BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames

Subject: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 01:58 AM

Reminded of this by a recent great tho elaborate post by Dave A on the current Jokes thread; tho this question just a spin-off -

Some time ago, I knew, simultaneously but separately [i.e. they didn't know one another] two young women, one called Angharad and one called Thomasina. The first was always addressed as Harry by her friends, the other as Tommy.

I knew them both well enough to remark that, If I had a beautiful name like Thomasina or Angharad, I would murder any body who called me Tommy or Harry.

I got the identical answer from both: "I don't like it, but I can't stop them doing it." I should have thought that just saying "I would rather be known by my real name rather than a diminutive, please" should have done the trick, but they both insisted their acquaintances were incorrigible in this matter.

I do know that some welcome, and request, such familiarities (I was once introduced to a young woman called Angela who said "Call me Jelly" ~~ I could scarcely believe my ears, but there it is!) ~ but these two didn't.

I can imagine too that the same problem might arise with other unwelcome nicknames as well as these over-familiar forms of name.

Anyone here suffer from this particular form of friend-abuse? &/Or can suggest any solution?

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,999
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 04:32 AM

They shouldn't have called him four eyes!

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 06:23 AM

Good response, Bruce. Perhaps i should have offered my two young friends Thomasina & Angharad the loan of my peashooter!.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:03 AM

I'd say just don't react to someone using a diminutive that you don't like. If you don't reply to it, and, maybe just say 'oh, were you talking to me - that's not my name' the message might just get through.

I have no problem with my name being shortened - I don't really like the full version - but Kendall does not like being called Ken by any but close friends and family. I have been given permission to call him Ken but like his full name a lot better. Just don't ever call him Kenny (no joke - he hates it).

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:21 AM

I was called Skinny Lizzie as a child at school, because I was skeletally thin. I also got called The Galloping Hairpin when I began horseriding. I always laughed at these names, I was genuinely amused by them and not in the least upset. I think this cheerful response stopped any unpleasant teasing. But as an adult, I do feel overfamiliarity is a domination game, a way of putting someone down. If you suspect this, have a quiet word with the perpetrator and firmly insist on being addressed correctly. If they persist, you can refuse to respond to them. You have to make a stand or they will continue to dominate you.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:54 AM

Some people like to get a rise out of folks-- in-person trolling? So ignoring (failing to rise to the bait) would be a first strategy.

But also it can be hard for people to tell the difference between a nervous giggle of discomfort and a "stop it" facial expression, and even nice people will sometimes misread a cue and think they are getting a happily-tickled response inviting further use of the unwelcome nickname. By the time they realize it's hurtful, they've already formed a habit.

I had a lulu of a bad nickname from one really good friend in HS, which quickly spread to "non-friends." (I think when he fist coined it he was inviting me to play, in a way, by giving him one equally shocking. And I don't play that way.) But I had good results with having a private chat with the better class of friends and acquaintances who hadn't realized they were causing pain.

It doesn't work to have the chat WHEN they use the nickname-- it needs to be a separate chat, ending with, "... thanks for understanding; how can I help you stop doing that when you slip and do it again?"

Of course nowadays we know much more about the harmful effects of bullying kids, but back in my HS years it was still considered entertainment. There was a round of malicious rumors I was able to stop by reporting the source to school authorities. So with nicknames I suppose appealing to higher-ups is a potential recourse (such as in the workplace), when unwelcome nicknames become part of sexual harassment or other discriminatory patterns of behavior.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 08:27 AM

on my birth certificate Tamara (pronounced like camera) Linn

Parents shortened it to Tammylinn with southeast Virginia drawl - which I hated.

Sibs, cousins and schools friends called me Tammy. I hated it.

Fast forward to 30 years old, I killed Tammy and insisted everyone call me Tamara even my mother and aunts, etc.

Fast forward to 40+ move to UK, and everyone pronounced my name Timahrah. I hate it. Tamara rhyming with camera I tried to explain. They treat me like I am raving loony for wanting my name pronounced the way it was pronounced in southeast Virginia when I was growing up.    There were several Tamaras (rhyming with camera) in my school.

