Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser (from The Pigs)

Subject: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser
From: quokka
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 09:52 PM

Anyone heard of this song - The band is called The Pigs. I caught a little bit on ABC radio last night. It's hilarious- about a hillbilly metrosexual called Bruce...

Cheers,

Quokka

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser
From: quokka
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 08:00 PM

Any Ozcatters heard of these guys? This was the only info I could find, but they sound very interesting...


"Par, Stretch, T-Bone and Cousin Billy-Bob Pig's second album is a work of sparkling originality. "Horses", places brilliant self-penned tunes like Macho Moisturiser, the tale of a big country boy who cares for his skin (and wrestles crocodiles), alongside amazing bluegrass inspired arrangements of Rage Against The Machine, Kenny Rogers, Daft Punk and Salt 'n' Pepa. The first single off "Horses", by the Golden Guitar Nominated Pigs', is a thigh-slapping country version of Beyonce's hit song, Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It). ABC Airplay / Rage" (from play4me.com.au)

Cheers,
Quokka

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 02:57 PM

Here's their web site: The Pigs and here's their MySpace page. There are some tunes and videos there, but not MACHO MOISTURIZER.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser (from The Pigs)
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 04:40 AM

you can buy it on itunes now

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser (from The Pigs)
From: GUEST,whispan
Date: 14 May 10 - 04:47 AM

I'm not sure if the lyrics are right but i think they are along the lines of:
Big old Bruce wore moisturiser; he was the biggest man in town
Built like a big old ....man truck, skin like the softest part of a duck
And he wore macho moisturiser, sheep dip moisturiser, G.I Joe moisturiser, fire truck moisturiser
Bruce could drop a man with just one kick in the nuts,
he never fought by any rules,
He could wrestle a crock with his bare hands,
Still everyone guessed he sprayed on tan,
He wore macho moisturiser, sheep dip moisturiser, G.I Joe moisturiser, fire truck moisturiser,
he had a secret skin care regime, he only shared with his girl Jeanne, for a couple of months they were quite the couple, her skin was smooth his hands were supple.
One night as they exfoliated, 3 young men came calling round,
Bruce and Jeanie's hands were bound; the men took everything thy found,
Bruce's paws were clawed with rage, he cried "ill track you down and kill you all,
They set fire to the place and left them tied up on the floor,
ah but Bruce's hands were lubricated, he slipped free of the bonds they made and now he's free and reinstated, Jeanie he amasapated, broke them out in desperation, wiped the drop of perspiration, off his brow, kissed the ground and thanked god for his frequent application of
Macho moisturiser, sheep dip moisturiser, G.I Joe moisturiser, fire truck moisturiser,
mountaineer (moisturiser)fishing gear moisturiser) working man (moisturiser) panel van (moisturiser) Charles Bronson (moisturiser) Chuck Norris (moisturiser) ...train, steam train (moisturiser)(moisturiser)steel cap full back (moisturiser)(moisturiser)bear shooting hippy hooting bbqing gutter puking porno stashing kicken assen (moisturiser)(moisturiser) yuuup, that big old Bruce, he never dried up.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Macho Moisturiser (from The Pigs)
From: quokka
Date: 14 May 10 - 09:29 AM

Whispan, you are a legend! Thanks. I cried laughing listening to this...only heard it the once though :-)

Subject: Lyr Req: MACHO MOISTURISER (from The Pigs)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 May 10 - 08:42 PM

I see The Pigs have now added MACHO MOISTURISER to the songs on their MySpace page. (See the link above.) I listened, and I tidied up Whispan's lyrics a bit, and I was able to add the missing words and make a couple of small corrections (according to how I hear it):


MACHO MOISTURISER
The Pigs

Big old Bruce wore moisturiser.
He was the biggest man in town,
Built like a big old cement truck,
Skin like the softest part of a duck.

And he wore macho moisturiser,
Sheep-dip moisturiser,
GI-Joe moisturiser,
Fire-truck moisturiser.

Bruce could drop a man with just one kick in the nuts.
He never fought by any rules.
He could wrestle a croc with his bare hands.
Still everybody guessed he sprayed on tan.

And he wore macho moisturiser,
Sheep-dip moisturiser,
GI-Joe moisturiser,
Fire-truck moisturiser.

He had a secret skin-care regime,
He only shared with his girl Jeanne.
For a couple of months they were quite the couple.
Her skin was soft. His hands were supple.

One night as they exfoliated,
Three young men came callin' 'round.
Bruce and Jeanie's hands were bound.
The men took everythin' they found.

Bruce's paws were clawed with rage.
He cried, "I'll track you down and kill you all."
But They set fire to the place,
Left them tied up on the floor.

Ah, but Bruce's hands were lubricated.
He slipped free of the bonds they made and
Now he's freed and reinstated.
Jeanie he emancipated,
Broke them out in desperation,
Wiped a drop of perspiration
From his brow, kissed the ground,
And thanked God for his frequent application

Of macho moisturiser,
Sheep-dip moisturiser,
GI-Joe moisturiser,
Fire-truck moisturiser,
Mountaineer (moisturiser)
Fishin'-gear moisturiser)
Workin'-man (moisturiser)
Panel-van (moisturiser)
Charles Bronson (moisturiser)
Chuck Norris (moisturiser)
Kilt, betrayed, steam-train (moisturiser, moisturiser)
Steel-cap, full-fat (moisturiser, moisturiser)
Bear-shootin',
Hippy-bootin',
Barbecuin',
Gutter-pukin',
Porno-stashin',
Kickin' assin' (moisturiser, moisturiser)
Yep, that big ol' Bruce, he never dried up.