BS: Stupidest Question Asked!

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Banjoman_CO
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 08:37 PM

Back when I was playing in coffee houses,one night I was warming up in the back room getting ready to go on. A very pretty young woman walked into the room and asked, "do you play banjo?" I didn't know what to say. Was this an evaluation of my playing or what? Needless to say, I thought about that question all the way through my set. Fred

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: bill\sables
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 08:21 PM

We get an Irish programme on TV in the UK called The Late Late Show hosted by Gae Burns. On night he was interviewing Ronnie Drew of the Dubliners He asked Ronnie "Tell me mr. Drew are you an alchoholic?"
Ronnie answered "No I'm a heavy drinker"
Gae Burns; "What's the difference between a heavy drinker and an alchoholic then Mr Drew"
Ronnie Drew; "I don't go to the meetings"
Cheers Bill

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Pelrad
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:56 PM

As for stupid questions asked of celebrities, I saw an interview with Harrison Ford on the Today Show (or something of that genre) when he was hyping Six Days, Seven Nights. The interviewer asked him if it had been difficult to play a character in love with a woman played by a lesbian. I thought it was a stupid question to be asking a professional actor, particularly when you consider the sexual preferences of much of Hollywood (As if Mr. Ford were the first actor ever to kiss a gay person playing a straight character). Gimme a break!

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: bill\sables
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:56 PM

Not a musical question but some years ago I was an assistant parachute instructor and spent part of the lecture explaining that on the aircraft we were using (a Cessna)we took off the doors before the flight so as to make it easier for exits, One student then asked "If there are no doors on the plane how do we get in?" Later while showing parachute landing falls students were required to twist at their waists so as to land on their five points of contact (feet, calf, thigh, shoulder, shoulder) This same young lady said "If I was supposed to twist like that I would have a thing in the middle for screwing" Cheers Bill

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Banjer
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:52 PM

For every stupid question is of course a swift reply. If you can keep your wits about you it can be a lot of fun. Having lost my balance attempting to carry an awkward load over a pile of material laying in our shop floor and taken what appeared to be a rather nasty fall, I was asked by several would be rescuers, "Are you all right?" My quick reply was "No dammit, I'm half left!"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:50 PM

What do you mean by is? --seed

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Pelrad
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:49 PM

This is totally off the topic, but the stupidest question I ever heard was when I worked in a pet store. A woman had come in with her children, and after much deliberation, purchased a little pet and some accessories. About two hours later, she called the shop to ask, "Do hamsters need water?" (Nah, they just suck the moisture out of the wood chips.)

Similarly, I once overheard a woman telling her son that they would get a goldfish because you didn't have to feed them. She left the store with fish, bowl and food, and an education. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 07:40 PM

"Have an accident?"

"No thanks, I've already had one."

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 06:52 PM

We perform mostly in schools. One morning, after we had hauled in all of our stuff and set up the sound system, we were sitting on the stage tuning our instruments. A teacher came in and, after watching us for a little while, she asked, "Do you tune those every day?"

We managed to stifle our urge to reply,"Only on the days we want to sound good!"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 06:18 PM

...only if he had tested out of Semantics 101, it appears....

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Peter T.
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 05:07 PM

Hilarious! More!
A student of mine asked last year if the compulsory final exam was optional.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 04:12 PM

Reminds me of a song....

I think it was in a Tom Glazer songbook. It was called "Foolish Questions". A sample:

You just fell down the (elevator) shaft,
And you're lying there inert.
Some fool comes up and asks you,
"Hey Buddy, are you hurt?"

CHO:
Foolish questions, what is there to say?
Foolish questions, you hear 'em every day.

For those of you wondering about additional lyrics, I must tell you my brain is empty. The song is not in the DT (probably a C&W song) and not on COWPIE. I am leaving work and won't be back on the 'Cat until Monday.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Mike Billo
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 04:09 PM

Recently while playing at a local bar a fellow came up to me and asked, "You're Brian, aren't you?" to which I replied, "No. My name's Mike. Mike Billo". He said, "Are you sure?"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Marion
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 02:08 PM

I live in an thin-walled apartment building and I'm a novice fiddler, so I often practice outside at a distance to prevent my neighbours from shooting me. One day when I was playing (this was less than half a year after I started fiddle) somebody walking by asked me, "Are you a professional?"

Dumb question maybe, but I liked it.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Jen
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 01:38 PM

"Can you play that?" Asked when I got my harp out of her case at a festival. Noooo... I just carry it around to look cool....*g*

"Do you have any books here?" Asked at the library where I work--seriously.

