BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

    * A man wanted officers to be aware of his disgruntled views toward a bar.

    * A moose was wandering around North Church Avenue around 7:30 a.m. and later became "kind of trapped" in a man's backyard on Fridley Street. Police were unable to find the moose.

    * A moose was spotted in the wetlands near the end of East Main Street around 2:30 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

    * A barefoot man was sitting alongside Gallatin Road around 9 a.m. and was hitchhiking. He was playing the harmonica and either waving at or flipping off drivers passing by. He eventually got a ride.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 01:52 PM

LAW AND ORDER. . . From Ear's favorite police blotter, in Dutch Harbor: "05/18/10 Tue. 2227 Domestic Disturbance ... Officers mediated a dispute between two men in a boarding house after one man, who had failed to clean his rice pot this morning, found it in his bed when he returned from work. The petty squabble continued, with the second man repeatedly pulling the plug on the microwave as the first man tried to heat his dinner. Officers asked the two men to make an attempt to behave like adults."

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvC1DyK


"06/05/10 Sat. 2133 ...Husband was concerned that his wife might be a danger to herself due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed this evening. Midway through this report, the wife took the phone from him and reported that her dumb husband was cheating on her and sending her hard-earned money to his foreign girlfriend. Officers determined that the couple's marital difficulties had not escalated to a point where further police intervention was required."

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvLKEHe

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:37 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

    * An apartment dweller said someone was "bumping" around 12:30 a.m. and that the noise is an ongoing problem.
   
    * An officer checked on a man seen standing in the rain for "an abnormally long time."

    * Windows of several vehicles parked on South 12th, 13th, 15th and 16th avenues were broken and items stolen from them.

    * A naked man was reportedly hiding in trees near the trail to Peets Hill behind the library around 4:30 p.m. Police did not find the man.

    * Police warned people for having a skateboard ramp in the middle of South Ninth Avenue, blocking traffic around 5:45 p.m.

    * A moose was on the loose near the hospital on Haggerty Lane around 8 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following:

    * A man turned in a gun he found in the Absarokee Mountains.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:02 AM

I've lived most of my life in the city, where the police are called for shootings and robberies.
Now I live in a suburb, where the guy next door called the cops about a bees nest on my back porch, and they came.

The old gent next door has lived his entire adult life in the borough. He knows the mayor, and most of the council.

He also has trouble backing up his minivan. I have learned to keep at least four feet between my car and his van.

A friend stopped by one evening, and parked his car right behind the gent next door's minivan. He complained to me. I assured him my friend would move the car, then we went back to well...what we'd been doing.

Half an hour later a cop banged on my front door. My friend and I dressed hastily. The cop informed my friend that he would have to move his car. He did, with the neighbor looking on. Afterwards I said to my friend, formerly of U.S. Special Forces, "Mr.... was in Korea, that's something you should know about."

"Korea," says my friend brightly, "Really! What regiment were you in?"

I went inside, poured myself a Coke and found my knitting, knowing I had achieved peace in our time.

But I do miss the city, where the police are called for robberies and shootings, not cars that are in somebody's way.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 11:58 AM

# A man found passed out on a church lawn downtown was taken home and the stolen cue ball in his pocket was returned to the bar it came from.

# Two men were warned for sleeping in a department store. One of them was only partially clothed.

# A homeowner was warned about a loud party after a neighbor reported hearing loud singing coming from the home around 4:30 a.m.

# A bear was seen in the backyard of a home on Graf Street around 11 a.m. "minding his own business, just wandering around."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 02:30 PM

* A reportedly large, loud group of people were gathered around a bonfire in a condominium complex parking lot in Big Sky around 1:30 a.m. A deputy found it was only a "handful" of people who were "sacrificing to the snow god." They were told to quiet down.

    * A driver reported that a truck in front of him had trash flying out of the back of his tarp-covered truck bed. The truck's driver was warned.

    * A dispatcher heard only a toilet flushing when calling back a 911 hang up.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Friday included the following:

- A green Subaru almost hit a man carrying a tuba in a crosswalk on Babcock Street around 1 p.m.

- The owner of a black Labrador was cited around 1 p.m. for having an unlicensed dog after her dog was reportedly growling and "pooping in yards."

