BS: A thread for insulting each other

Subject: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM

A modest proposal.

Every now and then discussions and debates turn nasty here , and people start throwing insults at even other. This can derail interesting discussions,

My suggestion is that we have a dedicated thread reserved for this - so when a dispute gets nasty in that way, the people involved just move to it for the insulting and the recrimination. Meanwhile the discussion about the issues raised can carry on.

The idea being, you'd just start the post in the original thread with a link to the insults thread, indicating the identity (or pseudonym) of the intended party with whom you are engaged in combat. Then carry on with any actual arguments about the topic.

If we could do that I think it could improve the discussions. And the insults thread might be quite an entertaining place to visit, even for people who didn't feel inclined to contribute...

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:49 PM

Well, I think that's the most repugnant, most ignorant, most repulsive idea I've ever heard of. Only a truly perverted mind could even conceive of such a thing. Anyone who would think of it should be mercy killed in the most degrading way possible.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:52 PM

Trust a bloody Irishman to think this one up, sheesh!!

G


¦¬]

[That means I'm joking folks]

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:56 PM

Yes Rapaire. And how typically Irish to think that insults deserve a special thread. Although I also think you are being a bit of an old maid in your reaction to the suggestion. And a death threat? Even considering McGrath's nasty and hostile nature, that seems out of bounds, you murderous commie sympathizer.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM

HEY. YOU TWO. OVER TO THE POLITICALLY-INCORRECT THREAD. NOW!!!!


;-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:00 PM

Look at MacKenzie calling the kettle black. Brave talk for a kilt-wearing, haggis snapping, Prince Harry defender.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:05 PM

No bloody wonder you're lonesome, making remarks like that, you set of initials you!

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:10 PM

I rather thought we'd have a few pompous illiterates posturing around in here before long.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: skarpi
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:11 PM

defender ??? uhhh I think thats an Landrover type Ej :>)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Stringsinger
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:19 PM

I think it might be useful if the reposts were clever and funny. I think of Mark Twain or
Dave Barry here.

Most of the insults deteriorate to crude scatology, though. They are not funny or clever and render the "insulter" as being silly, stupid or foolish.

The idea of promoting aggressive behavior for it's own sake is not useful but if we have
a budding H.L. Mencken on the thread, then that becomes entertaining and not a total
waste of time. it would be nice to have the invective turned toward the invectee occasionally.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:20 PM

Alliterative postulators eh? Not one sensible person on the thread so far....and not surprising judging by the title and the initiator.
Crawl back into your lives you ignorant bunch of loonies.      








Hey I quite enjoyed that!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:24 PM

What a batch of contumacious, peripatetic, vacillating, pugnacious rapscallions!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:25 PM

Maybe when some pillock starts losing it on a thread they could be advised to take their tantrum and stick it. Stick it in this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: meself
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:34 PM

I'd like to take this excellent suggestion one step further. Perhaps we could compile an archive of ready insults, with numerical referents, to facilitate exchange of vitriol, and to save the time and energy involved in the reformulation of previously-employed insults. For instance, using the gems already uttered in this thread:

#1: that's the most repugnant, most ignorant, most repulsive idea I've ever heard of.

#2: Only a truly perverted mind could even conceive of such a thing.

#3: Anyone who would think of it should be mercy killed in the most degrading way possible.

#4: Trust a bloody Irishman to think this one up, sheesh!!

#5:   And how typically Irish ...

#6: you are being a bit of an old maid

#7: you murderous commie sympathizer

#8: Brave talk for a kilt-wearing, haggis snapping, Prince Harry defender

#9: No bloody wonder you're lonesome

#10: you set of initials you!

So, you will be able to say, for example, "#6&9", rather than, "you are being a bit of an old maid/No bloody wonder you're lonesome". Or "#8&5", rather than "Brave talk for a kilt-wearing, haggis snapping, Prince Harry defender/And how typically Irish ..."

Eventually, a search function could be added, such that if you type in a keyword such as 'Irish' or 'commie', a whole string of insults will appear, from which you can make a selection.

I thank you in advance for considering my suggestion. ( ... bloody wankers ...).

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:34 PM

Bill D, you are just a big-word-using insulter, calling us names as only a fancy, big-word guy would do!
and Stringsinger, stop criticizing our insults, unless you want to incur our rather feeble sarcasms yourself!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:37 PM

ALright, you two-bit watered-down prairie-dog-molesters. Just do as the Chief Banderlog says and save this thread for insults. If your gonna editorialize, put it in the Bill Buckley obituary thread, where it can join the other dead white guy thoughts.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:45 PM

Okay, but if any of you miserable gits gets serious and poi-sawn-all...there will be consequences!

katcringingasajoecloneatthepremiseofthisthread

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM

Oh, Kat, pull itt out of your nether passages and smell the daisies. Cringing at insults like these? They are dog-urine on the broad green pastures of true insult. As nothing. Why I could show you insults compared to which....oh, never mind.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:58 PM

"Ready insults"? - by number, like fast food? Couldn't we have an intermediate thread above the BS line for original insults...?

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bert
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:03 PM

Well meself! A number 2 to you too.

Hey, you know perhaps we could get Jeff to write some software to expand the numbers in line!!!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM

OH Yeah??????????????????

