Nose hair!

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: The Shambles
Date: 24 May 99 - 01:49 PM

No not sex and reading.

In fact I was thinking about getting a T shirt printed for her, with the slogan. Make Tea, Not Love.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 24 May 99 - 04:46 AM

Jo, I wonder if yanking out nose hairs is more effective than cold showers to stop me fantasising about you dribbling over me? I'm just gonna have to try both ...

Steve (exCUse t he SHaaky tpyinng!)

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 24 May 99 - 02:37 AM

Shambles, what kinds of activities does your wife perform at the same time? Not sex and reading, I hope. --seed

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Jo Taylor
Date: 23 May 99 - 07:10 PM

Yeuch, nose hair!! Snot funny. Somehow, Steve, I thought I'd find you here... x
I always take care NOT to sit on the left of a fiddler - I get the bow up my nose (solving the itch problem but nevertheless somewhat inconvenient) whilst I dribble all over him/her. Not nice.
And now, ladies & gentlemen, an eighteenth century love song entitled: 'God Chose Her Face but she Picked Her Nose Herself...'

Jo

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: LEJ
Date: 22 May 99 - 02:25 PM

I once saw an add for a Rotary Nose Hair Clipper. The accompanying text said" DONT PULL NASAL HAIRS The rotary trimmer removes nose hair safely and painlessly. Why take a chance on fatal infection?" Think about that one, next time you are thinking of foolishly yanking a nose hair.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 22 May 99 - 11:38 AM

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this thread, I apologize. I can just see you all out there with wax packed noses, tuning pegs in nostrils, nose hair over your balding heads, etc.

You simply need to look to science for the answer. The hairs will only resonate if they are tuned to the same frequency as your fiddle. What ever you do - it's extremely important that you do not remove the hairs from the nose as they serve the vital function of preventing rosin from getting to the brain. Most of you know the ramifications of this.

Detuning the hairs will remedy this problem. Simply shorten them to make them vibrate at a higher frequency. An alternative would be to increase their weight by spraying nasal moisturizer up there. Another alternative would be to spray some type of hair set in the nose to make the hairs more ridged.

A rare but possible side effect could be heterodyning (usually not occurring if proper precautions are taken).

GOOD LUCK!

Cap't Bob

p.s. If the rosin has already reached the brain, just try to get used to the tickling.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Jeri
Date: 22 May 99 - 09:08 AM

Some people can hold entire conversations (as well as scratch, swat mosquitos and clog dance) while playing. I think you gotta get to the point where you can play by autopilot.

Mick, how come nobody told 'Paw he couldn't screw with you? Shoulda been in the Doc's orders - "No pole vaulting, sumo wrestling or screwing with Mick for at least 2 wks."

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: The Shambles
Date: 22 May 99 - 06:03 AM

Talk on what you can and can't do whilst performing made me think.

Is it just me? When I am playing at a session and it's usually a fast tune, when it happens, the person next to me starts a conversation or asks a question. I find it impossible to both things and either have to stop or continue playing, whilst attempting to look interested and not appear rude.

It may of course be my sex, as my wife has a theory that only women can do more than one thing at a time?

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 May 99 - 03:03 AM

So would that be the tops of his fingers or his palms? I mean like should we be speaking of palms here Mick, I'd need to ask what type of anasthesia he's been using on you. Or do you feel stimulated after a root canal? Just have a need to know, you know?

catspaw

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Big Mick
Date: 21 May 99 - 11:07 PM

OK.........OK, I won't screw with 'Paw. Damn it, the Cat goes through some little bit of problem and right away it is hands off. Your wish is my command fair one. It is great to have a few minutes, but after Tuesday, I will be back. And glad to be done with this one.

I know that this is about nose hair, but you know what I hate???.....................A dentist with hairy fingers!!!!

Mick

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: alison
Date: 21 May 99 - 10:52 PM

Hi Mick,

welcome back. I'd be happy to have you as my "scratcher," but I draw the line with you screwing with 'Paw.... LOL..

and of course you will only scratch the bits I ask you to, won't you?........