- A woman asked for assistance in moving her vehicle around 8 p.m., because she believed the vehicle parked behind her was too close for her to move without "ripping the license plate off." There was no damage when she eventually moved.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

- Eight people refused to leave the third floor of a county business and began "tearing signs off of the walls" around 4:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 31 Jan 10 - 10:45 AM

The manager of a downtown bar found a wallet containing a fake ID on the dance floor and asked officers to come pick it up.

A driver was stopped for trailing an extension cord plugged into the engine block heater behind the vehicle, creating a potential hazard.

A man who had been pulled over by officers several days ago said that his machete was missing after officers searched his car.

A wrecked Chevy Suburban was stolen from a local car lot.

A driver was stopped after chasing a herd of elk from the roadway into a field. In addition to DUI, the man was cited for "Harassing Big Game Animals with a Vehicle."

Big Sky Ski Patrol transported a man off the mountain who had been skiing without a lift ticket.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 29 Dec 09 - 03:46 PM

* A dispatcher heard people speaking about making peanut butter balls during a 9-1-1 hang up call.

* A "convention" of dozens of snowmobiles were parked on "everyone's property" near Mule Deer Road around 4:30 p.m.

* A deputy checked on a man "wandering in the meadow drunk" around midnight.

* A caller wanted to know what to do with a grocery cart left on a neighbor's lawn on South 10th Avenue.

* Teenage siblings who were fighting with each other were separated.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 04:32 PM

True Story:

Arrested: Danny Presgraves

Occupation: Page Co., Va. Sheriff

Charges: 22 Felonies included several for sexual harassment of subordinates, taking bribes, Obstruction of justice, racketeering and money laundering

But here's the kicker:

Even though Danny was facing over 200 years he copped a plea to one charge, the other 21 were dropped and he will begin servin' a 19 month sentence in January... Talk about some pissed off women who he forced to, ahhhhhhh, nevermind... Welcome to rural Virginia, folks...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM

An officer spoke with a driver who had stopped at a nativity scene on North 19th Avenue at 11:23 p.m. and was blocking a lane of traffic.

A man complained that fireworks going off somewhere downtown were bothering his dog.

A 17-year-old girl was reported to be throwing plates at her father after he tried to take away her computer.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 08:38 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Wednesday included the following:

A dispatcher heard "the Peanuts Theme" in the background during a 911 hang up call.

An officer found a stolen vehicle and returned it to the owner.

An employee stole a gift card from a store.

A 26-year-old Bozeman man, a store employee, was arrested after he was caught on video stealing money from the till.

No one was seriously injured when a driver rear-ended a police officer while the officer was waiting to make a left turn at North Church Avenue and East Main Street.

Police warned two people after they were reported "arguing, pushing and flipping each other off."

Four teen boys were skiing on church steps and the railing around 10 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.

A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads.

Hmmmmm.... tit for tat?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Midchuck
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 02:19 PM

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.

Isn't that what living in Montana is all about?

(Nyuck, nyuck)

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 11:52 AM

Garbage is a recurring theme in reports published today:

Someone put garbage on a man's truck.

A man took an item off a shelf in a 19th Avenue store and tried to return it for cash.

A woman said someone came into her house and moved her pictures.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

A woman said someone hit her neighbor's trash can, spewing garbage all over her driveway.

A suspect got off with a warning after agreeing to clean up the wall of the house the suspect previously pelted with paintballs.

A garbage can was stolen from a residence on Gallatin Road.

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.


A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 22 Dec 09 - 06:12 PM

There seem to be a lot of issues concerning Christmas decorations.

--

* A woman was outside having a cigarette on South 12th Avenue around 2:30 a.m. when she heard "someone running and breathing heavily and banging things around. It was so heavy, it sounded like a bear," she told a dispatcher.

* Bones unearthed by workers digging for a new city complex on East Griffin Drive turned out to be those of a cow.

* Christmas lights were taken from a home on Michael Grove Avenue overnight.

* Other Christmas lights were stolen in the middle of the day from a residence on Cover Street.

* Christmas decorations were also taken from residences on Meriwether and North Seventh avenues.

* A Belgrade resident reported that neighbors were hanging Christmas lights and fighting around 10 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 01:42 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* Two intoxicated MSU students were cited for being minors in possession of alcohol after threatening a pizza delivery man over being shorted a sandwich around midnight.

* Two juveniles were charged with burglary after a man saw them leave his house and go into his backyard. The boys had marijuana pipes on them. The two were also cited for theft and possession of drug paraphernalia among other charges. They were released to their parents.

