Lyr Req: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it

Subject: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From:
Date: 18 Apr 99 - 10:24 AM

Hi all the bodies looking at this. I hope somone of you can help. I am still looking for an old song form way back that my father used to sing to me,In the 40's. This feller has a shilling and can't change it and hopes to cheat some blind man. Thenhe married and his wife had false teeth,hair and wooden leg. He would chope her up for kindeling wood. Can anyone PLEASE HELP ME?????

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Apr 99 - 01:20 PM

Hi, Irish - Well, the series of songs about women with false body parts is #651 in the Digital Tradition Database. If you put #651 in the search box in the upper-right corner of this page, you'll come up with the songs listed below. I don't think any of these are exactly the song you're looking for, but maybe they will set somebody else off in the right direction. Come back and tell us more about the song, if you can.
-Joe Offer-

1) AFTER THE BALL (Dismantled Bride)

DT #651

2) AMONG MY SOUVENIRS

#651

3) A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG NYMPH GOING TO BED (1731)

#651

4) SIDE BY SIDE

#651

5) THE UNFORTUNATE MAN

DT #651

6) VERY UNFORTUNATE MAN

DT #651

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Philippa
Date: 25 May 99 - 04:32 AM

Joe, there's at least one missing from your list:
A DANDY FOR NINETEEN YEARS OLD

Subject: Lyr Add: SILICONE CINDY (Bert Hansell)
From: Bert
Date: 25 May 99 - 09:02 AM

Here's me again, with a song for every occasion. In the true tradition of folksong thievery, I borrowed pieces from the above songs for this one.

It was inspired by a newspaper article about a woman who had implants and finished up with a 70-inch bust.
An event which should not go unsung. You know the tune.


You're my Silicone Cindy
The Girl that I desire
a beautiful celluloid kewpie doll
don't sit near the fire

Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
But don't sit near the fire

They overdid your eyelid tuck
Your eyes, they stare so wide
They couldn't find anything for your butt
so they use Naugahyde

Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Covered with Naugahyde

Your breasts are made of silicone
your hair is nylon twine
your teeth are made of porcelain
the rest of you's all mine

Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
the rest of you's all mine

This surgical augmentation
on you looks really grand
I'll have to try some for myself
now you don't fit in my hand

Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Get along home Silicone Cindy
Now you don't fit in my hand.

Copyright Bert Hansell, 1994

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From:
Date: 03 Jun 99 - 12:32 PM

Hi All who look at this! I am still looking for that song called "I can't Change It or Her! No signs of it yet. Refresh

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From:
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 07:48 PM

I am still interestedin finding this song. Maybe my foster father was the poet or writer of the song and then it would be an original and no one including me will ever know the lyrics! Oh Dear! I will refresh the posting.

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From:
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 11:32 PM

Refresh

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 05:18 AM

Keep refreshing this, and I guarantee that some day, somebody will know this song and post the lyrics for you. I admire your tenacity.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Art Thieme
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 08:46 AM

This thread is quite offensive to me! I had a dear old uncle who was very special to me. He had a wooden leg---from the knee up! What a cross to bear!!! And sadly (it's so hard to talk about these things) my aunt passed away (bless her dear departed heart) from a truly horrible condition and also a terrible way to leave this mortal coil---terminal slivers. It gave her the most wooden personality during those last six months that I have ever encountered. So terribly sad to encounter one's demise in this fashion. You'd think that with all those slivers in her from her ---- to her feet that they mmight act like just so many millions of acupuncture needles. But no!! It was just the opposite. What an excruciating way to meet your demise. I'd not wish it on my worst enemy. (Or my best friend who just left here with my latest girlfriend. **BIG SMILE** ;-)

I'd not wish this fate on a dog.

Art Thieme

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 09:25 AM

Bert, verse 2 seems to lack the second line, my guess is:"So your eyes stay open wide". Is that it? Roger

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Bert
Date: 09 Sep 99 - 12:21 PM

Well so it does. Must have fallen into the bit bucket. The line should be

"Your eyes, they stare so wide"

Thanks for catching that one. As it so happens that line was taken from real life, I actually knew someone that happened to.

Bert.

Missing line added above.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Shilling, wooden leg, cant change it
From: Bert
Date: 09 Sep 99 - 02:09 PM

Thanks Joe, You know it's a folk song if someone can pretty much guess the missing lines ;-)