BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie

Subject: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 10:36 AM

Out of all the people I've told about the Mudcat, there is one who may actually stop by, today. He used to be my boss when I worked at a non-profit arts center in RI.

Anyway....his name is Ed and I thought it'd would be encouraging, welcoming, etc. if we all came through with a surpise thread to him, so that he sees it first thing when he gets a chance to come in here. Of course, since he does have a life, there is a chance he may not make it, but it'll still give us a chance to bask in the glow of mutual admiration for each other and Max's creation, right?

Anyway....thanks to you all, in advance, and, hey! Eddie, surf those threads and welcome!

luvya,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Dave Swan
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 10:42 AM

Eddie,

Welcome to the Mud! You have been brought here by someone we know as clever, generous, kind, passionate and quick witted. You'll find those qualities to be common around here. Many of the others are better at the welcoming address than I, and will point you to the appropriate threads and practices. I'll just invite you to the tavern for a dram or two and hope you feel at home in one of the best places I've ever been. Cheers, Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Allan C.
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 10:44 AM

Eddie, I am glad you have found your way here. I am sure you will enjoy any time you spend among the Mudcats. The only problem is that the amount of time you originally alot for this adventure will expand exponentially with each return visit. So be prepared. Welcome!!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 10:46 AM

Hi, Eddie, we refer to this site as the Mudcat Witch Project!! (Joke, joke, joke!!!!!!!)
Come by anytime, we are friendly!!!!
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 10:55 AM

Hey Eddie....Drop by again, 'cause I'm heading out of town in about 15 minutes.....Any friend of Kat's ....well, I'll just be happy to insult you any time......my specialty. Seriously....Welcome to the 'Cat.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Bert
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 11:07 AM

Welcome aboard Eddie, What kind of music do you like? We are supposed to be FOLK here but we accept anything.

Tell us about yourself.

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 12:10 PM

I don't know about you guys, but if Eddie doesn't show I'll really be pissed off.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 12:28 PM

Easy there, LeeJ, he lives on the West Coast, ya know, they don't rise and shine as early as the rest of us on this continent:-)

I can tell you, he is mostly Irish and while working at the Center, we had all kinds of music, including Masters of the Steel String Guitar, Roy Book Binder, Altan, Queen Ida and her Zydeco Band, oh, and he has a GREAT library. Like a lot of us, I'll think he'll fit right in, even if it is on an infrequent basis; his work keeps him traveling a LOT. It's pretty exciting, he even had to host a bunch of older, wealthy patronesses of good causes on a whitewater raft trip. Ed, my friends, has an adventurous spirit!

Thanks to you all. Keep 'em coming, we'll get him in here, no doubt!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 12:31 PM

Hi Eddie. I feel it's my duty to let you know that a couple of the supposed "cats" here are actually the monstrous alter-egos of Las Vegas animal trainers Sigfried and Roy! We just don't know which two they are.
Catspaw and his trained possum are a small time local act that play supermarket openings in rural Ohio, and Peter T. is actually B. Traven.
Alan C. has written several books claiming to be the "real" Crocodile Dundee, Dave Swan gets his kicks from sliding down a polished pole (as opposed to an unpolished Latvian), and Bert, is of course the reincarnated spirit of Betrand Russell.
Lonesome EJ is lonesome because he opened his Radio Shack store 457 miles from the nearest customer.
Katlaughing is a figment of our imaginations.
Welcome to our little community.

Rick (formerly Roberta) Fielding

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: DougR
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 12:47 PM

Eddie:

Welcome! If you like folk music and chatting with folks who like the same, you've come to the right place.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Llanfair
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 01:32 PM

Greetings, Eddie, from t'other side of the Atlantic, and welcome to this strange and wonderful place. Hwyl, Bron.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 01:48 PM

Hey there Eddie! Swing by the Tavern and say "Hi!" to those there. But Iffen yer the 'narvous type' I'd stay 'way from that there Loveless Mine - 'specially iffen ya come by heah aftah dark!

MMario

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 01:49 PM

Eddie, how can I put this? Rick has been sniffing the bottom of Duckboots' duckboots again. Pay him no mind. He means well, but the bucket rattles in the well occasionally. In an earlier incarnation he was Roberta Delmore, the unsung mainstay (until her mainstays came loose) of the Delmore Sisters (the one with the low voice).
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 13 Aug 99 - 09:12 PM

Hmmmm, I rest my case.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 01:15 PM

Thanks, everyone. I think Eddie must've gotten lost. I juts checked my email from yesterday and he sent me two messages that he was going to go "get mud-catted"...so something must've come up. I've no doubt he will get here in the next day or two.