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John Hardly
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM

" A number 2 to you too."

That had no bite. You said it wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:21 PM

Some people just don't know how to deliver a good insult. Forty-'leven!!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Becca72
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:26 PM

Only a stupid git would think of a thread like this.

"your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:26 PM

For those who don't have the enumerated list handy, forty 'leven is "Errid khamara bish yareekha", a Chaldean insult.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:29 PM

Ha! Just the sort of pathetic drivel I might have expected from you. Humph! Utter codswallop and bilgeroar.

And where's your proof? Ha! Got you there, don't I? All these blithe and facile assertions on your part, all these pompous allegations and graceless recriminations, and not one shred of real proof to back them up. Well, I suppose actual research and documentation is simply too much to ask for someone like you who engages in nothing but empty innuendo and ad hominem attacks. Just more blather from Smears 'r Us, I see. Tut, tut. Just what I might have expected from a mental lightweight such as yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:31 PM

Forty-'leventy-one is "Thou gleeking pottle-deep horn-beast!"

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:31 PM

To Ur is human, to forgive Amos is a superhuman effort, and not worth one iota of anybody's energy.
He's a man who took longer to build a water feature in his back yard, that it too the Egyptians to build the pyramids.

Nyah nyah nyah.

G,

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,Windsor Knot
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:33 PM

I don´t think we need a thread for insulting eachother McGrath, I think one to help those who do it without being aware of it might help. Sort of thing were you tell a close friend they smell of sweat.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 02:44 PM

Historigraphilly speaking, there is absolutely no original source material or validatable data in the public sector reference material to justify such a peck of crap.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM

I am wholeheartedly against have such a thread. I would, indeed, have to spend my whole day here responding to it.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:04 PM

Historigraphilly ?????


Art you spelling is crap.


Your friend

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bert
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:04 PM

..Sort of thing were you tell a close friend they smell of sweat...

Your breath smells, your feet stink and you don't love Jesus!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:05 PM

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're upside down.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:17 PM

Mercy Maude, drat, and leapin' lizards!

Just shows that you can lead a horse to water but you can't grow moss on its back.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM

Yeah - a flaming Aussie.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM

Depends, Charley. If the horse died of thirst, chances are you could gross moss on it.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: kendall
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:29 PM

What sort of puling Cockney blipe would start such a mindless puddle of jaundiced buzzard puke?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:45 PM

Oh, Kendall, it's just your menopause talkin', you know...



A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 03:52 PM

Bill D...I believe you were inebriated with the exuberance of your own verbosity and as for the rest of you..do you insinuate that I should tolerate such diabolic incongruence from such microscopic pieces of animosity as yourselves? Your presumptions are inevitably incorrect!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:07 PM

Whit a cassie fu o carnaptious ill nattered scunners. Ya bunch o nippy sweeties yev got a face like the back end o a hurlie

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:10 PM

Believe it folks believe, cos if anybody knows about ugly it's Megan, She has a mirror at home you know, a specailly strengthened one of course.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:18 PM

Diny gie me yer havers MacKenzie ya bam. Last time a saw a dial like yours it wis on the chorus and verse o a cuddie

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:23 PM

LOL!

Herga Kitty, don't you mean "traditional?" There are only a handful of them on here who are old enough to know anything about ANY "originals" and they are so old they probably can't remember, anyway.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:27 PM

Och lassie an auld pudden' faced nyaff like yersel wid gie the back end o' a Heilan' flitting a run fur it's bawbee.
Ah widnae rax fornense ye we ma een open fur a haundfu' o' gowd sovereigns.
Ye'd gar Auld Nick himsel tae grue an' tae greet.

Love

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:28 PM

Oh my! It's the antithesis of Burns & Allen. Not to insult the rest of you, but, watch and learn. If you don't know what I am talking about, I hope you soon will. It's pure art.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:30 PM

You're all a rabble of clapp'd out, poxy-faced, lily-livered, chicken molesters. Why, there isn't one of you who could even hold a burnt paper match, much less a candle, to C-G Smyte-Withers of the Idaho Legion! Now, she's one in a billion with language, you bilious bunch of bilge suckers!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:33 PM

Yer a knotless thried ya erselinstwirnie faced gappus. Ye did aw yer coortin up a dark close wie a pokie ower yer hied

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:37 PM

Whist hen, if ye wis the last wummen left oan Jock Thamson's roond earth, ah widnae be in the least surprised.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: kendall
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:47 PM

I know insults that would never pass for humor here.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:48 PM

Yer jist an aikel on the hin end o me grannys auldest coo

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:50 PM

Ah thocht ye wis ma Granny's auldest coo?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:51 PM

Scunner

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:53 PM

Georgiansilver...the paucity of relevance in your egregious characterization of my gratuitously randomized elucidation of the disreputable nature of the paradigms displayed by the average participant in this exercise leads me to remorselessly relegate your opinion to lexicographical limbo!



(ha! And the spell checker didn't beep once!)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:55 PM

On reading this thread from start to this far, I can quite honestly say I love nothing better than a thread for such writers....nothing is much more preferable!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:03 PM

Brilliantly put, BillD! Man, I wish someone would say that to George Bush. The poor man would be confused and disoriented for days afterward.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:10 PM

For sooth.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:10 PM

naahhhh..he'd be confusilated and disorientated.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Slag
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:10 PM

GS, as the Wizard told the Tinman "You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous JUNK!" and spell check had NOT the word "caliginous". why can't the "Spellcheck" use the OED?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:01 PM

I think you are misunderestimating him, fellas. He once drove a lexis, remember...