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Big Mick
Date: 21 May 99 - 10:36 PM

Fair Alison,

May I be the first to apply to be your "scatcher". Your spelling seems to be going to s**t. I wonder why? ****grin****

Big Mick, who is just about done with this god awful assignment and ready to get back to screwing with'Paw.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: LEJ
Date: 21 May 99 - 10:07 PM

LOL- NOW YOU'RE COOKIN!!!

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 May 99 - 09:49 PM

Herge my boy, I take your situation as very serious, but I think we're all attacking from the wrong side of things. Let's face it, as an old fart nose hair becomes a fact of life......go with the flow.

Grow the hell out of your nose hair and throw away the freakin' fiddle!!! How about I build you a nice maple and spruce box mounted on a harmonica holder with a 1/4 size fiddle neck attached. Grow the livin' shit out of your nose hair for a few weeks and then braid each nostril into a string pair. At first it may be easier to play in a 3-D dulcimer type tuning to eliminate gauging problems, but with a little more time, even that can be overcome through experimentation. I see great potential here. Fine tuners can be attached to each nostril (piercing is very popular nowadays) and prior to stringing up, run the hair/strings through a Nose Flute. Then you could play harmonies and counterpoints too !!! As a busker you'd be a phenom. And add a few castanets and jingles as a necklace, gotcha' a little rhythm section. WOW!!!!

Lemme know when you want to embark on this exciting venture and new career......Say, uh, Do you grow much ear hair???

catspaw

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: LEJ
Date: 21 May 99 - 09:47 PM

Alison...if that wasn't Big Mick's greatest set-up line, I never heard one! And the poor lad probably workin so hard he'll not even see it.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: alison
Date: 21 May 99 - 09:27 PM

Hi,

I would just like to thank you all (she said sarcastically). Last night I was playing my whistle (and accordian for that matter.. but not topless) at a bush dance..... half way through the first tune my nose started to itch...... and all I could think about this damn thread.... I like the idea of having a scatcher on stage, mind you I'd have to give them some sort of signal with my eyes, (can't yell and play whistle at the same time......)

so thanks again for the suggestions..........

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Bert
Date: 21 May 99 - 08:14 PM

Now that Catspaw is back with us, you can compare them to tiple players.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: LEJ
Date: 21 May 99 - 07:55 PM

That's quite an offer, Banj...let's see. I'm just afraid it'd interfere with my own pickin and scratchin, which is probably the same reason you don't want the job.

Oh, and I guess an apology is due. I'd like to say I'm sorry to all the pickers and scratchers that I offended by comparing them to banjo players. It was all meant in good fun.

LEJ

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Banjer
Date: 21 May 99 - 07:31 PM

Is there such thing as a "willing victim" of flute dribble?

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you should never pick your friends nose!

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: The Shambles
Date: 21 May 99 - 01:29 PM

At sessions I have sometimes been an unwilling victim of 'flute dribble', from the player next to me.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Fadac
Date: 21 May 99 - 01:07 PM

You can pick your banjo, You can pick your nose, Can you wipe your banjo on your pants? ---- Horn blowers have spit drains, Fiddlers should have snot wipers. ---- Just the thought of someone running from person to person on stage, scratching butts and wiping noses, has me ROFL. When not rubbing or scraching, they could be holding the beer bottle. Now a nice shot of Anchor Steam Beer in the middle of a good Sea Chanti. Hmmmmm.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Banjer
Date: 21 May 99 - 04:35 AM

Hell, Leeej, us banjer players need scratchin' too...(The pickin', [nose, ass, wherever] we can do for ourselves, sometimes, but it would be good to have an official picker/scratcher available. You busy this weekeend?

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 May 99 - 03:39 AM

That's it Andreas, every band ought to have a nose-n-butt scratcher...all in all it would be a lot less offensive than having a banjo player in the group.

