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BS: Sucky US Eldercare

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BS: Eldercare (53)
BS: Dementia tips for carers (46)
Help: Talking to Mom About Dad's Care $$ (40)


wysiwyg 11 Jun 08 - 11:08 AM
LilyFestre 11 Jun 08 - 12:04 PM
MMario 11 Jun 08 - 12:05 PM
wysiwyg 12 Jun 08 - 10:35 PM
Melissa 12 Jun 08 - 11:25 PM
Sandra in Sydney 13 Jun 08 - 05:20 AM
Naemanson 13 Jun 08 - 06:59 AM
GUEST,LTS pretending to work 13 Jun 08 - 07:05 AM
wysiwyg 13 Jun 08 - 08:56 AM
Melissa 13 Jun 08 - 02:55 PM
wysiwyg 13 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM
Melissa 13 Jun 08 - 03:43 PM
gnu 13 Jun 08 - 05:52 PM
wysiwyg 13 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM
wysiwyg 15 Jun 08 - 10:30 AM
Bobert 15 Jun 08 - 10:49 AM
wysiwyg 15 Jun 08 - 11:39 AM
Bobert 15 Jun 08 - 12:39 PM
wysiwyg 15 Jun 08 - 11:33 PM
wysiwyg 16 Jun 08 - 10:05 AM
wysiwyg 19 Jun 08 - 07:24 AM

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Subject: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 11:08 AM

Damn, damn, damn!

Today may be the day for our band's founder to leave his home and lose all property. There are upsides and downsides to it all, and of course I want him to be safe-- but it just SUCKS!

Sometimes I hate this country.

Oh pardon me, I'm venting. I'm taking him to the doc who will decide, a bit later. I'll be there as friend and "advocate."

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: LilyFestre
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 12:04 PM

Peace, love and good thoughts for Ed....always.

Michelle


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 12:05 PM

ditto.


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 10:35 PM

I left Ed happy and in good hands last night at a nursing home he likes a lot, while waiting for a bed (today was hoped) at the tiny community hospital he likes, so that they can do a round of tests, nail down why he's detiorating, and take some time to plan his next steps.

The hospitalization should qualify him for a 20-day convalescent stay back at the Home, and then he will either stay there happily or be released back to home care, but this time with the daily home health aides his wife had been seeing until her recent move to the same Home. I was able to convey some of the weird things that Ed has been spouting, to his doc, at yesterday's visit, and he was able to do a really good cognitive assessment. (That sure got HIM on board!) Ed's primary doc is a geriatric specialist; I like him a lot.

This evening we inventored all the hime meds, took his dormant car out for a spin, grabbed his cell phone, shut off his puder in case of lightning strikes, and secured all his instruments, songbooks and amps-- not because we worry that the kids will sell them but because he has been too frail for some time to carry his own gear into church whenever he's been well enough to come play with us. The plan to house them at the church was already in the works. When I get more info on the next weeks' plans I'll take his mandolin over to him so he can keep right on playing for the rest of the old folks as he loves to do. And I'll convey Mudcat's best wishes of course.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Melissa
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 11:25 PM

Same thing going on right now with my granny. She had been insistent on coming home and I was willing to go stay with her, but it turned out to be more than I could do alone with no sleep.

She's gone back to skilled care for now..don't know what's next, but her Allowed days are used up and CoPay begins either today or tomorrow. $128 per day.
She's my granny and she's worth whatever it costs, but none of us can afford to pay and in about a week, the farm is in peril..unless somebody in the family knows something I don't.

Hope the drs do well by Ed.
Good luck to him, you and whomever else is involved in the process.

Sorry for posting something that's of no interest to anyone but me, but thanks for the chance to air out a bit. It's a rough time no matter who it happens to.


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 05:20 AM

best wishes to you & your Granny, Melissa, also Susan & Ed

and the families concerned. what a system.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Naemanson
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 06:59 AM

I don't know about other states but in Maine the state will take the victim's, er, patient's, house to pay for elder care if it's needed. To prevent that my siblings and I took ownership of the house two years ago. If we have ownership for five years before they need to go into protective custody, er, a home, then the state cannot touch their belongings. It also allowed us to take over payments for things like heating oil, taxes, repairs, etc.

It HASN'T changed the nasty snickers from my parents when they look around at all the stuff they own and say, "When we're gone this is all yours!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:05 AM

It's not just the US, care for the elderly is sucky all over.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:56 AM

A nice thing happened later last night. We'd brought Ed's beat-up, caseless old mandolin home to take to him Monday. Hardi lovingly polished, tuned, string-oiled, and played it for awhile before bed, and then stowed it in a spare, lightweight mandolin case that will protect it around all the hard surfaces to come. It'll fit under a bed nicely too. We'll lable it of course. It will mean a lot to him when he sees it in there, to know where it came from, and that Hardi took so much time with it. Eventually his banjo will go to him as well. He'll have enough instruments to give lessons and organize jams, and this will really make him happy. Hell, he'll end up being the chaplain too.

I'd love to tuck in some cards or messages from Catters. Instead of printing the whole thread-- and it's fine that it discusses ANYone's elder care-- I'll just printing individual messages. Or PM me for a snail address-- rather not print color cards off puder from online cards.

Eldercare facilities now often have shared puders. Eventually I'll get him set up on email. :~)

Just so you all know (not crying wolf)-- it will be completely normal for him to bounce in and out of institutional care for several months. Hard to know now how far we are down that slippery slope, for now.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Melissa
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 02:55 PM

sorry for having chirped in...you could probably pull the Good Wishes for Ed out and print them as a word document or something.

sorry


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM

nONONO! yOU ARE more THAN WELCOME TO POST HERE. tHIS IS NOT A THREAD FOR JUST eD.

oops, damn capslock!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Melissa
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 03:43 PM

thanks anyway but I don't want to post here anymore..


