BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)

Subject: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Janie
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 09:58 PM

Main Entry: re·mem·brance
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈmem-brən(t)s also -bə-rən(t)s\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : the state of bearing in mind
2 a : the ability to remember : memory b : the period over which one's memory extends
3 : an act of recalling to mind
4 : a memory of a person, thing, or event
5 a : something that serves to keep in or bring to mind : reminder b : commemoration, memorial c : a greeting or gift recalling or expressing friendship or affection
synonyms see memory (Merriam-Webster's On-line Dictionary.)

I was engaged in the business of polishing my grandmother's silver tonight as my first step toward getting ready for Thanksgiving.    The service is silver-plate, and in remarkably good condition for silverplated tableware of it's age, a testament to the care she took of it and a reflection of her values that you take care of what you have and make it last. It was used only on the most special family occasions, to mark how meaningful both the occasion and the gathering of all the family were. That is also the only time I use it.

I began the work as simply a chore that needed done that I could go ahead and get out of the way. About halfway through the job my back was starting to hurt a little from standing over the sink, and I was getting more bored by the second.   Suddenly I thought of the countless times my grandmother must have stood at her sink before a holiday meal over the course of 50 or more years, doing exactly what I was doing. It almost seemed I could feel her as my fingers rubbed over the same curves and planes her fingers had polished so many times over the course of her life. Then I remembered watching my own mother do the same thing with her silver, and of the many times over the years I have helped her with the polishing in preparation for a Holiday meal.

With those memories, the work transformed from a chore into a ritual of remembrance and a reminder of continuity through generations. If we (and they) are lucky, Mom's infant great grand-daughter and perhaps a future grandchild of my own will one day be standing at a sink, polishing silver handed down from two generations past, and experience something very similar to what I experienced tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 10:10 PM

Lovely, Janie.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 10:18 PM

Ah, Janie, how beautiful.

I have my grandma's china set, but we hardly ever use it any more as the kids are scattered or off on their own for holidays. Having no granddaughters, I am not sure who will get it or if any of them care. They don't have the ritual with it that I do since we moved east when they were so young and they missed out on the experience. I well remember how special it was to get out and dust off, making sure each place setting was perfect with water glasses, salad plates and all; all on top of grandma's special lace tablecloth which had a white, heavier brocade cloth under it.

I do have other things which they remember and will want, though. In our case, Christmas wound up filled with blue enamel wear with white speckles. You know, the kind folks take camping. I loved the stuff so my mom sent me settings for Christmas. From then on, we had Christmas breakfast on those dishes..scrambled eggs, bacon, and my special Swedish tea ring...yum and it all looked so colourful on those dishes. We still have a few pieces.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Janie
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 11:22 PM

Yeh, Kat. I grew up near my grandparents and extended family, and have so many important associations that my own son does not have to his extended family or grandparents, largely, though not entirely, because of distance.

My mother has a beautiful set of Lenox china, a set of quite nice Spode Christmas dinnerware, and absolutely lovely etched crystal stemware that she acquired well after I was grown and had moved away.   I have little emotional attachment to them since they are not associated with those important "imprinting" memories and experiences of childhood.   The cheap, pressed-glass footed candy bowl that has served up the cranberry relish at my Mother's Thanksgiving and Christmas tables for my entire life is a whole 'nother matter.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Janie
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 10:27 PM

Refreshing this. I would enjoy hearing from more folks about the rituals and inherited objects that serve as focal points for that sense of continuity.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:03 AM

Lovely, Janie.
I came by an apple-peeler-corer-slicer gadget a few years ago, from a friend who was purging possessions.
A few years ago, the day before Thanksgiving, my daughter and I used it to bake the traditional apple pie. I commented on the speed and ease of its use, and my then-18-year-old said, "I don't know, mom, I think I prefer when you and Granny and I sit around the table and peel them by hand and talk and stuff."
Score another one for tradition!

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 02:09 PM

That was absolutely wonderful Janie. I did the same for years. And took out the and washed the good Staffordshire china and candlewick glassware.

Kids never understood the reason why the best was brought out for Thanksgiving and didn't I have enough work to do with the cooking, and house cleaning etc.

The ritual you learn at a loved parent's (or grandparent's) knee becomes important to you, a part of who you are.

My Aunt Dot had a wonderful amber colored carnival glass eggnog bowl, dipper and cups. Lovely fragile and iridescent. There was a wonderful cut glass cranberry dish that had belonged to my grandmother, that my Mom was always asking after the condition of. She now has it back, as I did not bring it to the UK with me.

What I miss most about being in Virginia is autumn and the run up to and through Thanksgiving (my fav time of year). Since moving to UK, I get really low this time of year.

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:53 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Janie
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 10:48 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Rowan
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 11:37 PM

I suspect most of those making contributions like Janie's will be women. I once wondered why my mother was loath to let me loose in the kitchen when I was a lad, and why she refused to teach me how to use her beloved sewing machine until I read Generations: Grandmothers, Mothers and Daughters, by Diane Bell with. Ponch Hawkes, McPhee Gribble and. Penguin Books, Melbourne 1987.

It was then I discovered the patterns of inheritance (in a patronymic society) that women prefer. And I celebrate them, with them.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Acts of Recalling to Mind (Heart)
From: Wesley S
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 08:58 AM

I have the only ice cream scoop that I can remember our family owning and using. That's the closest thing I have to the types of things you ladies are talking about.

However - I own a .32 caliber rifle that my Grandfather used to keep on his tractor in North Dakota to shoot wolves. Of course this was before the depression. And I have my father's bible that was given to him when he was very young. And his pocket watch. All of that falls under the heading of "guy stuff".

But I'd have to say that one of my prized possessions is a chest of drawers that my father made from scratch as a shop class project when he was in junior high school. It stands close to four feet tall and has has around 9 drawers. All small. We keep candles and playing cards in it since all the drawers are so small. My sister has a pipe stand that my father built for his father. It's pretty special too.