Got fed up told people to call me Tam. Occasionally Tammy slips out.

I give up.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:33 AM

If I find what you call me insulting I'll let you know, and you may even survive not to do it again.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Lighter
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:04 AM

In my day ('50s and '60s) the most common masculine names were routinely converted to the conventional nicknames: James > Jim or Jimmy, Edward > Ed, John > Johnny, William > Bill. The nicknames were generally preferred even by the nicknamed.

(Jack and Hal were too obscure for American use.)

In recent decades, though, I've noticed that this hardly ever happens. James is James, period. In fact, it now seems to happen more frequently with feminine names.

Has anyone else noticed this? How crazy am I?

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:07 AM

I was called Skinny Lizzie as a child at school

I believe my mother got called that or similar too. I don't think it's connected but she doesn't like being called any of the diminutives of Elizabeth. I on the other hand prefer Jon or Jonny to Jonathan.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: olddude
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:10 AM

My little brother had bad allergies growing up so his nose was always running ... kids would call him "boogers" That was a mistake when I was around for sure a lot of kids went home with black eyes ..

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:35 AM

I once worked in an office with a young woman who was called 'Penny'.... then after a year or so, she suddenly announced that her given name was Priscilla, and she did not really like 'Penny'. It took a few weeks for everyone in the office to 'get it', but she sucessfully got rid of a childhood nickname.


What *I* don't really understand is why so many women allow, tolerate, approve of...etc., cutesy little names like 'Bubbles', 'Bambi', 'Bunny', 'Kitten', 'Muffin', etc...etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Tiger
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:40 AM

I used to go with a girl named Virginia.

They called her "Virgin" for short, but not for long.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:41 AM

Matter of taste, Bill. I told you above of the Angela I knew who liked to be Jelly ~~ I could never understand it [nor FTM bring myself to use it, which I suppose was offending in the same, tho vice-versa, way as those who insisted on diminutivising my young friends' names in the OP] ~~

but, anyhow, there it was.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:44 AM

Have also known some who hated their given names and insisted on a nickname or diminutive: a Naomi who had to be called Bim; an Evangeline who will only respond to Evie...

Oddly enough, re above few-back post I too knew a Priscilla who was always called Penny. Is this a general usage? If so, why, I wonder?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:46 AM

My mother was named Eudora, which was kinda hard for very young kids, but NO ONE over the age of 10 or so was allowed to call her "Aunt Dodo".

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:53 AM

My late father disliked both his given names, Alfred and Tom (not Thomas, Tom, as a given name) and managed to get called "Dick". No accounting for taste.

I find the trend towards strange given names very odd, and again it seems largely to be for females although I see more pagan-style forenames than formerly for men as well. It seems that people from Essex (and occasionally elsewhere) think them "classy" although I really don't see the "class" in "Peaches" "Brooklyn" "Seven" or "Chardonnay".

There is also a great trend towards the forenames used by media stars - whether they previously were in use as names as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Will Fly
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:05 AM

No-one's ever called me "Muffin"... [sigh]...

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:36 AM

'Muffin Will Fly?" Has a certain cachet.

A sister in law of mine introduced me to a coworker of hers. Coworker says, You can call me 'Punkin'.

I thought, No, I can't.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:45 AM

Now's your chance, Muffin.
.........................
VirginiaTam - you can't blame people here for not being aware of Tamara as camera. It's a common enough name, here, but it's never been pronounced that way, except maybe as a joke or when teasing someone.

Angela "call me Jelly" sounds like fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:13 PM

I am both abuser and abused......sorta'...............

I tend to use some alternative name sometimes as a form of casual friendship or famiarity way. Sometimes these stick but occasionally they offend so I am probably more careful now than I used to be. I was quite appreciative of Ron Olesko a number of years back for letting me know that I had offended him over something having to do with his name. I like Ron and he does tolerate me to some degree so I apologized. I didn't recall the remark as those type of things are often just throw-off lines but I appreciated being told!

