Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:31 AM

So sorry for your loss Mick. But it sounds like you know how to celibrate his life in proper style. Thanks for your stories. Share more when you can.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:54 AM

I can't add anything to what others have said

love to you & your family from sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:47 AM

Peace be with you and your family, Mick.

Your father raised a good man.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: jacqui.c
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:12 AM

((((((((((((((Mick & family)))))))))))))

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Morticia
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 06:34 AM

You and your family have my love and my fondest thoughts as always, Mick. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and he will live on through you and your music, what greater inheritance could there be?

love

Terri xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: ranger1
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 06:29 AM

Oh, Mick, I'm so sorry. (((Mick)))

Tami

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 05:50 AM

Thoughts and prayers buddy. And I echo the posts above.

Yer one of the good guys.

Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:56 AM

Glad you found the strength to endure such trials Mick.
Good to see you back.
keith.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: alanabit
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 03:26 AM

Glad to have you back Mick. I was outraged to read that after his "Medicare Part B" ran out, that he was simply abandoned by the system. That would not happen in any civilised country which I know. You have obviously spent your life fighting for the right things. Wish I could say more to help. Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 02:53 AM

The wonderful father raised a wonderful son, Mick. You are his legacy, and heck, what a legacy your dear Dad has left behind.

Much love to you and your family....your Mum and Dad, Ciara too.   

May you now, over the next months/years be able to rest, find peace and have loads of love and caring yourself.

With love,
Lizzie x



PS: *Write* the book, Mick, for your words have always moved me, sometimes to tears, and I'm sure I'm not alone. You have a natural Gift of Words, as well as Love.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 02:16 AM

Good to hear from you, and the biggest {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} ever.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 12:41 AM

Home again ...... at least that is what it feels like. As soon as I walk in the "door" to Mudcat, I feel like I am where I belong. I feel like I owe an update to you all, and I should explain my scarcity in these parts......

I sit here on the eve of my father's memorial service, which I will moderate, deliver the eulogy, and sing at. After an incredible fight, Da passed into the lonesome valley on April 13. I was standing at the top of the steps of the State Capitol at a giant rally in Lansing, Michigan. I was 2 minutes from starting an hour solo set for a crowd of 7,000+, when I got the word that he passed. It was a difficult set, especially when I came to MacColl's "My Old Man". I always have sung this in honor of my father. Let me tell you why.

I must have been about 14 or so. My father came home and called me over. He told me to shake his hand. "Son, an hour ago I shook hands with Jimmy Hoffa with that hand". "Great" sez I, "who's Jimmy Hoffa?" My father sat me down and told me all about the struggle for decent pension, health insurance, fair wages and working conditions. He hauled out his dues book and explained about what the dues were and what they paid for, and how that was why we could live decent. Later in that same year, on our way home from a fishing trip, my dad stopped for a beer, and I was over playing shuffleboard with my cousins. My dad was at the bar, and called me to him. He was arguing with the fella beside him. As I drew near, he grabbed me and said, "See this kid. He gets glasses when he needs them, goes to the dentist every six months, I make more money than you, have better benefits than you, got a decent pension plan, and if Jimmy Hoffa wants $2.00 more a month from me, he doesn't have to steal it, I will give it to him. Go on and play shuffleboard, Mick". And I scooted back to the game.

It has been a difficult 3 years. For six weeks I slept at the hospital when he first went in and we didn't know if he would live. When his Medicare Part B ran out, I had to take him to his home, move in with him and nurse him. He was being tube fed by me, had a stage 4 bedsore on his coccyx, and was incontinent. I didn't get a solid 4 hours sleep at any time in those 3 months. Just before I brought him home, Mom went down with a stroke (see above). At one point, I realized that he was not of sound mind, and I had to have him taken for a psych/med evaluation. They found he had vascular dementia and some psychosis, in addition to the medical problems. The doctor asked me what the hell led me to believe I could care for him. But if I hadn't, he would have lost the house and been destitute. I couldn't allow that to happen. After I got him admitted to a nursing facility, he wouldn't speak to me for months. It broke my heart. But I continued to take care of his needs. Eventually we resolved the issues, and became father and son again. About 8 months ago, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and chose not to have treatment. The clock ran out on April 13, 2011. God be good to him.

