BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale

Subject: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:10 PM

Hmmm.

I'm just discovered that using your partner's ladyshave to trim your beard, whilst slightly pissed is ever so sick and wrong.

On all sorts of different levels.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:13 PM

It's enough to make your spleen cringe, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Will Fly
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:14 PM

Is it OK to trim it with a ladyshave when you're stone cold sober?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:15 PM

oh thank you for that just before bed laugh, Spleen.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: GUEST,Jack The Sailor
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:16 PM

Did Chongo ever tell you about the time he was going undercover as a human and he tried to diguise himself with a bottle of Nair and a pair of Speedos?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: GUEST,Logged out for obvious reasons
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:18 PM

When is it right to tell a man that the scissors that he trims his moustache with, his daughters use to trim their unruly "spiders' legs"?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:18 PM

That was a noble effort on Chongo's part. He was planning to write a bestselling book called "Human Like Me" which would reveal the startling inequities that exist in a specist society.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:22 PM

Would any bloke actually worry about that sort of thing? Scissors are scissors, use them for anything - trimming hairs, cutting string, slicing bacon...

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:33 PM

...cutting off nit-infested hair, trimming back the poison ivy....

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:36 PM

Of course sometime it's best to give the blades a good wipe.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:41 PM

Wiping also stops your moustache smelling of the stuff that you dig out of the back of your toenails...

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:42 PM

Use your rubber gloves when rodding the drains - then for peeling vegetables...

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:50 PM

I think there's a song in there somewhere: "The Rodding of the Drains". Sort of along the lines of "Muckin' of Geordie's Byre" but with sexual overtones.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Will Fly
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:54 PM

Wiping also stops your moustache smelling of the stuff that you dig out of the back of your toenails...

Errgh - and I've just had me cheese on toast...

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Rowan
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 05:59 PM

cutting off nit-infested hair?

What happened to sponging the hair (right to the roots) with kero?

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:05 PM

Borrow the cat's comb for that. But make sure to give it a good wash afterwards

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:16 PM

You guys are GROSS.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:34 PM

Help me out here. I don't watch television and try to participate in the consumer world as little as possible. You might say I'm somewhat of a consumer illiterate. In fact, there's no "might" about it. I am a consumer illiterate.

So what's a Ladyshave? Is it some remarkable new technology that only works on women, or is it just another electric razor marketed toward women? Aside from cosmetic things like color, most women's shavers are pretty much the same as men's shavers. So why should using it on a man's beard be especially problematic?

Personally, I would never use an electric shaver to trim my beard. I much prefer one of these.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:45 PM

I just drive it in with a hammer and bite it off inside....

(gosh, folkie references are fun!)

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:48 PM

If one kinda hair gets tangled up with the other kind all the time anyhow, what's it all matter...

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Jack Campin
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 08:41 PM

The scoops you use for clumping cat litter make pretty good pasta strainers. Or the other way round.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Gurney
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 11:51 PM

I'm not really the outdoor type, but I have noticed those that are always sterilise their gutting knives on the seat of their pants before using it for eating.

Spleen, I know wherof you speak! 'They' give you GBH of the ear'ole for using their razor just once, in an emergency, but then use yours forever and whenever, because "you use mine!"

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 03:22 AM

I remember quite clearly when my mother gave my father a "ration of logical exposition" on the evils of having my sister use his razor to remove the spiders from her legs.

Father responded appropriately and I learned that they made something called a "safety razor" - a device I'd never seen (or at least had never noticed) until then, although I'd purchased (and used regularly) my own Dubl-Duk since about a year earlier.

(It was a slight exaggeration to claim she "nearly cut her leg off," although there was copious leakage of "body fluid.")

John

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Gervase
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 05:08 AM

...and yet if you leave a nostril hair trimmer in the bathroom, no-one will ever borrow it.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Schantieman
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 05:25 AM

Richard, why would anyone wear rubber gloves to peel vegetables?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:01 AM

You TRIM your beard??????

I'm afraid you will have to send your official folkie identity card back at once.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:46 AM

Thing is, Wandering (if I may be so bold as to call you by your first name), it was my good lady who suggested, shall we call it, that old woolly and weird needed a trim in the first place. Me, I've no problem with being Mr Hedgeface.

Apparently, and I have been shown no scientific proof of this (other than 'it stands to reason'), they are calibrated differently to men's shavers because they are expected to perform a more delicate task... my beard will almost certainly ruin the mechanism.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 09:06 AM

A real man would have waxed

¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 09:09 AM

... and then whined?

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 12:25 AM

John, only moustaches shoud be waxed! A waxed beard could stab someone to death in the night.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Dec 08 - 05:39 AM

What it says

world beard championships

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 09:57 AM

Fascinating facial hair sculptures see link in post above.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 10:09 AM

I made the mistake of showing those beards to my little boy, VT (it's ok, I'm a social worker...). Not only was he almost sick he was laughing so much, but he's now pretty much insisting that the only thing he wants for christmas is for his dad to grow a Willi Chevalier ... Thanks a bunch!

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Sleepy Rosie
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:05 PM

But don't we all really want to know what Willi does with his lower beard? Yeah, a cheap shot I know. But ffs *someone* had to say it surely.
Something for the weekend sir? The mind boggles.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:29 PM

His lower beard, Rosie? Surely you're not referring to his downstairs haircut, are you?

I suspect he uses "downstairs hair gel ... for the perfect pubic pompadour".

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 08:54 PM

With a face fungus of that proportion, do you think he ever gets the sort of action that would require a pubic pompadour?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: open mike
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 11:05 AM

perhaps a lady shave is a depillatory of some sort with a (speaking of hair getting tangled) with a rotating spring that grabs hair and pulls it out by the roots....i wonder how such a device could be invented or marketed by civilized society??
here is an alternative hair removal method..

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-thread-leg-hair

or this against the grain method
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzQ_sPZd_jI

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: PoppaGator
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 03:31 PM

It seems to be OK for women to use their mens' razors to shave their legs ~ it happens to me, and to other guys I know, and any complaints we might voice are never taken seriously ~ so turnabout certainly should be considered fair play.

As a guy with a beard, my shaving needs are pretty modest. Two or three times a week, I'll shave about one square inch on each cheek ~ that's it! (I used to shave my neck as well as the cheeks, but since radiation treatment for a tumor in my neck, hair no longer grows below my jawline. The beard is a lot sparser than it used to be above the jawline, too.)

I can get several month's use out of one "disposable" double-blade razor . . . IF, that is, no one else finds it and uses it on her legs. If that happens, the razor becomes disposable quite quickly.

Subject: RE: BS: Beard Abuse: A Cautionary Tale
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 04:07 AM

I used Manitas' razor for my legs for 2 years before he realised....

LTS