BTW: we are at bet's in Colorado and it is a beautiful day. Just getting ready to refill her hottub, which is outside, off her deck. High Rocky Mountain air, sunshine, and tonight, if the water is warm enough, we'll be out there looking up at a zillion, brilliant stars!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: CarlZen
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 02:11 PM

Tonight's supposed to be a good night to view the Persius Meteor Showers! Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 02:41 PM

KOOL! I'll watch for them! Thanks!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 04:05 PM

Kat, are you sure this Eddie isn't just another elaborate hoax, like Hiroshi Ogura? You wanted to see how many of us would like up to welcome this guy who only exists in your imagination? Fess up!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 05:19 PM

Well, Eddie is real! Katlaughing would not lead us astray. Eddie, this is a wonderful site for any lover of "folk music", whatever that is. If you have an opinion about what "folk music" is, then you're even more likely to fit in.

If you have any questions about the genre, they can usually be answered by just creating a new thread. If you are requesting lyrics, type LYR REQ: followed by a title or any words you may remember or the name of the performer, etc. That little bit of information entices people to look.

The 'Cat has failed sometimes. Like recently no one could locate the lyrics to "Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean" as performed by Ruth Brown. Ms. Brown was a 1950's precursor to rock and roll, but we tried anyway.

If you want to be a Mudcat hero, you can post those lyrics for us.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 11:22 PM

Serious question. Was it absolutely PROVEN that Hiroshi Ogura was not a real person? Enquiring minds want to know.
Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 11:33 PM

No, Rick, but then again it has never been conclusively proven that YOU are a real person. --seed

Eddie, when you get here watch out for everybody who has posted to this thread so far. I guess you already know what to expect from Katgigglinginthecorner (we usually believe her, but for all we know you are just part of an elaborate scheme of hers to nudge us all further down the road to Insanity [Not that we have far to go; hell, half the people above are on the welcoming committee.].) --seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 11:34 AM

Now hold on a minute, seed. I've seen pictures of you - but they could be anybody. Why they could have been cut out of Gentleman's quarterly and had a banjo superimposed on them.

"Twilight Zone" music plays in background, enter Rod Serling.
"Tonight, we present for your edification, one man and his imaginary cyber-playmates. A lonely Possum farmer in Ohio creates character after character for his own amusement.

Ahh, what the hell, he probably DID make up Oshuri (or whatever his name was)

Rick (now starting to be confused about whether he exists)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Llanfair
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 04:09 PM

No sign of Eddie yet, then? Bron.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bet
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 05:48 PM

Hi, Eddie! I just kicked kat and Rog out of my house and sent them home but kat told me you would be looking things up here. Glad to have you here. bet

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 06:46 PM

Rick, you found me out. If you looked like me you'd clip one out of GQ as well. In the real picture, the guy--whoever he is--was rubbing his belly while patting himself on the head. Ah, the wonders of Photoshop. --seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 08:15 PM

Look you guys! No tequila, really WW!!! Would I lie to you!? And, Big RiB, thank you, he IS real. I will email him tonight and ask him where in the haitch he is, 'cause I had two, count 'em, two emails that he would check us out on Friday! No go easy 'cause he might've gotten a hot date or something, ya never know. Oh, and no 'shrooms, either!!!

Now, just sose ya know, some of youse mighta met him once upon a time, sorry Eddie, I have to "out you"; they've forced my hand: Eddie and I used to work together at teh Center for the Arts in Westerly, RI. FOR REAL!!!!!

I AM gigglinginthecorner, though!

lOVE YA ALL AND AM SURE HE WILL CHECK IN HERE IF HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR HIM!!!

KATwhoseesclearlynowtherosecolouredglassesaregone!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Eddie Baltimore
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 12:34 AM

Roberta, I mean Rick, just told me about this place, and until I realized I'd never even been to Rhode Island ,or Rhodes, or driven on any COLOSSAL RHOADS, i THOUGHT THE WELCOME TO eDDIE WAS FOR ME! oH WELL , at least we know two Ed's are better than one.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:21 AM

Welcome Eddie Baltimore! Since the welcome mat has been out for the other Eddie for at least 3 days now and he hasn't shown up, you might as well get the benefit. When he does get here, you guys can duke it out, and we'll take the one who's still standing.
By the way Eddie, let me explain a bit about Katlaughing who posted this thread. Ummmmmmmmm, nope, our Kat's too hard to explain. She'll have to explain herself!

