolC, it's a guy thing. It's just another example of blaming the other person. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: harpgirl Date: 12 Nov 01 - 06:26 PM ...so I guess after menopause women don't have mood swings, irritability, tears over sad things, and all the other emotions you all insist are the result of biology and nothing else? |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: kendall Date: 12 Nov 01 - 07:47 PM Most of the women I've known after menopause have been damn glad it was over. Sure they weep at sad things, doesn't everyone? Sure they get irritated, doesn't everyone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 12 Nov 01 - 07:59 PM Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but I find that I have emotions that are situational, emotions that are connected to inner processes that I'm experiencing, and emotions that are like a veneer that lays on the surface and that are induced by hormones. These hormonally triggered emotions, being artificially induced, are not connected with anything real within me, and in fact, tend to obscure my real feelings. So they tend to get in the way of my ability to experience my real self, which does include emotions and feelings. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Art Thieme Date: 12 Nov 01 - 08:12 PM Well, folks, interesting topic. I don't have PMS but I do have MS and I'd gladly trade my symptoms for yours. **SMILE** And if anybody out there can tell me how to get P-(ee-ing) and other things back in my life, I'd really appreciate it. ***big smile*** Love, Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Big Mick Date: 12 Nov 01 - 08:17 PM Fools..........every man who responded to this ain't got a brain in their f***ing heads...............LOL. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: harpgirl Date: 12 Nov 01 - 09:12 PM So Carol, if someone kicks you or humiliates you or discounts you in some way while you are premenstrual and you react emotionally, how can you tell what part of your emotional response is triggered by the experience and what part by your PMS? |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 12 Nov 01 - 09:24 PM I guess the best way for me to do that is to try to pay attention to what my responses to things like that are when hormones aren't affecting my emotions. Then, I can use that awareness as a reference point for understanding my responses when hormones are effecting my emotions. That's what works best for me, anyway. And I find that it isn't as much of an issue when I do things like using hormone creams and watching what I eat in order to have my hormones more in balance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Amos Date: 12 Nov 01 - 09:26 PM P'raps we should borrow a page from the transcendant wisdom of Mister Yeats, excerpted from his "Prayer for my Daughter":
Indeed.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: kendall Date: 12 Nov 01 - 09:38 PM Mick my boy, are you saying that just because men dont have PMS, they are not qualified to comment on their experience with women who do? Well, I wasn't with Columbus, but, I know the world is round! |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 12 Nov 01 - 11:14 PM Art-
MS is a terrible illness, and I'm sure nobody who hasn't experienced it can really understand what it's like for you.
Have you read the book, "Tuesdays With Morrie"? The man that it's about didn't have MS. But he had an illness that denied him the use of his body. I thought it was a good book. I found Morrie's insights about life to be very helpful, both in terms of living normal everyday life, as well as dealing with catastrophic events in life. Here's some information about it in case you're not familiar with it and you're interested. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: GUEST,Celtic Soul Date: 13 Nov 01 - 08:23 AM On those who choose to use it as an excuse vs./those who realize it. I applaud those who realize it, but I think it going a bit far to say that the others "choose" not to. There are times when I have been in the middle of a PMS bout, and simply not known it until afterwards. At the time, it *seems* situational, and I *think* I am reacting in a degree that the circumstances warrant. It is only *after* the hormones abate that I can look back and say, "OK...that was over the top". The difference between your 2 categories may be as simple as the degree of suffering. If the latter category has a greater imbalance, it is perhaps harder for them to take a step back and rationally see that they are over the top. I find it a lot easier to tell when I am suffering when I am on something that alleviates some of the imbalance (as described above). And yes, CarolC, sunday, SUNDAY SUNdaaaaaaay! BE there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: kendall Date: 13 Nov 01 - 09:02 AM This is a "Must read" folks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: bernil Date: 13 Nov 01 - 12:02 PM I've read "Tuesdays With Morrie" and it was a wonderful book. But Morrie was a very special man. I wonder if I have a chance to live a bit like him, with my MS progressing??? Well, I do have some good talents. I can really enjoy the small nice things in life... And Art, I can't really understand what MS is for you either, but I can understand some of it perhaps as I have it too. P... is one of the problems, yes, thought not such a big problem for me now... W... alking is a bigger problem. But when I think about it... I think PMS has been worse for me than MS so far! I don't really know why it's better now (PMS) but it has really been terrible!! And I think I prefere sitting in a wheelchair (thought I've not tried it yet, I can still walk a little with a crutch) before feeling so depressed as when I had PMS sometimes 14 days a month. The last days I always wanted to kill myself! Of course MS can make you depressed, either a biological thing or as a reaction to the disease, but I'm not, at least not yet… at least not as often as I've been before… and absolutely not like when I had PMS!!! /Berit |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: CarolC Date: 13 Nov 01 - 12:25 PM bernil, from reading your post, I get the impression that you've got more of what makes Morrie special in you than you realize. Good luck with everything. |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: bernil Date: 13 Nov 01 - 03:52 PM Thanks, Carol, sometimes I think I have and sometimes not... Ups and downs you know... But one thing that I wouldn't call a small thing that makes me happy is... MUSIC! ;-)I usually just listen but I also sing and play sometimes, though not in public. Finding tips about good music here is a good thing for me and my health! Berit |
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Subject: RE: BS: PMS - the easiest excuse in the world? From: Art Thieme Date: 13 Nov 01 - 05:23 PM For me, MS is just what is. Life is a gas---no matter what. I can lurch about a block but it's a tossup whether or not I'll get home again. So I use an electric cart thing and just lost a rear wheel last week. I sat down and sang, "You Picked A Fine Time To Lave Me Loose Wheel".---That's for real. I do wish I could still pick though. Art Thieme |