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Slag
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:04 PM

No, it was a '92 Caliginous.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:11 PM

Found a neat insult for anyone who wants to be insulted: Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:15 PM

Atque memento, nulli adsunt Romanorum qui locutionem tuam corrigant.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:18 PM

I don't look good naked anymore
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself
Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else
I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door
I just don't look good naked anymore

So, I'm goin' upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror
to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall
I'd stand there and smile, and strut and flex until
my arms got sore
But I just don't look good naked anymore

Well, I used to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all
Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall

Well, I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam
Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said "MAN"
I said "What is it Doc, some fatal disease,
I just gotta know the score"
He said "No, you just don't look good naked anymore

Well, me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique
Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek

Well, I went to a nudie beach to have some seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin' up the sun
Somebody yelled, "Hey, there's an old white whale
washed up on the shore
I just don't look good naked anymore

Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a-draggin' the floor
An' I just don't look good naked anymore

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: bobad
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 07:22 PM

Here's one for Rap: "Ista libraria odet malissimum! Estne libri decadentes aut patrones?"

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:02 PM

Back atcha, Bodad:

Þú hafa eini tveir bók, og báðir hafa allur fagur Kölnarvatn.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:10 PM

"I thought I was somebody else"

Sounds like you was me, by the description.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:15 PM

My apologies to y'all. That song lyric was s'posed to go on another thread. Now I've found the song, perhaps I can go to the correct thread and do it right this time. It was written by Shep Woolley.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM

The child that is not clean and neat,
With lots of toys and things to eat,
He is a naughty child, I'm sureÑ
Or else his dear papa is poor.


R. L. Stevenson

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: kendall
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:53 PM

I am working on a new CD, and it is made up of old field recordings that I made before I lost my voice. "I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore" will be on it.

I was told that it was written by SHEB Wooley, not Shep Wooley. Who knows the truth?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:55 PM

I do, Kendall, but I can't tell you or I'd have to kill myself.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:57 PM

Sheb...indeed. Google is your friend.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:42 PM

Gnu, the fleas of a thousand diseased camels refused to infest your scrofulous scrotum.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:13 AM

Art, I've heard that your gear was so bad even the slicky boys wouldn't have it.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:35 AM

Amos, you make the worst damn Diet Coke 'n Bailey's Cocktail I've ever had, and I mean it.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:25 AM

He also can't mix 30 year old Macallam's with diet Coke well, even though it's his favorite drink.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:28 AM

Leej, that's not an insult, it's a fact!! Rapaire's is not. I would never do such a thing to good Scotch. Just ask Giok. So seventy-twelve to you, sir.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: artbrooks
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:30 AM

You betcha, Rap...after my jeep drove past Slicky Boy Corner in Munsan-ni, I found an extra field jacket and a clean entrenching tool in the trailer. On the other hand, I heard that your records were so bad that the IG set up an office in the next hootch.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM

May your ear holes turn to arse holes, and shite run down your neck.

or


May your balls turn square, fester at the corners, and break out under your armpits.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:49 AM

...and ther sewers of Rangoon back up into your breakfast cereal.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:53 AM

"May your ear holes turn to arse holes, and shite run down your neck.

or


May your balls turn square, fester at the corners, and break out under your armpits."

Don't hold back, Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:55 AM

"1.I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore

SHEB WOOLEY & DICK FELLER
CHANNEL MUSIC CO-ASCAP and CORDIAL MUSIC -BMI"

Dang. All's I'm doing is apologizing. Have a great day, y'all.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:06 AM

Peace beat me to adding a musical note to this thread. I post this with the caution--insult all you want, but don't start cursing each other!

From the DT:

Nell Flaherty's Drake

Oh, my name it is Neil, quite candid I tell,
And I lived in Clonmell, which I'll never deny,
I had a large drake, and the truth for to speak,
My grandmother left me, and she going to die;
He was wholesome and sound; he weighed twenty pound,
And the universe 'round I would rove for his sake.
Bad luck to the robber, be he drunk or sober,
That murdered Nell Flaherty's beautiful drake.
His neck it was green, he was rare to be seen,
He was fit for a Queen of the highest degree,
His body so white, it would give you delight,
He was fat, plump and heavy, and brisk as a bee;
My dear little fellow, his legs, they were yellow,
He would fly like a swallow, and swim like a hake.
Until some wicked savage, to grease his white cabbage,
He murdered Nell Flaherty's beautiful drake.

May his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt,
May a ghost always haunt him in the dead of the night,
May his hen never lay, may his ass never bray,
May his coat fly away like an old paper kite;
May the lice and the fleas the wretch ever tease,
May the pinching north breeze make him tremble and shake,
May a four-year-old bug build a nest in the Iug,
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty's Drake.
May his cock never crow, may his bellows ne'er blow,
And a-pot or po, may he never have one,
May his cradle not rock, may his box have no lock,
May his wife have no smock to shield her back bone,
May his duck never quack, and his goose turn quite black
And pull down the turf with his long yellow beak.
May scurvy and itch, not depart from the breech,
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty's Drake.

