BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???

Subject: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 09:46 PM

Well, I knew that somehtin' like this was gonna happen somedaybut I never expected it so soon but...

...seems that my pudder's mouse has a squeaky ball and when I go movin' it 'round on the mouse pad it goes, "Squeal, squeak, squeak" and it's driving me completely mad... Okay, I might not have had to travel too far to get there but that ain't got nuthin' in the world to do with my question...

Like can you oil mouse balls???

And if so, what kinda oil...

Man, I really hate havin' to ask this but when yer balls is a squeakin' ya gottta do somethin' and fast... Ain't like somethin' you can jus' say, "let 'um squeak"...

Ya'll know what I mean???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 09:49 PM

No!

Oil will ruin it. It is probably squeeking ( unless it is just lonely) because it has dirt inside, jamming the two wheels that track the ball.

To clean, remove ball, then clean dirt off the two ( or three) wheels.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 09:51 PM

Chop off the focker's balls and get yourself a hi-tech Mousie with a light shootin' outta' his ass and no tail at all!

Seriously, the damn things have gotten cheap and they don't give any problems at all.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:22 PM

Iffen ya really don't wanna take Spaw's good advice (and it is!), underneath yer mouse is the ball. The ball is held in place by a ring with a hole in it. Open up a paperclip and put the long end in the hole, then rotate one way or the other and the ring will fall off. The ball will fall out.

Spray the inside with some canned air (don't use a compressor!), or blow the dust out with a straw. You can gently wipe the inside with a tissue, too.

Clean the ball by gently rubbing it with a tissue (it's hard rubber, most likely).

Now put everything back the way you found it.

Bobert, even you kin figger out how to do that.

Then consider how danged BIG the mouse was who originally owned that ball.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:23 PM

Better yet, go get yerself a trackball. That way you don't have to move yer hands all over the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:28 PM

NO OIL, you will gum it up..

Take a paper towel, squirt Windex on the towel and place it on a table. Turn the mouse upside down and rub the mouse ball/gear briskly, but gently on the Windex spot, don't overdo it, just one squirt of Windex. Move the mouse to a dry area on the paper towel, keep rubbing; then blow air into the mouse & repeat...It should be fine...If you can avoid taking it apart, do that.

If that doesn't work, new mouse time...
bob

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:41 PM

Do as Rapaire says, get a trackball...it really relieves carpal tunnel type stuff, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:42 PM

I don't know, but I'd like to see someone try...


(I use an optical mouse with a scrolling wheel. I won't use any other kind unless I have no other choice.)

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Peace
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 11:49 PM

"Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???"

Cetainly. But wear thick gloves. They've been known to bite when they're scared.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:43 AM

Get one of the new optical ones with the little red light shining out of the bottom and a scrolling wheel. They beat hell out of the old style mouse, and you don't even need a mouse pad when using them, as they will work fine on any flat surface such as a desktop.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: JennieG
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 03:31 AM

The liddle mouse has a red light shining out of its bottom??!!!!

I don't want to know......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 03:32 AM

I seem to remember there was an infamous IBM Service Paper about cleaning Mouse Balls...

Yep, Bobert, rotate yer ring till yer balls fall out...

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 07:36 AM

Glad to see so many agree......and on Mudcat!

Optical-Wireless-Scrolling Wheel

You'll love it......you can use anything for a mouse pad.....Dig down and go get one.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 08:44 AM

GUESS WHOo... mmmmmmmm mooose balls

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 08:51 AM

I had one of the optical, cordless ones. I kept losing it, and it ATE batteries. Set of batteries wouldn't last even one day. I binned it.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: maire-aine
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 09:23 AM

Re:    Replacement of Mouse Balls. 
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).  Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.  Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.
Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.  Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.  Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.  Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.  However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.  Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: EBarnacle
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 09:23 AM

Don't use Windex. When I spoke about a similar problem with a trackball keyboard, the company advised me that alcohol is the only cleaner to use.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 09:41 AM

Iffen it squeakin' lah thet, wal, jes' let the kitteh slap 'it aroun' awhahl... an' 'it'll work awl raght.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 09:50 AM

Donuel, that's a caribou and not a moose.

