BS: Be mildly concerned...

Subject: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:13 PM

Large numbers of California slugs are marching on Washington to protest the recent droughts and fires in California. The slugs are expected to reach the Capitol sometime in 2012.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: TheSnail
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:18 PM

Right On, brothers.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:18 PM

Racing slugs, I see.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:29 PM

All those snails with housing problems... shouldn't something be done?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: David C. Carter
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:39 PM

There's something a bit slimy behind all this.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM

They will surely be amazed when they find the slugs who are already there.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 06:50 PM

Watch that slug go. Does Nancy know?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 07:07 PM

Little Hawk didn't mention that their starting point was Charlottesville, Virginia (These slugs are au courant and politically aware. They just may make it.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Padre
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 07:16 PM

Quick, get out the salt!!

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 07:25 PM

I perfer a rifled slug. Even in a smooth bore, they deliver much more tight groupings, as long as the choke is full.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Alba
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 08:23 PM

.....Hope the Slugs intend to get there before the 21st of December 2012. The Mayans have predicted that this date is "The End", Fin, Finished, Over, Finito, Done.......!

See Slug run, run Slug, run

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Becca72
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 01:01 PM

Hmmm...perhaps that was the plan all along, Alba. Slug revolution!

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 02:06 PM

According to some persons of my acquaintance, slugs have always been revolting.

Perhaps they're "brainwashed" in childhood, although it seems unlikely they'd have been "baptised in beer" like some other ...

John

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: artbrooks
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 03:01 PM

Uh...which Washington? The one with all the trees that produces folkies or the one with all the politicians that produce gas?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 03:40 PM

The federal government has announced it is abandoning plans to repel the slug invasion by creating two massive beer-based slug traps.

The original plan called for the diversion of the entire outputs of the Coors Brewery in Golden, Colorado and the Busch Brewery in St. Louis, Missouri into the Colorado and Mississippi Rivers, respectively.

Plans were scuttled after downstream states received an estimated 250,000 applications for permits to pump and bottle river water.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: jeffp
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 03:44 PM

Coors? Busch? I thought you said beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 04:03 PM

They should consider using large aircraft to "beer bomb" the slugs the same way they are used to water bomb wildfires.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 04:31 PM

Now slugs is bugs that nobody loves but
everybody understands
Cause they look disgusting, and they taste
disgusting
And they feel disgusting in your hands
But of all the little bugs that grow in the
garden
Slugs have a special place in my heart
And they never quit drinking once they start

So come on down, lets go out and have a slug
drowning party tonight
No they can't tell if they're floating in Gui-
ness or sinking in Miller Light
They ain't particular and they go no taste
And they'll drown in any beer in sight
So come on down, let's go out, and have a
slug drowning party tonight!
- From Dan MacArthur's 'Yucky Bugs'.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:32 AM

Ebbie? Why from here? What am I missing?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:38 AM

You're missing the fact that Washington will be inundated with infuriated slugs in 2012.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...(Slow News Day)
From: Severn
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 12:24 PM

Of course Coors and Busch! You don't use the GOOD beer to pour on slugs, or to cook crabs with for that matter!

Will there be a stop off on the way in Louisville to tour the bat factory? "Ashes to ashes and slime....." However that goes.....

Will they be dismissed as some sort of Escargot Cult?

Will others dare follow in the trail they blazed? Will we need snail polish remover to clean up afterwards?

Would calling them nudiabranchs make them more exotic or just inspire Born-Agains to file ordinances requiring them to wear shells?

As they enter town crossing the 14th Street Bridge, will they be singing,
"Lookin' for fun and feeling sluggish,
Ba, da da dah, dah dah, da dah, feelin' sluggish...."

Or are there any existing Slug protest/marching songs out there?
(The gauntlet has been thrown!)

Could the needed special crossing guards retire on the overtime pay?
(It should go smoothly, though, as a team of armidillos has been hired to teach them how to cross the road).

Which takes longer, a slug parade or a Robin Hood Ballad?



OK, BOYS! HEAD 'EM UP, MOO-OO-OO-OOVE 'EM OUT!

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: topical tom
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 05:24 PM

As they creep along are they all singing "Slip Sliding Away"?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 05:54 PM

I knew an Arab once who put a slug in a pay scale and silently stole a weigh.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Don Firth
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 06:15 PM

An equally awe-inspiring pilgrimage comes as a result of pollution of the oceans. It has been reported that there is a stampede of oysters from Puget Sound, Willapa Bay, and from various other locations around the coasts of the United States, all heading for Washington, D. C. Overland is, of course, impossible, so some are going around Cape Horn and another group is heading for the northern route through the Arctic Ocean. Estimated time of arrival in the nation's capital has not been calculated yet, but rumor has it that they are counting on the assistance of continental drift.

