BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!

Subject: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 10:35 AM

Seems a Bedfordshire teenager sent the White House a drunken email in which he called Obama a naughty word, fortunately this communique was deftly intercepted by the FBI and the danger it posed to the US pres. has been averted!

The youth has been banned from entering America for life, and told to wash his "potty mouth" out with soap and water (that bit's not true, but the lifetime ban is).

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 10:48 AM

I suspect there is more to this story than that, Crow Sister.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 10:56 AM

Imagine what might have been the result if he had called him something worse than a 'prick' !

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 11:29 AM

A full transcript of the email hasn't been released, so we don't know the full extent of his offensive rant but the young perp. Luke Angel recalls calling Obama a "Prick".
A spokeswoman for Bedfordshire police said it was a case of a boy "being silly".


Great photo Emma! that's the kind of thing needed to properly protect us from such enemies of the state.
When will that dangerous psychological terrorist Ian Hislop finally be detained?

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 11:36 AM

Ian Hislop should be beatified!

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 11:49 AM

"Ian Hislop should be beatified!"

Only in the eyes of his mother. Though he is almost 'cute' in a cuddly little cartoon animal way *








* this poster in no way endorses the annoying faux country accent of shitty processed chicken matter producers.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 12:50 PM

The establishment feels the same way about him as you do :)

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 03:12 PM

How does the FBI have the power to impose a lifetime ban. This reminds me of the incident where a university student in Texas heckled W junior, shortly after took office first time. He promptly passed some law that insulting the commander in chief was a punishable offence and had the kid arrested retrospectively.

Think I remember it that way. We were remarking about it at LexisNexis when it came up in the federal register.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 03:25 PM

After Chongo becomes president, the following actions will be taken.

Anyone who refers to an ape as a "monkey" will have their driving license suspended and be required to do 300 hours of community service picking up garbage and cleaning public toilets.

Those referring to an ape as a "damned dirty monkey" or "a fleabitten ape" or mentioning "poopflinging" in connection with either apes OR monkeys will be imprisoned for a minimum of 10 years....in solitary confinement...on a ration of stale bread and water, and beaten daily with a rubber hose.

Repeat offences will be punishable by immersion in boiling oil, followed by being banned from Facebook for life (assuming the offender survives the boiling oil).

Similar strict measures will be taken against anyone who refers to the Commander-In-Chief (Chongo) as a jerk, an *sshole, a f*cking ape, a knuckledragger, and 55 other highly offensive terms, all of which can be found listed in Section A, Subsection 22 of the proposed act.

I, for one, think that this sort of timely legislation is long overdue. We cannot permit open disrespect of commanders-in-chief. It hurts public confidence and threatens freedom!

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Amos
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM

Chongo IS a dirty, flea-bitten, poop-flinging monkey, or close to it. This is a matter of fact. I defy the intention of this Alien Beaver to foist his Demented Figment on the Amurikan peeple and infiltrate the White House with his scurrilous perfervid inventions.

A

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Greg F.
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 05:42 PM

Apparently the FBI doesn't have anything of substance to occupy itself with.

Jesus wept.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 05:45 PM

ook!

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 06:27 PM

LOL! You are already on the Primate Party Public Enemies List, Amos. You are in deep shit after 2012 (when Chongo gets elected). VERY deep shit. ;-) Better move to Mexico now, compadre...

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 07:02 PM

Perhaps more to the story than Mr. Angel has let on, or he's just assuming it meant for life"

From HERE:

The US Customs & Border Protection agency, which is part of the Department of Homeland Security in Washington DC, said it "would not discuss" specific cases.

However a spokesman observed there are more than 60 reasons a person could be denied entry according to the Immigration and Naturalisation Act, including health concerns, immigration violations and security concerns.

Reports in the US have questioned Mr Angel's account on the basis that homeland security rules stipulate that individuals are never told when they have been banned from the country.

For life seems a bit harsh, imo.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Sep 10 - 11:24 PM

This story reported by the Sun is not true and we apologize for having published it. The FBI doesn't call the local police of a 1,729-people village in Bedfordshire, England, to tell (them) someone is banned from entering the United States.

According to Homeland Security rules, if you are banned from entering the United States, they don't ever tell foreign nationals about it. They just deny you entry at the border because it shows up in your file.

Source: http://gizmodo.com/5637203/drunk-email-to-obama-gets-british-teen-banned-from-america-for-life

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 01:04 AM

"This story reported by the Sun is not true"

This report from the BBC relates what Bedfordshire police said to them about the incident: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-11296303

I'd certainly be disinclined to believe the Sun if they were the only source mind you.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 08:55 AM

VirginiaTam said:

How does the FBI have the power to impose a lifetime ban.