On the other hand, I have many around here who may hate it but I have used something that stuck and they've gone along with it. Lonesome EJ became Leej for instance....Dave Swan, El Swanno, etc. I have no idea now who first used "Spaw" instead of catspaw49 but it stuck and now very few 'Catters refer to me as anything else even in person. When I call someone here I generally sound a bit confused when they answer by saying, "Hi....This is Spaw, uh, Pat Patterson, er,uh, Catspaw?.......from Mudcat?"........

One thing that is pretty true overall is no one uses my given name, Patrick. Quite rightly, my parents knew that when your last name is Patterson they're going to call you "Pat."    Oddly enough though, only a very few folks called my Dad Pat. He was named Walter James but never used either as a name. A very select few called him Walt or Walter, a few used Pat but most everyone knew him as "Unk." I never knew why.

So I come by it naturally I guess. My Dad was a railroader where nicknames were common. Sometimes they had several. Dad was known as a "smooth rider" engineer....meaning the train crew in the caboose got a smooth ride because the guy at the controls knew how to run slack in and out without throwing them on their heads. For this he was "Cadillac Man." In the early sixties when Snoopy and The Red Baron became popular he started telling other railroaders that he was a direct descendant of von Richtofen......a complete fabrication of course but..............He started using the "Red Baron" name on the radios and within a year we were getting a shitload of Christmas cards addressed to "The Red Baron."

Did I mention that my Ol' Man loved to latch onto something and then just beat everyone to death with it for the sake of simple amusement? Sound familiar?   The older I get the more I realize...........................

Oh yeah......No one has ever called me Patrick except my Mom when she was mad at me..............'course she never much used Pat either........called me "Patfrank."...............Even though I really didn't like it then, I knew she used it as a term of love so it was obviously okay.......and I miss that....and her.


Spaw, uh,Pat, er,uh,catspaw49?

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:18 PM

I love my name, Kathleen, but thought I was just "Kathy" until second grade as that is what my family called me. (Though I know there were a few times, when angry at me, my mom would use my full name. She would also call me "Katrinka" because I was born in NDak where there was/is a high population of Scandinavian folks.)

I became a "Katey" when a boss with the same name told me there couldn't be two Kathleens in the same dept. As a funny thing my nieces and nephew call me, sometimes, Aunt Loo as in "Ooo, even kissed Aunt Loo" 'cause my middle name is Louise, which I also like. Then I came to Mudcat and became Kat. I prefer Kat or Katey...hate, absolutely, "Kathy" for myself. What I really loved was, out of similar discussion on here, I started using Kat'leen and Sandy Paton always addressed me that way, esp. in emails. To my dad I was "Katty" which I really love.

I've pretty much got my family trained, though my one remaining aunt, who is old, still calls me Kathy. I would never bother her about it, now, though. She's too old and frail.

I have a sister named Priscilla. I've never, ever heard anyone named that called Penny! My sister is Pris, sometimes, but mostly Priscilla.

In grade school, because of red hair in a ponytail and freckles, I got teased about being "Woody Woodpecker." Brats!

kat/katey/katty/kathleen/AuntLoo

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:24 PM

Years ago here in the west of Ireland a feller used to appear at all the sessions armed with a tape recorder, push his way to the front and record the music, without bothering to ask aybody.
He is still remembered as 'The Tape Worm'. He was, in appearance, not unlike a number of actors who appeared in some of the old black-and-white French detective films - shortish, little moustache, always wore a gaberdine mac... (dead ringer for Peter Sellers' Clouseau) - remembered by film buffs as 'Le Flic'
Not so uncomlimentary:
The Sean Nós singer Seamus Mac an Iomair (Sean Connery) is always referred to as 007
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:32 PM

How I see it, you are entitled to use any version of your name, even if it might be thought of as a separate name by the ignorami. So if you are Richard you are also Dick and Rick, and you are Henry you are also Harry and Hank. And if you are called Margaret, you are also Peggy and Daisy.

As for Elizabeth you are also Elisabeth, Eliza, Betty, Betsy, Beth, Bessie, Elspeth, Elsie, Lizzie, Lisa, Lise... Gets a bit crowded in one room.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:45 PM

I don't blame anyone for the European common pronunciation of Tamara but when I've told them over and over and they refuse to take it on board, well...

