BS: What would you do for your dog?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:23 AM

Kat, you got the correct breed. Ike was a great, friendly dog and lived to be 14 years old (average, like in a lot of big breeds is about 8). I'm also surprised that he didn't eat the entire cake. As far as the "what would you do" point of this thread, his owner would massage his old, arthritic joints in his latter years. She still kept him well exercised and he was happy to be a dog right up till the end.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 09:37 PM

My favorites are the days when you come home and you realize that something isn't quite right....you're not sure what it is yet....and then it hits.

For a long time, every night there would be a Great Pen Migration in my living room. I would wake to find every pen I owned and left out had been swatted around the floor by the cat (he says they were trying to get away and he stopped them) and left on the living room floor.

One day I came home from work and there was an enormous feeling of "not quite right". I finally got a good look and my cat formerly white cat now had a screwy, drooly orange streak down his side and my dog's white paws and ruff were orange too. Near as I could tell, the cat had found one of those smelly orange markers to swat around, dog played too, and they ended up coloring each other. Thankfully it was Crayola and came right out of fur and the carpet, but the look of Whaaaaaat??? on those two faces sent me right into giggles.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Sorcha
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:17 PM

Hey, at least 'furrows' can be repaired. I'm suprised there was any cake left at all!!!!! LOL!

Subject: ADD: Ulysses (Jake Thackray)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:12 PM

I believe it's time to post a Jake Thakray song lyric...

Ulysses

Words & Music: Jake Thackray

When Ulysses comes home
He always greets me with an open heart
But you will see how Ulysses
Has taken my life apart

I've got a dog called Ulysses
He plays all day in the park
Sniffing at his friends and the chestnut trees
And chasing cats 'til after dark

When my Ulysses comes home (wag wag woof woof)
His tail in the air
His usual exuberance
Is awfully hard to bear

When I stumble home at night I'm jaded and stale
And so I try to take a little repose
I don't want waking up with a happy tail
I don't want a kiss from a big wet nose

When my Ulysses comes home (wag wag woof woof)
He gets on my wick
For Ulysses communicates
His love with a snuffle and a lick

I like to sit in my fireside chair
Watching telly 'til the epilogue
In a semi-coma and without a care
And I would do if it were not for my bloody dog

When my Ulysses comes home (wag wag woof woof)
Like a maniac
Its useless to pursue my viewing
So I've sent my television back

I tried to climb the social scale
And so I organised a little do
Some very posh people came to my cocktail
But at half-past seven my party was through

When my Ulysees came home (wag wag woof woof)
I knew I was sunk
My guests were not at all impressed
And they left when my dog got drunk

I brought my sweetie home one night
And we both knew that this was it
Sipping Chianti by candlelight
We were getting to a very important bit

When my Ulysees came home (wag wag woof woof)
He broke the spell
Intruding on my beautiful
Romance like a hound from hell

My one solution is quick and grim
A little bottle of cyanide
I can't bring myself to get rid of him
I shall have to perform a suicide

So when Ulysees comes home (wag wag woof woof)
Home for his tea
He'll have to cry a little bit
For having given so much love to me.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 05:18 PM

I know what I would like to do for my neighbour's dogs. I would like to take them away and find them good homes where they are NOT left to bark all day out of loneliness and boredom. Front page article in this week's paper was barking dogs are the biggest problem animal services has going. Aarrrggghhh!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 05:05 PM

You mean one of THESE? Beautiful, remind me of Newfoundlands. I notice it says they can easily graze one's table set with food.**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:00 PM

My former chiropractor told me about a time she had gotten a Leonberger (not sure of the spelling) puppy. This breed grows to the size of a small pony. Ike was getting under foot while said chiropractor was preparing food for a wedding reception. She had put a cake out on the porch to cool off. Forgetting that she had put the cake out there, she also put Ike out there to keep him out of the way. A couple hours later, she realized Ike and the cake were in the same space. There was a very happy Ike with icing on his muzzle, tail wagging, and a cake now decorated with a couple of dog furrows. She also couldn't scold the dog. It's hard to get mad when you're laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Kim C
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM

It was hilarious. She was just sitting there all demure and innocent - you know how they do. I couldn't scold her because I was laughing too hard, and the feather duster only cost 50 cents anyway. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Sorcha
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 02:49 PM

Oh Kim...what a vision! LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 02:02 PM

Oops.... there's another pic....