I doubt that they do. But they would refer their findings to a court, or to the Homeland Security Agency or someone else who does.

This reminds me of the incident where a university student in Texas heckled W junior, shortly after took office first time. He promptly passed some law that insulting the commander in chief was a punishable offence and had the kid arrested retrospectively.

First, the president (whoever) doesn't pass a law. Congress does.

And I doubt the truth of the incident described, in any case. That would be what's called an "ex post facto" law, which is, I believe, prohibited by the Constitution.

Do you have any reference on that alleged incident and that alleged law and the retrospective arrest?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 10:10 AM

To be fair, although from this side of the pond this story sounds like a barmy over-reaction to a teenager mouthing off online, I was reflecting on the fact that people with guns DO actually shoot at, and kill your Presidents every so often! So I guess it's all relative and that a drunken teens "threatening language" might seem somewhat more threatening over there than it would tend to do here.
The most our Prime Ministers are forced to endure is the odd lobbed egg or being ridiculed by Ian Hislop on BBC2 (I don't really think Hislop's an enemy of the state btw!). Or shocking abuse like this: Cameron is a...

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 10:14 AM

Wowee. That is pretty shocking, Crow Sister! If anyone were to try that on Chongo (once he's elected), I sure hate to think what would happen to them. Ouch. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 10:50 AM

Since the Kennedy assassination it has been US governmental policy to treat threats made against the US president very seriously. Threatening the president is treated about as lightly as saying you have a bomb in your backpack at an airport baggage check.

Still, I suspect someone in the chain of people involved in this story engaged in a bit of unauthorized embellishment. Perhaps an FBI official conversationally told someone at Scotland Yard (and that's the chain that would likely have been followed - the FBI doesn't directly talk to village police in foreign countries) that the kid would probably be banned. Then someone at Scotland Yard relayed the info to the local cops as the kid had been banned. Who knows?

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 11:16 AM

I like your scenario.   Seems quite likely.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 02:39 PM

I received an e-mail from a good friend. The e-mail informed me that George W Bush had apologized to the American people.

``My fellow Americans, I fucked you for eight years. Thanks for blaming it on the Black guy.``

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 03:41 PM

Chongo is already drafting his post-presidential apology to the American people. He's keeping it in emergency reserve, just in case things don't work out as well as he expects in 2013-2020 under his upcoming anticipated double term of office. He's also looking at getting dual Canadian-American citizenship, in case it turns out "REALLY bad". It's always good to prepare for all possible eventualities.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Sep 10 - 04:54 PM

Chongo's post-presidential apology to the American people:

"My fellow Americans, I know many of you think the shit hit the fan during my presidency. Well, that's not quite true. It didn't exactly hit the fan of its own accord. I flung that shit into the fan. Sorry, but I just couldn't help myself. Shit flinging is part of my nature. It's an ape thing. You humans wouldn't understand it."

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 10:30 AM

Heh! Heh! (chuckling quietly)

"Oh! The Anthropocity!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 10:31 AM

The FBI doesn't protect the President, the Secret Service does.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 11:35 AM

oi! Little Hawk said that Chongo would brook no comments about poo flinging.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 12:04 PM

You say "poo flinging" as if it were a bad thing! It's actually one of our simian cousins' more admirable traits. At least they're honest enough to physically pick up the poo and fling it. We humans, on the other hand, hire political advisers, campaign managers, speech writers, and video production companies to achieve the same objective.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 12:24 PM

That's a very perceptive point, Bee-dub! You are so right. I think that human beings are in fact the worst poopflingers around, but they camouflage their real intentions behind an avalanche of words. We could learn something from Chongo and his mates.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: EBarnacle
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 12:47 PM

As a being born North of the Border, I don't believe Chongo is eligible to run for pres of the US. However, he could run for VP on the Tea Bagger slate.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 01:07 PM

Well, Chongo's planning on a Constitutional Amendment regarding that...but he was not born in Canada, he was born somewhere in West Central Africa. The exact location on the map is uncertain, but he has a general idea of where it is and could probably find the actual site if he went back for a visit. His original band members are still roaming the area, despite the steady encroachment of human activities on their ancestral lands.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 01:44 PM

One of Chongo's original band members?

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: BTNG
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 10:48 AM

Next time just send the rude e-mail directly to the FBI or the U.S. Secret Service, it saves a whole lot of time and cuts out the middle man.

Subject: RE: BS: FBI Intercept Rude Email!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 10:58 AM

Now, there's an excellent idea...