Rick (what's this "Roberta" stuff? Did I reveal something that I shouldn't have?)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:36 AM

AT LAST- an Eddie to welcome!!!

Several years ago, a man had a vision. This man was a computer afficionado who enjoyed playing "God" games- he spent hours playing Sim City and Civilization, but at last he grew bored with those. One night, he awoke from a dream that was more like an incredible vision. He would incorporate his great passions for God Games and Traditional Music into a web site. Over time, he would construct "personalities" to populate this web-site, utilizing them as sources of information for the innocent "lyrics needed" people who accidently stumbled on his site. As time went by, the man was amazed to see his creation take on a life of it's own, with the occasional cyber-voyager not only stumbling onto his site, but staying to participate, actually interfacing with these "personalities". He found himself farther and farther involved in this elaborate game, posting photographs, hiring actors to impersonate these fabricated personalities at face-to-face events. Ultimately, he decided to push the illusion to the limit, creating absurd images no sane person could accept: leafing at random through a dictionary he scribbled words on a sheet of paper- possum, tiple, hoky-poky.

Still, the innocent participants continued, completely unaware that they had arrived at a web-site that, like an elaborate aquarium of exotic tropical fish, kept them captive while furnishing it's creator with an endless source of interest and amusement. Without knowing, they had surfed a network known as the imagination, to a place whose snail mail address is The Twilight Zone .

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:45 AM

Eddie (the Baltimore Eddie) is far too modest to tell you much about himself this quickly...so I will. He's truly one of the "good guys" that I know. He has the kind of sense of humour that will serve him well if he meets Catspaw, can pick stringed instruments with the best of 'em, writes like he's been there (cause he's been there) and will never see 40 again. (or maybe 45, or 46, etc.)

I still want to meet the other Eddie though. 'Cause you can never have too many of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 02:37 AM

Leej, that's exactly what I have felt all the time. We are all figments of Max's imagination. Clever programmer, he--creating characters so...well, not exactly lifelike, but possessing enough verisimilitude that if the visitor is willing to suspend disbelief...and these characters have now taken on a very real, if electronic, existence: they can communicate with each other while maintaining their own distinct personalities; hell, they can even create new characters, just as Kat created Eddie. If Max were to shut down the site without turning off the mainframe, he could come back a year later and find that his electronic children had been busy propagating enough others to populate Boston. Why, I'll bet that without outside distractions, the electronic creature known as Katlaughing would actually get the Mudcat book written (but, of course, the cyber world would be just as full of distractions as it is now, making it impossible for any of the characters to act as if they have a day job).

--seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 06:20 AM

It's a good thing I've met some Mudcatters in the flesh or I just might start to think that I am a figment of Max's imagination.

Perhaps it is Max who is not real. Perhaps he's just a program that runs other programs.

Roger in Baltimore (no relation to Eddie Baltimore)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 09:17 AM

I'll call your 2 Ed's and raise 3 Reg's and a gargoyle.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 10:31 AM

Aren't ya gonna throw in a tiple, too, C'spaw???

LEeJ: that was brilliant, as usual! I love it!!

Bseed: uh, so I'm only electronic, eh? Teehee. I'll have to ask Rog how he likes going ta bed with such an illusory figure. Nice of you to remember the book:-)

Baltimore Eddie: Welcome, even though I don't know you, yet, whatever Rick says about you, well.....for some reason I often suspend reason and believe him! When I saw your listing, I though maybe it was my Eddie in Baltimore becasue he travels A LOT! Oh well, I'll get after him today. He has no idea what length thread he has spawned!

Okay, now, everybody, close your eyes, empty your minds, and envision a big beautiful field of flowers, a mountain meadow filled with sunshine, birds on the wing, trilling their songs of creation, yourself lying in the center of this little Universe, the partner of your dreams carsessing your arm, lightly, softly singing your favourite tune, now......remember, like this dream, we are all only really illusions!! Such is the substance of life!

Love ya, real or not!

katlaughing

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 11:52 AM

I don't know Roger, perhaps the two of you ARE related.

