BS: Stinking English barbeques

Subject: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:44 PM

Why is it that the majority of barbeques in England stink beyond belief? We have to keep our back door and windows closed because of some oiks in the road below. Is it because they use cheap ready made fuel bought from the diy malls? Argentina simply doesn't have this problem, and the Anglo - Argentine Society Gran Asado where they cook for 500 plus people doesn't smell at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:33 PM

Same problem in U. S. and Canada.
The main problem is failure to clean the barbecue properly after use and before the next session. Many stink even when not in use.
Use of oily starter fluids contributes.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:38 PM

And of course I was forgetting, cheapest burgers chicken and sausages, and not proper cuts of beef and lamb!

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:21 PM

Probably best to go live in Argentina then... :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:27 PM

A revolting cultural artifact, to be endured rather than enjoyed. An avoided if at all possible.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:39 PM

Stinkier the better, so long as it's good stink not friggin' Lindaburgers or some such abomination. I live within sniffing distance of a fantastic Turkish takeaway and I swear my life is enriched beyond compare by the smell of cubed lamb on a hot grill... plays havoc with my waistline, mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:47 PM

What's this "stink" - the smell of cooking meat? Your problem is??

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:53 PM

Nothing wrong with good sausage, lean ground beef, lamb, pork, poultry or fish properly done on on a barbecue grill.

Unfortunately, good outdoor cooks are rare- hence stinks that demand a call to the Nuisance bylaw enforcers are all too common.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:59 PM

"Nuisance bylaw" that sounds more like US than UK.

Don't you know that (while it may be bad for you) it is fat that carries the flavour in meat which is why a good Aberdeen Angus steak is marbled and belly pork is the tastiest cut on a pig?

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: bubblyrat
Date: 10 May 09 - 04:24 PM

And,of course,if the steak is from Morayshire,its flavour comes from its Elgin Marbles ! But seriously,folks,you know,it's the preparation,cleaning,and operation of the barbecue equipment,as practised by myself and Derek Droscher at "Old Keepers" this Easter,(with help from the other "Richard",of course),that makes / made all the difference.I often find that the smoke from a BBQ can be enhanced by the addition of leaves from apple trees,rosemary,mint,thyme,etc ( and damp hickory chips,of course),sprinkled over the hot coals / embers,and if everyone,including the neighbours,is in an advanced state of inebriation,this can help to soothe the olfactory responses also.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:07 PM

Bonzo3legs...... guess you might smell a bit on a barbecue too!!!!!! Or STINK even!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:42 PM

What is a Lindaburger????

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Emma B
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:50 PM

this is!

I confess I like good vegetarian food but, I've never seen the reason for 'dressing it up' to resemble the meat version

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Gurney
Date: 10 May 09 - 07:22 PM

Emma, I can understand anyone BEING a vegetarian, for reasons both moral and physical, but LIKING veggy food is a bit beyond my grasp!

(:<}

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Emma B
Date: 10 May 09 - 07:28 PM

oh Gurney - I'm an 'unreformed omnivore' but good food is good food and there are some delicious non-meat recipes

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: GUEST
Date: 11 May 09 - 12:33 AM

Fair enough, Emma. It is probable that your taste-buds are more highly developed than mine.

If there has been a thread on veggy recipes, I never opened it.



Why is it vegetarian and not herbivore? Political correctness?

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 11 May 09 - 02:35 AM

"I've never seen the reason for 'dressing it up' to resemble the meat version"

Pretty simple. Most vegetarians are vegetarian for ethical reasons, yet many still enjoy junk food and the taste of meat, same as everyone else. Fake meats may not be great, but to the vegetarian who still hankers after meat, it's straight a substitute.

I personally *do* eat meat (including game, free-range fowl, and fish), but I don't eat processed shit meat, so if I fancy 'junk food' I sometimes buy vegetarian substitutes myself. Tivall frankfurters are my favourite.

Likewise, I for one have never seen the point of meat flavoured crisps, prefering straight potato flavour, but some people like 'em. I've also never seen the point in much highly processed and frozen (food be it meat-'based' or otherwise), but there's a massive market out there for it all, so I guess someone must be digging it!

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:32 AM

Frozen food is convenient. I actually prefer frozen peas to fresh ones. And I would simply not be bothered to make a chicken Kiev from fresh. But many processed items do not begin to approach the flavour of "fresh".

Interestingly on the BBC4 farming prog last night there was coverage of the way breeding programmes for Aberdeen Angus cattle have improved the yield while allegedly retaining the flavour and texture.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Gurney
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:03 AM

And why did my cookie vanish at 12.33am?