May his pipe never smoke, may his teapot be broke,
And to add to the joke may his kettle not boil,
May he lay in the bed 'till the moment he's dead
May he always be fed on lob-scouse and fish oil,
May he swell with the gout, may his grinders fall out,
May he roar, bawl and shout, with the horrid toothache.
May his temples wear horns, and all his toes corns,
The monster that murdered NeII Flaherty's drake.
May his spade never dig, may his sow never pig,
Every nit on his head be as large as a snall,
May his house have no thatch and his door have no latch,
Nay his turkey not hatch, may the rats eat his meal,
May every old fairy fiom Cork to Dunleary,
Dip him in snug and easy in some pond or lake,
Where the eel and the trout may slime in the snout,
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty's Drake.

May his dog yelp and growl with hunger and cold,
May his wife always scold 'till his brain goes astray,
May the curse of each hag, that e'er carried a bag,
Alight on his nag till his beard it turns grey,
May monkeys still bite him, and man-apes affright him,
And everyone slight him asleep or awake,
May weasels still gnaw him, and jackdaws still claw him,
The monster that murdered Nell Flaherty's Drake.
Then all the good news l have to diffuse,
'Tis for Peter Hughes, and blind Peter McFree,
There's big nosed Bob Manson, and buck-toothed Ned Hanson,
Each man has a grandson of my darling Drake,
My bird he had dozens of nephews and cousins,
And one I must get or my heart it will break,
To keep my mind easy or else l'll run crazy,
So this ends the song of Nell Flaherty's Drake.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:37 AM

You can all shit in one hand and clap it to.

That the Hag of Hell and her nine blind bastards may chase you so far across the hills of perdition that the Lord himself would have to use radar to find you.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:48 AM

My daughter says she loves her boyfriend because he's strong and funny. I told her, "Honey, smell ain't everything."

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:59 AM

"You are all nearly as socialist and/or absorbed in active causes as Pete Seegar."

Jeez, you say that as if it were a bad thing.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:27 AM

WEho is Pete Seegar?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Alice
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:38 AM

There is a very old thread on mudcat that links to an insult generator.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 11:53 AM

An extension of Nell Flaherty's curses, writtwen for a song challenge concerning a dead chicken:

"May his laws never pass, may the frost nip his ass,
In drastic depression may his businesses fail,
May his drafts always bounce, may his cats never pounce,
May the Council reject him and clap him in gaol!

May busloads of trippers, with mama's and nippers,
Come trample his dahlias , make his pacemaker click,
May a foreclosure lease cause the rapid decease
Of the monster who murdered my beautiful chick!

May his pecker stay limp and his wife be a blimp
And his son be a wimp with a cross-threaded dick
May his Sundays be stormy and overdraft warnings
Stack up on his doorstep in piles deep and thick.

May the tourist-trade swells with their antiquéd bells
Harass him to hell with a suit for lost trade
May his house lose its power, his watch lose an hour,.
His daughter her flower an' his soul lose its shade!

May his landlord be snide, and likewise his bride
And his best hand-grown roses blow up and away;
May his checks be rejected, his phone disconnected
And his dam'd PDA start to write en Francais

May his groin spring a sprain, may his picnics all rain
May his guilt like a lance burn a hole in his head
May he spavine his back and be tortured and racked
By hemorrhoid pain, as he lies in his bed

May his friends borrow money, his jokes not be funny,
HIs dog turn a traitor and leave him alone,
May his appetite jade and his draperies fade,
May his wife turn to ice and his mistress to stone!

Now, I'm done with my cursin, for I'm not a hard person
And I've always believed we should live and let live,
And things are much brighter since the damned underwriter
Agreed to the sum the insurance should give.
..."

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:05 PM

If that is yours, Amos, I will have to be off-topic for the thread and offer my most sincere congratulations!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Jim Lad
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:13 PM

Good call MOH, although the worst offenders haven't really shown their faces here.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:38 PM

Why, thanks, Bill. One of many I wrote under the enthralling spell of the long absent Gaeilic Goddess, when she ran the Song Challenges with a velvet hand.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM

Why do I not see Ron Davies here? He has a gift for snide condescension and superficially polite but vicious forays in personal character assassination that is just awesome. Why has he not gifted us with a demonstration of same on this thread?

Oh, I know why. It's not a political thread. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:19 PM

May the lice of a thousand camels infest your beard.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:23 PM

Why "a thousand"? One camel's lice would be entirely sufficient to totally infest anyone's beard. Do you have any idea how many lice can live on a single camel???

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:24 PM

"Credit" for this goes to a college roommate 40 years ago:
"May a herd of a thousand camels urinate in the womb of your beloved on the night of your bethothal."

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:25 PM

623,492 would be the average, according to Prof Wahsin Tasmini of the University of Cairo.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:26 PM

What a nasty fellow!

Someone like that deserves to be forced to room in college residence with the 1960s version of Jerry Lewis for an entire semester.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:27 PM

Right, LEJ. And that, in my opinion, is a sufficient number of lice.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:28 PM

100!

You're all arrant fools! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:30 PM

May the lice of a single camel (or a married one for that matter) infest the beard of your girlfriend.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:35 PM

Your girlfriend has everything a man could want.....................