"You didn't really make that, did you?" Asked at a craft show after reading the sign that said "handmade by Jennifer St.Clair..."

"What is that thing?" Asked at same festival about my harp. I've been asked that about my flutes too, and ocarinas, of course. No one seems to know what an ocarina is.

and my #1 favorite, while sitting at the circulation desk reading the latest Stephen King...

"You don't read *that* kind of book, do you?" No, I'm just sitting here staring at the pages.

Jen

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 01:31 PM

".....testing, testing... Is this thing on?"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Allan C.
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 01:29 PM

Once I entertained a women's organization by playing a raftload of traditional songs. I included information about the histories, folk idioms, and such. I was about to finish, so I asked if there were any questions. "Yes." replied one young woman, "Do you know 'Last Kiss'?"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: erinmaidin
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 01:14 PM

I'm by no means or stretch of the imagination, famous..however...after singin' my heart out one night...some fella approached me and told me he thought I was brilliant....then asked me "Is that your real voice"? Can they be got at Wal-Mart now and I've just not been told???!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 12:52 PM

Rick,

A scathing but brilliant comeback. Everyone knows we play in gloves with the fingertips cut out.

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Cara
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 12:51 PM

But, those Canada=cold jokes are so funny...

If you'll consider waitresses as performance artists for a moment, this is the stupidest/funniest question anyone ever asked me:

During a convention at the hotel across the street, the modest "Irish" pub I work(ed) in was jam packed. This convention boasted some particularly annoying and needy attendees, so everyone's temper was a bit short. A man asked me for a Chardonnay, but whemn I brought it back to the table he said he had ordered a red wine. "I'm sorry, sir," I said, "but I'm pretty sure that you ordered a Chardonnay." "Yes," he replied, "but I wanted a RED Chardonnay." I was a little irritated, but I'm no wine expert myself so I brought him a "red Chardonnay" (a burgundy) and asked if they were ready to order. He said they were, but he had one question first: "What type of fish do y'all use in your New York strip?" (this while pointing at the section of the menu clearly labelled STEAKS AND CHOPS)

Second runner up, when I worked at a very busy Starbucks (briefly) a woman asked me if she could set her medium sized dog on the counter while she looked for change. People at Starbucks also often inquired, "Do you sell coffee?"

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 11:59 AM

Yeah, as a performer you get some astonishingly stupid questions, usually asked by radio hosts on so called "Folk Programs". As a Canadian you kind of get used to American interviewers making "Canada = Cold" questions, but my all time favourite happened a number of years ago. In an un-named City (that could have been Boston) a folk host asked (humourously) "Hey, how'd you learn to play guitar while wearing mittens?" I took it as a joke and replied (also joking) "yeah, it was difficult", then added " Do you ever reach for your capo and get your automatic weapon instead?" Naturally, he took an instant hatred to me.

Once I listened to this introduction. "Hey, remember those days of protests, coffee houses, long hair and LSD? Well, we're going to speak to R. F. right now who's been strumming his guitar all the way through it! Hey Rick, bet you can't wait for those Hootenany days to come back!"
My evil twin immediately took over. (it appears in the form of my own personal anti-stupidity super-hero to be rude when neccessary). I proceeded to mention every obscure folk musician I could think of over the (very) short interview and did my best to confuse him totally. He ALSO took an instant hatred to me...but it was worth it!

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: JedMarum
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 11:14 AM

... well I suppose many performers have similar stories of 'stupid questions' but once upon a time, when I told a pretty young woman who requested a song that I know her her request, she asked for another, and another - I knew none of the ones she ask for ... when she said, 'well just play something good,' I jokingly told her I didn't know any good songs - undeterred, she simply said; well play something that you know!

Subject: BS: Stupidest Question Asked!
From: Peter T.
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 10:59 AM

Rick's posting about Pete Seeger on CNN not being asked "How did you write 'Where Have All...?" reminded me of a small hobby I have of collecting the stupidest questions asked of famous people. Some favourites (all true, or reported as true by the victim):
Once asked of Arlo Guthrie: "What kind of name is Arlo?"
Once asked of Luciano Pavarotti: "If you weren't an opera singer, would you be Luciano Pavarotti?"
Once asked of Sigourney Weaver: "Those scenes in Alien -- could you do those on a full stomach?"
An old favourite, asked of Lily Pons: "When you aren't using your stage name, are you anybody?"
Anyone got any, maybe even asked of you?
The performers among us must have gotten really stupid requests....yours, Peter T.