BS: The best words in the best order

Subject: BS: The best words in the best order
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:00 AM

That's what poetry is, according to Coleridge. The difficulties of getting anywords in any order (as evidenced in another thread) led me to wonder what folk song would have been like if it had been left to me to write it.

The water is wet, and I can't get across,
And Ryanair routes don't run that way.
Won't somebody fetch me a two-seater boat?
(And maybe I'll learn to write poems one day)

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 11:38 AM

Yes, Jack. We don't give the originators of a work enough credit. Getting the thing started - establishing the form, the rhythm and the chronology - is a lot of work.

I've never had any talent as a poet myself.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 11:51 AM

My family has been writing folksongs for years and years, but they've never made the big time and we don't know why:

As I was a-fondling
Miss Mary's pretty mountains
Up rode her father
And caught me in my mountin'
Gotta get the hell outa here
He's got a shotgun-o
He's got a shotgun-o
And birdshot hurts like hell.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 12:19 AM

I was mooching round a bit
on me own like
Tramping up bloody big 'ills
and traipsing through smelly bogs
When I sees what I thought were a load of plonkers in yellow jumpers
but they weren't
It were them bloody flowers that bring me hayfever on

Wordsworth? Pah!

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 03:07 AM

Paul Dirac once said physics is about making very difficult things easy to understand, poetry is making simple things difficult to understand.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 10:57 AM

Look, if I should croak
Remember that where ever they plant me
That'll be England.
See, as I rot away
I'll fertilise that dirt
And because I'm English
It'll be even more fertile.
Like adding a load of manure or something.


(This is the unknown original of Rupert Brooke's poem.)

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 11:22 AM

I always wondered what the song writer meant by the song
"She'll be coming round the mountain, when she comes"

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Peace
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 02:53 PM

It's to do with sex I think.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: SharonA
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 08:40 PM

I know where I'm going,
And I know who's going with me.
Got my GPS,
And I pick up no hitchhikers...

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 11:11 PM

Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we're going
Although she is actually my Grandfather's fifth wife
And is is about forty years younger than he is
I heard my previous Grandmother call her a "trophy wife"
And a "dumb-ass blond bimbo on the make".

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 09 - 11:24 AM

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Man, this worthless shit never seems to end!

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Alice
Date: 11 Oct 09 - 01:18 PM

All around the mulberry bush
darn animals keep chasin' through my yard
I'm putting their crap back over the fence
and pop the neighbor in his schnozzle.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:58 AM

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffett
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And she beat it to death
With a spoon

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:54 AM

The best words in the right order..........

You have won

In life's great gamble

You are a winner

The lottery doesn't give a shit

If you are saint or sinner.

That would do me, Haha

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 07:04 AM

Oh! young Lochinvar is come out of the west,
The weather's cold, he wears just a vest;
And under his good kiltie, he boxers has none.
He rides all commando and freezes his bone.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: quokka
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 08:33 AM

Peace you Murderer!! have you never read Charlotte's Web??? you poor deprived creature. Also recommended is Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes ;)

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 08:45 AM

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jill came down with half a crown,
But not for carrying water.

Simple Simon met a pieman,
Going to the Fair,
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
What have you got there ?
PIES you simple pillock.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Scorpio
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 09:12 AM

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. After that, they are on their own.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 08:11 PM

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down, and thing which way,
To have a roll in the sweet hay.
Thus, though we cannot make our sum
Stand still, you've got one cute bum.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:42 AM

Candy is dandy,
But liquor is quicker. [ Ogden Nash ]

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 06:05 PM

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me
And what the use of this poem is, only God can see.

***************

Now o'er one half the world nature seems dead
And o'er the other half doesn't seem to be.

*************

What a piece of work is Man!
And women are even finer pieces!

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM

How about Phil Och's song "CHANGES."

Those flowery words have always seemed to me to boil down to something like this:

"C'mere, chick. Sit down
and we'll think about the good times and why I'm no longer the guy you fell for.

Leaves die in the fall. So does romance.

It was fun while we were young but I don't feel the same any more.

The world seems to be spinning and my mind's kind of hazy. (Could be the pot or the LSD. Or maybe the new chick I met last night.)

Lust can burn hot and heavy and then, hey, next morning - Poof! - it's gone. What're ya gonna do?

You'll cry because I'm outta here, but have a shot of Mad Dog and I'll kiss you goodbye.

Subject: RE: BS: The best words in the best order
From: Paul Burke
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 06:56 PM

Let's count the number of different ways I can love you-
Long and thick at both ends when you're not looking,
Ordinarily when the light's on, and quietly outside.
I don't pay you, 'cos you can't stop me,
And I don't do it dirty if you don't like it.
When I'm hot I like snuff and kiddystuff I think.
I like old dead vicars and blowjobs,
And I laugh and cry about it.
And God, I like necrophilia too.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)