Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 13 Sep 07 - 04:09 PM A monorchid then? G |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Sep 07 - 12:05 PM Ah, but there's is only one of Jack (we hope and pray to all the Deities!!) LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 13 Sep 07 - 05:27 AM Ford Open prison I do believe not far from the metrollops of Littlehampton [I blame the cold weather]. Bellmarsh is a high security facility, and would be more suitable for Jack I feel. Now if we were talking old scrotes here, I would say Jack fits the description, as he is brown furry and floppy, and requires a hand to make him come to life. Ooopsie, I better go now.................. Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: GUEST,A concerned citizen Date: 13 Sep 07 - 03:47 AM Former deputy leader of the Conservative party? Wasn't he in Belmarsh Open Prison, not many miles as the crow goes, from the Royal Palace of Greenwich? Jack has surely come down in the world if he's consorting with that kind of "clinic". |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Irene M Date: 12 Sep 07 - 03:20 PM I think I'm going to phone Alcoholics Anon and resign. That was surreal! |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 12 Sep 07 - 12:40 PM Not...............................The Priory! gasp gasp. Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Sep 07 - 12:03 PM Jack is doing quite well with his rehab. We moved him to a different 'clinic' near Greenwich due to complaints about the smell from the French. He's been through a few therapies now, hasn't touched a drop of alcohol for a week and smells a lot better. Soon as I get my Flickr site sorted again, I'll post the photos we managed to smuggle out... it was an "exclusive" resort, where photography is discouraged but I understand they've had good results with former deputy chairmen of the Conservative Party. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 04 Sep 07 - 05:31 PM We go walking on the cliff tops, thus, thus, thus, Come all you canine playmates and walk along with us So dutiful and fair you've proved yourselves to be Now choose yourselves a partner to go and share a pee. Kitty |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 04 Sep 07 - 05:17 PM Therapy, more like here a pee there a pee. G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 04 Sep 07 - 05:07 PM Refresh. I think the community needs to be aware of Jack's whereabouts at all times.... Kitty |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Sep 07 - 03:57 AM He had his first therapy session last night. We took him to Beachy Head and made him go walking on the cliff tops, without his Middle Bar shirt. You know, without that magic yellow shirt, he's a big girls' blouse! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 03 Sep 07 - 10:56 AM The rum is usually gone because Jack found it. I look forward to meeting the new, reformed puppy but will say publicly here and now that I remain skeptical. His last time in rehab involved two air ambulances, several off duty policeman and 3 pints of cooking sherry. Suffice it to say the bail money was about the same amount as the third world debt but I believe Amy Winehouse paid it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Sep 07 - 07:30 AM Jack is now booked into the 'Crap-be-Gone' Rehab and Social Training Centre where he will be fumigated, detoxed and possibly stomach-pumped. He requests that there be no photos until he's had a chance to put his liver back together and maybe find Jesus. He's already looked under the car seats and down the back of the fridge. Of course, he could just have been looking for the rum. Why IS the rum always gone? Anyway, the time up the tent pole has obviously deeply affected him, he wants to "get ma shit togeva doode" (sick) and is "lookin for summink man". I did suggest that Pete Doherty was probably not the best person to sponsor his rehab. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 02 Sep 07 - 03:36 PM Jack was last seen (by me anyway) at about 2.30 this morning, propping up the food marquee at the Wareham Wail. Or, rather, lashed to the pole propping up the marquee, possibly to escape from his role as deputy pig's head. I think there will be photos.... Kitty |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 31 Aug 07 - 11:56 AM But would it "enjoy" him? |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 31 Aug 07 - 08:25 AM Surely he's nothing if not 'Hand Baggage'? I was wondering if he might like a Scottish Oktober MudFest visit? I'm sure he'd enjoy a distillery tour ;) G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 31 Aug 07 - 07:28 AM "They dont like it up them" |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Severn Date: 31 Aug 07 - 07:27 AM He is safe and sound at "Old Keepers" while I'm staying there with Hils (a/k/a My Guru Always Said) & Richard, though they won't let him inside,what with him being even a little game for "Keepers". Hell, he seems to be game for anything, whether it's in season or not. Being full of ticks, they rekcon he'll make a fine watch dog. I'm not sure Richard should indoctrinate him into the joys of being a "sheddist", lest he misinterpret, though I could probably do with a little extra "Hair of the Dog" by the end of Wareham. My photos will be captioned and sent to Phot when I get back to Chez Leadfingers sometime after Wareham and I have turned Jack over at the appointed transfer point, although I see there are some thread rumblings about me taking him to America when I re-embark. If there's embarking in my suitcase, however, maybe they'll manage to lose my bags on the way home again, even though I'm not taking Err-Canada again. Watch this space for more adventures, as I will hopefully bring a "Be Wareham Of Dog" sign to warn off the uninitiated. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 31 Aug 07 - 06:14 AM She said "If you don't put the frock on, the hand goes in the fridge first" G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 31 Aug 07 - 06:04 AM Where in the name of heaven did the fairy frock come from and how drunk did you have to get him to get him into it? |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 31 Aug 07 - 03:51 AM Q. Whats the difference between Jack and a sponge? a. You can saturate a sponge, No one knows Jacks true capacity, since no one has ever had enough dosh to fill the little boozer |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 31 Aug 07 - 02:48 AM I'd've said 'sponge'. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:38 PM going by the rate at which he inales whisky, I reckon it qualifies him as at least "humanoid" (a bit like a hammeroid, a human ish pain in the ass) |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: lady penelope Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM LOL! Liz. Mind you that's if you can prise him out of his new fairy costume..... |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:27 AM He has no human rights... he's not human. Not entirely sure he's animal either. