BS: New stock market terms

Subject: BS: New stock market terms
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 06:38 PM

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

Subject: RE: BS: New stock market terms
From: GUEST,Bluesman
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 05:44 AM

Breaking news today, A 31-year-old man has reportedly been arrested in connection with the £1.3 billion UBS rogue trade.

Subject: RE: BS: New stock market terms
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 02:07 PM

See... Still no one can define a derivitive.

Subject: RE: BS: New stock market terms
From: gnu
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 02:27 PM

Nobody can dervive a definition?

Subject: RE: BS: New stock market terms
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 02:30 PM

Derivatives- see Wikipedia. Have fun with that one.