LEJ

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: MudGuard
Date: 21 May 99 - 03:34 AM

I found another solution:
Some piano players have an assistant to turn the pages.
So why should a fiddler not have an assistant to scratch his/her nose, butt or any other itching part of the body?
Andreas

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Rasta
Date: 21 May 99 - 01:49 AM

stick a small piece of ice up your nose and leave it there as long as you can till its numb , then play your fiddle or drop a large chunk of concret on your foot and youll totally forget about your nose problems.--------just a little warped humor please dont take it as a dig --cheers--

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 21 May 99 - 12:31 AM

If I had got here about 20 posts ago, I'd have had something to say (something about coating the nose hairs with teflon--give them too much mass to vibrate, plus have the added benefit of making noseblowing more efficient), but almost everything possible has been already said (but why is it your nose that itches when your hands are trapped in another activity? It's my butt that itches (butt me no butts, shakespeare said to the goat). As for moustache hair in the harmonica, been there, done that, I stay away from both ends, now, both up and down and still some how, those harps' intrusions hurt, I vow; I really never liked this song. --seed

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Fadac
Date: 20 May 99 - 05:51 PM

EGADs! I'm glad I don't play by ear. Well perhaps a penny wistle. How do you play a fiddle by nose?

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: SeanM
Date: 20 May 99 - 04:56 PM

Try playing high C on the string then... it should not only vibrate the plug out, but cause your nose hairs to curl, solving both problems...

M

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Herge
Date: 20 May 99 - 04:39 PM

Now you've gone and done it - I put a peg up my nose to see if it would work - Now it won't come down!

Herge

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Les B
Date: 20 May 99 - 04:27 PM

Herge -- It's a frustrating problem, but not as bad as some. A friend of mine drools when he starts concentrating on playing a fiddle tune, and it ain't a pretty sight (or site) when the drool rolls down and puddles up in the rosin between the bridge and the neck. I have the odd problem that when I play in the key of E minor on the fiddle I get slightly nauseous, even though I really like the tune. It's some sort of sympathetic (or unsympathetic, or even pathetic) vibration I guess ?

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 99 - 03:57 PM

Herge,

It's very serious, when my hands are messy I usually keep something handy to scratch my nose with. I don't know what you can do about it when you're fiddling though.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Herge
Date: 20 May 99 - 03:02 PM

I have by now tried most of the suggestions and only when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror did I think - you folks arnt taking my ailment serious!

Herge

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Den
Date: 20 May 99 - 02:19 PM

You could make a minature bodhran and stuff it up your nostril. With those vibrating nose hairs you be your own rythmn section. I thought about the tuning pegs stuffed up the nose too but one good sneeze and you could put somebody's eye out in the front row. As harold was heard to say at the battle of Hastings, "watch where your pointing that bow or you'll have somebody's eye out."

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 99 - 01:40 PM

annap,

Thanks for the scientific proof. My theory was based on empirical data.

Art, I liked #1 the best.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: annamill
Date: 20 May 99 - 12:40 PM

Art, Can you come to one of my get-togethers, please? (see the "..festival..." thread). Kat too. What fun we'd have.

Annap

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 20 May 99 - 12:31 PM

GROANx10!! (Especially #9)

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 20 May 99 - 11:58 AM

Folks,

1) My uncle had a new outhouse built & my aunt went out as the first person to try it out. She came out o' there angry as hell but wouldn't say why. All she'd say was, "We aint payin' & aint sayin'". The builder checked the outhouse out from top to bottom. No Problems. He eventually stuck his head inside the seat hole and a beard hair got hung up in a "hairline crack" in the wood. (pun intended) He yelled, "OUCH" All my aunt said was, "Smarts, don't it!"

2) If you wrap a thin layer of sand paper around those fiddle pegs, one good twist would RRRRIIIIIPPPP all the offending nose hairs right out o' there. (Stopping the nose bleed on stage is yet another problem.)

3) You coulod always join the New Crust Nostrils...

4) Snot as bad as that sounds. (Their music wasn't either---but only by a hair.)pun intended

5) If you're bald just let them nose hairs grow and comb 'em back.

6) I found these suggestions and anecdotes in the strange writings of Nostrildamus !