Thanks Kim.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM

Now... there another picture in my mind's eye!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Kim C
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 01:24 PM

I had a dog who killed a feather duster. I walked into the bedroom and there she sat, amid a flurry of hot pink feathers, with a few stuck to her nose.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: HouseCat
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 12:50 PM

My aunt had an elderly Spitz who had become diabetic, much to her great concern. Not long after the diagnosis, Auntie went into her bedroom to find poor Misha (the dog) spinning wildly in circles and snapping at the air, and contorted into an very odd position. She decided that the dog had gone into a seizure of some kind, brought on by the diabetes, and ran for the honey jar to give her a sugar boost. She struggled to pour honey into the snapping mouth of the spinning contorted dog for some minutes until she realized....

Misha had caught a back paw toenail in the long curly hair around her ear while having a scratch, and was only trying to get loose.

Auntie sat on the bedroom floor, covered in honey, and debated about whether or not to tell anyone about the incident. My Uncle walked in her and, after washing down the very sticky dog, gleefully spent the next 2 hours on the phone calling everyone he could think of.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 04:21 PM

I was an english major in college. Word usage is important (don't get me started on the misuse of "comprise"). More to the point, the poor critter was in trouble and needed help. It kind of reminds me of the verse in Sully's Pail: There are men can watch their partners die/not throw their lives away/But Reilly wasn't one them/he wasn't built that way. Getting the topic back to folk music in a way.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 10:36 AM

flounders don't flap around. Their undulating motion is quite graceful.

Very often people say or write, the ship "floundered" and sank. It foundered and sank.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Scoville
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 10:30 AM

Actually, I think "floundering", as in, "flapping around like a flounder [i.e. fish]" is pretty accepted usage; they simply don't mean exactly the same thing. Technically, the dog is doing both, floundering because he is foundering in the current.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 07:36 AM

Phil, I was struck by your PROPER use of the word "Foundering". Most people say FLoundering.

I would do anything for my dog that I would do for any other dear friend.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:39 AM

On second thought.....you owe me nothing, I do it again, anytime and more, in a heartbeat.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:34 AM

Well.....I've I've driven to the vet at a speed far exceeding any of our limits, with one hand trying to restrain a dog snarling in convusions on the seat beside me, jumped into any icy river to rescue one from the undertow of a waterfall, bandaged two up with sanitary napkins for more quick trips to the vet and dragged the wee frozen body of one a mile uphill on a kid's saucer sled in a snow storm....I figure that's enough for one lifetime......ya owe me, you mangey mutts!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: GUEST,KT still not logged in
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:25 AM

Our Corky was a wanderer when he was young, and would steal away if he got the chance. (mailman leaving the door open too long and such). I once got a call from the Governor's office, saying that Corky was there but the gov had other things to do so would I please come and get him? Small town.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: GUEST,KT logged out
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:21 AM

"I know he tries to pinch your scrunchies but he has never done that to me."      

HHmmmmmmmmm.........



Little Hawk, we had a Lance, too, and a very fine German Shepherd he was. Great family dog! Used to think he was a sled dog, and pulled us along the snowy streets during those Buffalo winters.

KT

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:21 AM

"I want to try to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am." -- an anonymous quote I came across recently.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:02 AM

Truebrit - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off.

Another one is KAKSOD - Killed Another Keyboard Squirting Out Drink.