I could write a book on the lessons, good and bad, that I have learned from his life and his passing. Maybe one day I will, but in the meantime, I am just sad. I will miss this man.

To my friends, like Spaw, whose trials I have been absent from, please know that I love you and apologize. Life just hasn't afforded me much time here, as I dealt with Ciara's tragedy, my father's burst abdominal aortic aneurysm, and my mother's stroke.

Yeah, my old man was a union man. I will sing his song all the days of my life.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 17 May 09 - 05:27 PM

I know about the healing power of Mudcat shawls. I'm glad your mother has one, and that she has you, dear friend. Holding you and her and your whole family in my heart.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Pistachio
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:21 PM

Checking in - hope all these hugs are doing their duty.
Please accept just one more today.
H.x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: bbc
Date: 12 May 09 - 07:07 AM

Just checked in, Mick, after ages away. I am so sorry for your family's troubles. You are on my heart & in my prayers. I think your mom passed that great heart on to you.

love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:30 PM

Wonderful to that purple mudcat hug shrug shawl thing. How lovely.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Pistachio
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:52 PM

It seems to me that Mudcat will never run out of its support, prayers, and good thoughts.
Mick, you said "I know I have pretty well used up my quota, but the need is great."
I don't know you but I offer all the support I can, all the good thoughts too.

I have a lovely friend who has 'jumped in roses and come up smelling of ****'. She has suffered so many mishaps and misfortunes in the 20 years I've known her, lost babies, had dangerously ill children, meningitis, car accidents and is now reliant on a motorised wheelchair yet she keeps smiling through. I saw her this weekend and (before seeing this reprised thread) thanked my lucky stars and remembered that I wanted to check in on Mudcat and your post after your daughter and friend had their accident.
Well, here I am, wishing the best for your Mother, Father and Daughter. I hope that my good thoughts add to the humungous(!) support from 'catters.

You also said "I will sing again, but somehow I suspect it will be with a bit of sadness", ...well, it seems you are singing and the sadness you feared isn't there for those who hear you.
No, I don't know you, but you inspire me.
Keep yourself safe and accept all this Mudcat love. You deserve it more than most ...
and... Jean, thank you for your wise words. We can all learn so much from each other.
Off to light my candle for your family - and any 'catters' who need good thoughts.
Hazel. x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: My guru always said
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:37 AM

My heart goes out to you and your Mother Mick. Wonderful words and people in this world, keep on singing.
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Crowhugger
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:24 AM

Oh Mick, too much to adjust to, too much to absorb. True nonsense. Love and hugs to you and yours.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:00 AM

Mick, I think of you and your family daily. This thread has been a wonderful gathering place for good thoughts and words, reflections shared and unspoken.

Enjoy the day with your mother tomorrow. And remember, as Pete Seeger said, parents work for the high wages! Kisses! It's that simple. She's so fortunate to have you with her, and all who gather there are blessed.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,JedMarum
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:59 AM

Lovely, loving thoughts - wishes well across the ether.

kindness and wisdom spoken here.

God Bless you and yours, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:39 AM

The least I could do Mick. I'm glad she liked it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:24 AM

Quick update. I delivered jacqui's "mudcat hug" (purple knit shawl) last night. My mother has not had it of her shoulders since. She loved it!!

Thank you, dear friend, from the bottom of my heart!!

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:38 AM

(((Allan))) It is so good to hear your voice.

Mick, this thread has become a wonderful gift.

thanks

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Allan C.
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:39 AM

Mick,

You have sat on the edge of the cliff before, my friend. The gods and muses told you what to do then and they are speaking to you again. We here have all had times when we felt that our music was our only refuge and and dearest friends our only solace - or times when we forgot that. You have heard the voices once again and they are telling you the comfort you seek is to be found in the sharing of your gifts and in the voices of your friends. You have no control of the things that have befallen you. You can only do what you can, and what you can is to continue to give of yourself to others who may not even know how much they need your gifts until they receive them.

Be well, my friend, and continue to know that your many friends are here to help you, as best they can, to carry the load.

