Hitler Has Only Got One Ball

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: BrendanB
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 04:12 PM

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: GUEST,Anne Marie
Date: 12 May 15 - 04:43 PM

Bit late in responding, I know, but Flash Company posted on 14/5/04 that someone had as his ringtone "Don't throw the lamp at father, wait till he gets in bed" and he didn't know why.
Well, the next line is: "then the lamp oil will oil the bedstead springs" to the tune of Colonel Bogey, Now, this has been on my mind today and I wanted to know the rest of this entertaining combination of comedy and economical household tips, so I Googled it and it returned only one result ( a Googlewhack, I believe) - on your site.
Can anyone supply further lines?
My mother, b. 1912, used to sing it.

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 08:59 AM

Dont throw the lamp at father - wait till he gets in bed then grab his matches and his old clay pipe

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: Jack Campin
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 09:08 AM

Didn't the Germans have any retaliatory ones? They presumably knew that Churchill was an alcoholic and Monty was homosexual, so they had plenty to go on.

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Oct 17 - 09:27 AM

The only version I have come across was on the rugby coach many years ago:-
Hitler has only got one ball,
One.... but very very small.
Himmler, has got one similar,
But Mussolini's got no balls at all.

The last line reflecting Mussolinis' part (or not part) in the Second World War.

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: Severn
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 04:07 PM

I remember the song turning up in Thomas Pynchon's book "V".

My father used to sing something that I assumed came from the War to "Col. Bogey" that started out:

"Bullshit, will make the grass grow tall".....

....but that's all I remember. Can anyone add anything onto it? I always thought that it wasn't for a young son to inquirer about the rest.

I also remember an old ex-Major I worked with at a Post Office singing the first line of a song from time to time and never getting any further. It was to the tune of "Back Home InImdiana"

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: Severn
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 04:13 PM

....(continued)

"When the ice is on the rice in Southern Hanshu (sp?)
And the Saki in the cellar starts to freeze ..."

Old partly senile Major Mike only ever got through that first line, but he'd sing it out a lot. Is there more to this one?

Subject: RE: Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From: Lighter
Date: 14 Oct 17 - 09:07 AM

When the ice is on the rice in Southern Honshu
And the sake in the cellar starts to freeze
And you whisper "Sweet ojosan, I adore you"
Then you're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When you're dancing to the strains of "Tanko Bushi,"
And you're saying "Arigato," 'stead of please.
And you answer telephone with "moshi moshi"
I think maybe you are going Nipponese.

As you sit on the tatami sipping sake,
And the cold wind's whipping 'round your knees.
And you're munching on some gohan and osenbei,
Then you're surely getting taksan Nipponese

When you start spending yen like it was money,
'Stead of flinging it like paper in the breeze,
And think everything in English sounds so funny
Then, my lad, you're truly Nipponese.

VERSION II:

When the ice is on the rice in Southern Honshu
And the sake in the cellar starts to freeze
And you whisper to your josan, "I adore you"
Then you're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When your skipper [or "the colonel"] misses muster in the morning,
And the XO's got an undefined disease,
If the pilots are all medically restricted,
Then they're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When the benjos start to thaw in Asian springtime,
If the smell from them seems pleasant on the breeze,
It's time to write and tell your gal in San Francisco,
She's been replaced by your skoshi Nipponese.