I watched an interesting program last night about a whole community in Newfoundland hunting down their relatives from around the world. They had so much fun, and after a couple of years, had a reunion. (it was a big one)
Wonder if any Catters are related and don't know about it?
Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 12:40 PM

All the relationships around here are a result of too much in-breeding.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: black walnut
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:07 PM

ed, i'm new too. good luck. you'll need it.

roberta....geesh.

~black walnut

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:37 PM

It just occurred to me that Eddie has probably been here, read this thread, got some inkling of what goes on around here, and skedaddled for the hills!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 02:46 PM

The virtual hills, that is. --seedwhoashetravelsthroughthehillssensesthattheyarebeingcreatedbyMax'sCADprogramjustbeforehegetsthere

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 03:53 PM

One more message, with a place name changed, direct from Eddie, to my email: Ok, I'm flying to S**** M***** tomorrow and I promise to pick up my "threads" tomorrow night from my hotel - will get back to you soon, honest! Cyberhugs, Eddie.

SEE!!! I told you he exists!:-)

katlaughing...virtually

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 04:16 PM

Oh Kat dear....How pathetic. You're in serious need of a visit to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, James Taylor Rehab Wing for the Catatonically Bland. To lead us on...... and then this latest feeble missive.........You poor dear........Rick, Boots, alison, Mick, bbc, Duane, Barbara, Art, Seed, El Swanno, PJ, Sandy, Caroline, Banj, Leej...we'll put up the money for your stay...........It'll be Okay..........I mean really, to conjure up some character out of the ether and foist him off upon us in such a way shows how far your condition has deteriorated........I suppose next he'll show up at your place with tales of his exploits...........you're almost in the final stages here dearheart...........What's after that? A friend or two of his..........before long, you'll impart human properties to inanimate objects......... This is truly the product of a mind now flown, far gone in the depths of psychoti........................ uh,................hold on here a minute.........................Uh, just skip it, forget I said anything.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 04:21 PM

LMAOLMAOLMAOWROTF!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:44 AM

All Right, I'll bring this God Damned thing back up ONE MORE TIME. But that's it Kat! If you can't produce a friend named Eddie, then I'm going to make you one out of leather! It'll be cute, and you can carry it (sorry, him) around with you when you go out into the garden to talk with the fairies.

Dr. Richard Feldman

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:49 AM

Hey, Rick! I want one anyway! It'll be like the possum, a one of a kind, put me in touch with those elusive creatures, 'cause even if I talk to them, they don't always answer back, ya know?

T'anks fer bringing it back up. If he doesn't make it in here tomorrow noght, he's a goner. I'm off to put a direct link to this thread in his email....another nudge!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:53 AM

Hey, at this point, if the elusive Fast Eddie shows up, he can plant one twixt my coat flaps....actually that slit in the rear of a sports/suit coat is called a "vent".........Obviously tailors have a sense of humor.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 02:35 PM

Just a refresh----------------Where are you Eddie boy? Had barbequed ribs, salad, and corn on the cob last night....I'm lookin' for you...........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 09:51 AM

(Blast of tinny Trumpets)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! We now have over 60 posts on 2 threads covering 5 days dedicated to a non-member no-show!!!

Rick, crank out the leatherworking tools so we can present Kat with a suitable Award to be placed amongst her Garden Fairies and I'll ring up the Young Center.

Fast Eddie my ass........Geez, we're ALL such gullible idiots!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:15 AM

Eddie!!Have you met Amelia here, and Elvis, and my good friend Wendigo? Step over to the Mary Deare here, docked beside the Andrea Doria, and let's chat....
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:30 AM

Katlaughing, I think the trick is to lure people in here. You know, tell us a little about them. Does Eddie have a collection of er...rubber squid or something? Of course, if someone told me there were two whole threads about me in here, I'd be in here in a flash, just to make sure someone hadn't unearthed those photos from the 70s! Perhaps threatening his life would work.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:39 AM

Jeri, you don't mean these photos on the Tavern noticeboard do you?
Sings (?) to the approximate tune of "Living next door to Alice":
"Eddie, Eddie, where the f*** is Eddie?"

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:50 AM

(lone tree on horizon. Two bums look around sadly.)
POZZO: "Why are we waiting here? What makes you think he will come?
ESTRAGON: "He said he would come. We just have to hope."
POZZO: "Why? What good is hope?"
ESTRAGON: "What else is there?"

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:10 AM

Say, I finally figured out "Field of Dreams"....thanks Peter!