* A woman with "a hat pulled down over her face" didn't even slow down at a stop sign and almost hit another driver.

* A person said a neighbor's German shepherd mix uses their yard for a bathroom daily. The dog's owner was warned.

* A man said he accidently sat on his phone inadvertently dialing 911.

* A man said several people called in to a radio show saying they wanted to beat him up after he called in and expressed his opinion.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* Someone rifled through a man's vehicle over the weekend.

* A laptop and a wetsuit were stolen from a locked vehicle parked in an employee lot at the Yellowstone Club.

* A driver on Interstate 90 saw a flare go off in the cliffs near Frog Rock near the Trail Creek interchange around 4:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 07:36 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

A student reported that a hard drive was stolen from a locker at the high school.

A black bear was spotted in a park near Cherry Drive around 1 p.m.

Police returned a backpack that had been left in front of a home on East Griffin Drive to an elementary school student.

A woman reported that "things were amiss" in her home.

Someone turned an outside faucet to a home on, flooding the basement.

A woman heard noises outside her window.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

An inmate was taken back into custody after he broke a sprinkler head in the jail while he was being bonded out around 6:30 a.m.

A caller said neighbor children were being excessively loud -- so loud the caller "could not eat dinner nor watch television" around 7 p.m.

A driver that appeared to be driving while under the influence was having mechanical problems. A deputy gave him a ride to his home in Belgrade.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: 3refs
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:14 AM

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." Gault says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to Gault. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "

Gault nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get " Horned " before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. Gault throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

" Your badge. Show him your BADGE!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:01 AM

* A neighbor complained that a garage band was playing loudly. He said it was an ongoing situation and was "getting old."

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks was notified after someone reporting finding an elk that was shot on a golf course.

* Hunters had questions about who gets to tag an elk after two hunters shot and followed it when it didn't die and a third hunter shot it dead.

* A grizzly bear had two hunters up a tree after one of them shot an elk. The bear eventually left the hunters to eat the dead elk.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM

* A driver who was reported to be possibly intoxicated turned out to be delivering newspapers and not drunk.

* A group of kids who were reportedly destroying playground equipment in Kirk Park were merely playing.

A man called from a restaurant to report that he had been behaving bizarrely earlier in the day, yelling at neighbors. He was told that no one had called to report it and he went back to the Chinese restaurant where he had been eating.

* Police spoke with some men near Crabapple Drive about their flying activity. They told the men they had to operate their paraglider at or over 500 feet when flying over a populated area.

* A woman inadvertently dialed 911 while trying to take a picture with her cell phone.

* A man reported that his vehicle was damaged by a pumpkin.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A 14-year-old told a deputy that he "got bored and took (his parents') car for a drive." The boy did not have a license. He was cited and his parents were called to pick up the car.

* A man filled his backpack with wine and left a store in Big Sky around 10:30 a.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:59 PM

* A man pulled out a butcher knife to cut his meal after being served at a restaurant on North Seventh Avenue.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man whose vehicle got stuck in the snow around 1:30 a.m. wandered lost for about an hour before a deputy was able to find him in the Big Sky area. A bellman gave the man a ride to the resort where he had reservations.

* Parts of a drum set were stolen from a garage.

* A person, who appeared to be doing CPR on the side of Interstate 90 around 6:30 p.m., was cutting up a dead bear.

* A man burying a dead horse hit a natural gas line.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 05 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM

* A caller reported that a man had broken into his home on North 5th Avenue through a sliding glass door and the fell asleep in the house.

* A resident on South Black Avenue reported that his home was broken into by someone cutting through a screen window. Nothing was taken, but the thermostat had been lowered.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A man called to request that deputies arrest his son on suspicion of theft. The caller said his son may have stolen a wallet from a family friend and that his son is either very tired or on drugs.

* While a deputy was buying lunch at Albertsons, he witnessed an uncooperative shoplifter. Upon seeing the deputy, the offender ran and was subsequently tackled to the ground and placed under arrest. The deputy returned to recover his lunch.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 04 Oct 09 - 12:05 PM

Some men were heard singing together on an unintentional 911 call.

A dog outside of a business was growling at employees trying to enter the business.

A man dumped his trash in a business's dumpster after being warned that he wasn't allowed to use it.

An officer assisted someone in getting his identification back from a bouncer.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

Three horses without brands that were loose on Cottonwood Road were corralled.