........hairy legs, hairy chest, moustache...shall I go on!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:45 PM

"You're all arrant fools! ;-)"......Little Hawk

Yeah Hawk...And you're a fockin' shit for brains broke-dick Mamalucca with less gray matter than pissant.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:48 PM

Mallacht Chromell ort !

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:48 PM

Go ndéanfar sconna de do thóin fút

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 01:49 PM

Clúid ar do phoil

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 02:27 PM

LIttle Hawk,

Ta soeur pisse bleue, et tu doit te tinter la-dedans.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 02:49 PM

Ah, yuh muddah wears army boots!
                                           --Old Brooklynese insult
Or

May wild asses defile the grave of your maternal grandmother!
                                           --Old Arab curse
Or

May you have a hundred mansions
And may each mansion have one hundred bedrooms
And may each bedroom contain one hundred beds
And may insomnia keep you bouncing from bed to bed all night long!
                                           --Old Jewish curse
Or

Wh-wh-wh-wh-when I d-d-d-d-die, I'm g-g-g-going to-to-to w-w-will y-you m-m-my m-m-m-mouth!!
                                          --Old Jewish threat

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 03:05 PM

Art, in all truth -- I conducted the IG inspections. Also CMMI, AGI, and Congressional Inquiries.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 03:14 PM

You want traditional?

Scratching could not make it worse, such a face as yours!

Thou smelst like a mountain goat!

Thou mealy-mouthed puke stocking!


Good old Shakespeare - a saying for everything.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:07 PM

Amos, je pense que vous êtes un homme idiot. Je pense également que vous avez un homme besoin d'un certain traitement spécial. Ainsi, j'enverrai Chongo à l'entretien vous. J'espère qu'il pourra vous instruire dans les principes de la courtoisie commune, après qu'il morde outre de votre nez.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:07 PM

Seems I remember way back in the 1970's an international publication called THE INSULT DICTIONARY: how to insult people in four languages. It's companion publication, whose title I don't recall, offered dialogue for making love to people in four languages. Very useful publications for anyone going abroad.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:13 PM

Verele sage na morana del fergo a selan sole. Il nolo se quarde del aportera.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:14 PM

Ah, international THE INSULT DICTIONARY is still available on Amazon and it's actually in five languages: English, French, German, Italian, and Spanish.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:06 PM

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

I'm sorry, but I really don't care for your after shave. Oh, you're not wearing any....

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:03 PM

Insults can be a bit more subtle - like Bilbo's farewell sppech:

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:58 PM

I'm not enough of a mathematician to appreciate the sarcasm in that one, McG. Sounds like a compliment to me.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM

You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.

Take THAT!!!
love,
-Joe-

---

(I've known that insult for as long as I can remember. Where's it come from?)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:06 PM

It comes from Chester Barrington who was in Grade 5 and I was in Grade 2.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:06 PM

Je m'n fous do votre maitresse simaiane, M. Hack. C'est un espece de queer.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Emma B
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:07 PM

Thou fusty elf-skinned hedge-pig! No one does it quite as well as the Bard

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:08 PM

Well, that Bard guy sounds lots like Shakespeare.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Emma B
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:12 PM

Peace, ye fat guts!

Taken from: Henry IV, part 1

nothing personal :)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Joe_F
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:25 PM

You're a wit and a half, you are.

If they cleaned all the dirt off you, there wouldn't be anything left but the shit from your guts.

I don't need to know who you are; I know what you are.

If I tell the truth in this court, it will only be to show my contempt.

You deserve what liars have deserved since time immemorial: to be routinely insulted and routinely disbelieved.

You're a people person. You can't deal with anything that has no ass to kiss or throat to cut.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:03 PM

LH:

Th'art a mere mess of clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:16 PM

Trivial Americans go to Paris when they die.

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting; as a rule all you would see would be a couple of ...people, one of them standing, the other catching flies. Of course I do not really mean that he would be catching flies; I only mean that the usual operatic gestures which consist in reaching first one hand out into the air then the other might suggest the sport I speak of it the operator attended strictly to business...

I have sent Bliss word not to donate it to a charity (though it is a pity to fool away a chance to do a charity an ill turn), but to let me know when he has got his dose, because I've got another candidate for damnation. You just wait a couple of weeks & if you don't see the TypeWriter coming tilting along toward Cambridge with the raging hell of an unsatisfied appetite in its eye, I lose my guess.

[He] was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

When you want genuine music--music that will come right home to you like a bad quarter, suffuse your system like strychnine whisky, go right through you like Brandreth's pills, ramify your whole constitution like the measles, and break out on your hide like the pin-feather pimples on a picked goose,--when you want all this, just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!

--Folks, for great insults I give you one the best: Mark Twain.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:56 PM

Your all a bunch of Walmart shoppers.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 10:00 PM

Let us hear from Rustic Rebel, I pray!


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:40 AM

This seems to be the right thread for me to say this. In Jul 2005 I posted an anonymous message on mudcat, targeted at another member. I later contacted the person and apologised, and she was very gracious about it.

I would also like to apologise to mudcat members generally for the betrayal of trust.

freda

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:59 AM

If you said 'Penny for your thoughts' to him, you'd get change.