Alky will take the grease and dirt offen yer balls real good.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 09:59 AM

Or, if all that seems a trifle strange, you could crazy glue the mouse itself to the table/desk and, get this, move the computer around! It serves a dual purpose: helps you use the mouse, although in this case I guess that should be 'computer screen'

AND, it acts as a fan to keep away flies and bats. It sounds weird, but I have no bats in my place. That's why I know it works. Have no dog anymore, either. The fourteen-foot-long anaconda got loose and Fido went missing, coincidentally within minutes of each other. A little feasy weasty on the beastie. (If you are posting to the 'should dogs be allowed to listen to ballads at festivals' thread, you might wish to suggest they rent a few dozen of the little darlings as a solution for their difficulties with some members of the canine kingdom.)

Anyway, back to mice. The problem with catch and release traps is that ya have to drop mice off freakin' miles away from where you live or they'll come back. Most likely pregnant--well, if it's a girl mouse. And if it is, you won't have to worry about oiling balls.

Sorry for the thread drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:24 PM

My brother, back when he was a biology major, did an experiment in oiling mouse balls. Only PETA objected to him using mice, so he used his friend Tom. For weeks Tom went around with the front of his pants all oily, slick, and exuding a definite odor (my brother used WD-40). For some reason people avoided Tom, including his own mother. The lesson learned from the experiment was that if you oil mouse balls, Tom pees down his leg because he can't keep ahold of his pee-er.

This experiment did not make the peer-reviewed journals and the knowledge sits unknown on my brother's bookshelf, such as it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:47 PM

Back to the technical info here: I advise an optical mouse with the scrolling wheel, but I don't recommend the wireless type. What the hell for? It's no hassle having a wire connnecting your mouse to your computer and that way it STAYS connected to your computer. You will not be in danger of losing it, as Sorcha alluded to or dropping it on the floor, and it won't eat batteries, because it will be receiving power directly through the wire.

I can see no point whatsoever in having a wireless mouse, unless it's to satisfy one's desire to have all the latest technological bells and whistles even if they are totally unnecessary.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 01:25 PM

But do you know why Mice only have small balls ???




































Its because very few of them can dance

OK - I'll get my coat .

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 01:29 PM

We use wireless mice with our laptops because there are enough GD cables with them as it is.

But not with the desktops, no sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 04:09 PM

I use rubbing alchohol to clean mine. NOT good drinking stuff, Gee, my mama dint raise no dummies!

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 04:54 PM

like Carol C and others say..OPTICAL mouse! Runs anywhere...never clogs. Little red light under its tail knows where you are. It don't have to be wireless...that 'can' be nice, but if you sit right near, you never need wireless anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: MMario
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 05:10 PM

the latest optical, wireless mice have on off switches to save your batteries.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 06:03 PM

It is easier if you are carefully (and gentially)
spread their legs before you try.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 06:48 PM

Why not ask the mouse?

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 06:56 PM

Like I said, go wireless as Mario noted. The new ones are easier on batteries and ave the switch to boot.....PLUS.....You can use your crotch for a mousepad and really enjoy surfing the net!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 07:02 PM

Spam...I just tried that and damned near electrocuted myself. I'm suing you for malsomething or other.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 07:05 PM

This thread has to be one of the best for ages..! Just wonderful!

You guys make me fall around laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 10:45 PM

"Spam" is "Spaw" with his back part upside down.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 04:39 AM

Ain't nuffink should be squeaking around here but ME!!

Clean your mouse pad regularly with alcohol too - it gets rid of the grease and dust that your mouse balls pick up and transfer to its insides.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Bert
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:54 AM

To keep your mouse clean all the time use a sheet of white paper as your mouse pad. When it gets dirty or wrinkled, just replace it

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Bee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 11:52 AM

Optical wireless for me. One less long skinny cable! Works anywhere! Up to six feet away from the computer! (useful when cat wrangling while trying to turn off browser or whatnot).

Battery use? Two words> RECHARGEABLE BATTERIES!! Honestly, they last a couple years, keep four cycling from mouse to charger.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: EBarnacle
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 12:10 PM

They last even longer! When they stop holding a charge, stick them in the freezer for a few days, allow them to thaw and then charge them up. I have saved several batteries this way, including marine radio, cell phone and laptop batteries. I have no idea why it works.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 09:55 PM

"I have no idea why it works"

The life of rechargeable batteries can be shortened by 'dendrites' - small spike like growths (of the metals) that occur because when the chemical reactions are reversed during charging, It does not deposit evenly. The freezing process may disrupt this.

Subject: RE: BS: Can Ya' Oil Mouse Balls???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 09:58 PM

Freezing would certainly disrupt MY dendrites...not to mention my balls.