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 05:52 PM

Thoughts and prayers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM

Of course it's insane because it's insane: the doc-- who sent Ed to a care facility "just for overnight" because he wanted him in hospital but the hoospital has no beds-- says now, while family is reeling under the load of the non-covered stay, that Ed doesn't need to be in hospital and is doing just fine at the Home.

I may pick him up tomorrow if family requests!

?!?!?!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 10:30 AM

A persistent habit of Ed's for years has been to call us up, "[Community Group] wants us to come play!" I mean, before either Hardi or I were anything like ready to play or sing for people, Ed would have gigs lined up at local churches, community events, senior centers, nursing homes-- ad infinitum. Of course that made us get ready and learn how to make set list, prep gigs, do quick sound for ourselves, etc.

So..... his adult kids are all out of town today (Father's Day), on previously-planned visits with their own kids....

So... our kids are all living out of town....

So... right about now the activities director, on duty today at the large facility where Ed's been getting his strength back, is telling Ed, "Mr. V, you have a gig today at 3:30, you better get ready!"

And right after the Home's church service we'll be setting up our stuff. He can do as much or as little as he's up to, but he will get a huge boost in the discharge plan we are working out with his kids, and that is to get him right back into the little gigs he thrives upon.

That means a whole lotta autoharp-totin' for me, cuz I'm his girl singer. Ed is a GREAT gig partner, so we know today will go great and gee, I guess I was looking for a summer activity in AC settings, so.... I guess I'm his girl. :~)

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 10:49 AM

Well, sucky eldercare ot not, Ed is sho nuff blessed to have you and Hardi in his life, WYSuzie...

The P-Vine's mom went into a very nice assisted care 4 years ago thinking that she had enough money to make it to the finish line but it didn't work out that way, she ran out of money last month and is now in a long term care facility that Medicare and her Social Security pays for... Not exactly the way it was planned but...

Anyway, you aqll gave a nice little jam today and I hope that Ed is up to workin' ya'all hard...

And, oh, BTW... I'm glad that it seems that he'll be able to return home... That's a blessing in itself...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:39 AM

Sorry to hear about P-Vine's mom. Is she near enough for Eve to see her?

The kids are trying to get him qualified for a second home visit each week, but Ed will really only be able to sustain home life if he has a lot of in-his-face visitors and invitations out to play. The goal of home care will have to be to get him in shape to go OUT of the home.

We're hoping people in the area who know him will join the "can you come play" movement. His driving is.... interesting.... and he really, really needs a partner to sing or play with. So, "What time can I pick you up?" will need to be part of it, for his safety. He can get up and down the road to fetch groceries and get to the local senior center, but any hilly driving with him for the last year has been way too scary. He's not good about where the lines are, anymore. But he still drives at 70 MPH. :~)

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 12:39 PM

I wouldn't ride with him if he was 30 if he drives on mountain roads at "70 MPH"... Geese Louise...

Yeah, the P-Vine's mom is about a 2 hour drive for us and right at $40 in gasoline... Not exactly convient... Plus, her mom wasn't able to bring but a little of her stuff which has depressed her... A the assisted care place she had an efficiency apartment with her own bed, TV, tables, dressers, etc... And she had her own chair!!! That was the big lose...

Is Ed's place large enough for a weekly pot-luck/jam session??? That would be purdy cool...

BTW, WYSuzie, I didn't mean in imply that Ed was the only one blessed in the deal... Sounds like a two way street... Other than riding with him, of course... lol...

B;~)


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:33 PM

Had a great time. More tomorrow.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 10:05 AM

Ed arrived a few minutes late to find us in full-force crowd patter as we set up gear, and was incorporated right into it. It pushed all the buttons I thought it would-- body language, skin color, muscle tone, pain level, all improved as he was wheeled up to our spot through the folks we were entertaining. We just shoved his mandolin into his hands, plunked his open music binder in front of him, and off we went just as if it were any other gig or Saturday Night.

For our most recent similar "gig," each of us would be flipping through songs and jokes to find the next one to take the lead on, as the other two of us did one. We repeated that structure this time and thus the fun never even paused for a moment. I also got the activities staff to hand around their box of rhythm instruments; man, did they shake!

After an intense and upbeat 45 minutes of Melody Lane hits punctuated by familiar, sweet hymns-- all of which the people sang with us-- and a couple of blues numbers and fiddle tunes from Hardi, we let them go on to their dinner prep. It's great to see the people who had been nearly motionless, with flat affect, depart joking and tapping their toes in their chairs. And it's always great to see Alzheimer's patients respond to old songs they can recall perfectly, and how the staff react to that.

Ed stayed to visit with us for just a few minutes, but by focusing as we had on "doing a gig," all the other concernes about what will be happening next vanished into insignificance. We just didn't go there, and neither did Ed or Edith.

The music did the job and set the boundaries where they belonged. There was just no need to deal with the rest, as has so often fallen to us to try to straighten out. (They and the kids will ask us to intervene in family plans, and then whatever we put together will fall apart, and it's so frustrating....) This way, we just stuck with our bond in music; that made SO much sense that we're going to try our best to stick with that as our primary relationship. For the rest, what will happen will happen, but it doesn't have to stop the music.

The activities person wanted to book us again, and I pointed out that Ed is there ALL the time, and that we had left his instruments, joke books, and songbooks there. She'll pick up the slack and make good use of him, I am sure, and we will go back-- but as his side-players.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Sucky US Eldercare
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Jun 08 - 07:24 AM

Ed's back home now and, I hope, looking for "gigs."

~Susan


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Mudcat time: 13 May 11:25 AM EDT

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