He is living proof that sperm donation is a grave mistake.

There isn't a village idiot in [insert approroate name of town, village, hamlet, etc.] - the locals take it in turns.

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:23 AM

No wonder you're an only child, nobody would touch your Mother twice.

For the fact that you are my child, I have only your Mother's word, and my own imagination.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:38 AM

He has a long career of bullying and grievances ahead of him.

If he were any stupider, he'd have to be watered once a week.

He was such a beautiful baby, puberty must have dealt him a very cruel blow.

Regretably, all the above could apply to people I work with....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 07:42 AM

You and me both, LtS

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:07 AM

When you were conceived the gene pool had already been drained.

Just a mass unrecombitant DNA....

Wow! Recessive mutations run in your family, huh?

Do you suppose that any of your children will not disappoint you?

He's a shining example of a truly successful failure.

She's a good idea searching for somewhere to fail.

You must be a space alien -- no human being could be both that ugly and that stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:45 AM

To everyone here, with the exception of the 3 or 4 who everyone knows...























...Republican!!!

And bite me!!!

There, that oughtta do it...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 10:07 AM

With a face like that the cows would rather milk themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 10:59 AM

How much do you charge to haunt a house ?

Were you born a pillock, or did you practice ?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:02 AM

You shape like my arsehole -

wrinkled, browned off and better out of sight.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:18 AM

freda, I think it may have gone over their heads, but thanks for your sincere posting...I know of a few others who could take a cue from your honesty and integrity!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:27 AM

Freda, next time don't stay away so long.
------------------




How can tell when you're dead? There's no brain function now.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:59 AM

Is that your mouth, or are you running it in for an idiot?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:19 PM

Wie a face like that you could get a job anywhere, chipperfield, cotterils, Barnums.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:27 PM

Does it make your skin crawl?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:41 PM

Gag me with a spoon you do.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:07 PM

I hereby declare all insulting remarks hitherto placed in the Mother of All BS Threads by myself to be included here by reference, and removed from the MOAB therewith. Researchers, please note. The actual text of thos einsults thus transferred by this fiat and decree may be found in earlier issues of the MOAB.



A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:08 PM

You have the right sort of face for radio, and a voice to die from.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:10 PM

Amos m'dear last time i saw that mutch hot air in wan place it wis powerin a bloon jings an here wis me thought we hidny met afore ;) heads for door

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:53 PM

Ach, Meg, me braw an' bonnie, had ye but doon yer haumwerk ye'd understand it all mich better. It's a muckle of bad remarks I've made, and that is the truth.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:01 PM

Why is everyone talking in tongues?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:05 PM

You're so worthless, a Shmoo wouldn't die for you.

(yeah, it dates me)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:07 PM

"You're so worthless, a Shmoo wouldn't die for you.

(yeah, it dates me) "

Does your wife know you're dating?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:40 PM

Yes, she read his palm!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 02:57 PM

My wife knows everything about me she needs to. ☺

and besides, I said IT dates ME.

Does your employer know that short sentences confuse you?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:32 PM

Mallacht Chromell ort!
Curse of Cromwell on you!

---

---

---

Go ndéanfar sconna de do thóin fút
literally may your arse turn into a water tap below you.

---

---

---

Clúid ar do phoil
may your ass being hair bound (leaving you unable to defecate)

---

---

---

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:41 PM

"Does your employer know that short sentences confuse you? "

That's not nice to say stuff like that about wearing shorts. I often wear shorts.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:42 PM

A pox on you all for thinking diffently from me. I haven't, of course, read this crummy thread.

   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:44 PM

Anything under 99 years hard labour, is too short for some people.
G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:44 PM

Now Ivor's on about epoxy.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:45 PM

Aww, just go glue yer lips shut!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 03:45 PM

Cyanoacrylate to you too mate.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:03 PM

That's right - pock on someone with half your inrelligence why don't you. (Shurely shome mishtake? ed.)

Ivor (who was going to bed,but this is more fun than fun, toying with this , for want of a better word, mustard)

Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:05 PM

If you think you're anything at all you're sadly, sadly, sad.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM

RAFLMHO.   not.

Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:18 PM

Ivor, you slimey malcontent, go to bed. Even though you probably snore like a wounded Cape Buffalo.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:22 PM

Quit your damned whining!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:25 PM

I vote we change the thread name to "A Thread for Insulting Ivor".

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:26 PM

Who?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM

Tzaltz vaksn viet tsibelin mitn kopf in drerd!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:38 PM

Drop your pants and as you point your nether region at someone simply say, "Here's a moon for the misbegotten!"

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:40 PM

Another quarter wit, and you'll be a half wit.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 07:41 PM

I refuse to engage in a battle of wis with an unarmed opponent....



A

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 07:43 PM

"battle of wis"

Pissin' contest?

(Sorry, buddy, too good to let go.)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:06 PM

Did your parents have any children that lived?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Gurney
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:06 PM

I'm much, much too nice to join in this thread!

Besides, there's not one of you worth the price of the powder to blow you to hell.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 09:20 PM

Posterity will ne'er survey
A nobler grave than this:
Here lies the bones of Castlereigh:
Stop, traveler, ----
(Byron)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 10:18 PM

When you're dead and 'neath the sod
And your soul in not entwined with God,
A thousand goats will find it bliss
To wash away your grave with p....

