BS: Don't Try This At Home

Subject: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 01:56 PM

GLENDALE, Calif. (AP) -- A Southern California man stuck a butter knife into his belly in a failed bid at self-surgery to remove a painful hernia, police said Tuesday.

The wife of the 63-year-old Glendale man called 911 on Sunday night and told the emergency operator her husband was using a knife to remove a protruding hernia, Sgt. Tom Lorenz said.

"She said he had impaled himself with a knife," Lorenz said.

Officers found the man naked on a patio lounge chair outside his apartment with a 6-inch butter knife sticking out of his stomach.

The man's wife told officers that her husband was upset about the hernia and wanted to take it out.

While waiting for paramedics, the sergeant said, the man pulled out the knife and stuffed a cigarette he was smoking into the bleeding, open wound.

"What he was thinking, I don't know. I don't know if he was cauterizing it (the wound)," Lorenz said.

The man wasn't screaming or showing any signs of pain, the sergeant said.

Based on his actions and statements from the wife, Lorenz said the man was placed on psychiatric hold and taken to Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center.

Because he's on psychiatric hold for up to 72 hours under the state Welfare and Institutions Code, Lorenz said the man's name and condition cannot be released.

"You just never know what to expect," said Lorenz, who has been on the police force for 29 years. "I've seen self-mutilation, but not a maneuver like this."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 02:03 PM

No insurance?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 02:13 PM

No solar plexus?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: olddude
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 02:16 PM

Smoking some outstanding weed

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 03:22 PM

A mental patient where my wife worked had an "interesting" attention-getting device; on at least a couple of occasions, he managed to slice himself open enough to pull out some intestines. He was treated and survived at the time, but died several years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 07:54 PM

What a dimbulb! You don't do do-it-yourself hernia surgery with a butter knife. You're supposed to use a K-Bar.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 01:04 AM

I thought the correct term for this sort of thing was seppuku, and you didn't use a butter knife.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 10:28 AM

It is obvious that for whatever reason - mental illness, drug use, brain damage - the guy's elevator does not go to the top story. We'll probably never know why this happened.

Gnu, in the U.S, people who have no money can get medical care through Medicaid.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 03:51 PM

I immediately pictured a man hanging himself...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 05:19 PM

Just as a general thing, it's wise to remember that the words, "Hey, Everybody! Watch this!!" is almost invariably followed by a trip to the nearest emergency room.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 06:58 PM

So true, Don. Another phrase is "Just hold my beer!"

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 07:06 PM

Ever see the Far Side cartoon where there's a group of fat young dogs up on a hill, obviously drunk, empty beer bottles scattered around them, other beers in hand, and they're yelling "Go get him, Bill!" "You can take him, Bill!" as another young dog, fist clenched, head down, makes his way pugnaciously down the hill toward....

...a zoo with a large lion pen.

Inside the pen a huge male lion is looking out through the fence around his open enclosure, looking up the hill with a bemused, "What is THIS I see????" look on his face.

The title below the cartoon: "Young dogs and alcohol...the tragic story."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 08:51 PM

Don Firth: "Just as a general thing, it's wise to remember that the words, "Hey, Everybody! Watch this!!" is almost invariably followed by a trip to the nearest emergency room."

Don't believe it!...only losers who never tried anything extraordinary would say that!
As a rule, though, I wouldn't believe anything Don says.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:34 PM

"As a rule, though, I wouldn't believe anything Don says."

I see a cartoon in that. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:41 PM

Speaking of cartoons, contemplate the possible illustrations for the following line:

"A nervous titter ran through the crowd."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:44 PM

Ha! That could be hilarious!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 12:09 AM

I've met Don and I believe everything he says, within reason.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 11:52 AM

A man was seen casting espursions at a town hall meeting.
A bomb unit, animal control and hazarous waste unit was called to the scene by the 9-11 switchboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM

My guess is that Don would be way more likable in 3-D life than by way of his keyboard across a damned computer screen. ;-) I could say that about a lot of other people here too.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 02:27 PM

"A nervous titter ran through the crowd."

Don Firth

That minds me of the Mad Magazine cartoons... excellent. Odd, just yesterday I noticed Alfred at the newstand and was tempted to by a copy. Never missed an issue when I was a lad.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: PatrickRose
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 04:58 PM

Don't be silly, just "Just hold my beer" or "Hey, everybody! Watch this!" are nowhere near as likely to preclude a trip to the ER as "Hey, everybody! Watch this! Just hold my beer..."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't Try This At Home
From: Joe_F
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 09:27 PM

You don't _remove_ a hernia; you _repair_ it, usually by putting a mesh over the gap it protrudes thru. (By chance, that was done to me just today.) If that character had actually succeeded in removing the protruding section of gut, he would have been in serious trouble.