Sending all the love I hold for you, I proudly remain your friend,

Allan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: KT
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:51 AM

Thanks for the update, Mick. Thinking of you....KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:13 PM

We love you, dear. Thank you for giving us the chance to help.   Keep leaning, we'll be here.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:52 PM

Mick-

That's as good as it gets.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: nutty
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:49 PM

I'm not sure if it's relevant or appropriate but I would like to share this song that I have written for someone very dear to me.


WHEN THE TRUMPET SOUNDS

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will rock you, we will rock you
When it sounds your going away
We will rock you in our arms
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will rock you in our arms

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will hold you, we will hold you
When it sounds your going away
We will hold you in our hearts
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will hold you in our hearts

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will love you, we will love you
When it sounds your going away
We will love you evermore
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will love you evermore

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Alice
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:13 PM

Mick, here is wishing you a great mother's day with your mom.

Take care,
Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: open mike
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:09 PM

lyrics to the you tube clip i posted
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? BY KATHY MATTEA
Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I've held you near
Now at last you're really here

Chorus
Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by 8
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

Chorus

They'd never spent a night apart
For 60 yrs she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In seperate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Chorus

Where have you been
I've searched for you forever and a day
Where have you been
I'm just not myself when your away
I'm just not myself when your away
(perhaps i should do a lyrics add thread if this is not in D.T.)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: open mike
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:48 PM

Jean's post is a good place to begin!

Thanks, Pat for the Desiderata

I am so glad to hear that you brought your music to share..
I know it made them all feel better...and you too!!

When both of my parents were in hospital and care facilities,
i could not help but cry when i heard this song..by Kathy Mattea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHzMGM9qyZw&feature=related

hang in there...and know that you are loved!!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: frogprince
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:31 PM

I just caught up with this thread again, beginning with Jean's post.

I love this "place".
                   Dean

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:31 PM

Much, much love, Mick. xx

Buy your Mum a purple velvet hat and write her a song.. :0)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:15 PM

This Mudcat place is pure magic. Get to witness and take part in caring for one another. So glad I fell into it.

Still keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Partridge
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:06 PM

Oh Mick, I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum. She sound like a fighter and I know from experience that the people who master having a stroke are the fighters.

But you also have to look after yourself, remember to eat and breathe. Stress has a very debilitating effect on the body, take some time out for a massage or something like that. Get your mum an aromatherapy massage - it can only do good.

Sometimes trying to sing when you are upset doesn't work right. I know when my dad was ill I tried to sing the songs we sang together and for a while It was like trying to sing while being strangled. I couldn't get the sound out, but out I'm sure your music will come back and who knows may be the better for it. There are some people who sing and there are others who make you feel like they know whats going on in your head - makes me think of "killing me softly"

I'm sorry I'm rambling, all I really wany you to know is that there are many who are wishing you and yours well and sending you much, much love.

And not forgetting your Dad, I am hoping he has a good recovery.

Remember that in amongst all this horrible stuff thats going on that

"you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars: you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. therefore be at peace with God - whatever you concieve him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

I have this pinned on my fridge - i should stop and read it more often.

Thinking of you Mick
love
Patrish xxxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Fortunato
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:01 PM

Mick,

When, as I know you have, you have given all you had each day, turned every adversity to a challenge, and done what you ought to have done,
then you are entitled to rest, sleep and rejuvenation.

You are your art, and that art is being the Mick you believe yourself to be.

Believe in a strong, courageous, compassionate Mick.

I do.

chance

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:29 PM

Yes!! No mystery where you get your strength, Mick. Thanks for takign some moments to update us. Good on all fronts it sounds like. Keep singing and love to all.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:18 PM

There you go, Mick!

Thanks for the update. Prayers on wings still headed north to Michigan.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:02 PM

I read Jean's incredibly generous post last night and just sat there stunned and pondering the depth of this wise friend's gift. Her voice is a gift from the Almighty, for which she received without asking. She had nothing whatever to do with it's creation. But how she uses that same treasure is her gift to us. Here is a woman that is a national treasure. She could easily rest on her lifetime of accomplishment and receive the accolades she so richly deserves. And in the midst of her own trials, she takes time out to share her wisdom with a half hindended folksinger from Michigan and the rest of us. Not only did she share her wisdom, but she bared her soul. I am grateful beyond belief, and will treasure these words all the days of my life. As I am grateful for all the love and concern expressed by all of you.