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:46 PM

I was named after my father, so technically I am James Dixon, Jr. I stopped using "Jr." long ago, but that's another story.

In my generation, it was the rule, rather than the exception, to have a nickname that was a shortened or diminutive version of your formal name. It was generally understood (or so it seemed to me at the time) that diminutives ending in –y were reserved for children up to age 10 or so. After that, you graduated to the more mature version of your nickname: Donny became Don, Tommy became Tom, Billy became Bill, Bobby became Bob, and so on.

Formal names (James, Donald, Thomas, William, Robert, etc.) were printed on birth certificates and other official records, but were otherwise never used.

There were some names that didn't fit the pattern. Charles had no nickname other than Charlie, so he'd be called Charlie all his life. Some names, like Gary, had a built-in –y ending, and so served as both a formal name and an everyday name.

(Girls' names followed entirely different rules, I suppose, but I didn't think much about girls' names in those days.)

So, when I was young, my father was Jim and I was Jimmy—no problem. As I grew older, though, I was conflicted. "Jimmy" began to feel childish and demeaning. (It would have been easier if I'd had Jimmy Carter as an exemplar in those days, but I didn't.) My family wanted to continue calling me Jimmy, and I could see their point: it would be too confusing to have two Jims in the household. A few aunts and uncles tried to accommodate me by calling us "Big Jim" and "Little Jim" but they never achieved consensus or consistency. Anyway, "Little Jim" was hardly more dignified than "Jimmy."

The compromise was: my family continued to call me Jimmy while my teachers and friends called me Jim.

When my mother had to write an excuse note when I was sick, I insisted that she write "Jim." I didn't want anyone at school to get the idea that it was OK to call me Jimmy.

I think my father secretly resented my attempts to be known as Jim. Friends who didn't know that my father's name was Jim would call on the phone and ask to speak to "Jim." My father would say, "That's me!" He enjoyed the fact that my friends became embarrassed or confused and would sometimes abruptly hang up. He would just laugh over my protestations. He had a sadistic streak. He opened my mail—what little there was of it—claiming he thought it was his. Even when it said "James Dixon, Jr." and came from a company that made model airplanes, he'd say, "I didn't notice."

There's something rather Oedipal about all this. Right now I'm visualizing the pleasure he took in slicing open those letters with his long, stiletto-like letter opener.

My mother never really broke the habit of calling me Jimmy until after my father died.

I'm no longer as sensitive as I once was. As a kid, I never had the courage to buck traditional standards. And the standard definitely was, to be grown up, you had to have a grown-up-sounding name. When I was in my 30s, a friend—a woman for whom I still have great affection although she's not my wife—started calling me Jim Bob, after the character on The Waltons, and I accepted that happily—although I never watched The Waltons and my middle name isn't Robert. It has even spread to a few other friends, and I've used it as a "handle" in other contexts.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,raymond greenoaken
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 01:19 PM

Most people I know, and many I meet for the first time, assume I answer to Ray. I was always Raymond in my family, and have never identified with Ray at all. Sounds like some other guy, not me. But I suspect people are more comfortable calling me Ray rather than Raymond, so I never correct them. In a way your name is the property of everyone who uses it, so I guess they have rights as well. When people say: "Raymond or Ray?", I say "Please yourself."

A further complication is, I never really liked Raymond either. Happy I was when, at the age of 12, I acquired a pretty cool nickname. A few people in my home town use it to this day.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Midchuck
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 02:26 PM

I am called Peter by my friends, relatives and long-time business associates.

The only people who call me "Pete" are cold callers on the 'phone, trying stupidly to be friendly in order to sell me something I don't want or get me to give money to a cause I'm not interested in. It's a useful filter.

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Bettynh
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:14 PM

It works that way for me, too, Peter. Any phone caller who asks for "Liz" will get an immediate hangup. I was Betty for my kids when they were little, too. Nobody could ever come up to them and say "Mommy says to come with me." Twice, though, friends (both women) took to calling me Bettina in private conversation. It was a sorta pet name, and felt comfortable and warm.