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:43 AM

You lot would start to get a tad funny AFTER I'd gone to bed - cowards

   snorin' buffalo

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: freda underhill
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 03:29 AM

Ivor, these drongos wouldn't know a good insult if it bit them on the outside track. If you're horizontally persuaded, let them think you're dead as a maggot, these legitimate exquisites wouldn't know if you'd hit the sack or had a Jungian invasion.

freda

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:05 AM

May thirteen chemists' shops be emptied for you.

May you die roaring without a priest (that one is from my maternal grandmother).

I hope your arsehole heals up.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 07:03 AM

May you be compelled to run in ever decreasing circles until you vanish up your own ....
You fat, ugly wart, you great spawny eyed, parrot faced wazzock. (Thanks to Tony Capstick for that)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 08:33 AM

Poxy lickspittle, green-gilled, with a tongue browned from pleasuring your betters!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 08:38 AM

Here's a classic from when Jack London was working with the International Workers of the World:

By Jack London (1876-1916)

The Scab

After God had finished the rattlesnake, the toad, and the vampire, he had some awful substance left with which he made a scab. A scab is a two-legged animal with a corkscrew soul, a water brain, a combination backbone of jelly and glue.

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles. When a scab comes down the street, men turn their backs and angels weep in heaven, and the devil shuts the gates of hell to keep him out. No man (or woman) has a right to scab so long as there is a pool of water to drown his carcass in, or a rope long enough to hang his body with.
Judas was a gentleman compared with a scab. For betraying his master, he had character enough to hang himself. A scab has not. Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage. Judas sold his Savior for thirty pieces of silver. Benedict Arnold sold his country for a promise of a commission in the British army.

The scab sells his birthright, country, his wife, his children and his fellowmen for an unfulfilled promise from his employer. Esau was a traitor to himself; Judas was a traitor to his God; Benedict Arnold was a traitor to his country.

A scab is a traitor to his God, his country, his family and his class.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: MaineDog
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 09:03 AM

Go Thou and Insult Thyself

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,Beetle Bailey
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 10:09 AM

I hear the County had to forcibly sterilize your little sister.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 10:10 AM

May you die screaming.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,Peeler
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 10:11 AM

Having seen what Kershaw got for 2 insulting texts and 2 insulting voicemails (6 months), there must be some here that will be up for a 30 year stretch when the Isle of Man courts give this place the once-over.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 10:57 AM

I will kick your arse so hard it will end up square. You may then shit bricks, build a wall and hide behind it.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 11:52 AM

Youse are all FLIPPED, eh? I flippin' pity youse cos ya have to see yer flippin' stoopid faces in the flippin' mirrer every morning! Ha! Ha! Youse are totally flippin' pathettic. If youse were my dog I would have to flippin' put you down. It would be a flippin' mercy killing, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:06 PM

When Lady Astor insulted Sir Winston Churchill by telling him "Mr Churchill, if you were my husband I would poison your drink"....he replied with "Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it"!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:09 PM

"You are drunk."

Yes, madam, and you are ugly. But tomorrow I'll be sober."

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: bobad
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:14 PM

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a
friend...if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one."
- Winston Churchill, in reply

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:24 PM

Man, what a gift that man had for the verbal shaft!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:35 PM

You will either die on the gallows or of a loathsome disease.
- - - John Montague (to John Wilkes)
That depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.
- - - John Wilkes, in reply

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:37 PM

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.
- - - Jim Hightower, 1988

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:39 PM

I take it I'm the only one to spot that this is not the thread McGrath had in mind originally. However, since i have contributed - Ivor, you're a twit.

I thang yow.

Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:40 PM

While you live every breath you take pollutes the air and every step you take causes pestilence and death. When you die your foul and stinking corpse will be thrown into the Sun as the Earth cleanses itself of any memory that such as you every existed.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:44 PM

May you grow like an onion, with your head hanging in hell..

---

The posts to this thread are the best argument I have ever seen for forced sterilization. You folks should not be allowed to procreate....

***chuckle***

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:48 PM

May the smell of your corpse be as a fragrance against the stink of your presence here!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM

May you come back to haunt yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM

200

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:54 PM

Peace...I believe the "You are drunk" quote was Noel Coward and his cleaning lady, am I right?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 01:55 PM

I understood it was Churchill and Lady Astor. However, I might be wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 03:27 PM

If you want to know what it's like to live without hope, ask your underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 03:29 PM

"You folks should not be allowed to procreate...."

Mick, you are so right! I realized that about myself at an early age and have managed, by careful pre-emptive policy, not to procreate thus far. Since I am now approaching my 60th birthday, I think the world is fairly safe from having any of my progeny inflicted upon it. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 03:57 PM

J. Strom Thurmond inflicted HIS at 80 or so....

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 04:00 PM

Yer Mither wis a hooer, an yer Faither wis in the Furrin Legion, yer sister is hauf Blackface sheep, an yer brither, gies rides oan Blackpool beach.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 05:21 PM

Why, Giok, all of that is true of my family! How did you know??

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 05:24 PM

Binoculars.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:10 PM

It's nice to have my family recognized!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:13 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Mr Red
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:21 PM

A nice idea for a thread and what I have seen is more complimentary that vituperation.

