BS: the folk processing of funny stuff

Subject: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:49 PM

Recently one of our cohousing community members forwarded this e-mail:

Hi there:

Last night Jan & I saw an HBO Documentary on the US-Mexico Border Security Fence. Then, this morning I came across this.

From: THE MANITOBA HERALD

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield , whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk. "

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though. "

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies.

"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada , Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

---

I loved it and wanted to pass it on, but, folklore geek that I am, I wanted to find the original source and attribute it properly.

First I tried to find the "Manitoba Herald" and discovered that the only real paper of that name was published daily for a few months in 1877.

Hmm.

The thing has been really hot on the internet in the past several weeks. I think they move around faster with bloggers and Facebook than they did via e-mail.

The first significantly earlier result I found was that Nicholas Kristoff of the NY Times copied an abbreviated version -- ending with the "Napa Cabernet" paragraph -- to his blog in 2006. He said it had been circulating by e-mail, and he didn't have any attribution on it. [Note to other searchers: I could have come on this faster if I'd started my search by copying the first sentence into the search window. That's not how I started.]

Several pages more into my Google search, an archived Bethesda Unitarian church sermon from early 2005 gave me the attribution: a November 2004 column in the Columbus Dispatch by Joe Blundo.

Once I had his name, I could look for postings with correct attribution, which showed up for the next year or two, then faded away.

Here are the key changes in the ensuing six years (there are some smaller changes in wording, too):

It originally had the title, "Canada Sending Back Bush-Dodgers".

Para. 1: was George Bush, not Tea Party; Glen Beck is added

Para. 8: Original: "Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps...", changed to "Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps..."

Para. 9: addition of "about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s." (Somebody thought the Lawrence Welk reference was insufficient?)

Para. 10: originally Susan Sarandon, not Michael Moore videos

Last para.: Originally not Biden, but Cheney, and not President Obama, but Cheney again. Paul McCartney is added. It hasn't caught up with the fact that Mary Travers is gone now; I wonder what an appropriate substitution for PPM would be. Maybe Pete Seeger - he's hot with liberals now. :-)

The other observation that I have is that it's interesting that it shows up on the blogs at both ends of the political spectrum, including military-related blogs.

I'll paste the original in the next post.

What did we do before Google?

~ Becky in Tucson
again goofing off when I should be getting ready for the drive to Long Beach!

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:53 PM

The original, as reposted Nov. 22, 2004 here. (The Columbus Dispatch only has Blundos material archived for the past 3 months.)

CANADA BUSY SENDING BACK BUSH-DODGERS

November 16, 2004 | Columbus Dispatch

by Joe Blundo

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.

The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border.

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 01:14 PM

I wrote to Joe Blundo and here is his reply (with his permission):

Yes, someone last week e-mailed me about the same thing. What really amuses me is sometimes the column appears attributed to a "Clive Runnels." I told my wife, I have a pen name and I didn't even know it. I'm starting to call myself Clive around the house.

It's kind of wacky the way they're trying to make it fit the current circumstances. Isn't it the Tea Party types who should be fleeing, since they think the country is under the control of socialists intent on subverting the Constitution and converting us all to Islam? Or maybe they're anticipating a big pendulum swing in November.

Thanks.

Joe Blundo

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 01:16 PM

Thanx, Desert Dancer! That's delicious!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 01:58 PM

Becky:

Ditch Long Beach and come to the Getaway!

And well done on your assiduous research!


A

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:21 PM

Very kewl, esp. that you found Blundo and he sent you a reply! I'll pass it on, with the proper attributions. Thanks!

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 04:54 PM

Obama, of course, would have known that the great Mary Travers will sing no more concerts...

And the Mudcat tops Google, again!

Subject: RE: BS: the folk processing of funny stuff
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 02:01 AM

Amos, might be cooler over there than it is here lately! Hotter'n Tucson hell here on the coast!

~ Becky in Long Beach this evening
(fortunately spent my time on this very important research this morning so I got here late enough that it's cooled off by 40+ degrees F. The apt. is not air-conditioned -- I'll have to find an air-conditioned wireless cafe for my telecommute back to Tucson tomorrow!)