Lyr Req: Help Me Make It through the Yard

Subject: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: annamill
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 05:49 PM

Hi Guys,

Recently I saw this great parody of help me make it thru the night and I can't remember where I saw it. I don't want to use the forum yet because it might take a really long time and lots of resources so I thought I'd ask first. I want to give a copy to my daughter. It really reminds me of her now ex-husband. (her divorce is final today)

Thank you for your help. annap

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 05:52 PM

Hi Annap,

I suspect you are busy. It is in the DT here.

Enjoy the music.

Big RiB

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: annamill
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 06:04 PM

Thank you Roger. I didn't realize it was in the DT. Someone used it in one of the threads recently and I had gone through a lot of threads looking for it. Thank you again. I sang it to my daughter and she asked me to print it out for her.

Great job, Rita.

Love, annap

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Ferrara
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 08:10 PM

I was driving in rush hour traffic one evening when I heard the "real" version of this song on the radio. No way to stop and write it down, so I just sang as much of it as I could remember, over and over again til I got home, and then wrote it down. That's why there's only a fragment on the DT.

About a year ago, I started messin' with it and came up with another verse. NOT authentic, if you can have authenticity in a situation like this. Here is the song, as it ended up after I meddled with, revised and expanded the original approximation of the original parody by an unknown author & performer:

1. Take the rosebush from my hair
Lord, it has a lot of thorns
What's the sprinkler doin' on
At this hour of the morn?

Comin' home at five a.m.,
Lord, the sidewalk sure is hard
Guess I drank too much again,
Help me make it through the yard.

I can't see what's right or left,
I'm too drunk to even stand,
I ain't askin' your assistance,
But you're standing on my hand.

Left my keys locked in the car
Hope my wife ain't sleepin' hard
Lord, that kitchen door looks far,
Help me make it through the yard

2. Well, how did beer get in my hair?
Sorta smells like Killians Red
Let me lie here for awhile
It's so much closer than my bed.

I wish the ground would just hold still
The swayin' keeps me off my guard
If I crawl, I may not fall
Help me make it through the yard.

I don't care what's right or wrong,
But let me try to understand --
How'd we get home from the party?
Drunks don't let drunks drive friends.

Put some coffee on the stove
Then we'll try to find my car
But, until I'm on my feet,
Help me make it through the yard

I was never quite satisfied with that line about "Drunks don't let drunks drive [their] friends," but love the idea. Any suggestions?

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 09:59 PM

Rita,

I, too, like the thought. Maybe "Drunks don't take drunk rides from friends." No designated drivers perhaps.

Big RiB

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Gene
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 01:09 AM

I have an LP by PINKARD & BOWDEN
[the modern day Homer & Jethro]
with HELP ME MAKE IT THRU THE YARD on it
it also has DRIVING MY WIFE AWAY
BLUE HAIR DRIVING IN MY LANE
I LOBSTER AND NEVER FLOUNDER
and 3 MILE ISLAND
[a spoof on Wolverton, Mt]
...among others...

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Gene
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 01:15 AM

SOURCE: - * PINKARD AND BOWDEN *

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 08:22 AM

Gene,

Could you help us with the lyrics. Rita says the ones in the DT are an approximation. Sure would like the real thing.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Help Me Make It Thru the Yard - where?
From: Ferrara
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 05:23 PM

Yes, please! -- The lyrics in the DT are just what I remembered after hearing the song exactly once. Would like to know what they really should be. - Rita F