BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....

Subject: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 07:52 PM

Now I'm mad!!! I mean real mad!!!

So "Redskins Report" was 'sposed to be on at 7:00 but instead we had stupid golf so I figure that once the golf was over they'd have "Redskins Report"... Right???

But no... They have to have a friggin' show about heart disease as if every7body on the planet don't allready know that you ain't 'sposed to smoke, be overweight or have bad colestoral... I thinking, 'Hey, there are about 35 people in the world watching this show and a million pissed off people who wanted to watch "Redskins Report"...

I mean, lets get real here... If people are stupid enough to no give a danged about the dangers of doing stupid stuff then why shouldn't they suffer the consequences... Prolly clean up the gene poll...

I mean, when you buy a friggin' chainsaw and the instructions tell you not to eat the sumabich then as far as I'm concerned if Bubba eats his chainsaw and dies then that's a good thing... I didn't eat my friggin' chainsaw...

But we gotta listen for the unpteenth time about the dangers of heart disease as if no one ever heard of it??? Give my boney butt a break!!! This ain't news, folks...

Grrrrrr....

And how about them electric radios??? They now gotta tell you not to plug them in and then get in your bath tub with them... That is stupid... Let Bubba get in ther bath tub with his radio... It's one less McCain voter as far as I can see...

I mean, let Darwin do his thing, will ya'???

Grrrrrr....

I'm mad...

Real mad...

Take my "Redskins Report" off the TV, will they???

Grrrrrr....

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 08:24 PM

What you got against eatin' chainsaws? A Stihl MS 170 marinated overnight in a good grade of bar & chain oil is quite tasty.

Problem most folks have with eatin' chainsaws is they get one of those cheap "factory reconditioned"* McCullochs or Homelites from Big Lots or someplace and it tastes so bad they won't ever even try chainsaw again. You gotta use a good saw. A Stihl, Husqvarna or Echo is guaranteed good eatin'.

A Poulan Pro will work in a pinch, but they tend to be underpowered and weak tastin'. If you buy one with an 18" bar, downsize it to a 16" and it'll taste more like a chainsaw should.


* "Factory reconditioned": Another way of saying "A piece of junk that didn't work right when the first fool bought it, so what makes you think it's gonna work any better for you?"

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 08:39 PM

Hey, is this thread supposed to be about chainsaws? I have a brand-new electric chainsaw that I haven't used because I'm scared to death of it. You can eat it if you want, Bobert. Do you think Homeland Security will let me take it on the plane to the Getaway so I can give it to you? I hope you can find ketchup for it at the camp, because Homeland Security won't let me take enough on the plane...

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 08:42 PM

Bubba ain't smart 'nuff to buy a Stihl or Husqvanna, Beezer... That's another reason why he needs to get outta the gene pool...

Yeah, go eat a Homelite, Bubba... Or yer Yardman riding mower...

Bon appitite'...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 08:47 PM

Don't know, Joe... But if it ain't a Stihl then thrown the sumabich out... I ain't got no interest in it... Might as well take it down to the trailer parks and let Bubba eat it... At least it wouldn't go to complete waste... Might kill off BUbba but that is what chainsawz is for, ain't it??? Heck if Bubba don't kill himself tryin' to use it then ingestin' the sumabich should do the trick nicely...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Peace
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:00 PM

"Do you think Homeland Security will let me take it on the plane to the Getaway so I can give it to you?"

Hey, man, the saw IS a musical instrument . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:11 PM

Unless, of course, it's a Homelite...

Sounds like, ahhhhhhh, well you know.... Lousy...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Peace
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:45 PM

We carry chain saws on rescue vehicles to vent roof tops, cut walls, etc. A new one will cut through steel reinforced concrete. I'm thinking about giving a course on drop starting them. Whatcha all figure?

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:47 PM

Ok, ok...you boys dissen my lil' Homelite? Hope ya'll kin run FAST....I LIKE it...I can start it, I can run it without vibrating my fiddlin fingers off....Yea, the Mr has one of them Giant Poulan 30" bar thingies....I can't even MOVE the damn thing out of my way in the garage, let alone USE it.




No, I don't use my lil' Homelite for REAL jobs like a couple cord of firewood, just lil' Homie jobs like a small dead tree in my way.

Oh yea...he had a Sthil....it busted and there is nobody local to fix it.

Hey, Joe...I ain't 'scared' of chain saws, but I DO have a lot of Respect for them. Just keep the fingers out of the way. Feets too.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:48 PM

I gotta go get my wife's electric McCulloch fixed. Sucker needs a tune up, it's tossing bar oil and I ain't gonna fool with it.

