BS: Smear a Llama Here

Subject: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: skipy
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:54 PM

Just for those among you that have problems with Llamas, you can talk about it here.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:59 PM

I've got a problem with a llama. Somehow this hussy has got it into her head that she and Kendall are soulmates and I'm not having any of that!

She sent scale models of herself and even a tee shirt with her photo on it. Well, Seamus put paid to one of the models and I think that the tee shirt is being used to clean out the oven on the rare occasions that gets done.

Hoity toity little madam! She threatened to spit in my eye if I don't leave and let her move in. I told her that she won't be able to see to spit - I have a crochet hook and I know how to use it!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: open mike
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:04 PM

i have problems with them when they spit at me...
especially if they have their mouth full of bits of hay
at the time...http://www.jaunted.com/files/3873/LlamaTeeth.jpg

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

http://www.frolic.org/

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: bankley
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:22 PM

thinly sliced on rye bread and mustard, and you have a Deli Llama

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:28 PM

Go and tell yo' mama
To call of her llama
Take him back to Chile
Way down south.

I don't think it's fittin'
For llamas to be spittin'
'Specially with hayseeds
in their mouth!

I don't need that beast here,
I don't need a priest here,
Call yo'mama, quick
As you can!

Take that furry camelid
Back to where his daddy did
ANd leave me here alone
With my man!!


(Fade out with a ragtime strum on a tenor banjo)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:50 PM

A wise llama never counts his teeth
Pakistani proverb

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:51 PM

The one-l lama,
He's a priest.
The two-l llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-l lllama.

        -- Ogden Nash

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:14 PM

"Smear a Llama Here"

OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:20 PM

I smeared a llama once and it spit right into my left shoe. Stupid llama.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:22 PM

Reminds me of something I heard way back.

"Camels have been domesticated for 5000 years and they still don't like people. Ya suppose they know something?"

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:25 PM

http://ceeburt.blogspot.com/2007/07/llama-fest.html


http://www.mwminillamas.com/MW%20Llamas%20Misc%20Photos%20Around%20the%20Farm.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:35 PM

From one of the sites Ed linked to.

What a beautiful face it has. Lovely azure/taupe colouring to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:41 PM

If you hit a llama with a semi-truck, you really smear it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:00 PM

I really have a problem with the critter's name. It's supposed to be pronounced "yama", right? So why doesn't it just call itself a "yama"? I mean what's with the "l"s? Ditch 'em and buy a friggin' "y"! Do they get some sadistic pleasure from hearing people mispronounce their name?

Sure, I know that "ll" is pronounced like "y" in Spanish, but ya know what? The only llama I know on a first-name basis lives in Indiana and her name is "Myrtle". No damned body in Spain, llama or otherwise, is named "Myrtle"! It's an American name and she's an American llama. If she and her fellow American llamas wanna be "yamas", then they need to learn to spell like Americans!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:24 PM

Como se llama, Senor?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Riginslinger
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:28 PM

A Dolly Llama? Can we clone him?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:40 PM

I did *not* have sex with...

...oh, nevermind...

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:59 PM

It depends upon what you mean by "llama", Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 10:11 PM

It depends on what he means by sex, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 10:38 PM

A three-el lllama is a giant conflagration.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Riginslinger
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:03 PM

And a four el is a lllamal!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:04 PM

With or without Night Visitors?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:06 PM

I get any night visitors and I'm likely to shoot 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:07 PM

The joys of a .357 !

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:25 PM

Yep. An' a thuty-thuty an' a 12 gauge an' a .38 an' a .45 an' a 20 gauge an' a thuty-ought-six an' a 7.65mm an' a coupla swords an' a bow an' arrows an' a nightstick an' a buncha .22s. An' that ain't countin' the muzzleloaders or my wife's shootin' ahrns.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:26 PM

Take the SOB by hand and you won't wake yer missus with the loud noise.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Micca
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 04:26 AM

Bee-dubya, if you think you have trouble with saying the word, think of the Welsh!!! They pronounce double ll as a sort of throat clearing noise!!so it would sorta sound like clama!!!with a lota phlegm on the c!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: *Laura*
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 06:26 AM

Ralph the Wonder Llama!! and 3600 Vietnamese Battery Llamas In drugs, sex and spider plant scandal!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 06:28 AM

Ram a llama, ding dong.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 07:16 AM

They do look like sheep, Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: kendall
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:04 AM

Jacqui, must you air the family's dirty linen in public?
Actually, when I married Jacqui I gave up LLamas, They are too high and...well too high. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:09 AM

Dial a Llama for Kendall.

G

"10 am: Tea & coffee on arrival with a chance to get to know your Llama*" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: bankley
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:12 AM

new mascot... the Obama llama.... spitting for the Dems.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:12 AM

The more I look at that site, the harder it is to find a single entendre!

"10:45: Head off."


G

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:20 AM

I can't access those sites at work.... wonder what that indicates....

There was a team of trained llama that did the credits for one of the Monty Python films... I think that's where Ralph the Wonder Llama got his first big break.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 09:24 AM

I've never really trusted a llama. Not since that party back when I was in college anyway.

It's a long and sordid story from the days when I pursued the pleasures of the flesh, the juice of the barley, and the blood of the grape instead of the pleasures of knowledge and the delights of the mind. Since all Mudcatters are celibate ascetics and have eschewed the baser pleasures I shan't tell it here lest passions become inflamed.

But take it from me, never trust a llama with your girlfriend.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 10:09 AM

THESE are the coming thing in "Wanna see what I got?" circles.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 11:12 AM

I don't want my flies trapped !
Got enough painful pictures in my mind from the 'Do you shave your sack' thread.


G

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 11:37 AM

Oh, never trust a llama with your girlfriend
No, never trust a llama with your girl
His equipment is much longer
Than your scrawny little donger
It'll make her scream and then make her toes curl

Yes, never trust a llama with your sweetie
No, never trust a llama with Sweet Nell
For his tongue it works much sweeter
Than your puny little peter
And it's guaranteed won't make her belly swell

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM

Gee, Bee-Dubya, that's swell.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

Sometimes I wonder about our American cousins... really I do!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Paul Burke
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:45 PM

Is the Daily Llama all he's cracked up to be though? I mean, all that reintarnation and mantra rays and all that. You can't trust a bloke that's had a previous life- he might know something about your grandmother. And what about the Dolly Llama, or the Dial-a-Llama?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Micca
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:51 PM

Giok, I think thats Charles I's schedule you published and not the llama's

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Les from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:01 PM

Who put the ram in the rama llama ding dong?

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Once said, 'There is something I do know:
A woman is fine         
And a sheep is divine,         
But a llama is Numero Uno!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:14 PM

So have i got this right?
A Rama is the mana. A sheepa is the womana and a llama is the babya........

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM

Liz, that's why you UK types call us "cousins" instead of "brothers and sisters". Sometimes you need all the distance you can claim.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:43 PM

Would you have preferred 'subjects' BWL ?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Def Shepard
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 02:16 PM

for our American cousins requiring sustenance they might want to stop off at The Deli Llama

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 02:35 PM

Kendall.... too high? Here ya go.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:07 PM

Good advice for those seriously considering acquiring a llama at the site below:

Only buy llamas for the use you intend

Hire, or find a llama person who knows llamas and have them locate the animal you desire

Llamas are a lot of fun, It may be free, but you will still have to feed it and care for it. Why own a pet you can't do anything with?

http://www.nas.com/~jnkllamas/llamainfo.htm