BS: Britain's Most Haunted

Subject: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 01:20 PM

I'm becoming very scared indeed. The ghost of a royal lady is haunting one of Britain's top newspapers. Every Monday, The People's Princess's ghost appears on the front page of the Daily Express and it's scaring the crap out of me. Does anyone know a good exorcist to let this fine lady rest in peace and not go scaring the Shit out of ordinary people like me.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 01:38 PM

That must be some good shit you're smoking - pass it over here!

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 03:55 PM

Is her head tucked underneath her arm?

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:38 PM

Underneath some body's arms, I think. I've just had a fresh scare - she's back on front page of today's Express. This is far too spooky for me. I used to be very cynical about the supernatural, but now; as Neil Diamond and the Monkeys would say - Altogether now - "Doo de doo, doo doo I'm a Believer").

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: terrier
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:44 PM

Do you believe everything you read in the Express? No one else does!

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:46 PM

The last I heard, she was on the radio;

(and the speedometer, and the gas gauge...)

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: Bert
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:52 PM

I'm afraid that there is just no way of exorcising The Daily Express. The paper has been doomed for eternity.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 05:04 PM

Yes. I believe everything they write. Why would a newspaper tell lies? They told us about WMD and how Saddam could destroy the world in 45 seconds, didn't they?

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: terrier
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 05:14 PM

I suppose everyone should EXPRESS what they believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:51 AM

The Daily Express called George Joseph Smith a criminal genius. He used to drown his wives in the bath. He did three of these. Then one girl's fathernoticed that all this blokes wives drowned in the bath.

The Express also said Thatcher was a genius.

It doesn't mean to mislead, its just stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 04:03 AM

It can only get worse from now on. The tenth anniversary of the mulder of the Pimple's Precess is on August 31st. The ghost will not only haunt the Deadly Excess, but the Chunderer, the Torygraph, the Daily Smell, the Grauniad and the Mirer.

She was muldered by Brutish "Intelligence" to stop her marrying Dildo Al Fathead. The humiliating rundown of MI5 in 18 years of Tory Miss Rule is clear. Back in the old days, the spies had Aston Martins and 1930 Bentleys. In 1997, they only had a white Fiat.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

PMB: White Fiat, there's a clue in there that the Express could probably use. Fiat is an anagram of tafi (Taffy). Since Taffy was a welshman, this points the dead finger at the Prince of Wails.

Good God, man! This is even scarier than I, at first, thought. A face and now an accusing voice from beyond the grave. Hats off to the Express for this piece of psychic journalism.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 05:21 PM

I just feel for her sons. No chance of an even close to normal life and their mum is a money making ghost for ghouls. You think they actually asked for any of this to happen? Or even be born into that family? (assuming it is a family.....I have my doubts)

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 04:05 AM

"White Fiat" is an anagram of "What if it E?", clearly pointing the finger directly at Her Majesty, the head of The Family. But then, "Twin Towers Nine Eleven" is an anagram of "Never let teen winos win", indicating that the ills of US society are caused by underage drinking.

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM

PMB: I think the Fulham Pharaoh should know of this. Your piece of evidence is more compelling than the Express's. This proves beyond a reasonable doubt that the princess and the pharaohina were bumped off by her majesty in the Royal Fiat. Didn't someone mention seeing a registration plate ERII? Really spooky,what?

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 04:06 PM

PB, take great care! Ever since I sent that last post an MFI van has been parked outside my home. We've stumbled on our own "Rolf Harris Code" type mystery/thriller. We don't want to end up like Dr Grace Kelly, now. Do we?

A fanciful suicide - shot 20 times, stabbed 30, garrotted, poisoned and drowned - what did the coroner say? Death by suicide or misadventure - that's what!

Keep watching the skies!

---

Please note that anonymous posting is no longer allowed at Mudcat. Use a consistent name [in the 'from' box] when you post, or your messages risk being deleted.
Thanks.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Britain's Most Haunted
From: GUEST,Scared Stiff
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 06:18 PM

In my excitement at finding the solution to the meaning of the 'white Fiat' I forgot to put my Pseudonym on the last post. Sorry, Joe!