It ain't no chain saw lessen it's at least 36 inches.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Peace
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 09:59 PM

I understand, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 08 - 10:12 PM

LOL! I NEED that thing to take out a 4" tree in my back yard? No, I don't think so.....LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 08:24 AM

My .028 Stihl is 30 years old and I've run it hundreds of hours and never so much as put a new spark plug in it!!! Might of fact, I can leave it alone for months and it'll start on the 2nd or 3rd pull everytime... Needless to say, it has never crossed my mind to marinate it and put it on the grill...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: olddude
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 10:42 AM

I have a McCulloch. It would be easier to cut it down with a pocket knife then to try and start that miserable SOB. By the time I would get it started I was too tired to cut up anything. Still sitting in my garage, can't give the thing away

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: maeve
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 11:43 AM

Hey old dude, McCullochs are fine saws. Yours just needs to be adjusted by someone with my husband's skills. Make it purr like a tiger, he will!

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 11:51 AM

How about a chainsaw to clean up trash?

Way back about 30 plus years ago, a friend of mine calls and asks if I've seen the Columbus Dispatch for the day. I replied I hadn't and what was the big deal anyway? Randy is all excited and tells me there is a front page photo of a mound of trash which people had been tossing over a hill, illegally of course. The article stated the situation with dumping and how big the problem was becoming. The picture showed a huge mound of trash not far from where we lived with a chainsaw prominently seen up towards the top of the heap.

Randy is dying to go over and see if the saw is still there and asks me to go along......Why, I have no idea. Fifteen minutes later we're on our way to the pile of garbage. When we arrive the chainsaw is, not surprisingly, missing from the heap. What has replaced it are about 40 or 50 cars parked along the road with their occupants picking through the garbage. Something else is missing too. There is now only about half the trash that had been seen in the photo and the pile was getting smaller all the time. As we left without the chainsaw and without any other junk I figures somewhere about three-fourths of the original mound was gone. Going past the site a few days later there was a highway crew cleaning up the remains of what had once been a pretty big pile.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure and it still makes me wonder if someone who had observed the trash picking phenomenon before planted the saw on the pile and ran the picture on the front page on purpose. I don't know if it was planned but it sure as hell worked.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: maeve
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 11:57 AM

That's a great story, Spaw. I'll keep that in mind for the next time I see a pile of trash dumped around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 02:02 PM

hey, Sorcha...'some' women can handle them big ones

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Sep 08 - 02:29 PM

My Stihl (BRAND NEW) courtesy of my insurance company was a pain in the arse to start at Knockholt. Before I figured out that it was flooding I had had it to pieces 3 times, modified the HT cap, cooked the plug several times on the gas stove, had some spectacular little fires in the plug-hole.

Eventually it turned out that the instruction book (like ALWAYS use full choke if the engine has not been running) was just plain wrong and it was flooding every time. Half choke and ten minutes swearing and I was away!..

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: olddude
Date: 22 Sep 08 - 09:57 AM

Well once I helped my ex brother in law out by cutting up wood. My job was to work the landing when they dragged the logs in and piled them up. My brother in law (ex now) had a twisted sense of humor. I was bent over measuring a log. He had been working on one of the chain saws and had taken the chain off. He creeped up behind me with the saw running (no chain) next thing I know I see this chain saw blade up under my crotch and I hear RRRRREEERRRR has he was pressing the throddle. For a moment I thought was was going to be sawed in half. He and the rest of the guys burst out laughing as I nearly crapped my pants. I got him back good later on but that is another story.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: MaineDog
Date: 22 Sep 08 - 10:40 AM

I have a 20" Homelite Timeberman, and it works really well. Only problem is it is a little difficult to get the chain just right. ( I got another Homelite just a little smaller, for FREE because several dudes who owned it before me couldn't figure out how to adjust the chain, and it was so tight that it wouldn't run at all.) There are some advantages to poor enginieering after all..
MD

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Sep 08 - 02:37 PM

Playing about with chainsaws is just plain stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: Louie Roy
Date: 23 Sep 08 - 12:51 AM

Before you kids run the homelite chain saws and the Mc Mculloch saws down you'd better do a little reserach on power saws and what us oldtimers had to work with back in the 1940s when we had a choice of a Disston or a lincoln weighting 159 pounds and a 6 foot bar or the Maul 6 or 7 with a 48 inch bar weighing 110 pounds with a stinger and you had to make a deadman to use it alone to fall a tree.When McCulloch came out in 1949 with their 5hp and 49 pounds they probably sold more chain saws this year than any time since and the Homelite with their 4 hp 30 pounds in 1950 then the McCulloch with their 3 hp and 25 pounds so for many years the only 2 saws that anyone talked about was either Homelite or McCulloch

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: olddude
Date: 23 Sep 08 - 07:28 PM

He was stupid, that is why he is my ex brother in law

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 05:02 AM

There are a lot of people out there who make a living Juggling Chainsaws - Google is your friend!

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 05:04 AM

How to Juggle Chainsaws

Subject: RE: BS: Eat the friggin' chainsaw... Grrrrrr....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 05:06 AM

Oooooo oooooo Drool Drool!!!!!!!!!!