Oysters are filter-feeders, and it's really heart-rending to walk along the beach and hear all those tiny voices chorusing things like, "Oh, YUK!" and "PTUI!!"

An angry oyster is a fearsome thing!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 06:20 PM

I'm glad you have drawn people's attention to that, Don. It is indeed a looming crisis that everyone should be made acutely aware of.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Severn
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 07:24 PM

God speed them arsters on their pearl-less journey. They'll have probably changed sexes at least twice before they arrive.

Or you can tell them that stuff in the water isn't oil, but rather, BiValvoline and maybe they'll swallow it, filter it, believe it and stay home.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 03:25 AM

Maybe it's a general revolt of the critter people:

Alaska's only elephant heads to California

The elephant booked a flight though. Must be important.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 03:30 AM

Presumably on a Jumbo Jet...

(had to get that one in before Severn woke up...)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: skipy
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 08:52 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 09:24 AM

"Slug by slug, weed by weed..."

A true Washington slug.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Irene M
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 10:36 AM

Um. Slugs have their uses (feeding my frogs) but snails are way more aerodynamic.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 10:38 AM

Did you know you can cure most common skin ailments by immersing yourself for a half hour a day in a bathtub full of live slugs?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: TheSnail
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 11:14 AM

It's great for the slugs as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Irene M
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 11:36 AM

Can you imagine COLLECTING (and the retrieving and removing) a bath full of slugs. Talk about hearding cats...................

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 11:47 AM

Where did all the escargot
    Long time passing (a really, really long time)

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Pseudolus
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 12:28 PM

A guy is sitting at home and there's a knock on the door. He goes to the door and opens it up but no one is there. He looks down and there is a slug. He picks it up and throws it into the woods. Ten years later there's another knock at the door. The guy opens the door, looks down and sees the slug who says, "Hey, what the hell was that all about?!?!"

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 04:21 PM

LOL!

I love this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: skipy
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 07:09 PM

Bring back the whelks & the spatulas!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Nov 07 - 07:18 PM

Just think...if one could fill an entire olympic-sized swimming pool with live slugs! 50 or 100 people could cure their skin ailments simultaneously by jumping in and wallowing around in there for a half hour. I'm surprised no one has attempted to market this at the more prestigious health spas.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 01:07 PM

Ick..I think I'll just deal with my skin issues.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Irene M
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 01:05 PM

Someone, maybe Jasper Carrot, I'm not sure, told a story about a council workman turning round and stamping a snail to pulp.
When asked why, he said that it had been getting on his nerves, following him all day.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 02:39 PM

A slow snail, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: TheSnail
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 03:18 PM

I resemble that remark!

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Susan A-R
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 11:38 AM

My snails have not yet arrived

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 12:33 PM

Nor mine. But I'm sure they are on their way. Just like my date with Winona.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 05:11 PM

Irene - that was Max Boyce, the Welsh comedian/singer.

Jasper Carrot was the one blasting moles with a 12 bore shotgun.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 07:57 PM

Neil D.   aka guest

Please make a you tube version of your song so that the world may rejoice.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: TheSnail
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 09:34 PM

Susan A-R

My snails have not yet arrived

From Marseilles?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: GUEST,Bill the sound
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 08:29 PM

Irene M
That wasn't Jasper Carrot it was Max Boyce(But he may have pinched it off someone else)

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Rowan
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 10:58 PM

Make sure you're well amoured if a snail (or a slug) wants to make love with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: skipy
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 05:14 AM

This thread should be above the line, see:-
http://www.slugmag.com/
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 05:48 AM

Ever watched snails make love? It's incredibly sensual and not a little erotic... two snails in the mood sidle up to each other top to tail as it were (they're hermaphrodites, it doesn't matter who's on top) and each of them shoots a penile dart into the other, into   a vaginal opening that each develops, ready to receive the sperm. The whole process can take over an hour to slowly and delicately play out, until both snails are joined by these darts and they slake their lusts in a slimy, snaily orgy.

I could name several humans who would do well to emulate the time taken by the humble snail to copulate.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: TheSnail
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 06:26 AM

I didn't even notice you were watching.

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: topical tom
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 09:23 AM

Question: Do snails copulate in their houses or outside?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM

Depends on the weather, Tom. A warm summer night, a bottle of good wine, and who knows what will happen?

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 09:36 AM

Outside of course, how else did you think I'd spent a whole morning watching them?

When you come across a group of snails all stuck on each other's shells, they've done it for warmth and protection, not a mass orgy.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 04:23 PM

Thanks, Liz, for coming on cue; I'd hoped someone would know about snails.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Be mildly concerned...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 06:20 PM

Art - my snails are obviously a bit more spontaneous. My pair were at it in bright sunshine, on a Thursday morning, not even pausing for their 11.30 Diet Coke break...

LTS