BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Skivee
Date: 01 Dec 10 - 01:21 AM

The sun bloomed across the dingy streets of Key West as Ernest, drunk again, bellowed out," Horace, I'm sorry I shot your God-damned dog".

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 10:25 PM

"Damn," he said. "I forgot the reserve chute."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 05:04 PM

She said she loved me.
She's now with him.
WTF?

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Gutcher
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 05:54 AM

Nigel,the song given in my post of 22.11.20 raised the roof when sung
In the circles I travel in I am afraid yours would not even raise a
smile.
Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Nigel
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 06:50 AM

Short song?

The gallant frigate Anthracite
Sank.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Gutcher
Date: 22 Nov 10 - 04:03 PM

Bill Clinton is a notour loon and a bet he wishes he wisny.
On Seterday nichts he got his licks frae a lassie cried Lywinsky.




I sing this as the shortest song ever composed.
Pity I can"t give the tune.
Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Nov 10 - 01:17 PM

"The infant children, now full grown
slay the bear and take it home
their infants savor grizzly meat
and so the cycle does repeat"

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Nov 10 - 07:19 PM

"The Grizzly bear is huge and wild.
It has devoured the infant child.
The infant child is unaware,
It has been eaten by the bear."

A.E. Housman, “Infant Innocence”

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 21 Nov 10 - 03:28 PM

Algy meat a bear,
The bear met Algy
The bear got bulgy
The bulge was Algy

Boom Boom

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: I don't know
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:20 AM

Huff,Puff, How many more miles on this bike without getting anywhere? Well that's exercise for you!

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Sweety
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 03:58 AM

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, nice kitty.....Ouch!!!! Mammie, mammie

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Bob L
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 03:57 AM

Boy scouts. Girl guides.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: John P
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM

I'd never seen that before, Jack . . . and I thought I had read everything Dick ever wrote. I could easily see someone distilling the one from the other.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM

Is this it John P.

Those exact words are not in it and it ain't exactly science fiction but....

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/31516/31516-h/31516-h.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: John P
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:44 PM

My favorite science fiction story. I don't know who wrote it:

She smiled, and cast her eyes upon me. They bounced.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM

His back was bowed, ribs sore, legs stiff, eyes bloodshot, hands shaking. He spoke in a hoarse whisper. "Back from the Getaway."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 11:41 AM

Bound, she shrank from the strange device he held near her face. Suddenly, lasers dotted his chest . "Put down the banjo!" said the amplified voice.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 11:26 AM

She was buxom, blonde, and she smiled seductively at him as he came through the barroom door.
"Hi Mom," he said. "Long time no see."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 11:09 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 09:55 AM

Once upon a time I was born, I learnt, I worked, I had sex, I produced children and I died. Everyone lived happily ever after.

An autobiography in 25 words!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 08:11 AM

First, he moved his tongue delicately around the edges.
Then, he stuck it in, moving it around.
Moans of passion followed.
He loved cinnamon buns.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 08:01 AM

He liked it hot and spicy something with a bit of passion and fire. Rushing the door in panicky haste 'too hot for me that curry'.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Sweety
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:36 AM

Pete Skinless had been the first to arrive. The smell made him gag a little.
On the table was a tape recorder.
"Welcome" said the tape. Surprised, Skinless went over to the recorder.
"I want you to switch me off" said the recording.
Skinless seeing the state of the tape unplugged it.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:46 PM

Dolly's Parts

Dollywood security got no sense of humor. I just had to touch them. Can't get bail til Monday. It was worth it.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:41 PM

Dolly? Pardon? Cash? No bail. San Quentin.


(I dunno where my head is at...some pun on the run and I am done!)

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 10:29 PM

They stepped through the door into nothing. Nothing at all. And they could not go back for there was nothing at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 09:20 PM

Below, city lights flicker.

Steamy, car windows.

Fasteners, unfastened.

Sweaty, passonate embraces.

Volcanos erupt.

"Mom, how did you and Dad meet".

A first night recalled.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 08:44 PM

Janie, LOL! You go gyrrl!

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 08:38 PM

Were warning signs ignored? What made her snap, troubled emotions? Was he at fault? The note just read, "clean your own dirty house, I'm gone!"

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 07:27 PM

Careful... I have 3-4 books of parodies of Bulwer-Lytton

Some ARE under 25 words, although the trend is to long ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 07:10 PM

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out. At home, a young wife was waiting. The ship pitched wildly.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Janie
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 06:43 PM

20 years since the SOB brought that plant home to me. Don't know why I brought it with me.

Frost kill.

Free at last.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 06:43 PM

He fell off the top chapter of twenty-five story book.



*copied, but still genius* "The last man on earth sat alone in his room. There was a knock on the door."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 06:21 PM

Amos, That's four stories. Poorly written they must have been.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 06:17 PM

"Shame McBride?" he asked. "I know him. Ugly, stinking, useless, drunken, slobbering, piggish, knuckle-dragging, loutish, animal. We'll do the contract on him pro bono."

25 words exactly.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 03:44 PM

JACK!! That is SIXTY TWO WORDS! He yelled, waving his Luger menacingly. A shot rang out.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 03:12 PM

He saw a sign for a meeting of the schizophrenia group, and thought. I've half a mind to go to that.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: kendall
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 02:39 PM

"I think I'm turning gay" he said, half in Ernest.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 02:21 PM

I've just about reached breaking point, he snapped.

Not original, but bears repeating.
**********************************************************************
Then there's the immortal..

Poem for a girl petrol pump attendant.

I wanted your soft verges,
but you gave me the hard shoulder.
**********************************************************************
I'm not feeling myself today, he said. Trying to undo his handcuffs.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 02:07 PM

The four vital ingredients of all fiction, so they say, are sex, high-life, reversal of fortune, mystery.

Hence that monumental classic:

"Fuck," said the Duchess, "I'm pregnant. Who did it?"


~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:51 PM

They deesided that Raparee had to go. So they all got, like, together and kilt him. Then he was dead. About flippin' time, eh? Decent.

- Shane

p.s. Eggzactly 25 words, eh? I am a flippin' geenious!

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:45 PM

BS
The war started.
Bang, Bang, Bang.
The war ended.
BS

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: GUEST,Sweety
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:06 PM

News bulletin: traffic in down town Manhattan has come to a standstill.
A man with a foghorn was heard to say
I have a beginning, a middle and then he shot himself.
It will be dry and humid today.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: kendall
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 12:52 PM

As the calf landed on his face in the muck it said, "Shit, I didn't want to be a cow."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:43 AM

Uh-oh, she thought, what have I Spawned now, just as the deluge took the site down.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:36 AM

A name changed. Results are in. No one cared.
Nothing to spell out.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:32 AM

Inside the tomb, he found the Book of Life. He opened it, trembling, and read, "Read the last 25 words." They were in Klingon script.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM

"Yum! Sausage!" Thought the shark. Up on the bridge Spaw screamed. Mrs Spaw sighed and said "Finally! Thank God."

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:24 AM

One month in he was confident he made a perfect choice. Then he met Sarah. Then divorce and remarriage, then Betty.

He was confident he made a perfect choice. Then Bruce sashayed into his life and showed him his true self.

Perfect choices are easy when there are no options. Tower One was burning. He jumped.

For sale, clown shoes, never worn.

Subject: RE: BS: Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 11:20 AM

One side effect of sharks learning to navigate fresh water: Spaw's schlong is now much shorter.