A man accidentally sent a fax with personal information to the wrong number, then sent another fax asking the recipients to destroy the previous communication. A deputy informed the man that since no crime was committed, he couldn't subpoena the information.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 03 Oct 09 - 10:53 AM

People thought a man boiling water in a parking lot on North Seventh Avenue looked suspicious.

Loud music was causing vibrations in a building on Blackbird Drive around 11:30 p.m.

Big horn sheep were in the road near a curve on Gallatin Road, causing a hazard.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 01 Oct 09 - 10:01 AM

Neighbors on Buffalo Jump Road were in a dispute over a ditch. One said he wanted tear down his neighbor's dyke with his tractor. A deputy was able to get the neighbors to resolve the issue "without any damage to the property."

Three highly intoxicated men were chasing each other around outside, then inside a bar on North Rouse Avenue. All three gave police different accounts of what had taken place. All three were warned.

A man on Mandeville Lane and Wheat Drive reported a porcupine was getting close to a day care in the area.

A man on East Peach Street said his keys had been thrown into the bushes and his wife had locked him out of the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 05:16 PM

dropping napkins


that's funny

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 01:36 PM

From Rochester NH

Thursday, Sept. 3
3:02 a.m. — On Charles Street, four folks yell and scream, for those in bed, fat chance to dream.
7:29 a.m. — A dead skunk raises a stink on Washington Street.
1:45 p.m. — A lady being very disruptive at the library is served with a no-trespass order.
9:21 p.m. — A drunk in a Lafayette Street apartment disturbs everyone else in the building.
10:10 p.m. — At Cold Spring Manor skateboard park, teens yell and smoke and curse and lark.

Friday, Sept. 4
3:30 a.m. — A Chestnut Hill Road resident finds a man in his yard, next to his vehicles. The intruder mutters something about looking for a dog, and then takes off.
6:09 p.m. — There are four bunnies, enough for a pie, in a yard near the fairground. However, they are very well cared for and look like family pets, so the caller will look out for them until contacted by the owner.
10:40 p.m. — Citizens parked in Rochester Cemetery are "being romantic." They are told not to stop there again.
11:08 p.m. — Citizens in a vehicle near KFC are somewhat less than romantic. They fire an egg at another driver and splat him in the face
9:57 a.m. — A Governors Road mailbox has been mashed, with others possibly sharing the same fate.
1:23 p.m. — A woman who left her phone on the counter of a Hannaford pharmacy says that a young man told an employee he would run after her and give her it. Instead, he steals the phone.
1:28 p.m. — On Chestnut Street, one woman thumps another woman's door and yells in at her boyfriend..
10:39 p.m. — A shirtless man (here we go) and his girlfriend stand in the middle of Quaker Lane and scream. Someone has taken their keys.
11:10 p.m. — On Academy, there are eight noisy people with bottles in their hands.
Sunday, Sept. 6

8:44 a.m. — On Jackson Street, two dogs pick on one dog.
9:43 a.m. — A cyclist on Farmington Road receives an official warning for dropping a napkin.
10:39 a.m. — At Market Basket, a woman steals health and beauty aids.
5:53 p.m. — Teens yell and swear at a woman on Old Milton Road.
9:12 p.m. — Fireworks annoy residents on Nicole Street.
10:31 p.m. — Fireworks, music and people create a cacophony on Charles Street.
Monday, Sept. 7

1:08 a.m. — On Evergreen Lane a van drives over a lawn and clunks into an inflatable swimming pool which is now leaking.
8:48 a.m. — At Salmon Falls Estates a man going to pick up his child reports his ex "throwing things at him."
8:57 a.m. — At the Lilac Mall Hannaford's, tensions rise when a suspicious man, wearing headphones and a white shirt walks into the store "with some sort of device strapped to his chest." Police make contact and find it is an infant wrapped in a blanket.
5:15 p.m. — A George & Ed's Store, a lady is hitting a gentleman and screaming in his face.
6:06 p.m. — Music blasts on Moores Court. A woman gets a final warning.
Tuesday, Sept. 8

12:37 a.m. — On Knight Street a man rides a bike with no lights. On the plus side he does not drop a napkin.
1:09 p.m. — Graffiti blights a wall up at the Lilac Mall.
3:43 p.m. — A Cedarbrook Village woman wants to see an officer after her pet was injured in a dog fight.
6:03 p.m. — Fisticuffs break out near a pizza shop on North Main Street.
8:54 p.m. — Four men (probably napkin droppers) in the new Factory Court plaza keep harassing people as they walk by.
Wednesday, Sept. 9