7) Jew's Harp made my nose hairs itch like hell when they'd get hung up in the tongue of the instrument. My solution was to leave the instrument hanging from my nose while I went about finishing my set. Nobody ever mentioned it to me so I figured people just thought it was a new kind of piercing. Either that or "modern Art". (pun intended)

8) Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and there were six baby rabbits on my head walking backwards in formation. Bummed me out until I realized it was only a receeding hare line. By noon they'd eaten all of my remaining hair. It was either fence my head, become a skinhead or join the Chicago Bulls. Now I work for the Bulls. They hired me to be the ball!

9) Then I sang "Nobody Nose The Trouble I've Seen".

10) At that point somebody KNOCKED ON MY DOOR with a petition. Wanted me to sign if I was "pro-bosis". I told him that I was anti-bosis--and he sadly walked away. (pun intended)

Enough I suspect !

Art Thieme (Copyrighted)
2 can play that game Kat! ;-)

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: mountain tyme
Date: 20 May 99 - 11:36 AM

I use'ta jus put them chain saw ear plugs up my nose. Thet work'd ok. It stopped thet music viberation itch in my nose but all them viberations got bottle'd up inside me an made my arse itch. Now I jus put raisens up my nose an ta close thet show...I take em out an I eat'em! No body ever leaves early, they stay jus ta see it done! After thet I jus scratch some.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: annamill
Date: 20 May 99 - 11:13 AM

I absolutely, absolute, absolutely love you guys. What a bunch of nuts. I love you all. I haven't stopped laughing.

I just sat on my hands for 10 minutes to test the outcome of not being able to scratch. The test proved conclusively that not being able to scratch makes your nose itch.

You could try putting an extention of some sort on your bow. This will allow you to scratch your nose without having to stop playing. Now since you will be able to scratch, perhaps your nose won't itch so much.

Love, Annap

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Fadac
Date: 20 May 99 - 11:08 AM

Yes, topless accordion play, plays "Lady of Pain" LOL I have a pad on the back of my box. At least it dosn't steal my shirt buttons any more.

Ralph

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Margo
Date: 20 May 99 - 11:03 AM

I like Bill in Alabama's suggestion. Along those lines; when I was in music school, there was a violin player who used to fiddle behind his head.

Margarita

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:55 AM

I'll come and scratch 'em for you Alison

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: alison
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:43 AM

LOL

you get the same problem with boobs Fadac. hahahahaha

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Jon W.
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:30 AM

One word: ouch!

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Fadac
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:28 AM

Auch! Nose hair. Watch how much wax you put up there. I watched a guy do that, and his next set, he played a nose flute. Well there was a loud pop, and well, lets say it wasn't a preaty sight. (nose goo everwhere) Me, well I have a full beard, and play an accordion. Ever get your beard caught in the bellows...(Ouch!)

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:13 AM

You can change the resonant frequency easily with a file: making the hair thinner near the root lowers the pitch, while near the end raises it.

I have a prblem with my moustache when I play the harmonica: the whiskers get trapped between the reed plate and the side plate. I'm told it's very entertaining to watch ...

Steve

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Jeri
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:10 AM

If you're not dripping, sneezing, or otherwise getting precious bodily fluids all over your fiddle, it's probably not an allergy.

Simple suggestion to see if it's vibration caused by bone conduction: try putting a sponge wrapped in a towel between the chin rest and chin.

You could trim the nosehair as previously suggested, but then bugs would be able to fly up there. You could try putting something like Ambesol (numbing stuff for tooth pain) up your nose, but then you wouldn't be able to feel when it was leaking or when bugs flew up there.

Rick - violin tuning pegs are smaller than most people's nostrils unless you meant to put them in backwards, then they're too big. One of those nose plug thingies some swimmers use might work. Or a clothespin.

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:10 AM

vis a vis "the seven-year-itch"!

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: MMario
Date: 20 May 99 - 10:05 AM

I'd say Bert has the right of it...ain't nuthin' that'll cause an itch more then not bein' able ta skratch!

MMario

Subject: RE: Nose hair!
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 20 May 99 - 09:58 AM

Try placing the fiddle against the shoulder, as most of the old-timers do/did, instead of under the chin; then the vibrations affect the heart instead of nostril growth. Or, on the long up-strokes catch the nose with the bow hand. If all else fails, try Nair on a Q-tip.