I also received, last night, a beautiful "Mudcat hug" (handknitted shawl) as a gift to my Mother from jacqui. She enclosed a wonderful personal note to my Mom that starts out "Dear Naughty Grandma, Now that is a title I aspire to ....." . I will be giving that to my mother this afternoon. She will love it!

Chas, you will be pleased to know that I grabbed the old Larrivee and took it to the hospital and played for the folks in two wards. As I was playing for Mom and the folks on her floor, one of my kin came to visit and let me know that my cousin was two floors up with heart problems. Damn, another one!! So me and the old Larrivee headed up and played for those folks for an hour or so. A nurse, one of the true Angels of Mercy, came to me and said she wished I would stay all night. When I think of that comment, especially when I ponder it in terms of Jean's sharing of her gifts and wisdom, I can see the selfishness of my opening comments about not singing. We are given gifts and the question is, how will we use them? Our Jean asks daily that she be shown the tasks yet to be accomplished, and that she leaves fond memories behind. One of her tasks, it seems to me, was to show me, by her amazing example, that all of this is not about me and the load I am caused to bear. It is more about me taking the gifts I have been given and using them to help friends and family through the long valley. And to leave fond memories. Thanks, Jean, for your wisdom, love, and friendship.

My mom is simply amazing. She has charmed the hospital staff with her attitude and her beautiful smile. She is already embracing her situation and turning it to lemonade. We will get through this.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: jacqui.c
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:32 AM

What everyone else said Jean. Thank you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:18 AM

I hope some day that kind of Grace can find its way through me....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: maeve
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:49 AM

Thank you, Jean. Your post was what I needed exactly now.

Mick, you are doing the work. We are here as witnesses to grace.

maeve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:24 AM

Gee, Jean, what a stupid letter. I'd like to write a letter that stupid so that I'd look stupid too. I can't; I'm not wise enough.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Max
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:18 AM

I love this place. Mick, you know my heart is with you. Jean, please keep posting stupid letters.

max

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: MartinRyan
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:09 AM

Jean

Would that we were all able to write such "stupid" letters! Thank you.

Regards

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: georgeward
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:12 AM

Ah, Jean!

If I'm ever brave and articulate enough to write something that direct about approaching the end of life.....

"Stupid letter", my North Country foot!

Every now and again, one of us makes Mudcat worthwhile. It's what we're trying to do for Mick. It sounds as though we'd be well employed trying to do it for you and yours.

You just did it for some of us.

Thanks, dear one. One more time.

- George

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:05 AM

Mick, do you ever go in with your guitar and sing for your mom? Great therapy for both of you. I've been doing music therapy for years, starting back when our weekly sessions' hostess Sally came down with encephalitis--I'd bring in the banjo and play for her, even though she was unconscious; other patients and the nurses and other med staff liked it. When she started coming out of it, I continued, and when she was in a nursing home, and when fading parents of other group members were in nursing homes, several of us would get together and do concerts for the groups. When Sally had recovered, she went back to doing some music therapy sessions at a center for adult victims of brain trauma, I joined her, and when she started finding it too taxing, I continued by myself--this has been going on for five years or so. I have a loyal bunch of fans there who love my spirituals and love songs and funny songs and just my banjo and harmonica playing (their favorite song from my repertoire, believe it or not, is "The Overflowing Cat-box Blues.") I may soon begin doing song sessions in the waiting room of a comprehensive cancer center. All the best to you, my friend.

Charles

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:59 PM

Charley Noble, here is a Coleman site that offers table top battery lamps. Under $17.00. Takes 4 D batteries. I got mine at a garage sale for #1.00!   It's great. I used mine last winter as a power-out reading lamp. Hey, when I can't get on the Mudcat, at least I can read.

http://www.safetycentral.com/inlam.html

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:46 PM

Thanks Jean.....

It is the wisdom and understanding of age that you tell. My Mom's best friend Marg has been as close to me as a mother all my life and has filled that role since my Mom died. She's your age and not two weeks ago we had a conversation and much of what she said you say as well and almost verbatim. If age takes away so very much, and it does, then I think it also imparts certain truths that can make all the rest more comfortable and comforting to accept......and more pleasurable and better to go on with the living.

Thanks Jean......once again..........and always........

Spaw