BS: The perks of being an old fart

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 01:30 PM

I don't have the shamelessness to do a white cane schtik but the fun on could have with it could be licencious.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Sooz
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 09:57 AM

Obviously, Villan.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rasener
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 05:08 AM

Are you and Mike considered to be old farts in your village then Sooz?

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 04:09 AM

You can tell young kids what life was like when you were young, and really impress them with how awful and primitive things were (without video games, calculators, computers, skateboards, cell phones, VCRs, cable TV, etc.). ...

... and point out that our generation invented them all

... and apologize for giving them to the young whippersnippets.

John

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Sooz
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 03:13 AM

We got a hamper from the village schoolchildren's harvest festival.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rasener
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 02:02 AM

mangles

45rpm

ration books

conductors on buses

buses that you could jump on to, when it was pulling away.

law and order

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 12:08 AM

You can impress people with casual reminiscences of steam locomotives, telegrams, and other vanished commonplaces.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 12:07 AM

We could start a thread on all the technology that has disappeared during the lifetimes of us old farts. We wouldn't even have to lie.

Anybody remember the IBM Selectric typewriter?

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:40 PM

Caxton was at our school.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:23 PM

Ha! When I was a lad, Fortran was only threetran! And we had to hand-crank the power for the computers! And the printouts? Gutenberg type!

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 07:57 PM

Perks of being an old fart?

Obviously the only one that counts:

          OLD WOMEN

Luv 'em all.

John

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 07:35 PM

Here

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rowan
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 07:26 PM

Where's Ivor Cutler when you need him?

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 07:02 PM

Yeah. Well, at least you HAD eyebrows.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 06:51 PM

Ha! When I was learning programming we didn't have all this fancy stuff. Nossirree! We had to input the data by using a manual typewriter! And we had to enter it all in BINARY! Yessiree! And ones and zeros hadn't been invented yet, so we had to use lower-case ells and upper case ohs. Uphill both ways, through snow up to our eyebrows.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 06:14 PM

A five mile walk to school in weather that was 45 below zero--and no shoes. Uphill both ways. Slate to use because paper hadn't been invented yet.

But, you know the difference between boogers and broccoli?


















Ya can't get a kid to eat broccoli.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 06:10 PM

You can tell young kids what life was like when you were young, and really impress them with how awful and primitive things were (without video games, calculators, computers, skateboards, cell phones, VCRs, cable TV, etc.).

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 04:49 PM

"Comma splice" indeed - they keep on inventing these new linguistic terms just to disguise the fact they don't know any real grammar...

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 04:16 PM

However, the teacher would likely be impressed that the young fellow was able to avoid a comma splice, use an uppercase letter to begin the sentence and end punctuation to close.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 03:37 PM

That would be enough to ruin one's whole day, I should think.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 03:15 PM

When your 2nd grader comes home with a new word list that includes the word barrow, you help him construct the sentence with the 1st meaning of the word from your Funk and Wagnells dictionary...
barrow n. : a castrated hog.

The poor barrow was not only castrated but had a rat trap slam shut on his penis.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Irene M
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 02:51 PM

Giok, I thought you LIVED here.

By the way, have fun over the weekend.

Irene

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 02:48 PM

I am not old. But, I do feel like a fart drug through a keg of nails.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 02:47 PM

"Just because there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire's out in the hearth."

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: GUEST,strad
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 02:24 PM

You fancy the daughter, the mother, the grandmother and eventually the greatgrandmother!

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 01:37 PM

We could all loosen up by taking a page from Steven Colbert and celbrate life with extreme sarcasm and laughter.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:37 PM

Sword canes!!

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM

No longer have to specify that you want a chair on stage. They take it for granted.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:23 PM

Do I come here often?

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: GUEST,Frogprince in San Francisco
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:12 PM

Just had an interesting moment. I was manning our art associations gallery, and the wife of the editor of our small town paper came in with a new young woman photographer they just acquired. The young lady asked to take a picture of me with the photos I had up at the time. She started going "Oh, he's so cute; he's just adorable". Hilarious, and a little crazy, but for a guy who grew up as a homely, backward, dateless geek, I must admit that being treated as a cute little old fart doesn't feel all that bad.                      Dean

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:19 AM

You can get away with being lethal with the supermarket trolley.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:17 AM

Free medical prescriptions

Best of all - half price into gigs.

My Beloved and I went to see the Manfreds recently - her ticket was £12, mine a fiver.

Did I mention the grandbrats ? When one has filled the nappy, you can hand it back to the parent, saying 'Awful smell of shite off this child'.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: topical tom
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:08 AM

You can feign illness or soreness and be believed; a way out of unwanted situations.

    Pretending you didn't hear avoids many confrontations.

    Senior discounts.

    Use "little time left" to acquire and do many things

    Ah, so many perks, so little time!

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rasener
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 11:07 AM

Free bus pass

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:43 AM

Getting 10% off.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: fat B****rd
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:23 AM

34. You can ogle young girls bodies and make out your eyesight's geting worse. So I've been told.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Midchuck
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:20 AM

It's all right not to be able to remember who someone is...although you have to be really old for it to be all right if it's a close relative.

You can go for a whole hour at a time thinking about something other than sex. Not that you always choose to.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: GUEST,Pseudolus at work
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:07 AM

32. You can hit the enter key too soon adn no one cares!

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:07 AM

33. When you fart in public people pretend they don't hear.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:04 AM

31. You can start using words like WHIPPERSNAPPER and PIPSQUEAK with conviction and it's just assumed that YOU are not the one who is wet behind the ears.

Even if you can't type without hitting the submit button!

32. You get to do the Bifocal Dance Step and the Wilbury Twist.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 10:02 AM

28. No one is too surprised or put off by the old fart smell that accompanies you.

29. You get to start coming to the 8AM Mass, where people who have trouble getting dressed up all by themselves are more than welcome.

30. You can blame your age for your bossy crabbiness and people BELIEVE it! :~)

31. YOu can start using words like

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:45 AM

27. You can hunt fo your own Easter eggs.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: artbrooks
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:11 AM

26. People expect you to work harder for free ("volunteer") than you ever did for a regular paycheck.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Wesley S
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:11 AM

26 - Peolpe expect you to lose count.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:09 AM

25. Courts are often more lenient in your sentencing.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rasener
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:01 AM

make that 24 LOL

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rasener
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:01 AM

23. You get invited by all the charities or schools to have christmas dinner with them.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:00 AM

23. You realize that age and guile will always win over youth and enthusiasm.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 08:57 AM

22. Young folks give you their seats in the bus.

Subject: RE: BS: The perks of being an old fart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 08:57 AM

22 You become invisible to all attractive members of the opposite sex!
G