"If You Build It, He Will Come."

We built it.....so where is the F****R ????

Why don't you all just slip on over to the Tavern for a Fast Eddie Special....They're on me today!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:10 AM

Thanks, PeterT and everyone else. I give up. I guess his work schedule/traveling is just too hectic. Hopefully he'll get in here soon. Until then, I suggest we sing a dirge and let this one die.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Big Mick
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:32 AM

Oh sure..........Kat..........sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 12:23 PM

Ms. Laughing. NOBODY'S work schedule is THAT hectic! I mean look at us. Do you not think that we also have incredibly busy workloads? Here's Peter T re-writing the classics and going to every bad film in town..AND he's putting in 19 hour days at the Corporate Bird Cage Factory!

And then there's Mick. (is that a Bick in your pocket, or are you just here to light my fire?) He's been slaving 25 hours a day negotiating a settlement between the Wobblies and the IRA. Still he has the time to spell the word Alison in every colour of the rainbow!

Well now, what can we say about Catspaw, other than he's never done a lick of work since 1978! But busy? You bet he's busy. Hauling his little possum ass across international borders isn't busy? Not to mention his other endeavors like building dulcimers from balsa wood, hubcaps and woven nasal mucus. That's a pretty busy boy, and HE still finds time to post one or two things a week!

No, Kat. I'm afraid the sad truth is that Eddie just doen't know how to manage his time properly. I do believe he exists however, the same way I believe the Warren Commission, and that Hillary Clinton is a genius in cattle futures.

Rick (who obviously has NO spare time)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 12:27 PM

Woven nasal muscus?????? Gawd, Rick! Eeewwwwww!! I will quit wallowing in my cups and thanks for the cheering, fellas.

luvya,

katlaughingreally!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 12:56 PM

Yeah, the stuff makes excellent soundboards!!!

Katmyluv, if you encounter Fast Eddie somewhere, you may kick his ass for Mick, Rick, and I .......... if you'd rather not do it in your own name, ya' know??? My first post said I'd be happy to insult him anytime and indeed this has come to pass. I'm thinking of hanging a portrait of him at the Tavern.....won't take up much space, none in fact.

So go and commune and watch for the Insanevac helicopter. We are a strange bunch aren't we?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: wELCOME ...ETC
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 01:48 PM

I am the other Eddie. Please send old guitars ( preferrably martins nationals or gibsons), and when a suitable ransom has been attained , I will release, relatively unscathed ( well, maybe a bit scathed ) the Eddie which whom you speak of. Cash as an alternative is acceptable - just stuff it in the CDR port and press "home"

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Marion
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:07 PM

When Eddie comes, we'll all be saved... good reference, Peter T.! A man of learning.

The cultural tie-in that this thread brought to my mind was far more pedestrian: there was a song, I don't remember who by, with the simple chorus "These are the Daves I know, I know, these are the Daves I know." The verses are about specific people called Dave.

Anyway, the reason that I bring this up is: we all know an Eddie or two, don't we? Why don't we see how many new Eddies we can bring to be welcomed by this thread. My Eddie (actually Eddy and quite vociferous about it) is really more into computer games than traditional music, but we can squeeze that into the definition of folk somehow, can't we?

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:43 PM

Please Rick, University Bird Cage Factory. We have a higher class of newspaper on the floor of the cage.
Yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 04:03 PM

Good idea Marion. I've already brought my Eddie in. (the one back a couple of posts) He seems to be having trouble identifying his posts though. Eddie..a simple "Eddie Baltimore" will do. the guitars are on their way.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 04:43 PM

" Dear Eddy, Dear Eddy, the problem is this
Although we don't know you you're already missed
You are a real person, so Katlaf insists
But Fielding and Catspaw don't think you exist
Signed, Just Waitin'"

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Marion
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 04:51 PM

"Just waitin', just waitin', you have no complaint

You are where I'm not and I am where you ain't

So listen up buster, and listen up good

I've no time to do all Katlaf says I should

Signed, Fast Eddie"

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:53 PM

Fast Eddie, Fast Eddie, You've made Kat look bad.
Big Mick, Rick, and Catspaw are ass-kickin' mad.
They're three bad-ass mothers, I have to admit.
So you'll prob'ly be taken your hat off to shit.
***************** CHORUS (Compliments of Marion from above)
***************** Fast Eddie, Fast Eddie, now don't think me crude
But when you arrive, you're Screwed, Blued, and Tatooed.
Take your licks like a man and you'll fit in just fine,
Now I gotta' go 'pologize to John Prine.
Signed...............Cleigh O'Possum