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: mouldy
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:25 AM

I think of a BBQ as a cooking tool - mine has a sort of oven underneath where spuds can be done if the fire's hot enough. I often cooked fish wrapped in foil under there, as I really don't like the emphasis there seems to be on cremating as much cheap meat as possible in this country. I'm not a big meat eater anyway, and everybody cooks too much! However, you can do much more than that...it's only a source of heat. I think a lot of the horrid whiffs come from the over use of lighting fluids and the like. Briquettes are a pain to get going. I prefer lumpwood, although it doesn't burn as long. I have got a cylindrical gizmo into which you put paper and charcoal, and which acts to draw and light the small amount therein. You then release it all onto your barbeque and stoke it up.

We started our BBQ (braai) experience in S. Africa, where NOBODY would think of slapping a piece of pink frozen cardboard onto the flames. If you WANT something to spit fat and keep it going, you use boerewors, which is like a big cumberland sausage made of coarsely ground meat, spices, and small chunks of fat. Cook it long and slow and break bits off to serve. Otherwise it's chops and steaks of various meats. Serve the meat with salads and/or pap 'n' gravy. Some of the best steak I had was cooked quite fast over huge pine cones we had picked up in a park I never saw anyone using charcoal in those days. It was all wood that had been gathered. We had a convenient blue gum (eucalyptus variety) next to us, which chucked bits down every time the wind blew!

We journeyed back overland for 4 months, and I used an open fire and a heavy mesh grill frame a lot of the time as my cooker (dry elephant dung is very easy to light!) The grill frame was then built into a bbq at this house. The original one was rebuilt a couple of years ago, and the modern insert inserted, but the grill sheet still comes camping with me sometimes for use in impromptu sessions.

However I only used it once last year now I am on my own most of the time. Some time (hopefully) this summer I am getting my kitchen removed for work on the floor. This could be the perfect opportunity for a bit of al fresco living!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 May 09 - 05:24 AM

Having smelled BBQ in both US and UK have to say it seems more noxious in UK. Perhaps because the houses are so close together in UK. It is very strong because of the proximity and it does smell of lighter fluid. Once the meat gets going I don't mind it, but my partner (a vegetarian) does.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 May 09 - 05:27 AM

My neighbours are I think Singaporean, and they seem very keen on BBQ's which smell excellent.

The thought of elephant dung is less appetising, but I have never smelled it burn.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Micca
Date: 11 May 09 - 06:18 AM

One of the (I suspect main)causes is probably cooking oil residues not being cleaned off properly and being converted to Acrolein by overheating, or just the plain overheating of oils and fats (Look here )The smell of Acrolein is memorable (once smelled never forgotten) and is just that horrible overheated oil smell you get from some bar-b-qs

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 11 May 09 - 01:29 PM

Sounds like many of you are confusing grilling with barbeque. Barbeque is not hamburgers and sausages done over coals on a grill - that is grilling. When you cook over the coals you are going to drip grease onto the coals and create a lot of smoke and the smell of burning fat.

BBQ is the art of slow cooking over indirect heat - coals or preferably wood. The meat is placed to one side of the cooker and the heat source to the other. The smoke and heat cook the meat slowly. The dripping fat does not fall onto the heat source so you only get the smell of burning wood and cooking meat - not the stink of burning fat and flesh.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 11 May 09 - 01:34 PM

Give me an Argentine asado anytime.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 May 09 - 02:21 PM

Eating in the garden can be great, if the weather is right.   But I believe that most homes have a special room called a kitchen, which is a much better place to cook anything worth eating.

If you're on the beach or out in the wilderness fair enough. But in a back garden?

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 11 May 09 - 02:30 PM

"believe that most homes have a special room called a kitchen, which is a much better place to cook anything worth eating."

Obviously you have never tasted REAL barbeque!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 11 May 09 - 02:56 PM

I know that rank classic crumby English "We're pretending to have a BBQ on a cloudy Spring day" smell. It's a carcinogenic one fueled by petro-chemicals and which stinks out your washing forever.

BUT!!! Have a BarBy (as in barbeydoll - I think that's the correct term) with proper Australians and it's brilliant. THEN you get whole salmon, butternut squash with brown sugar and butter, charred peppers, minted spring lamb and all sorts of excellent shite. Nt a flaccid wimpy in sight...

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: PoppaGator
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:26 PM

From mouldy: "I have got a cylindrical gizmo into which you put paper and charcoal, and which acts to draw and light the small amount therein. You then release it all onto your barbeque and stoke it up."

