BS: You are getting old when:

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:42 PM

Can I get into this game? I have a 78 rpm record of Vernon Dalhart singing After The Ball.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:56 PM

When you fall when climbing out of your tree house... poor Joan!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 01:06 PM

Any young sprout can have a 78-rpm record,Kendall; it takes an oldster to (a) have a gramophone (especially a wind-up one) to play it on; (b) know how to start up the gramophone and set the needle without scratching the record; and (c) know how to sharpen the needle (after 25 plays) because God knows you can't replace the one you have!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 01:13 PM

you skip the automotive and tool section of the weekly Canadian Tire flyer and don't skip the vitamin and health care section of the Shoppers Drug Mart weekly flyer.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 05:56 AM

You know how to use a mangle and wish you had one now. You realise that eating at home is better value for money and eating out can be such a rip off.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:05 AM

Hi Kendall.

Did you buy it new?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:10 AM

You skip the Forthcoming Marriages and Births on the paper's Personal page, and only scan thru the Deaths to see if there is anyone you know...

Who was it now who said "I start each day these days reading the Deaths column in bed, and if I'm not there then I get up"?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:20 AM

MY GET UP AND GO

How that I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went;
In spite of it all I'm able to grin
When I think of where my get up and go has bin.
Old age is golden, so I've heard said:
Sometimes I wonder when I get into bed:
My ears in the bed and my teeth in the cup,
My eyes on the table till I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
Is there anything else that's to be laid on the shelf?
I'm happy to see as I close the door
That my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
When I was young I could slip out of bed,
Kick my heels right over my head;
Then I got older like most of us do
But I could still double-shuffle the whole night through.

Now I'm old and I'm all out o' whack,
Walk to the corner and I puff my way back.
The reason I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went.
I really don't mind when I think with a grin
Of all the places that my get up and go has bin.
Since I retired from life's competition,
Busied myself with complete repetition;
Get up in the mornin' an' dust off my wits,
I pick up the paper and I read the obits;
My name's a-missin' but I know I ain't dead,
I just eat a good breakfast an' I go back to bed.

If this has been posted before, my apologies. Must be getting old.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:47 AM

Secretly checking the prices on cosmetic surgery after years of thinking of it as vanity (and actually visiting the premises) but still not quite convinced.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: EBarnacle
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:21 AM

When you whack your knee and it does not hurt any more than it already did. [Happened to me this morning.]

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:43 AM

You seriously consider getting rubber-soled house slippers 'cause you're afraid of slipping on the stairs.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM

When the priority is for Ibobrufen gels rather face creams.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Greg F.
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:16 PM

'You are old, Father William', the young man said,
   'And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
   Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

'In my youth', Father William replied to his son,
   'I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
   Why, I do it again and again.'

'You are old', said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
   And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
   Pray, what is the reason of that?'

'In my youth', said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
   'I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box -
   Allow me to sell you a couple?'

'You are old', said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
   For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -
   Pray, how did you manage to do it?'

'In my youth', said his father, 'I took to the law,
   And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
   Has lasted the rest of my life.'

'You are old', said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
   That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose -
   What made you so awfully clever?'

'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
   Said his father, 'don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
   Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!'


                        --- Lewis Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:39 PM

when you are making soup and can't find the GD f***ing spoon that was right there on the GD saucer just one f**ing minute ago! It was the only spoon that was... oh... you gotta get another spoon to get the spoon you were using out of the pot that you were making soup in.

Totally ficticious, of course. I just made that up.

Scuse me... I gotta check on the soup. If I can find the GD ladle.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:50 PM

Maybe when you wish you were young but wonder how you might have played the cards dealt differently with your older head. Can only speculate on that one...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Beer
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:05 PM

This happened to me last weekend. I'm in the back yard with my grandson and I'm pointing way, way up saying, "I planted those oaks, spruce, cedar and pine.
Ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:12 PM

I hope you explained... wait... how old is the lad, Beer?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Beer
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:53 PM

Lol Gnu. Hahahaha!!
He will be 12 on Sunday.
ad.