BS: Useless

Subject: BS: Useless
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 12 May 11 - 02:53 PM

World's most Useless Machine - new version

Unlike previous versions of the classic "useless machine," this one flies into a rage and "defends itself" against anyone who attempts to exploit it's "uselessness."

Perhaps someone has observed the interactions of some mudcat pundits?

Video - fairly long (1:46), and you must watch the whole thing.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 May 11 - 02:59 PM

LMAO!!

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 12 May 11 - 03:07 PM

Weird! I felt as if the box was distressed and frantic, it definitely has a personality!

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 11 - 03:16 PM

Me too... hahhahaa.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Bill D
Date: 12 May 11 - 04:58 PM

more useless than the box that you turn on, whereupon a finger comes out and turns itself off?

Oh...wait...sorry... and machine that turns off is anything but useless.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Bill D
Date: 12 May 11 - 05:00 PM

HA! posted before I saw the video.... just a newer version. This one is fast.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Bill D
Date: 12 May 11 - 05:03 PM

hmmppf! THIS one is useful... it clears messy desks!

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 May 11 - 05:10 PM

I want one!

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 11 - 05:14 PM

Dave... I thought you were married already.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Gurney
Date: 12 May 11 - 06:50 PM

I once saw a programme about a Japanese contest for the most inefficient vehicle. It was won by a human-powered electric tricycle.
The inventor pedalled like mad just to make it move at all!

I wouldn't say that the machine above is entirely useless. It would keep some people entertained for whole minutes.


I once had a friend who could fairly be described as 'A simple machine for turning beer into piss.'
We deserved each other, I think. Wonder where he is now!

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 13 May 11 - 01:05 AM

A friend some years ago had a little balsa wood box with a red button that said "Do Not Push."

When someone (inevitably) pushed the button, a little stamp pad popped up and made a red circle on the victim's fingernail, and then it all snapped back shut. (The entire internal mechanism consisted of two pieces of bent paper clip and a rubber band, with a short bit of 1/4 inch dowel for the "stamper.") We told the curious ones they'd just received a "red badge of courage."

A less friendly acquaintance came in later with a similar little box from a local "magic shop," with a similar little red button similarly marked, but when you pressed the button on his the button went down, but the needle in the middle of the button didn't. He was properly informed that it was not a particularly funny joke, and both he and his box disappeared shortly after (for reasons in addition to the box).

But of course both of those failed the "useless" test since they both actually did something.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: kendall
Date: 13 May 11 - 05:27 AM

I had a wife like that

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Mavis Enderby
Date: 13 May 11 - 08:27 AM

Excellent! Reggie Perrin would be proud.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 13 May 11 - 11:50 AM

lol kendall, so whenever you got her turned on, she was instantly turned off again?

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: kendall
Date: 13 May 11 - 04:24 PM

Are you asking me for the truth? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 May 11 - 10:35 PM

Back in the '60s I heard tell of a Handy Home Fuseblower. You plugged it in & turned on the switch, whereupon a pilot light went on, verifying that the appliance was plugged in. Then you pushed the button, and the pilot light went out, verifying that it had blown the fuse.

I never actually saw one, but I'd be happy to make one for, oh, $100.

Subject: RE: BS: Useless
From: Donuel
Date: 13 May 11 - 11:02 PM

John, Your interpretation of the behavior of this machine is sage brilliant genius.

To state it so clearly and blatently however may be very dangerous for some people. For those whom this machine imitates, if they ever thought their life was meaningless and blindly reactive they are now certain and might now commit suicide with a clear conscience and complete understanding of their life and enviornment.

Oh, wait...now I see, I am the pundit you refered to.

Well, Its time I have a Kentucky Hot Brown Sandwich and take a bath with my Wallmart toaster.

Thanks for the fish.
Donuel