7:03 a.m. — On Lafayette Street, half a dozen people (not yet in bed, perhaps, rather than early risers) yell and start to fight.
8:46 a.m. — A truck driver is concerned about a hawk he struck accidentally near the Country Club. It is injured and trying to fly. Soon after, a woman brings the wrapped up bird to the station, and the animal control officer passes it along to someone who can nurse it back to health.
12:40 p.m. — At the station a woman reports her dog was attacked by a neighbor's dog..
6:07 p.m. — A lady punches a gentleman right in the face on Joshua Street.
Thursday, Sept. 10

11:11 a.m. — On Periwinkle Drive, a man says a neighbor stole his cat. The neighbor then phones to assert the first caller has threatened to shoot him. Police say the cat spat should be settled in civil court.
11:45 a.m. — In the lobby, someone "wants to speak to an officer about the neighbor's children and balls coming over the fence."
1:36 p.m. — At the station, a man says he thinks his soon-to-be-ex-wife is loosening his brakes.
1:47 p.m. — At the station, a citizen says they would like to see a newspaper article on bike safety and cyclists' rules of the road, pertaining to traffic lights, one-way road signs, stop signs, riding on the sidewalk, pulling out into traffic and cutting off vehicles. Plus napkin dropping.
3:23 p.m. — Graffiti has appeared on the door of the fire station museum in East Rochester.
5:03 p.m. — In a possible identity theft/scam, a "creditor" keeps calling a very elderly lady to say she owes Barclay's Bank $989. The scamsters have her social security number.
8:09 p.m. — There is a dead fox on Cross Road.
8:16 p.m. — Loud gunplay scares Hansonville Road children trying to sleep. It is the SWAT team practicing night shooting
Friday, Sept. 11

7:52 a.m. — A homeless man is still using the facilities in the Professional Arts Building and scaring tenants.

8:40 a.m. — A dog yaps round the clock at Wellsweep Acres.
9:40 a.m. — A man is thought to be casing vehicles near Bank of America. He says he was waiting on a friend in the bank, and looking for loose change in a grassy area.
2:39 p.m. — A mother and teenage son slug it out at Cold Spring Manor.
5:02 p.m. — From Rochester Terrace MHP there is a report, via 911, of a teenage girl stripping for two older men. A second call is placed 10 minutes later which says, "Forget it. Forget it. They left. You missed it. The men put their clothes on and they left. "
6:34 p.m. — A woman on Chestnut Street yells at kids and then bawls obscenities at their remonstrating mother.
7:07 p.m. — A Soapstone Lane man is missing his wages and his medication.
10:32 p.m. — Fifteen kids at McClelland School try to lure a boy there to fight with them.
10:55 p.m. — A car is egged on Lowell and also on Old Dover Road, Double-yolked, so to speak. Police call on several purveyors of eggs in an effort to find the perpetrators.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 01:17 PM

A woman reported a man walked up to her, handed her a picture of "the sex offender" and stated he was John Wayne. The woman told police she thought the male looked like the sex offender suspect.

A man on East Valley Center Road said another man called him, told him he was the manager of another Outback Steakhouse, and said dirty things.

A horse was in Dry Creek Road at 2:17 p.m.

Two columns of smoke were seen from Sixteen Mile Road in northern Gallatin County. The fire was found to be in Meagher County.

Neighbors on Hitching Post Road reported people who recently moved into a nearby house and were holding parties there nightly. Deputies found people fighting, and two males fled the scene when they arrived. The two males were apprehended and cited. Three others were also cited with minor in possession.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 10:42 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

A 32-year-old Bozeman man was arrested on a warrant after he was seen hiding behind a tree near West College Street while police were investigating a fireworks complaint around 12:30 a.m. He was held on $535 bond.

Graffiti was painted on the back door of a business on North Seventh Avenue and several pallets were smashed.

A lit cigarette was dropped in a business' drop box on Stoneridge Drive and ignited a bandana. This was the second incident of its kind at the business. [I come from Montana, I wear a bandana...]

* A restaurant received a strange package in the mail.

A business's company vehicle was wrapped in duct tape while parked on North Tracy Avenue.

A 22-year-old woman was cited for shoplifting after attempting to steal lip balm from a business on North 19th Avenue.

A black bear was seen ambling down Bridger Drive around noon.