I'm beginning to realise that despite their being demanding, annoying, self-centred and supercillious, having cats is less of a danger to my own health... except of course, for the nerves.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:55 PM

We have some friends in Indiana, who we have stayed with when passing through. We always thought very highly of them. They had an old golden retriever who jumped in their creek after the spring thaw. The current was fast, and the dog was old and couldn't climb out anymore and was foundering in the current. The man of the household jumped in and pulled him out, rather than watch him drown. We think more highly of them now. Were it my dog, I would have done the same. It's what you do for you pals.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:50 PM

I love Seamus but my dog (Asha, the bull mastiff) is dumber. But pretty please -- what does ROTFLMAO mean?????

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:46 PM

Sinsull, Seamus has never taken anything off the table at home, and I believe I said he has never swallowed anything that wasn't food.
You let him get away with mayhem at your house, sleeping on the sofa etc. he knows what he can get away with and where he can get away with it.
I know he tries to pinch your scrunchies but he has never done that to me. I don't leave tissues around, and he never grabs my knitting either.
You try to reason with him!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Sorcha
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:23 PM

Yea, just roughage. As are sandals. I spent almost $10,000 trying to save their lives but lost. Does that count?

Sign in my house...dogs welcome, children on leads please. Our house is set up for the comfort of our dogs. If you don't like that, you know where the door is.

Jacqui, I wouldn't hesitate a bit to do what you did, even for a Lab...LOL! Now, for a toy poodle or a 'shit zoo' I'd have to think a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:42 PM

That's just roughage!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:34 PM

Kendall, you lie! Seamus has eaten untold amounts of tissues, paper towels and napkins taken from table tops, my purse, even my pockets. My hair, hair clips and headbands have been fair game from Day 1.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 07:48 PM

Good point, SRS.
I've known three pit bulls and a Doberman, plus a couple of Rotweillers. All were pussy cats and not one bit mean.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 05:43 PM

I have learned a great deal about dogs since my two arrived. In the past we had bird dogs and they were pretty submissive to their humans. With the pit bull and blue heeler I have now, I'm in charge (mostly) and they are safely in the yard. When I see the silly playful loving pit bull back there I am saddened by the cruel people who subject these animals to the treatment that makes them fighters. The things I've done for my dogs include completely rebuilding the stockade fence and training them to the Invisible Fence system that is in place in addition to the physical fence. It was expensive but necessary. I need to keep them in to protect them from people who are afraid of pit bulls.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:55 PM

Good point. ;-) I bet that's just the way my dachshund sees it.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: JenEllen
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:46 PM

When you realize how tiny their little brains are, armoured inside their rocklike skulls, and how difficult it is for a complex thought to work its way through all that solid bone, then it's easy to forgive them their peculiar habits...

Goes for dogs and owners alike, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:37 PM

When you realize how tiny their little brains are, armoured inside their rocklike skulls, and how difficult it is for a complex thought to work its way through all that solid bone, then it's easy to forgive them their peculiar habits...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

I had another yellow Lab before Seamus, and he was exactly like Seamus. A joy to have around. He chewed up my belt and the feather from my hatband. Never liked that hat anyway.

Behavior problems originate with owners, not the dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:01 PM

Seamus has never swallowed anything but food. He has never taken anything off a counter or table, and he has never chewed anything except the skirt on the sofa when he was a little puppy.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM

Great stories folks!! I'll have to ask Rue for some about her household, three female boxers under one year old and an old lady pit bull, Nanny Dizzy, who keeps them in line, sometimes.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Becca72
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 02:35 PM

All I have to add is "hehehe"

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: JenEllen
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:59 PM

LMAO Jacqui!

I think if there is a heaven, there is a special place in it for people who own yellow labs.

I have 2 friends (brothers) who bought littermate labs and 2 more unbelievable creatures have never walked the earth. I was blessed with a pretty good mutt, so when I puppy-sat for the guys one week I was shocked.

If I had a nickel for every time I said: "Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me..." I could pay for the damage to the house and mental trauma to the cat.

Even now, the guys still laugh whenever there is food stolen off of counters, hoses chewed through, garbage cans knocked over, holes dug, and they tease each other about who's dog had more golfballs removed from its stomach in one surgery. Unbelieveable.

