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BS: Thinking
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Subject: RE: BS: Thinking From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:55 PM Thinking was banned by The Corporate Bastards about 20 years back..heard they made a few bucks since then..... I think a lot, about why so many don't think any longer. It worries me, puzzles me, bamboozles me, angers me and scares me... Great 'cut and paste', kendall, even without the punchline...I think... |
Subject: RE: BS: Thinking From: Bobert Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:12 PM After "thinking" is outlawed: Cop: "You been thinkin', son/" Pulled over driver: "Yeah, I confeess... I have been thinking but I ain't thunk..." Never mind... B~ |
Subject: BS: Thinking From: kendall Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:58 AM I know that cut and paste is about as popular as a wet dog at a wedding here, but this is too good to not share. > It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. > > I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. > > That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself. > > I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" > > One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." > > This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confess, "I've been thinking..." > > "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" > > "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." > > "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking,we won't have any money!" > > "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. > > She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. > > "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. > I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed. > > To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. > > This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, > somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. > > Today I took the final step............ I joined the Republican Party. > > > |