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BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:46 PM And then she took the child and went down to the river and put him in a basket and set it loose on the current... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:20 PM There's a legend from the American Civil War about a soldier who was shot in the testicles. The bullet passed through him and wounded a nearby woman in the stomach, and she became pregnant by the sperm carried on the bullet as it passed through the now-dead soldier. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 10 - 07:35 PM Where do shot off balls go??? Nevermind... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:13 PM lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 10 - 03:39 PM LH, I don't think he'll be shooting his way out of this. Remember, he's had his balls shot off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:52 AM What? In Chicago? Surely you jest. That would violate city ordinances. Look, Chongo has never gotten into any tight spot that he couldn't shoot his own way out of. Tell the military to stand down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 06 Jan 10 - 08:30 PM If Chongo makes it be because of his primitiv survival instincts, not from lessons learned from humans. I suspect there will be no storming of the caves, as it could lead to an ambush. They will likely go in with dingies, under the cover of darkness to rescue him. They are likely to create a diversion at the onset, with choppers and cannon fire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 10 - 06:13 PM Please don't "out" Chongo. I know, I know, but he's got enough troubles right now without being caught up in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" thing. Wait until we see if it's really him. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 06 Jan 10 - 10:28 AM Rappy, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but that note...it's false, put out by Chongo himself to cover his real whereabouts, because hell, if *this* got out, he'd *never* be able to live it down! The Chimp in the Middle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:25 AM I can't, Ebbie. I'm not even supposed to HAVE that and I can't tell you how I got it. But apparently Chongo is wounded in the arm, leg, and scrotum (I knew all along he'd get his balls shot off someday). If I learn more I'll post it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:32 PM Tell them Yes!, Rap. Tell them Yes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM I have come by the following. I cannot say more than that. CLASSIFICATION TOP SECRET EYES ONLY PRIORITY Alpha Alpha Alpha TO Specops kht 66 FROM Orange 6 DATETIME 1001051231Z Can confirm chimp held coordinates BS3978129 MA971283/Visual, humint and |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:55 PM It is amazing how many websites have Radio Shack sucks in them....most telling employee tales....the more employees you p-off and leave....in todays world, the more likely negative sites go up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:32 PM Howz about some Red Rose Tea anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXEQhsZrkM8 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:41 PM Nice jazz band! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:30 PM Er....are these Shane's Girlies? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:25 PM Word on the streets of Chichongo is that he's revived his old band, quite literally, and they're playing in The Joynt next Saturday night! Chongo and The Chingos |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:07 PM Yeah....they basically pay you minimum wage, treat you like crap for it, and try to brainwash you into become a psychotically manipulative little sales creep who bamboozles unsuspecting members of the public into buying all kinds of stuff they don't need and weren't even planning to buy when they walked through the door. There are audio and videotapes you can study at home after work to turn you into a super sales-creep who could sell ice to eskimos or shit to a pig farmer. This is the kind of person my boss was. He was born for it. As you got to know him, your initial caution turned rapidly into loathing, then into sheer hatred. He made Steve Dallas (remember him?) look like a nice honest guy. ;-) He was also having an affair with some woman on the side while trying to patch up his failing marriage with his wife at the same time and he insisted on talking to the employees about it. One of a kind. If Chongo had been around this guy for long, he would have either shot him or taken him out in the alley and beaten him to a pulp. Mind you, he probably would not have hired Chongo... ;-) But he would certainly have tried to sell him something expensive. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 06:41 PM Yeah, Radio Shack is the pits... I knew a gril/womanperson who worked fir them and she was a basket case from it... I kept tellin' her that she needed another job but they must had some bad piccures of her with farm animals or farm hands that she didn't want her parents to see 'cuase last I knew she was still there... Circuit City is just as bad... One of my son-in-laws worked there and he said they was crooks and ran the store as if it was a cotton field... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 04:45 PM Yeah, Bobert, I did. It was a job at Radio Shack back in the early 90s...and boy, what a stinker of a job it was! My boss was the absolute worst boss I've ever seen or heard of...in his attitude toward the staff, though he was an incredible salesman...which is why they're promoted him to manager! Big mistake. Everyone who worked under him finally quit and left the silly bastard in the store all by his lonesome, at which point Radio Shack "kicked him upstairs" where he could do less damage (hopefully), brought in a brand new manager, and they started over from scratch with that store. Radio Shack is gone now and Circuit City has taken their place. You can hardly tell the difference. I'd rather polish Amos's shoes every day and pray to an idol of George Bush than work for those fuckers again, no matter what they call themselves. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 01:01 PM Didja' get the job, LH??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:49 PM Ah, great one! lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:55 AM That was one hell of a long time ago. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:47 AM I believe those are photos of Little Hawk the last time he dressed up for a job interview, Ebb... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:44 AM I like your idea about the Chicago funeral procession, Rapaire. The celebration of his life, however, would undoubtedly be held in a downtown Chicago bar...if not several of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:20 AM He does *too* have relatives |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 10:25 AM "OK LH, he's not dead, he's just electroencephalographically challenged. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 10:03 AM ....and then there is always Canadian Pamela Anderson, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Larry Flint, Don King, or Don Imus? