BS: A Final Walmart Comment

Subject: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:28 AM

I'm not real sure which joke I should start this thread with so let me leave it to you since.............

Suitable Comment Is Lacking

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:46 AM

I note that several models come with tasteful pinstriping. I wonder if you could get a nice flame job as an option?

Speaking of flame jobs, be sure to scroll to the bottom of that page..........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 08:31 AM

One more reason to be cremated and scattered on the sidewalks inthe first snow storm of the season. The names alone are hysterically funny. Note: no child's casket. I guess we should be grateful.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 08:50 AM

Spaw, it's better than that-- they also stock a pet-sized cremation urn-holder in the stores' pet dept. Add the backyard woodstove furnaces and...... whaddaya get-- new home business in "rural" areas like mine and some of yourn.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:00 AM

I don't see why they don't sell them in stores. Geez, what a neat gift for Mother's or Father's Day! Or buy your parents a pair for Christmas!

Just imagine the surprise and delight when your ol' Dad unwraps his very own coffin...or little Timmy playing with his toys among the folds of the lining.

Hmmm...if the kid outgrows his, are there "gently used" shops you can take them to? Or might Goodwill accept it as a donation?

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: gnomad
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:12 PM

Are steel coffins common in the States? I have never heard of such a thing in Britain, though a quick Google has just shown me that they are available.

I must be getting old, ten years ago I wouldn't have given a hoot, now I am fascinated. What makes people choose such a thing?

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:15 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hysterical. I might have expected WalMart would do this. They are capable of doing anything in the pursuit of money.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:58 PM

These look a lot more appealing - Somerset Willow Coffins

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:30 PM

Well I thought "what next" just like you told me to.

How about Walmart whore house, Walmart dating service, Walmart weddings and honey moons and divorces, Walmart family planning, Walmart legal servies, Walmart space travel..

possibilities are endless.



for the first time people are actually taking orders from their toothbrushes

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 07:00 PM

LOL! I love that British humour.

Funnily enough, though, it's actually a very good idea to brush your tongue, and I do so regularly on the advice of my dentist who knows what she is talking about, I can assure you. The results are good too, specially when you use a couple of drops of oil of oregano on the tongue. It kills those little creatures that cause your tongue to get coated. It also kills the germs associated with colds, flu, etc...

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 07:24 PM

I would suggest a Walmart web forum for people who want to fight about the BNP and damn near everything else. They could call it "pricklyprigswithpompousopinions.com"

Funny stuff from both The Wyz and Tam!!! Thanks!!!!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Don Firth
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 07:29 PM

From dating services and weddings all the way to coffins.

From the womb to the tomb.

Don Firth

P. S. They're probably working on "From the erection to the Resurrection. . . ."

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 07:49 PM

They just anounced they were going to compete with Amazon more. Wonder if Amazon will now branch out with their own end-of-life domiciles.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 07:51 PM

Walmart has no imagination

be comfortable until you go

Got mine all picked out

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 08:31 PM

Is there an American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Worms ?

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:36 PM

Leadfingers, at the top of the page, it does say "Need dinner ideas?"

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Janie
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:43 PM

Spitting red wine all over the keyboard!!!

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:44 PM

HMMM, changed to an add for dog and cat food the second time I looked- sorry, worms.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:11 PM

Is there a stainless model available that may keep those worms at bay for at least a century?
I think that I should be cremated and my ashes buried in my 25 year old, well skuffed, guitar case.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 07:01 AM

My Mom...

Am I going to really type this out loud?


So embarrassing.


Wants to be












dipped in chocolate before she is buried.


Really!

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 09:16 AM

Dark or milk????

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 09:17 AM

The coffins are all marked "new". Is there a market for used coffins?

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: frogprince
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:31 PM

I would much, much prefer a little chocolate coating on a live lady!

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:41 PM

Milk


Sins.... market for used ones... ROFLMAO

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 04:09 PM

Well folks, you CAN buy a used coffin. Also used graves. You have to get the coffin "under the counter" because of some silly Health Department rules, but some years ago my very own brother owned one (used once by a little old lady on her last train ride out of California -- really!). Graves have been re-used for years -- see the "Gravedigger" scene in "The Scottish Play."

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:04 PM

Chongo is renting out his coffin at a monthly charge to anyone who's interested in advance of his own demise. He says it's a good way of raising a little extra cash, and that after he kicks off he won't really care who else was in it.

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:26 PM

Also, the longer he stays alive, the more money he can earn with that coffin.

It's a strong additional motivation for extending one's lifespan, don'tcha think?

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:47 PM

Pat Sky wrote this one a long time back and its my personal theme song. Its called "Undertaker Blues"

Now I'm just a plain old country hick,
And I don't mean to make you sick,
But I got a few words that I'd like to say.
It's about this undertaker man
Who told me that he had a plan
To put me in the ground on Lay-A-Way.


Well it all started couple year ago
When I met this Doctor in O-hi-o
Who told me that I really had it bad.
He said, "Son, your veins is turning blue
And Emphysema is a killin' you."
And he said, at most, three months is all I had.


Now friends as you can plainly see,
That scared the HELL right outa' me
And for a month or so I really had the Blues.
Then one fine day I took a look
And sure enough in my phone book
I saw this sign that says,"Come In and Choose."


"Joe's Undertaker's"..We have Lots,
Of Coffins, Grass, and Burial Plots,
We fix faces back the way they came.
Formaldehyde and Alchohol
We'll pickle you, one and all
Black or White, to us you're all the same.


So I went in and sat right down
And pretty soon this man came 'round,
Said he'd like to take some measurements.
So I looks at him and says, "Okay"
He starts measurin' right away,
Measures up 8300 dollars and 19 cents!


Now friends, as you can plainly see,
I'm as healthy as any boy could be.
And that Doctor he just sits and wonders why.
So I look at him and I say, "Doc,"
"I know this comes as quite a shock,
But the truth is, I just can't afford to die."

I've had to update the amount over the tears to keep up!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A Final Walmart Comment
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:19 AM

uhhmm   the gravedigger's scene is in the danish play, not the scottish play.

Alas poor Yorick....an like that shit, Man, you know what I mean. Dude Hamlet gone mental on his Mom Trudy, cuz she gettin down with her bro in law.

and his mentalness is like contagious big time, cuz his main squeeze Ophelia, tops herself after Ham kills her bro.

It's like tragic and all that. But it's got a ghost so good to discuss on like halloween.