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:25 AM mind you, you would probably be nicked for "infringing his human rights" |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:10 AM Or stocks , well away from the booze, might be good |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 30 Aug 07 - 03:40 AM I've got some ginger rum here that will warm you up... want me to bring it to Wareham? Does Jack have a mediaeval costume? I may have something here that will "fit" him. (THINKS: Where can I get a really small Iron Maiden?) LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 29 Aug 07 - 07:13 PM The other soggy occasion, from Giok's photos,Mary is where we are not dancing in the Ford at Sidmouth which everyone knows is not allowed so we don't do it. Jack was apparently 'helping' the scratch ceilidh band at one point. I'd love to know how, when he can't carry a tune in a bucket but I noticed there was a litre bottle of whisky going round the muso's so I spect he was 'helping' with that. There was not a litre of whisky going round the dancers, sadly and I was bloody soaked and freezing for the rest of the day...or I would have been, if I had been dancing in the Ford, which of course I wasn't. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 29 Aug 07 - 04:11 PM It's a Sidmouth Middle Bar Singers tradition Sins, every year on the Thursday, they wear yellow, and process from the Anchor down to the sea, where they enter said sea, and sing shanties. i mean what else would you sing in the sea? You may note that Jack has his own yellow MBS Tee shirt too! Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: SINSULL Date: 29 Aug 07 - 04:03 PM He does get seedier and seedier looking. I hope you're keeping his shots and Frontline up to date. I mean Jack. Two questions: Was there a mass baptism at the festival? why are all those people fully dressed and in the water? AND You give Jack Jim Beam and expect him to behave? Next time make it Jack Daniel's or something else decent and maybe he'll behave better. SINS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Phot Date: 29 Aug 07 - 03:18 PM he looks so happy..............Jack I mean, not anyone else so much |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 29 Aug 07 - 02:47 PM Oh god, Giok, what were the bar bills like? And how could George actually let him into his home? And does the silver need to be returned? |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 29 Aug 07 - 11:34 AM Jack and Giok's big adventure [Piss up] G. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Aug 07 - 11:36 PM Oh, and if he's a pain in the arse, you're holding him wrong! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Aug 07 - 02:22 PM So Phot, that explains the way he smells.... any chance he can go through decon before he gets inflicted on the world again? Or are the British Navy planning to use him as chemical warfare? I'm sure he contravenes several of the Geneva Conventions! Limpit has had all her shots, she should be quite safe. She finger knitted him a rather fetching purple lead.. He stayed with us a while back and behaved disgustingly, Limpit formed an unhealthy attachment then and the bond is obviously still there. I'm seeking therapy for her. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 28 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM To continue the Saga (and to explain the above message, were that possible) Jack at Towersey |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: GUEST,micca at wwork Date: 28 Aug 07 - 06:23 AM BTW he also mumbled something about a "pink slip for Towersey" and going by the Transvestite outfit he showed up in on Sunday night I am not sure I clearly understand what he meant. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 28 Aug 07 - 03:57 AM Morty, I am sure thats not what he was singing at Towersey.. it sounded more like The Engineers song to me, mind you he was half way down a hip flask of Ardbeg at the time, having discovered that the "shoes" had "Thatchers Katy" in Bottles!!! and also another Thatchers "Milk of Amnesia" (sort of red coloured stuff) on draught. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 28 Aug 07 - 03:29 AM Brilliant photos, Bente, thanks!It was so nice to meet you too, hope you get over again soon. It seems odd that the fleabitten wee scuzzbag gets to more festivals than all the rest of us put together.Now if only he'd learn the words to a song other than 4 and 20 Virgins... |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Phot Date: 27 Aug 07 - 06:18 PM Piss head he maybe, but the only time he did'nt come out on ops with us in Iraq, we took rather a lot of incoming rounds, bricks, stones...You get the idea, hence he always came after that, so he does have a few redeeming features..........Mind you, he's still a pain in the arse!! Wassail!! Chris. |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Micca Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:19 PM The little |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: bfdk Date: 27 Aug 07 - 04:47 PM I've been too busy to get my photos online, but I did catch the wee rascal on camera and up to no good he was.. Singing his little heart out on the way to the dip in the sea. Getting into the action, annoying the ladies, begging cider from the doomesday lady in the Swan, sleeping it off, and finally stowing away in MacKenzie's backpack to get a free ride up to Whitby.. Best wishes, Bente |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Morticia Date: 27 Aug 07 - 03:15 PM At least Idris and I got out of taking him to Krakow on holiday with us. With all the cheap wodka, we would never have seen him again....on second thoughts, damn!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: John MacKenzie Date: 27 Aug 07 - 02:41 PM Patience Kitty patience G |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 27 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM So, where are the pics? K |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Leadfingers Date: 27 Aug 07 - 01:42 PM Before going up to Whitby and thence to Towersey , Jack also visited Maidenhead Folk Club !! |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 27 Aug 07 - 01:20 PM If not, what are the chances of Jack being allowed into the USA with Severn? Kitty |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Phot Date: 27 Aug 07 - 01:04 PM I didn't think it was possible to become fond of Jack......I don't suppose he'll be tired of his travels before Wareham by any chance? |
Subject: RE: BS: Jack in Sidmouth From: Herga Kitty Date: 27 Aug 07 - 12:25 PM Severn commented yesterday at Towersey that Limpit seemed to be getting very fond of Jack - LTS, I'm sure you'll make sure she's well protected. Kitty |