BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...

Subject: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 09:08 PM

Well, well, well...

Strange how things work out... Looks like I'm between jobs and then this friggin' blizzard come along and my ol' buddy, Amos, and my ol' arguin' buddy, Sawz, both say some dum stuff so I figurated that I'd have to "off", you know, "snuff" them...

Then I wasd thinkin' that what Mudburg needs is an officail to-go-hit-squad and seein' as I'm outta work I thought that I could capitalize on knockin' off Mudders who done crossed other Mudders!!!

Is that genious, 'er what, I ask you???

So, unbeknownst to Rap and Chongo, who will be solicited to provide "consultation" and "sub-contract work" looks as if I am about up and runnin' shortly so if ya'll have someone special in mind, all ya gotta do is log off and say who and the rest is history... Know what I mean???

Bobert (CEO of Hits-4-U or 1-800-HTS4YOU...)

p.s. Remember, you don't have to have sand kicked in yer face... This is friggin', ahhhhhh, what is this??? Nevermind what it is... That ain't important... Sand in yer face is...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 09:09 PM

Cabin fever, Beau?

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 09:29 PM

My "consulting" fees are not exactly the lowest, Bobert, so figure that into your costs. You're a mudbuddy, so I'll cut you a good deal, but still, a man's gotta make a living.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 09:44 PM

Chongo's consulting fees, on the other hand, are quite competitive, Bobert, and positive results are virtually guaranteed. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:57 AM

Okay, folks... The requests have jammed my PM box... Man, I didn't realize jusy how successfull this thing could be but...

...Sniff...

I have had a chnage of heart... Yeah, I know that Chongo was up to the task but, ya' see, I got into that last little bit of moonshine last night an', well...

...ahhhhh, that stuff oughtta be illegal...

(It *is*, Boberdz...)

It is??? Danged!!!

Nevermind... No killin's... Sorry to all ya'll who have sent in their orders and I agree that some of these people sho nuff could use a butt-whup or made to listn to Bobby Goldsbor's "Honey" for a couple days, but killin's a bad think...

***Danged moonshine done got me in trouble again***

Sniff...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:01 AM

I'm glad to hear that you rethought this one, Bobbered. There's been enough violent talk around here lately. Definitely not Mudcat at its best, when that happens.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:03 AM

I think that your crazy neighbor's moving out has left a void in your life. You need a hoby. How about taking up the guitar? Blues maybe?

"I got into that last little bit of moonshine last night an', well...

...ahhhhh, that stuff oughtta be illegal..."

Good refrain to start with.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:11 AM

Yeah, that monnshine will do it to ya', allright, Sins... After the P-Vine went to bed I was playin', ahhhhhh, old folk music last night... And in standard tuning... Go figure??? What next???

B?

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:38 AM

Like SINSULL said: FOR YOUR CHOICE

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:06 AM

I'm glad you are not actually making hits, Bobert. That kind of stuff takes the music out of your soul pronto.

But I do wish something could be Done about the person who puts 52 different fonts in one excerpt from the Ballad Index.

And don't be ashamed of standard tuning. Think of it as the musical equivalent of comfort food.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:21 AM

Now wait a minute! I think Boberdz is onto a good idea here, but the means of execution (pun intended) needs to be rethought. There's no need for shootin' or poisonin' or breakin' kneecaps when a good ol' fashioned duck tapin' is all that's called for. Ya just wanna shut the offending parties up for a while. right? So duck tape their hands together behind their backs and they won't be able to type. No blood, no funerals, no hospitals, just a bit of involuntary hair removal when Bobz finally decides to take the tape off.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:33 AM

I wasn't thinking of anything PERMANENT, fer gosh's sakes! I was thinking about things like tying them up, laying them on the floor, covering them with peanut butter and/or jelly, and letting a couple of dachshunds or Irish setters have at them.

And Bee-Dubya, it takes less duct tape just to tape their thumbs and little fingers together. Gotta conserve natcheral resources, ya know. Duct tape doesn't grow on trees!

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: 3refs
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:40 AM

I'm no help! Went to Canadian Tire to buy shells for "The 88" and forgot my cheaters. Told the clerk I wanted 3" 00Buck and he gave me 2 3/4". I guess I could always throw the shells!

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:41 AM

Now yer on to somethin', Beezer... But after my close call with turnin' into VedoBoberdz I have sworn off anything that might bring anyone physical pain... So I come up with a "brand new plan"...

...Pudder offin'...

Ain't worked out the details as yet...

As FOR YOUR CHOICE??? I kinda like the Hoby Motor Hoes but kinda worried that if I had it then folks might think I was a hoe-er when I was usin' it... I don't need no more grief right now... Maybe I'll just stick with the baby diapers...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:45 AM

Bobert, I know a couple of guys who once took an IBM PC out and shot it with flintlock rifles.

Pretty much put holes in it, but didn't even break the glass on the monitor screen. They didn't try, but I kinda think it didn't work after that either.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:47 AM

My Dachshund is offering his services in return for food. He'll do anything for food. Trust me.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:57 AM

I KNEW you would go for them diapers. Wouldn't they make GREAT Secret Santa gifts? :~)

BooBooBear, just do some social work in PMs-- that oughtta cover it as good as it can be.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:58 AM

Oh, so yer dog is a techie, LH???

What's he gonna do??? Bite the wires goin' to folks pudders, 'er what???

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 10:05 AM

As I told you, he'll do anything for food. Anything he's capable of doing, that is.

His attitude is: "If I can't do it, it's not worth doing!" He regards most human activities as idiotic and beneath contempt, but he has a high regard for those who can prepare food.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 10:05 AM

Bobert darlin', I am most upset that you should ask for help from those amateurs Rap and Chongo and ignore the best source of help available - the Evil Sisterhood.

We have members almost worldwide and are capable of thinking up punishments that you boys couldn't even dream of. Just give us a little while to consult and you can believe that any target is sure gonna be sorry they irritated anyone else. No physical damage guaranteed, but we can't say the same for their sanity (hold on - who's sane on the Mudcat?) or their psyche.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 12:14 PM

It's useless, Jacqui. When Bobert's dangerous neighbor moved to Blind River, I offered a wonderful solution involving the local bears and some jelly.

Nobody responded. I guess they couldn't figure it out.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 12:20 PM

Shane DID respond. He responded twice. It's on the other thread about the gun nut.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 01:47 PM

I get the jelly thing now, leeneia... Takes a while sometimes...

Yeah, jacqui... The pproblem is that ya'll womenz got this pact... If it's da boys who is messin' up, yeah, we gonna pay the price but now if a fellow mudwomenz messes up ya'll blame us???

Like what's that about???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM

Well, Bobert - what can I say? We have to look after our own and, let's face it, sometimes you lads do push it a bit too far.

Be that as it may, if'n there's a good reason for someone to suffer the wrath of the ES we will not be playing favourites, especially if they upset our favourite hillbilly.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 02:58 PM

3... what the hell are you shooting with 1/8 ounce pellets?

And, won't the 88 take 2 3/4?

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 03:05 PM

3... look at the breech... I have never seen a 3" chamber that would not accept a 2 3/4" shell.

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Feb 10 - 10:50 AM

All clear now on Blind River, the bear and the jelly. We are waiting for hibernation to end, then we make our move.
==========
Bobert, I shall always treasure your phrase 'fellow womenz.'

Subject: RE: BS: New Career: Bobert's Hit Squad...
From: olddude
Date: 10 Feb 10 - 10:54 AM

Bobster, have ya thought about hiring Cheney, I hear he is pretty good with the shotguns and stuff !!