BS: If today was yer last beer!

Subject: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 01:57 PM

I got to talk to the little brother on the phone, eh? I tole him about all the stoopid things that has been said arownd here about him and the sicthewation he is in. He got kinda pissed offf cos he is under maximal stress right now, eh? The cops and the preechers are gettin' under his skin. Anyways, he wanted me to lanch a threade here for him when he hearn about some of the stuff people are sayin' here and it is this one.

Shane's question for all of youse is:

What if today was yer last beer! ???

What would you flippin' do? How would you take it? WOULD you take it? Well, you would flippin' have to, eh? Cos it would be the LAST one!

Shane says that he would flippin' cry without shame if he knew that today was his last beer. Then he would call all his friends arownd and have a flippin' wake. The beer would stand in a place of flippin' honour for all to see. It would have some ice packed arownd it. At the stroke of flippin' midnight Shane would open that beer and drink it...not fast like yewshual...but sloooow so as to taste every last drop. He would finally hold the empty bottle upside down and catch the last drops and foam on his tung. Then he would put his finger as far in the bottle as he could to get anything that was left in there. He would flippin' sniff the remainin' beer fumes till they was all gone.

Then he would bust out cryin' again cos the world as we flippin' know it would be OVER AND DONE!

Don't get real upset readin' about this, okay? I have seen the Molson's brewery. They are not gonna run out of beer any time soon, eh?

It is just a imagnigary idea, okay? Don't go jumpin' out of no windows. PUt that gun away! The beer is not gonna run out. No flippin' way! I can garan-dam-tee it.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 02:03 PM

And I'm still only halfway through '300 Beers to try before you die'!

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: gnu
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 02:32 PM

Have another.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 03:16 PM

I'll drink to that!

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 04:47 PM

In Heaven there is no beer,
That's why we drink it here;
And when we're gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 06:12 PM

You have the last line wrong. It should be

...Our friends will be drinking all OUR beer.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 06:27 PM

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B~(

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 06:48 PM

"In Heaven There Is No Beer is a song about the existential pleasures of beer drinking. The title of the song is the reason to drink beer while you are still alive. The song in German is "Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier", in Spanish, "En El Cielo No Hay Cerveza". It was originally composed as a movie score for the film Die Fischerin vom Bodensee, 1956, by Ernst Neubach and Ralph Maria Siegel. The English lyrics are credited to Two Ton Baker or to Joe Trolli and Frankie Yankovic."

"In heaven there is no beer.
That's why we drink it here (Right Here!)
When we're gone from here,
all our friends will be drinking all our beer!"

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 08:54 PM

Bobert, as long as you keep drinkin' that Iron City yer beer is safe.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 09:02 PM

La morale de cette histoire,
C'est a boire avant de mourir.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 10:24 PM

What are ya' tryin' to say, Rap???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Beer
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 10:49 PM

"If today was yer last beer!", I would order another case.
ad.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 11:36 PM

I meant yer last beer EVER! I mean that's what Shane menat. What are you people?.....stoopid?

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Smokey.
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 12:28 AM

Oh dear.. that only leaves vintage port and malt whisky. How tragic.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 03:18 AM

It would not be a Foster's that's for sure, I think I would go for the option to die.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Musket
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 04:36 AM

My favourite beer is my next one.

T'was ever thus

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: leeneia
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 10:17 AM

Don, I sympathize. It is so hard to have an intelligent discussion on the Mudcat, especially where beer is involved.

But to answer your question, here's what I would do.

1. Order a pizza.

2. Make a salad.

3. Open a bottle of Kansas City's own Boulevard beer and pour half into my special terracotta 'glass' which has a beautiful, swirling green glaze on the interior.

4. Hand the bottle to my true love, who will drink the other half.

5. Enjoy beer, pizza and salad.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: olddude
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 11:25 AM

Buffalo Chicken Wings (medium hot)
A Labatts blue

A bottle of chrons medicine when I am finished

heaven yes ... but hell in the bathroom later on

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 10:47 AM

parboil country ribs
prepare own BBQ sauce
have hubby crisp em up on the grill

open beer
luxuriate

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 10:50 AM

Make sure the tap was properly installed. I wouldn't want any leakage from the keg.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 10:54 AM

Old dude, I believe you can fix that problem by following the wings with a glass of milk.

I made the mistake a eating a little chorizo in Arizona once. 20 mins later the ache started. About an hour later we found a QuikTrip where I bought a pint of milk. Gulped it down. Instant relief.

(There are chemicals in the milk which neutralize the acids in the spicy wings.)

Sour cream might do it, too.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:36 PM

Been thinking about this late at night... all night...lately.

Selfish, but, even tho I gave up hunting some years back... get dressed up in my woods gear and load up my pockets with ammo, grab my Baikal o/u 12 gauge, drive to the edge of a heath where I hunted for 38 years and walk into the bush.

Or were you just askin about not drinkin any more beer? What was the meta for? I am confused... easily.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:55 PM

Umm, gnu? I think you got mixed up with the tother thread that was exactly like this only not quite the same.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 08:30 PM

Thanks froggy. That clears it up.

KEEP! Around for the table good sir!

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: goatfell
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 07:23 AM

i don't drink alckihol

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 02:31 PM

What the flip? You must be jokin'! Do ya have sex? Eat pizza? Watch hockey?

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: gnu
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 02:46 PM

Kinda personal eh Don? Or, are you askin a personal question?

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 03:49 PM

It would be personal if I ast WHO he was havin sex with. Or not.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 04:00 PM

If today were my last beer, I'd like one more Doppelbock, like the one I had in downtown Vienna a couple years back. Trader Joe's came out with a double bock as its winter ale, and it's almost as good. So, maybe I'll have a Trader Joe's and live to drink another beer....

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: saulgoldie
Date: 17 Apr 11 - 06:42 AM

It is not clear to me *why* this is my last beer. Is it because the brewery is closing? Is it because beer is being made illegal? Is it because I am about to die?

1) There are other breweries and other beverages.

2) Being illegal won't stop the brewers, distillers, and "messengers."

3) In that case (case!) it would not matter so much what brew, but that I was in the company of my good friends and loved ones. Although, I would prefer it not be any of the American piss-beers. And there better be a wide dance floor and a good band ready, because "Damn the man that dares to let my farewell party die."

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 11 - 11:44 AM

I think you are free to make up your own reason for why it would be your last beer.

Subject: RE: BS: If today was yer last beer!
From: JHW
Date: 17 Apr 11 - 04:02 PM

My Myspace page says:-

INFLUENCES
Timothy Taylor's Landlord, George Bateman's XXXB, Moorhouse's Black Cat, Belhaven 80/-, Deuchar's IPA, Butcombe Bitter.
Sadly Departed Friends: Gale's HSB, Younger's No3
The Gale's and Younger's have alas gone before me so any of those others will do