BS: Gentle dig at retirement

Subject: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Arnie
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:17 AM

I've recently retired and came across this - it's just so true!!! Now I know why I never get round to practising any new songs like I promised I would once retired....

How many times i have said to Karen recently that i seem to be busy all
day doing nothing, this was the explanation.........

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -- Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder.


This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and
decide
it needs washing.

As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I
picked up from the postman earlier.

I decide to go through it before I wash the car.

I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling
box
under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
recycling first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table and notice that there is only one
cheque left.

My extra cheques are in the desk in my study, so I go into the house
to
my desk where
I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques but first I need to push the coffee
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup..

As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers
on
the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.

I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to
water the flowers..

I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with
water
and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the
kitchen
table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for
the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I'll water the
flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.

So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed,

The bills aren't paid,

There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen work-surface,

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all bloody day and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail.....

Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I
can't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: JennieG
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:18 AM

Ah, yes.......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: olddude
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:23 AM

LOL, Priceless

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Bobert
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:50 AM

See that you have met my wife, the P-Vine... lol...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:51 AM

you left the hose running

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: gnu
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 09:59 AM

I gotta go check the hose bib to see if I turned it off.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Midchuck
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 10:19 AM

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:06 AM

That is good .... so true!

thanks for sharing this Amie.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:08 AM

My wife gave me a neat little red notebook to write stuff down in...now, where did I put that damned thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:26 AM

Ha! His wife also tells him to set the bloomin' timer and do one thing for fifteen minutes.

Ya know, sometimes he does it--Love to all from Art's wife

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:35 AM

I know the problem...but I have made part of it work FOR me.....I have integrated my memory lapses with my exercise program- so the more I forget, the more I get to run up & down stairs.


(hmmmm..I 'think' I may have said that before)

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:43 AM

BillD... that is brilliant... you could set up one of those lose weight websites that have tentacle links everywhere on the internet. Allow lots of other weight loss and get fit outfits to advertise on your website.

Charge one dollar or on pound to access the link that tells people the secret and charge the other companies using your site for advertising per potential customer visit to your site.


Damn.... I think I just gave away a brilliant money mak.....

Where did I put my glasses?

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 12:01 PM

A few months ago I had to go to the dealership and have new keys cut for my Diamante. We had searched and searched for a couple of weeks to no avail. About a week later I found them in the back of a refrigerator door compartment................

I read this thread at 8:30 this morning and went to the kitchen for coffee and AAADD struck.............its now noon. I partially finished about about a dozen things and finished nothing. What can I say.........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: olddude
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 01:57 PM

I actually did leave the hose running, watered the flowers since my wife is off watching my son in law do an Iron man competition. Went out this morning and turned it off ... lucky my hose doesn't leak .. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 03:52 PM

So this is what my Rog has to look forward to? I'll think I'll keep him working a while longer!LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: gnu
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 04:20 PM

Dan... your hose doesn't leak? If you memory is going, the hose will leak soon enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 04:28 PM

They've got some pills now that can help with your leaking hose.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Midchuck
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 04:34 PM

The problem isn't when you are upstairs or downstairs and can't remember why you went up, or down. It's when you're stopped halfway up and can't remember whether you were going up or down.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 05:11 PM

I guess I'm about halfway there.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 05:13 PM

Thats why Stannah have made the new High Speed Stair Lift ! Gets you upstairs before you forget what you were going upstairs for .

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Hovering Bob
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 05:46 PM

I don't remember forgeting any thing!
BobH

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: KT
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 05:46 PM

Spaw, that's the one place we didn't look for our lost car keys. Have to check it out, though we've already bit the bullet and replaced 'em. Spendy little buggers, ain't they?

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Slag
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 05:56 PM

Here's the shortened version: I DO manage to get a cup of coffee built because the IS the function of auto-pilot, is it not? I think, well, I'll just stop by the computer and see what's going on at the "'cat"! What? Time for bed already? (must be because I'm tired).

But all this will change in a few days as Sally will be back from her son's home and her new grandchild. She functions where my selective forgettery leaves off! Also she reminds me of what I just got up for or where I was headed. It's almost like NOT being retired! Cheers!

The Slaghammer!

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Naemanson
Date: 29 Aug 10 - 11:43 PM

Is it forgetfulness or procrastination. I know I have to go do my homework but have spent the whole morning half-doing other things.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: GUEST,allen davis
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 01:15 AM

Remember

" Procrastinate NOW ! "

AD

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Allan C.
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 06:13 AM

When my parents lived on their farm in West Virginia the nearest town was about a half hour away by car. More than a few times, my dad drove into town, parked at the grocery store and then had to phone Mom to ask her what he came there to get. More than once, what was needed wasn't even at the grocery!

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: leeneia2
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 09:20 AM

Such a shock for you men as you realize the complexity of the things your wives have been doing for you for years.

It's called multitasking.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: Arkie
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 08:13 PM

My problem with retirement is that there are no days off and no holidays.

Subject: RE: BS: Gentle dig at retirement
From: eddie1
Date: 31 Aug 10 - 12:18 PM

I have the ultimate remedy for all these stupid problems that people seem to have with retirement and general aging
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Oh Bugger! I forget what it was!!!

Eddie