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:59 AM If Shatner cant fit it into his schedule....my second suggestion would be Joan Rivers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:59 AM Maybe LH could be given a task, to get the grief off his mind. Also, Canadian William ~ Shatner is a known lover of Ape's Gorillas and Monkeys. He may be a good fit to deliver the Eulogy? http://fr.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:52 AM Yeah, Bobert, that would be the right thing to do, I guess. On second thought, nah. It's not like we're saying bad things about the dead or anything. Maybe the late Chongo will have one of those big gangster funerals, like Dion O'Bannion had. I can see it now: two miles of cars following a Chicago trash truck decked out in black and lots of flowers, slowly wending its way down to the Sanitation Dock, to be unloaded into a barge for a "burial at sea." Strains of music, stuff like "Black Snake Moan" and "Shake, Baby, Shake" drift on the breeze as the barge puts out to lake...later, a celebration of his life is held in a phone booth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:52 AM Well, I for one am sorry the little asshole is gone. He was allus good fer a laugh, ya know? An' although he did not owe me any money because I wouldn't spot him any, his evasive antics in the face of creditors were very droll. So I will miss the little bastard and I yam sorry he's dead. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:32 AM Well, I understand why LH woould be in denial... I mean, if it were Shane I wouldn't expect this level of head-in-the-sandin' but it isn't... Sniff... So, I think we all owe to the poor ol' Canuk to just let him go thru the grievin' process... Whaddaya'llthink??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:25 AM 100 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:02 AM OK, if 5 % is good enough for Shane in an exam, its good enough for me. I misunderstood...his involvement with the Poppy Lords threw me off....I thought he may have been taken over by the lure....or speculated that maybe he went undercover... Lets get it straight.....if he was in Afganistan....how did he intersect with the Iranians....or, was this just early speculation? I was looking for a picture of Chongo, any resemblance in one of these? http://my.opera.com/TogaOga/blog/monkeys http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Chimpanzees-Mourn-Death-Of-A-Friend-Photograph-Captures-Silent-Tribute-In-Cameroon/A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:12 AM No way. Chongo is much handsomer than that. (and so is Ahmadinejad for that matter) (but Chongo is way cuter) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Sawzaw Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:41 PM Last time I heard, he was employed as a body double for Ahmadinejad |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:13 PM That's a fair bit better, Rapaire. You'll have to hang onto it, I guess, until he actually really does die. You should know, though, that he has a number of relatives who are presently quite perturbed over all this inaccurate hoo-hah...and Chinga isn't one of them. The part about him owing "just about everbody" money is...well...reasonably accurate. He'll pay it all back after he wins the presidency in 2012. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:08 PM How about this: Chongo Chimp of Chicago passed away in a big-ass explosion outside Khandahar, Afghanistan last week. Well know for his love of cigars, whiskey, and mayhem-causing devices, he was on the run from the Chicago Police when he was splattered all over the Afghan landscape. Chinga Chimp of Milwaukee, who claims to be his sister, said, "He'll be missed, I guess. He owes about everybody money." Big Ape Louie of Evanston said, "It's a good thing for him. My boys were gonna take that punk apart when he came back to town. Now we got him in parts, ha ha!" According to his wishes Mr. Chimp will be cremated, if enough pieces can be found. He leaves no living relatives (other than his purported sister) who will admit to it. Condolences, congratulations, and stuff can be sent to your Congressperson. Burial will be in Lake Michigan. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:54 PM What a shameful misrepresentation, Ed! Shocking! Chongo is not into dope at all...he's into whisky and cigars...and women, of course. He has numerous hobbies, most of which involve firearms, whisky, cigars, period automobiles of the 30s and 40s...and women. He has done much valuable law enforcement in Chicago and elsewhere and once beat the tar out of a guy who took candy from a baby. The only part you got right was that he likes bananas. That gives you a grade of about 5% on accuracy. I sure hope you never compose my obituary! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:23 PM Well....someone has to do it. I Tried to come up with some content for an obituary....this is about all I could think of: OBIT-Chongo He had no hobbies, made no worthy contribution to the world, had no loved ones and rarely did a kind deed in his life. His presence will be missed by few, if any at all. Few tears will be shed over his passing. He did like bananas and dope. Can anyone else come up with something more than this to put in the papers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:58 PM No wonder Chongo had those Middle Eastern folks so confused. He thought he was running away....but he was running towards 'em....he had the shits and was yell'in clyster bombs....they thought he was saying cluster bombs. And he was yelling Geronimo....they thought he was say'in Guantanamo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:45 PM Gee, he's only dead a few days and I'm spelling his name already. Next thing I'll be calling the late Chongo "Donkey Kong". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM Didn't Congo order a gross of banana-flavored condoms just before Christmas.? Too bad he will never get to wear 'em. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:33 PM Quite Simial. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:24 PM Just came from visitin' a friend in the nursin' home, RR, and I think yer on to somethin' here... BTW, long time, no hear... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:52 PM Your bound to look like a monkey when you get old..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:32 PM Sumabich blew a seal in North Carolina, Amos... Cost me a danged election... But if he is blowed up then lemme jus say that "Hey, Chongz... It's okay... Obama doin' a btter job than I woulda done... Really..." "Oh, yeah... Sorry you got yer ass blowed up..." Sniff... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:18 PM A forensic specialist team from the Army reports traces of telltale fur and fecal matter has been identified on minute pieces of shrapnel from the IED explosion site by the side of the road leading to Kandahar. They conclude from the evidence that Chongo had the shit blown out of him. It is possible he just ad the shot scared out of him, but in that case he must have blown a seal. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: robomatic Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:51 PM Dead? Not Dead? Not Dead? Dead? zees iss a matter for zookeeper Schrödinger |