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:17 PM

Really, Cleigh-O, I don't look THAT bad, do I?? Ask yer paw...let's get his unbi-assed opinion! Really though, yer a poet and ya know-it, right? Nice to know a gyrl's got so many KISA's to defend her!

katlaughing&steamingateddiespaghettiakaeduardo!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Eddy C.
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:27 AM

Where I come from, Eddy's, Eddie's, Ed's, and Edna's are everywhere! Makes me wonder what kind of society I'm living in... The funny farm? A secret clone project from Area51? Mulder's Asian twin??? Something is out there... Trust no Eddy

Sign, Clone prototype 1252542 CodeName: Eddy

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 11:51 AM

Imposter! What have you Eddies done with the real Eddie?

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Bert
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 11:55 AM

Now we have an Eddie C and an Eddie NO SEE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 11:58 AM

I think the only answer is to put all drinks in the Mudcat Tavern on Invisible Eddie's tab until he shows up, or set Joe MysteryMan Offer on to track him down and send Reg & Reg or Cleigh and the possums to bring him in.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 12:00 PM

Back of hand to my brow, I shall now sing Disney,

"Someday, Fast Eddie will come
Someday he'll check the threads
And are we ever ready for him
He'd better watch out for the Zim!
Da tum, dee, da ta da da......

So did anybody figure out my new acronym, KISA???

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: joeler
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 02:41 PM

Welcome Eddie. Never, never use the word "NEW". Joel

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Llanfair
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 05:17 PM

Nice one, Joel!! Eddie not here? I keep checking this thread, but no sign of him. Surname isn't Lucan, I suppose?? Hwyl, Bron.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:27 PM

Eddie, dear Eddie, come home to us now; Your dear friend Katlaughing is haffing a cow. And Patsclaw and Rickster and Roger the Zim And Mickster the Monster are ready to trim Your nose hairs with tweezers or needle nose pliers, And send you to sizzle in Golgotha's fires. You've turned our friend Kat to an object of mirth; She's dodgin' and duckin', regretting her birth. So get here by Friday if you're really livin'-- And I swear if you make it, well, all is forgiven.

--seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:36 PM

Oops, that was supposed to be

Eddie, dear Eddie, come home to us now;
Your dear friend Katlaughing is haffing a cow.
And Patsclaw and Rickster and Roger the Zim
And Mickster the Monster are ready to trim
Your nose hairs with tweezers or needle nose pliers,
And send you to sizzle in Golgotha's fires.
You've turned our friend Kat to an object of mirth;
She's dodgin' and duckin', regretting her birth.
So get here by Friday if you're really livin'--
And I swear if you make it, well, all is forgiven.

--seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:56 PM

Seed! "Golgotha's Fires" ? Holy leaping shades of John Milton, fer cryin out loud.

" Where hast thou gone, Edward my friend
Has thy prodigal nature brought thee to bad ende?
But scrib us a line and be shed of all blame
Lest Katlaughing roast thee in Golgotha's flame

- Paradise Redux

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 07:39 PM

Leej, in the possum thread, Catspaw is about to have me committed to the Neil Young center--but I refuse to go unless they make me bull goose looney. --seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 08:55 PM

LOOK AT THE CREATIVITY EDDIE AND I HAVE SPAWNED!!! You guys are FABULOUS!!! LMAO AND EMAILING THESE TO EDDIE!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:31 PM

Yes, Rick, there really is a Hiroshi Ogura. He has a web page at http://www.u.arizona.edu/~hiroshi/index.html.

(Whaddya mean "don't tell him?" C'mon, give the guy a break!)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:56 PM

So Hiroshi can kiss it too..........screw him AND that miserable piece of giraffe vomit, Fast Eddie!!!

You hear me talkin' Eddie boy??? You're a miserable excuse for a piece of crap, 'cause at least they come and go!! You'd not only suck a root as long as a rake handle and the chrome off a bumper hitch, but you have undoubtedly stolen the lunch right out of a dung beetle's mouth. And bring your mother by, I gotta' few words for her too...........

CURSE YOU SMEGMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking forward to seeing you soon and am anticipating meaningful discussions. All My Best,

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 01:29 AM

Patsclaw, he's never gonna come in if you talk to him that way. Now be nice. Say you're sorry. That's a good boy.

--seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Marion
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 10:25 AM

Just to make sure I get all the credit I so vastly deserve: Mulder's Asian twin who posted above, Eddy C., is the individual whereof I spoke. Rick:1. Marion:1. Katlaughing:0. Everyone else: bring your own Eddie before you gripe about Kat's!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 10:16 PM

as you can see...it is no use, Eddie is totally lost..all we know is where Eddie was

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 10:33 PM

LMAO, Bill! I'll never cease to wonder at what your hamsters scare up; you musta had them workin' overtime to find those!!!

Thanks, dear Marion, for setting the Eddie Record straight!

katwhorenouncesalleddies!not!wellhedidgivemeabunchofantiques!nicestonesI'veeverhad,mostly!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 10:44 PM

*giggle*..what I did was go to AltaVista and type 'where is Eddie?'...it has a search algorithm that finds stuff like that...the hard part is REJECTING all the other 1000 hits!

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Eddie (Code name "figment")
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 08:18 PM

Greetings fellow Mudcat-ters - how the hell many of you are there out there?? Took a while but wanted you all to know that Katlaf is not hallucinating - she really does have a friend named Eddie! Delighted in a way that it took me so long to get in the loop - or whatever it is I've gotten myself in to!! Had I dropped in sooner, doubt I would have been treated to several little poems and related good tidings I found reading all of these threads (yup, took a while but I just read every one of them). Now I understand why Katlaf hooked me up - knowing as she does that I am a bit, well, unusual and that finding like-minded characters here in ethereal Northern CA is a genuine challenge, she thought she'd introduce me to some equally unusual (OK, in a couple of cases - and you know who you are - even more unusual) characters in cyberspace! In any event, wanted to at least assure all those doubters out there that the Katlaf speaks only truth - she told me to tell you all that or I'd be in serious trouble!! Henceforth (see, he uses big words too), I shall be known in the Mudcat Tavern (I'll yake two very dry martinis, shaken not stirred, two olives) as Figment, as a reminder to those Katlaf doubters out there, whereever in the world that may be!! Later.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 08:33 PM

I don't suppose you can prove you're really Eddie? Nah, didn't think so. Well, whoever you really are, welcome to Mudcat! I'd warn you about the crackpots, but if you've read the messages, you already know about them. Most of us are quite normal, but we enjoy contributions from our valued unbalanced members as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 08:47 PM

READ 'EM AND WEEP, OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH! THE REAL EDDIE HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING!!!

Yes, it is really him, really Jeri! Yahoo! Whoopee! told ya so!

First two martinis on me, Eddie/Figment! I love it!

katlaughing

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Peter T.
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 08:54 PM

Sure, sure, kat, like we believe you at this point. What happened, did you buy another computer?
yours, Peter T. (Hi, Eddie, long time no see!)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 08:55 PM

Such cynicism, Peter! Have I EVER lied to YOU????

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 11:57 PM

sure... after I go out on a limb, proving you are really lost! *grin*...ok, then..hop on and enjoy the ride. We don't know exactly where we are going, but the company is amazing! (even some music at times..)

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 22 Aug 99 - 12:43 AM

Well, fast-Eddie-the figment-of Kat's-imagination, you arrived a day after the deadline I gave you, but I'll call off my dogs--Mickster, Rickster, Catspaw, and Roger the Zim--anyway. I'll just toss a bit of ale-basted beef into their cages and they'll settle down after a while, but I don't recommend sticking your hand inside the bars to pat their heads just yet. Where in Northern California are you? I'm in the Bay Area, along with a bunch of other Muddies.

As you can see from this thread we tend to take any opportunity to raise a bit of hell here: Catspaw calls it "kickin' litter." And we thank you for the opportunity to use you as a target. --seed

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Aug 99 - 02:32 AM

Hey there Katlaffin -- Catspaw doan seem to be a doin nun too well an me an Paw are right worried boutim. He even leff the puter on the net thing right here at Mudcat an jes ambled off. See howz it wuz wuz that after a real long day of kleenin cars and the camper an sech he tole us to git the hell out, but Karen wuz bein mighty nice to us which aint happint since that time when we wuz playin sink the cheerios in the downstairs bath......Paw,Buford,the Reg boys an me wuz jes tryin to help out on potty trainin lil Tris, but I doan think she liked it nun. Anyways she givvus sum cheescake stuff an summa Catspaw's Ale-8-One an thanked usns fer helpin out sum today. Bout that time Catspaw come outa the puter room alookin real pale and peekid like.