Absolutely essential grill/BBQ tool if you ~ like me ~ dislike the smell of burnt petroleum with your outdoor meals. It's called a "chimney" and is widely available in the US (and on the internet) if not in the UK "3D" marketplace.

Now, if the "stink" to which you object is the aroma of meat cooking, that's another problem entirely. But if it's the stink of lighter-fluid that sets you off, you could buy charcoal-lighter chimneys for all your outdoor-cooking neighbors without going broke.

Of course, you'd have to teach them how to use the things (not too difficult), and well as convince them that their current practice is affecting the taste of their food even more grieviously than it is offending your olfactory sensibilities.

Off to search for links for pricex and info.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: PoppaGator
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:34 PM

Intructional video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHXcibEJ1lc

Further details from the Grilling Guru:

http://www.firepit-and-grilling-guru.com/charcoal-chimney.html

A few models for sale:

http://www.google.com/products?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4GGLD_enUS311US311&q=charcoal+chimney&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=Nn0ISsKqGovhtgeS-

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:35 PM

I never smelled a barbecue I didn't like.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:52 PM

Australia is what I had in mind when I wrote "on the beach or out in the wilderness, fair enough", Crow Sister.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 May 09 - 07:15 PM

I think you will find that they have built some towns in Australia by now.

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Rowan
Date: 11 May 09 - 09:50 PM

Sounds like many of you are confusing grilling with barbeque.

Probably yet another example of communities separated by a common language.

Outdoor cooking, whether over a solid plate or a mesh grill, of anything (fish, flesh or fowl, veggies or other plant or fungal entities, is routinely described as a barbecue (if being formal), barbie (if being colloquial) or BBQ (if being cryptic) when in Oz. And, routinely, I've not seen the need for any form of liquid hydrocarbons (commonly referred to as "scout spirit") to start a fire, unless I'm using a drip torch as a firefighter. What happened to careful use of a bit of newspaper (or bark tinder, if in the bush) some kindling and a solo match?

My favourite BBQ plate is one I made from 1/2" steel bar, with the bars separated by the width of a match; the size of the bar makes for good heat retention (for searing, if cooking quickly) while fat (some of which is essential for full flavour to be tasted) can pass through the gaps onto coals. An adjacent solid sheet of 3/8" thick plate is best for onions and other items that might drop through the gaps.

But my favourite is a leg of two-tooth (weaned lamb that is not fully grown into mutton; called hogget in some places) roasted in a cast iron camp oven (called a Dutch oven by those who live between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. If I have to be mobile, I'll take the Bedourie oven instead of the camp oven. Bedourie ovens are formed from spun and/or pressed steel sheet and were invented at Bedourie Station (what North Americans might call a cattle ranch) in Queensland; they don't break if mistreated or fall from the cook's clobber.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: mouldy
Date: 12 May 09 - 04:37 AM

...and if you've got a chiminea, especially one with a rack in it, you can wrap stuff in foil and cook it there, as well as keeping warm. You can slip in a little metal dish with some sliced onions etc in and a slosh of whatever oil or cooking fluid you want, and they will cook in no time. The danger is of burning if the fires too hot. However, mine tends to get really stoked up after the BBQ has died down and the temperature drops.

By the way, "braai" is Afrikaans/Dutch for grill! What we would call a BBQ is referred to as "braaivleis" (literally "grilled meat"). we used to go to a lot of "bring 'n' braai" get togethers where the hosts lay on the accompaniments, and everyone brings their own choice of meats. Used to end up with all the males gathered around a huge half-barrel braai, cooling the flames with beer as and when necessary!

I have promised myself a Cobb cooker one day. It does EVERYTHING with a handful of charcoal, and no fat falls onto the coals.

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 12 May 09 - 04:05 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNG4FCmNtrM

See here the real thing!

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: Rowan
Date: 13 May 09 - 07:36 PM

we used to go to a lot of "bring 'n' braai" get togethers where the hosts lay on the accompaniments, and everyone brings their own choice of meats. Used to end up with all the males gathered around a huge half-barrel braai, cooling the flames with beer as and when necessary!

You reminded me of the following little tale, mouldy, which I've posted before but it seems relevant here.

The Tong Master...

Jeff was at the barbecue and Joel was at the barbecue and I was at the barbecue; three men standing around a barbecue, sipping beer, staring at sausages, rolling them backwards and forwards, never leaving them alone.