A llama was running on the Sourdough Trail and around the nearby neighborhood around 1:30 p.m.

An American flag was stolen from a residence on South Black Avenue.

A boy on juvenile probation was given a citation for stealing deli food from a store on North 19th Avenue.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following:

Someone at the National Guard Readiness Center in Belgrade "fat fingered" a keypad, mistakenly setting off a duress alarm there.

A black bear and her cub were seen in a tree near Sundance Drive around 10 a.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:38 AM

* Two teenage boys were reportedly sneaking around vehicles parked on North 27th Avenue around midnight. The boys were driving a tan-colored sedan and had left by the time officers arrived.

* A "huge, out of control," party was reported around 1 a.m. at the Hawks Ridge Condos. Officers warned the residents and arrested one partygoer for obstructing an officer.

* * A bear was reported early Saturday morning on the Linear Trail near East Garfield Street. By mid-morning the bear had made its way to South Grand Avenue and West Harrison Street, across from the Story Mansion. When the bear climbed into a tree, Fish and Game wardens were called.

* A resident on Anne Street reported that her neighbor's smoke alarm had been going off and no one was answering the door. Eventually an intoxicated man opened the door, explaining that he had been cooking and had forgotten that the stove was on.

* A woman called and asked if her sons were required to clean-up paintball remains on their neighbor's fence on 16th Avenue. The boys had been shooting paintball guns earlier in the day.
(Why would you have to call police to ask that question?)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 02:02 PM

An 18-year-old man was arrested for minor in possession after running down the street with a case of beer in his hand at about 1 a.m.

A man in a vehicle was warned for making employees at a coffee stand uncomfortable by "continually staring at them."

Someone called about neighbors who "continually use a buzz saw every day."

A man and woman stole produce from a community garden.

Officers responded to a report of gunshots on Annie Street, but found that residents had been lighting off fireworks.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A black cow on Jackrabbit Lane crossed the road in front of traffic several times.

A Park County deputy reported a black bear roaming around by Frontage Road.

A car was driving through yards and "spinning brodies" on Big Hole Street.

A man trying to sell magazines on Redwood Street was asking for food and money and didn't leave the neighborhood for a long time.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 12:57 PM

A disturbance during which someone was reportedly heard saying he was going to kill someone turned out to be a group of people playing capture the flag in a park.


Four dogs running loose hampered a worker's efforts to get fresh concrete poured on Sitting Bull Road around 2:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 03:24 PM

Rochester Times (NH)

4:05 p.m. — In East Rochester, a lady is out in front of her house yelling at a neighbor in front of "a ton of kids." A fight is expected at any moment. In just a few minutes, the event boasts 10 kids, two women still in each other's faces, and several gawkers.

7:07 p.m. — On Rochester Hill Road, a man in plaid shorts is being chased by a Jeep. Yelling breaks out.

9:08 p.m. — At the station a man would like to talk about a very serious matter. Some minutes later he calls 911 from the lobby to say that police are not taking the matter seriously, and notes that he cannot be out after 8:30 p.m.

6:36 a.m. — On South Main Street, a woman in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot wants to fight with a man.

11:05 a.m. — Two gentlemen slug it out on Summer Street.

11:05 a.m. — A pot pipe pops up in a playground at Cold Spring Manor.

11:17 a.m. — On Church Street, a woman is banging on a door after threatening to come over in the belief the caller stole her clothes.

1:17 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports her sister stole her pills and is selling them. Plus, she is offering to pay people in drugs for stealing clothes.

3:30 p.m. — — A lady has urinated on Lafayette Street, more in urgency than as a public statement. She is taken into protective custody and later released to a neighbor.

8:41 p.m.— A lady enters the lobby to report an assault by a gentleman. When pried for information, she says she is going to find and kill him.

11:52 p.m. — At the Knights of Columbus, a man wearing all black is investigated. He is not the Black Knight.

9:12 a.m. — Highland Street Dunkin' Donuts have a theft on video. No, 20 officers don't rush to respond.

2:35 p.m. — A property owner says a black dog from Jackson Street is leaving brown deposits.

3:33 p.m. — A 16-year-old seeking to turn himself in on a bench warrant obligingly hangs around for an hour until an officer is available.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM

A black bear was seen on North 22nd Avenue around 8:30 a.m. Bears were also seen on Hunters Way and Oliver Street a short while later.

A man was told to put on more appropriate clothing after he was seen outside his home wearing only his boxer shorts.