We all followed him out a figgerin that mebbe he's a havin some more problems like last May, but heez been active an real healthy actin like an that aint it. He tuk that clay possum and that seaweed he got from the Reg boys' half brother, yall know, that Fielding feller...an went out an set hissef down in front uv some plants in the dried out backyard. Furs, ol Buford aks him what wuz a goin on but since Catspaw wuz purty well pissed off at him anyways, after he an the Reg boys whittled up some whimmiediddles outta some piece a wood in Catspaw's shop. He sed it wuz some fancy ass kinda rosewood and real spensiv, kokobolo ur sumpin like that. We dint know you cud git wood from roses, but Catspaw bilds right purty dulseemors and I gess he knows whut heez talkin bout. Anyhowz he tole em all ta go piss up a slack rope an they were a layin out in his front yard a tryin, but the sheriff jes now druv up an I reckon heez a takin em off. Catspaw's gonna be madder than chicken with the shits when he finds out about it. But Paw an me are real worried bout what it is Catspaw's a doin out back and so I thought mebbe y'all might have some idee on it.

See cuz then when me an Paw aks him, he sez he's havin communion with ferrys ur sumpin. All we know fer shure like is that heez a settin there mumblin bout figs ur sumpin an blowin up that possums ass an rattlin that seaweed thing. Paw sez ta say that mebbe he's takin communion with fairies. We jes doan unnerstan a damn thing he's a doin and Karen calt the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed bout gittin him fixed up. We uz hopin yall might help out Katlaffin sins yall are buddies an all, an this all started after he red yur message.

Paw's gonna keep an eyeball on him whilst I see if Karen'll lemme use the shower sinz I bin itchin bad roun my privates.

CLETUS

Subject: RE: BS: Please welcome my friend, Eddie
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Aug 99 - 04:29 AM

Dearest Cletus, my dear Cletus,

It is a good thing you wrote to me for advice. C'spaw has entered an alternative realm of possibility which means the chances of him ever coming back into this dimension are limitless. I don't think it will do any good for Karen to contact the NYCFTTS, as they are not equipped to handle such contact with persons afflicted by figmentosus faerius. This is serious. It is important that none of you startle Spaw while he is in this state, nor while he is in any other state, including A-hia. The best thing you can do is walk away, very softly, without turning your back to him. Don't scratch, either, because just that little annoyance may set him off.

Tell Karen, the poor woman, she should set out his favourite dish on the hearth, tonight, along with his favourite ale or other drink. Surround that with photographs of his favourite people and places, esp. that one of Cleigh O'Possum in his international diplomatic role...you know, the one where he so graciously allowed that foreigner, Fielding, to blow up his derriere. Hopefully when he focuses his eyes on these familiar sites, he will warp left, spiral up, and touch down in this dimension.

It is obvious he has suffered from a total shift in reality. What he thought existed does not, for him, and what he believed to be a figment has been made manifest. As his was such a doubting nature coupled with hostility, it could be that he is faking this whole episode of figmentosus dementia for fear that he will be offered a plate of black feathers and various other avian delights. If this proves to be the case.....scratch away, call in the boyz, let them at the rosewood, Holly-wood, and any other wood he has, tell Karen to take away the goodies. When he's had enough isolation, he'll come round and you'll see, he'll be his old self in no time.

Now, on the other hand, if he really is suffering from an afflication of communicado faerio, you will need to send me a prepaid, round trip airline ticket, as well as one to various other members of our Crack Tipling Possum Intervention Team. It will be necessary for us to perform not only an exorcism of all spirits ale, but also to confiscate the religious icon he seems to have become so orally fixated on. It could get ugly, his head may do a 180 on his body. Best that Karen take the little boyz and go back to Kentuck for the duration. We will see what we can do. Send the Big Boyz to lay in a good supply of provisions, install heavy duty locks on all the windows and doors, and prepare to guard against interruptions while we plunge the depths of the Psyche That Was Spaw. You will also have to send a ticket to Fast Eddie, as Spaw will have to be confronted with the reality of his existence, surreal or not, alternative dimension or not.

Until we can determine the best course of action, I remain your only alternative to real life,

katlaughingallinyourhead, PhD Faerius Figmentosus