We didn't know why we were at the barbecue; we were just drawn there like moths to a flame. The barbecue was a powerful gravitational force, a man magnet. Joel said, "The thin ones could use a turn." I said, "Yeah, I reckon the thin ones could use a turn." Jeff said, "Yeah, they really need a turn." It was a unanimous turning decision.

Jeff was the Tong-Master, a true artist. He gave a couple of practice snaps of his long silver tongs, SNAP SNAP, before moving in, prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of his wrist, rolling them onto their little backs. A lesser tong-man would've flicked too hard; the sausages would've gone full circle, back to where they started. "Nice", I said. The others went "Yeah."

Kevin was passing us, he heard the sizzle-siren-song of the snags; the barbecue was calling, beckoning, "Kevinnnnn ...come." He stuck his head in and said, "Any room?" We said, "Yeah" and began the barbecue shuffle. Jeff shuffled to the left, Joel shuffled to the left, I shuffled to the left, Kevin slipped in beside me; we sipped our beer.

Now there were four of us staring at sausages, and Jeff gave me the nod, my cue. I was second-in-command, and I had to take the raw sausages out of the plastic bag and lay them on the barbecue; not too close together, not too far apart, curl them into each other's bodies like lovers - fat ones, thin ones, herbed and continental. The chipolatas were tiny; they could easily slip down between the grill bars, falling into the molten hot bead-netherworld below. Carefully I laid them sideways ACROSS the grill; clever thinking. Jeff snapped his tongs with approval; there was no greater barbecue honour.

P.J. came along. He said, "Looking good, looking good." The irresistible lure of the barbecue had pulled him in too. We said, "Yeah" and did the shuffle, left, left, left, left, he slipped in beside Kevin; we sipped our beer. Five men, lots of sausages. Joel was the Fork-pronger; he had the fork that pronged the tough hides of the Bavarian bratwursts and he showed a lot of promise. Stabbing away eagerly, leaving perfect little vampire holes up and down the casing.

P.J. was shaking his head; he said, "I reckon they cook better if you don't poke them." There was a long silence; you could have heard a chipolata drop. This newcomer was a rabble-rouser, bringing in his crazy ideas from outside. He didn't understand the hierarchy; first the Tong-master, then the Sausage-layer, then the Fork-pronger, and everyone below was just a watcher. Maybe eventually they'll move up the ladder, but for now - don't rock the Weber!

Dianne popped her head in; "Hmmm, smells good", she said. She was trying to jostle into the circle; we closed ranks, pulling our heads down and our shoulders in, mumbling "Yeah yeah yeah", but making no room for her. She was keen, going round to the far side of the barbecue, heading for the only available space . . . the gap in the circle where all the smoke and ashes blew. Nobody could survive the gap; Dianne was going to try. She stood there stubbornly, smoke blinding her eyes, ashes filling her nostrils, sausage fat spattering all over her arms and face. Until she couldn't take it anymore; she gave up, backed off.

Kevin waited till she was gone and sipped his beer. We sipped our beer; yeah. Jeff handed me his tongs. I looked at him and he nodded. I knew what was happening; I'd waited a long time for this moment - the abdication. The tongs weighed heavy in my hands, firm in my grip - was I ready for the responsibility? Yes, I was. I held them up high and they glinted in the sun. "Don't forget to turn the thin ones" Jeff said as he walked away from the barbecue, disappearing toward the house. "Yeah" I called back, "I will, I will." I snapped them twice, SNAP SNAP, before moving in, prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of my wrist, rolling them back onto their little bellies.

I was a natural; I was the TONG-MASTER. But only until Jeff got back from the toilet.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Stinking English barbeques
From: mouldy
Date: 14 May 09 - 05:01 AM

Love it! It's SO true! We used to be relegated to salad duty or beer gofers!

I have a photo somewhere of my dear departed husband at the BBQ, under an umbrella while the rest of us stayed inside. Ian used to moan if people didn't want to come outside to eat, as he said that was the whole point of it. In fact we used to get frog-marched outside! That's why I bought the chiminea in the first place - we used to get really cold sometimes.
I'm actually going to one tonight, with cool weather and showers over our part of the UK. However, it's always the same at this one, with meat of the chop/sausage/burger/kebab variety. I usually eat a couple of pieces and stick to the veg!

Today's Independent has a "10 best barbeques" page in their Life section today - and the Cobb is featured. It's so blooming expensive, about £99, but I mean to have one someday. It runs for 3 hours on just a few briquettes. T'was invented in S. Africa, I believe.

Andrea