BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride

Subject: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:05 PM

Yesterday evening I was in the air, flying back from Dublin to Chicago. As there was nothing much else to do in the Aer Lingus plane, I was watching the flight path and flight information on the little computer screen mounted in the seatback in front of me.

Suddenly I realized that the flight path would carry our plane RIGHT OVER Blind River, Ontario and that we were coming upon this Town Of Some Repute at 557 miles per hour. A flash of inspiration hit me: if the flight crew would cooperate, I could drop a present for "Shane" McBride!

I explained what I wanted to do, and the flight crew became quite excited by the idea. The co-pilot and several of the passengers with laptop computers calculated the drop point, taking into account the headwinds and stuff like that -- this was going to be a dead-on present drop.

What to drop was never in question. With a large selection of liquors and beers aboard for the passengers everyone agreed.

So, just after we crossed someplace called something like "Pushpatina Ridge" at 38,082 feet (and with the permission of the Canadian Air Defence Forces), the pilot dropped the contents of the lavatory holding tank. The CDF later told us that the Icey BM made a direct his in Don McBride's yard.

So..."Shane", this one's for you! That greenish-brownish-yellowish ice sculpture is my present to you. The green is the disinfectant solution, in case you were wondering -- Aer Lingus is, after all, an Irish air line. And there's lots of beer and stuff in there, too.

Glad to be able to do it for you, old buddy.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:21 PM

He's baaacck.........:?)

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:24 PM

Well, I certainly am back. "Shane" has never really been all there, if you take my meaning.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:53 PM

I intuit upcoming posts to this thread in which the term "flippin' bolt-hole" will figure prominently.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 11:21 PM

I don't suppose Shane understands the concept of "compost" along the lines of "if life hands you a lemon, make lemonade." He'd have a great crop of tomatoes this year if he did.

Never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:00 AM

YOU FLIPPIN' BOLTHOLE!!!!!!!!!

You ruint the flippin' gazeebo you idiot!!! I just sto...I mean I borrowed that gazeebo from the flippin' Zehr's store over in Sudbury and me and Don had flippin' set it all up in the flippin' backyard, eh? It took 3 flippin' HOURS and a lot of beer to do that. That was work, man! Work!

And you have flippin' RUINT IT!!!! It's a big stinky flippin' mess back there now!

You are gonna pay fer this, man. You shoulda flippin' stayed in flippin' Ireland a hole lot longer. You are gonna flippin' wisht you had not of done this or never even been BORN!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 08:52 AM

But "Shane" old buddy -- I didn't do it. Aer Lingus did it. Why are you angry with me? And it couldn't have been done at all without the agreement of the Defence Forces. All I wanted to do was give you a little souvenir of Ireland.

Your anger and resentment, your rejection of what was intended to be a nice present, has really hurt my feelings. I shall probably spend all day in a corner whimpering.







(Pretty good shootin' though, wasn't it?)

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 10:02 AM

Dale says that there free beer and stuff mighta got distroid if it haddna hit the Zeebo an sides that them there Zeebos is all over the place an gowan all the way ta Sudbury was a waist of time an gas. Him an Del just winched a wood one up on the float with the the skidder an waltsed it home on the way back from borrowin roadside. Nuthin to it. A course, it's soon gotta get painted on accounta the town had it all painted up fer The Bog Spruce & Blackfly Festival.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 11:52 AM

Is it a waste of gas if you didn't pay for the gas in the first place?

This is just a general sort of inquiry (or enquiry, as you prefer).

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM

Good flippin' point, Rapaire. ;-) Dale is right, those gazebos are all over the place. They're becoming as common as grass around here.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:51 PM

Dale says Zeebos is good fer ta have fer when its rainin on accounta since Daisy had the twins he can't have no grass in the house an the barn is where he stores the gas an some of the drums is leakin a bit. An he says its a buck a leeter so you do the figgerin an iffn ya want any its cash an cans only and come after dark eh.

Subject: RE: BS: A Present For 'Shane' McBride
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:59 PM

And remember not to light up, eh? I mean, while yer takin' delivery, eh?