Bless your heart and saintly disposition--Seamus is a lucky dog!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:35 PM

Labs were bred to swim in ice water for hours at a time. I don;t know what jacqui was bred for.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 12:55 PM

When I first got Clancy, he had to be crated due to chewing and trash-strewing issues. To get him into the crate, I crawled in first and convinced him to crawl in with me. At about that point, my roommate came home, took one look at us and asked "so, which one of you REALLY belongs in the zoo?"

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 11:10 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 11:01 AM

Actually, I was thinking about Dumb Things I've Done for My Dog in whatever thread it was that discussed bullocks, and the perils thereof.

We were walking across one of my uncle's fields many Springs ago and didn't realize that my uncle had turned a shedful of bullocks out for the first time. (They're even friskier when they're fresh out of confinement.) Dog went to check them out then loped off across the field, with bullocks in hot pursuit - weirdly, in single file, so it looked somewhat surreal. Anyhow, "What would I do for my dog?" I thought they'd trample him so I called for him to come to me. THEN realized that with Dog came Bullocks. So we then had a fast moving column of me, Dog, Bullocks. I and Dog ended up knee deep in a river. Well, he was chest deep. I was knee deep, and in wellie-boots that were only mid-calf (no pun intended) high. Yuk.

Mates, through thick and thin. Miss the old hairy beast...

sian

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:25 AM

I have tried to pry Seamus' jaws open when he grabs my hair while I am driving. He knows how to tease. Strong and mindless.

Have to admit - every time I see him chase out after a ball, I think of the black lab in the movie Jaws. SIGH Damn Steven Spielberg!

I am so sorry I was not there to see this. Then again I would probably have gone in with Jacqui and we both would have gotten wet.

My favorite part of the story has been left out. The simpleton on shore who kept shouting about hypothermia. Much like the woman at the park who kept insisting that Seamus has hurt his leg.

On the serious side - this is how ridiculous accidents happen and people drown. Might want to keep the big yellow goofus away from that part of the beach.

Auntie SINS

PS Well done, Seamus! I have always questioned Jacqui's sanity when she tells me how well trained you are.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:34 AM

ROTFLMAO! Thank you LH and Liz!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 03:45 AM

It's a good job I have a ready supply of clean underwear available here....

I think I recognise myself in the batshit, round-the-bend stark raving loony description too... who else would have a cat that sets its own arse alight for Christmas?

Not just one cat, but two, at two separate Christmases, both caught their arses alight. Next year I'm going to try lighting the Christmas pudding instead.

Just be grateful you have a Lab... if it were an Irish Setter, you'd probably still be out there!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:40 AM

Our neighbours back in the 60's had a dog, a golden retriever I think it was...and it wanted to catch fish! It would spot a fish from up on our dock and become absolutely riveted to the sight of that fish swimming lazily around the legs that supported the dock. It would hang over the edge, moaning and groaning with excitement, until finally the urge became overpowering, then hurl itself into the water, raising an almighty splash. This would cause the fish to flee, naturally, with the dog swimming after it in wet pursuit, a few feet beneath the water. Fish will often head deeper in a case like that, and the dog would follow at a surprisingly good speed...but he never caught one. He would eventually surface, half-drowned, and stagger ashore, spluttering and coughing. He would then shake himself off vigorously and head out onto the dock with steely determination, ready for the next round.

He was a total idiot. ;-)

He did various other things too, considerably more gross than that, and I don't think you really want to know what they were...

Then there was Lance, the German Shepherd. He would retrieve anything. Absolutely anything. You just had to throw it. With a big enough catapult I believe one could have arranged to have him try and retrieve a thrown Lincoln Continental. It would have made an interesting experiment.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:25 AM

A Buoy and his Dog- Perfect!

That Seamus does lead a charmed life, doesn't he. I haven't forgotten Sinsull's park story.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:16 AM

The only name for that story is

A Buoy and his Dog

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: KT
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 10:18 PM

Well, Jacqui, I've just come from a gathering of 8 golden retrievers and a few humans, too, and all of us got a kick out of the retelling of your story!