BS: Exploding Watermelons in China

Subject: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:22 PM

Apparently a bunch of Chinese farmers decided to use some kind of growth chemical on their watermelons, and when there was a lot more rain than predicted... they (the melons, not the Chinese) are exploding "like land mines" throughout the fields! I didn't Google it for you, you'll have MUCH more fun looking this up for yourselves. But what a funny news item!

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:58 PM

Top brass a tthe Pentagon are currently meeting to determine whether or not these exploding Chinese watermelons are actually some sort of new biological weapon and, if so, can they be duplicated.

Imagine the money the DOD could save by growing landmines instead of having to buy them.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:10 PM

It's all some sort of Commie Plot to destroy America!

Obviously.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Bobert
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:12 PM

What next???

Veggies put on the terrorist watch list???

Sheet fire!!!

Fact is definitely stranger - by far - than fiction...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: bobad
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:16 PM

Oh Dem Watermelons.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:19 PM

We need an International Treaty To Ban Watermelons!

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: bobad
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:23 PM

Oh Dem Watermelons take 2.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: michaelr
Date: 18 May 11 - 01:34 AM

Was Gallagher involved?

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:09 AM

One news report at Exploding Melons.

I didn't read it when it first appeared because it sounded like a fairly well known sort of crop loss in melons. When it happens naturally it's usually just a few melons in a crop, but this does appear to be more extensive. The growth accelerator isn't really necessary if certain somewhat unusual weather occurs during the growth season, especially late in the season; although the "authorities" seem convinced that the accelerant was used and that the damage is more severe than usual for the natural case.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:43 AM

I read the thread title and was expecting a story on the effects of cremation on silicon enhanced boobs!

Or that's what I would have expected if I hadn't heard the story on Radio 2 this morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 18 May 11 - 06:48 AM

Actually, Nigel, you've got me wondering... what DOES happen to 'enhanced boobs' at the crematorium?

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 May 11 - 07:37 AM

From what I've read they are removed first (along with replacement hips etc.,)
Otherwise (in the case of the implants) the melted silicon can make a real mess of the incinerator & the burner jets.

Crematorium applications include questions on whether the body has any artificial parts to be considered.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 11 - 12:02 PM

Now THAT's thread creep!

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 18 May 11 - 12:35 PM

Bee-Dubya-ell: "Imagine the money the DOD could save by growing landmines instead of having to buy them."

Not really, those particular 'farm subsidies' would make up only PART, the original cost, ..................and then of course, to the 'right' farmers!!


Whadya' forget?

Regards,
GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 18 May 11 - 01:53 PM

I see, Nigel. Sorry to harp on, but who exactly removes these items before cremation?

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 18 May 11 - 02:30 PM

I once dated a girl who embalmed and prepared corpses for burial and/or cremation. I imagine someone like her would remove items that would foul up the burners.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 11 - 02:30 PM

What a job, eh? Do they get to pull the gold teeth, too?

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Gurney
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:36 PM

It used to be common in China that gold and jade teeth were invested in, then removed to pay for the funeral. Makes sense, eh.

Growth chemicals. After they wrecked the watermelons, those watermelons are fed to livestock...
Happy eating.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 May 11 - 01:18 PM

After they wrecked the watermelons, those watermelons are fed to livestock ...

Does that suggest exploding Chinese livestock on the horizon?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Bettynh
Date: 19 May 11 - 02:23 PM

This reminds me of the year of the exploding chickens. Don't remember it? Let me remind you...

There was a midwest heatwave ( I can't find exactly which one, either 1988 or 1995) and people were dying in Chicago. Livestock were severely affected as well. Hogs and cattle were dropping in overheated barns. The AP wire service also added that chickens were exploding in their battery cages. This was reported calmly by all the evening TV news hours - ABC, CBS, NBC and possibly PBS. There were videos of sweating, sad farmers and obviously heat stressed cows and pigs. Finally, an NPR reporter went to a chicken farmer and asked if the chickens were actually exploding. Nope, said the farmer. Chickens just keel over like the cows and pigs. It's an awful mess, but no explosions. In our family "exploding chickens" has come to represent something that "everyone" knows just because "everyone" says so, without actually looking for a source.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: Donuel
Date: 20 May 11 - 04:52 AM

I am sorry to hear about the thousands of people who have lost their feet, legs , hands and lives to these dastardly
Water Land Melon Mines

Lady Di would be outraged.

Subject: RE: BS: Exploding Watermelons in China
From: ChrisJBrady
Date: 20 May 11 - 05:01 AM

Growth acceleration chemicals. So they're feeding said melon remains to animals. And the Idiot Cycle continues.

But then the Chinese don't give a toss about human health - how many dairies have been shut down and the directors executed for the melamine poisoning of baby milk products?

Its all on a par with the GMO muck that Monsanto is forcing on the world.