An elderly woman was having difficulty getting her escaped llama back in its pen around 8 p.m.

A woman who runs a daycare center was concerned after seeing an obviously sick fox in the yard.

A man who had hung up on a 911 dispatcher was shouting when a deputy arrived. He said he had misdialed the phone and was yelling for his dog.

A deputy was unable to track down two horses reportedly trotting down the eastbound lane of South 19th Avenue around 11 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 12:31 PM

Deputies responded to a residence near Three Forks for the second time in a few weeks for a report of gunshots in the area around 2:30 a.m. The man initially denied any wrongdoing but later admitted to "having come home and wanting to impress his possible future girlfriend with his marksmanship skills at night." The officers warned the man about his behavior and told him he'd be cited if it happened again.

A man who had had an argument with his wife earlier in the evening was found sleeping in his car in the driveway of his home around 2:30 a.m.

A deputy arrived at a residence "to find a very upset male who dialed the wrong number" after dispatchers received a 911 hang-up call from him.

A caller reported receiving some "weird" mail from California.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 11:00 AM

A man, who said he was punched, decided not to press charges against his assailant "after he realized he might have started it."

Police stopped a vehicle after seeing a man riding in back of it on a boat trailer. The driver was unaware of the rider.

A bear and her cubs were spotted in a tree in Hauser Park off Kagy Boulevard around 2:30 p.m.

A person was warned for shooting a bow and arrow within city limits.

A report of a fire in an apartment building on Durston Road turned out to be someone who had burned their dinner.

A resident of Yellowtail Road found a golf cart high-centered in their backyard and thought it might be stolen.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:24 PM

In the Halcyon days before parking meters and attendants it was the job of the police to attend to badly parked cars.
One bobby got fed up with issuing tickets to a persistant offender who left his Roller parked in the same place every day with his dog in it, but, as he was a Freemason friend of the Station commander, got away with it each time.
One day, instead of issuing the ticket, the bobby pushed several pieces of laxative chewing gum (EXLAX??) through the partially open window of the car, which apeared to solve the problem!
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:06 PM

* A cab driver reported at 2 a.m. that a passenger jumped out of his cab on W. Cameron Bridge Road and ran after refusing to pay his fare. The runner's flip-flops were later found in a nearby field.

* A movie theater clerk reported receiving a counterfeit $20 bill. The man who paid with the bill was located inside the theater. Officers questioned him and found two outstanding warrants; he was arrested and taken to the Gallatin County Detention Center.


The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A caller reported hearing loud noises and yelling near Frontage Road at around midnight. Officers found neighbors playing a late-night volleyball game. The players were asked to quiet down.

* A man in a white truck reportedly drove up to a house on Dooley Lane and asked the resident if he'd like "any of his fresh vegetables." The resident said the man got back in his truck and drove away, but that "it was very strange."

* A 20-pound pig was reportedly running loose on Thorpe Road. The caller was concerned the pig might cause a traffic hazard.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM

A hound dog, which officers had previously attempted to capture, was baying around 2 a.m. on a hill near Bozeman Deaconess Hospital.

A very intoxicated man was taken home by officers around 2 a.m. after he was found passed out in shrubbery on North Fifth Avenue. After arriving at his home, the man then yelled obscenities at officers "for unknown reasons."

A male driver was cited for several traffic offenses after he missed the turn at Oak Street and Ferguson Avenue and landed his car in a small pond around 6 a.m.

A man who was yelling and cursing at his German shepherd was weaving and walking into traffic on Huffine Lane. The dog "was trying to get away from him" and "trying to get into vehicles," forcing cars to slam on their brakes to avoid both man and dog.

A vinyl sign was stolen from the Campus Ministry building.

A woman who advertised for a roommate on Craigslist said she is receiving "strange" e-mails.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A woman said two men in a red Durango were driving slowly through the neighborhood, as if "casing" the houses, around noon.

Deputies responded to a "heated roadside exchange" between an elderly male driver and a female driver on U.S. Highway 191.

Deputies received a call from the airport about a "heated argument" between a customer and an employee.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:13 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* A woman thought a man in a blue pickup with a guitar on Annie Street was strange.

* A female driver wanted police to speak with a male driver about his "gestures" and almost cutting her off a couple of times on North 19th Avenue.

