Its only funny when...

Subject: Its only funny when...
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 04:01 PM

Its only funny when... the right person says it

for example if someone said "What's yer analysis?" its only funny if the person speaking is a urologist.

or

"But I have a reservation!"   its only funny if he is a Native American in full tribal garb.



I need lots of sayings like this for background joke dialog for a screenplay along 'Airplane' lines.

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 05:58 PM

"It's only funny when... the right person says it."

Well, technically this applies:

"Patty, I have to lay you or Jack off." Patty: "Can you jack off? I feel like shit today."

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 11:07 PM

"Scissors beats paper!"
(Winston Churchill to Adolf Hitler)

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 11:45 PM

It's only funny when you have a sense of humor!

(That's pretty much a parphrase of my own line: "If you don't have a sense of humor, it isn't funny."

I used it on stage for 35 years. Feel free to take it. that's what folk is all about anyhow.)

Art

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 04:39 AM

Cary Grant:
"Excuse me, madam, but I believe you're sitting on my penis."

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: The PA
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 06:09 AM

We had 3 visitors from South Africa I had to make coffee, when I repeated the order back luckily they saw the funny side - 'that one white and two blacks then'.

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: GUEST,BobL
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 08:04 AM

Mike Harding recalls, on one of his LPs, an occasion when he and his travelling companions were discussing the sort of food back home that they most missed. One bloke from Bradford observed "Ee, I couldn't half murder a bloody Indian", perhaps not the best choice of words seeing as they were on a reservation at the time...

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: MarkS
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 09:06 AM

Hotel clerk: "Welcome. Do you have reservations?"
Guest: "Yes, but I'll stay here anyway."

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Grab
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 09:15 AM

British hippie in New York: "Hey man, can I bum a fag?"

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Feb 08 - 08:50 PM

"Is this the way to Ware?"

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 12:05 AM

To Ware what?



A

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 08:04 AM

That Cary Grant thing cracked me up

umm how about George W...

Were in it, to win it (rt wing Applause)
We'll stand down, when they stand up,(less rt wing Applause)
I'm not a lame duck, I'm a game duck.(Cheney promptly shoots him in the face)

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Feb 08 - 10:01 AM

That's Bush using rhyming slang is it?

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 24 Feb 08 - 12:45 AM

"Have you got a map of Ware?"

"A map of where, dear?"

"Yes, that's right."

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: Melissa
Date: 24 Feb 08 - 01:49 AM

"I can trim your hair..just hop up on the table and lay real still" is probably only funny when an undertaker says it.

Subject: RE: Its only funny when...
From: autolycus
Date: 24 Feb 08 - 02:39 AM

"It's ok, I know all about it" is only funny because true when spoken by the Almighty.

   Ivot