BS: Shakespeare Insult Generator

Subject: Shakespeare Insult Generator
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Jul 11 - 03:44 PM

Still funny! (OLd thread closed.)

http://www.william-shakespeare.org.uk/a2-shakespeare-insult-generator.htm

Looks like new URL.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Shakespeare Insult Generator
From: alanabit
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 05:05 AM

Thank-you Susan. I am sure I shall need this!

Subject: RE: BS: Shakespeare Insult Generator
From: Little Robyn
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 05:25 PM

Blicky here.

Robyn

Subject: RE: BS: Shakespeare Insult Generator
From: robomatic
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 05:41 PM

Scenes from "Pulp Fiction" in Shakespearian parlance:

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.


...


J: My pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: How passing strange, for I have traveled far,
And never have I heard tell of this What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: The Queen's own English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou hoped to rape him like a chattel whore,
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With anyone but she to whom he wed.

Subject: RE: BS: Shakespeare Insult Generator
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 09:53 PM

Thou barbarous rump-fed slug