* A seemingly intoxicated man, who was having difficulty spelling his last name, wanted to speak with a sergeant regarding some stolen guns.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* A deputy stopped to check on a man who had fallen asleep in his car at the Cameron Bridge Fishing Access and was too intoxicated to drive around midnight. A family member picked him up.

* A deputy answered questions from a caller about a mountain lion spotted near Manhattan [town near Bozeman].

* A caller reported that a neighbor's 10 puppies had been constantly whining for three days.

* A man said he was hit in the mouth by his boss while in a vehicle.

* A caller said that a transient had "overstayed her welcome" and would like her "moved along."

* A man reported hearing his neighbor using the vacuum that he recently reported stolen.

* Deputies received several reports of noisy fireworks in the River Rock area around 10 p.m. but "the fireworks show was over before deputies located the source."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:45 AM

* A note was left on a parked car and "some kind of dressing, possibly ranch."

* A shaggy dog wandering around South Church Avenue around 10 a.m. looked lost, according to a caller.

* Police found a man, who came to another man's house trying to sell magazines, passed out in a neighbor's yard. The caller, who dispatchers said was "very upset (and) belligerent himself - yelling and cussing," said the magazine salesman was highly intoxicated and was rude and aggressive when asked to leave.

* Another magazine salesman also got belligerent when a woman told him she was closing the door. The man had handed the woman a note that said something about smoking pot and asking for a beer.

* A man accidently hit the emergency button in an elevator with a grocery bag.

* Neighbors were talking loudly on their front porch around 11 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:27 PM

A caller wanted to know what could be done about some confiscated chickens.

A man accused another man of having his coat, which had been stolen a year ago from a house in Louisiana. An officer explained to the accuser that the manufacturer had made more than one of that particular coat.



A woman wanted to know what she could do about a garage band playing loudly most of the day.

A man hunting doves misread a map and accidentally ended up on private land where he did not have permission to be. He apologized and left immediately.

A bear was spotted in a motor home on Juniper Drive around 10 p.m. No one was inside the camper.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 30 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A 4-year-old girl called 911, reported that her stuffed cat Garfield had died and hung up. A deputy responded to the girl's home and, with her parents, explained proper 911 usage.

A man hired to clean a foreclosed home on Huffine Lane reported a foul smell inside the home. Deputies found a dead cat under the couch.

A deputy responded to a report of a large, angry badger outside a man's home on Buffalo Orchard Trail.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 09:56 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

An angry man was stomping around a store on North 19th Avenue. He was walking in circles and "tore something up" there.

A report of toddlers playing perilously close to an irrigation ditch turned out to be boys ranging in age from 5 to 10. They were not in danger.

A caller complained that city workers were damaging gravestones while mowing in Sunset Hills Cemetery.

A woman came home to find her neighbor's children in her house.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

A man jumped out in front of a vehicle and began yelling on Amsterdam Road around 1:30 a.m.

Gravel was stolen from a homeowners' association pit.

Firefighters arrived at a home to find lots of smoke but no substantial fire after the homeowners put a chicken in the oven, left the residence and the chicken burned.

A caller said there were some people staying at a campground who were "spooky."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Arnie
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 12:18 PM

Thanks Alice -I'd completely forgotten about the old dial-up phones! As you say, in that case the no. should be 111 and if that was once an area code then the emergency services should have had taken over the code - bit late now I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:08 AM

From the History of 911 Emergency...

The new emergency number had to be three numbers that were not in use in the United States or Canada as the first three numbers of any phone number or area code, and the numbers had to be easy to use.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:05 AM

Remember old rotary phone dials?

One is the shortest number to DIAL on a phone... it should have been 111 instead of 911 to dial the fastest.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Arnie
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:37 AM

Slight thread drift but I was wondering why you dial 911 in the States? In the UK it's 999 which seems a bit easier, as you can do it without moving your finger from one number to another. Does 999 clash with some other service in the US?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 25 Aug 09 - 10:30 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man tried to kick a vehicle that was parked on North Seventh Avenue around 12:30 a.m. He failed to do so.

* Two intoxicated men told an officer that they lost their friend somewhere between The Scoop bar and her residence.

* Two women, who were arguing about a man -- one's son, the other's husband -- were separated after the man's mother reported her daughter-in-law came into the room yelling and then threw tea on her.

* A small puppy running loose in a building set off a burglar alarm around 6 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* A woman asked for assistance turning off a fan in her house that had been on for several days. She said she'd called dozens of people and no one could help her and she was freezing.