The real problem I have is not the twisted souls with some failing in the self image department - they are to be tolerated (but not silently) up to a point.

It is the people who have a vested financial interest in the outcome. The truth cannot be allowed out of it's darkened room to be aired for the benefit of those who might actually warm to what is a downside to others. So put on yer best invective and lie lie lie. But you ain't a folkie, you is a businessman. And what you peddle is entertainmen.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:25 PM

Waddaya doin', collectin' these so's ya kin write a book without thinkin' anything up yourself?

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:35 PM

Somebody told me today that this was one of the best, friendliest, and politest threads she'd seen on Mudcat in a long time.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:39 PM

Tell her for me that she is a bloody twit who should be euthanized...or sent to work at a Morris Dancing school in Wales!

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:41 PM

Fawk. Deplorable state of affairs.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 02:11 AM

You ignorant bunch of terradic spoddies! how could you let this thread almost disappear off the face of the 'Cat'? You are all parping goobeards, every one!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 04:36 AM

The only difference between you lot and a bucket of shite-

- is the bucket.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 07:50 AM

You use a bucket???????????????

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 06:24 AM

"The only difference between you lot and a bucket of shite-

- is the bucket"

You had a bucket???.........Ye rich bugger!

When I were a lad we 'ad ter go in us 'ands, then carry it twenty three miles ter be used as fertilizer on't Squires flower beds. And all that before school. Mind you, it did 'ave it's up side. Teacher weren't so keen on canin' us on't 'ands.

DT

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:13 AM

God, you only had to put it on the top?? WE had to crawl underneath to make sure it was evenly spread and work it into the thin places. And in addition to using our hands we had to carry a couple of more cupfuls in our mouths and more under our hats.

Wimpy wussies, the lot of ya.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:41 AM

Is that all Rapaire.....we also had two carry two one hundredweight sacks full on our backs and fill our shoes, socks and underwear!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:42 AM

She can't be two faced, surely she's wear the NICE one?

I'd like to insult you sir, but I'm afraid Mother Nature beat me to it.

G

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:42 AM

There is too much cr.. appearing on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: skarpi
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 10:21 AM

♫♪♫ the devil went down to the white house ♫♫♪
but is goin out again ♫♪


jibbbyyyyyy

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:14 PM

"we also had two carry two one hundredweight sacks full on our backs and fill our shoes, socks and underwear! "

Bloody rich kid, huh? At least you HAD shoes, socks and underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: autolycus
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:14 PM

i haven't seen one example yet of somebody's spleen (there's an opening for you) diverted from another thread yet.

You're all authorial illiterates.


   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:19 PM

Dang right, Peace. Bloody squires and pinky-lifting tea drinkers, the lot of 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:20 PM

LOL@Peace. Truth be told we were so poor as kids we had to paint our feet black with gloss paint so the other kids at school thought we were wearing shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:21 PM

And as for underwear...I didn't know what underwear was until I was 23.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:23 PM

That's pants

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:28 PM

Hell, I didn't get my first pair of pants until I got into the Army. Thought I was rich, having pants, boots, shirts, and all that sort of thing. And all I had to do was maybe get killed!

I faced THAT every day just going to school. You had to have a switch-blade knife just to enter kindergarten and to enter third grade you had to have a tattoo (mine was a flaming skull with the words "Dishonor Before Death" around it -- the tattoo artist was dyslexic) and a stable of a least six girls "working" for you. We used to steal hubcabs, just like everyone else, only we had to steal them off moving cars.

But I digress.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:30 PM

Yeah? Well, before we stole the hubcaps off the cars we had to steal the cars.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Peace
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:32 PM

(I'm guessing there is a statute of limitations on car theft, so now it's safe to say.) I didn't steal my first car until I was 11. They were easy to hotwire in those days. I would have NO idea how to do that to modern cars.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 01:32 PM

Yer aw as glaikit as the billy goat whit butted the log doon the well. Its rope wis still attatched tae the log.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 02:35 PM

Stealing a car was the final exam for first grade. If you got caught you had to repeat the year.

Unless you planned to enter the seminary (it was a Catholic school). Then you had to steal a bicycle.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Nick E
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 11:05 AM

Your father was a hampster and your mother semelled of elederberries... now go away or I will taunt you a second time you smelly English Kn-igit!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 11:08 AM

The breath from all of your orifices wafts the odor of vintage skatole wherever you go.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 12:52 PM

ooooh..them elederberries is stinky stuff! Made from Eledelweiss, I presume.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 02:45 PM

Your reasoning abilities are beneath the level of a garden slug. Your argumentation is puerile. Your attempts at "objectivity" are laughable. Your "logic" is faulty. Your pretensions of rationality are contemptible.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 02:51 PM

When God passed out brains you thought He said "Trains" and said "No, thinks, I don't need one."

                               (From the 7th grade)

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 03:08 PM

When God gave out chins, you thought he said Gin and ordered a double!

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 03:21 PM

Your entire life -- from the exact moment of your conception until your body finally dissolves into the elements from which it came -- is an open book. And it's really, really dull.

Subject: RE: BS: A thread for insulting each other
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Mar 08 - 03:25 PM

When God said noses, you thought he said roses, and asked for a big red one.