Naming a child is a hard thing, and it was especially hard with my twins. For one thing, I expected girls. ;-) Virgil came by his name easiy, being smaller and looking like he'd been to hell and back. Harlan's name took a month to find (thanks to the nurses whispering "remember, you've got a month to officially name them''). The names work well for fraternal twins - same length, repeated vowel in the same place, but different. HOWEVER, Harlan was named for Harlan Ellison, not the motorcycle. He'll talk to people who call him Har, but he is not Harley. Virgil will answer to Virg without the baggage.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:28 PM

I was attending a meeting one evening, but we were all having a pot-luck dinner before the meeting started. Across the table from me was a tall, very attractive young woman whose first name was Kristin (she pronounced it "KRIS-tin"). The man sitting next to her opened the conversation by addressing her as "Kris." She smilingly but firmly told him right off that she preferred to be addressed as "Kristin." He got the point right away, apologized, and from then on, addressed her as "Kristin."

I definitely respect that.

I've known a couple of Williams who preferred (insisted) on being addressed as "Will" rather than "Bill." There are numerous others, but they escape me at the moment.

My sister's name is Patricia. She prefers "Pat," but definitely not "Patsy."

My wife's name is Barbara. She prefers all three syllables (as contrasted with Barbra Streisand). "Barby" is okay with cousins and close friends, but "Babs" is no-go, and "Barb" will set her teeth on edge. To her, it sound hard, and conjures up images of fish hooks. Don't!

With my own first name, I'm perfectly fine with "Don." Especially within the last few decades when, in television sit-coms, the name "Donald" is frequently relegated to the stock doofus or klutz in the show, usually emphasizing the last syllable:   "Don-ULD!" I stomped heavily on "Donnie" when I was about twelve or thirteen. That seemed a bit undignified for someone whose name means "Mighty Chieftain" and harks back to the mists of Scottish history.

I try to make it a point to use the name by which the person was introduced, especially if they introduced themselves.

Simple courtesy.

Don Firth

P. S. The penchant for using diminutives in the last several decades (and maybe even longer) is responsible for a lot of the atrocities that parents have wrought on their children. I spent a few years working as a telephone operator for Ma Bell, a job characteristically held by women. Many of the younger women bore names like "Kathy" and "Tammy." A little questioning produced the data that that was the name on their birth certificate, not "Catherine" or "Tamara."

And James who lives across the hall prefers to be called "James," not "Jim," and certainly not "Jimmie."

The woman who lives directly upstairs bears the name "Rebecca." She tends to frown if anyone calls her "Becky."

There is another young woman who lives a couple of floors up from me who introduces herself as "Melissa." She adopted that name herself. She said that the name on her birth certificate is "Misty Dawn." "My parents were hippies," she explained.

If you spawn a potential future world leader or professional person, fer Gawd's sake, don't handicap them right from the start!

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: olddude
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:37 PM

I have been called many things now that I think of it ... most of them not repeatable ... now that I think of it, Spaw has called me a few good one also :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:46 PM

I hardly ever use names when I am addressing friends. Half the time I'm not even sure what the name is...

I tend to distrust people who use first names too freely. Any salesman who does so has lost any sale they might have been liable to get.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:59 PM

As an undergraduate, I knew someone who, addressed with an unwelcome diminutive, rashly said "I'd rather be called Asshole than that". Guess what.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: olddude
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 08:24 PM

Boy don't call my neighbor lady "Mam" like in yes "mam"
she will go postal on ya ...

come to think of it there are some people who call me olddude ...

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:33 PM

The nickname I've found offensive is "Jack" for anyone named John. I suspect it's presumed to be a "friendly corruption" for the French variant Jacques; but I always found it presumptuous when people tried to change my name, so once I matured a little I just never answered until they got it right. The ones who tried it before that mostly survived, but ... .

It was a matter of some significance within the family since:

My grandfather (John) was known as "Man." When his dad (John) died, and he took over running the horse farm at age 12, the neighbors needed a way to distinguish him from his dad, so some called him "the little man" for a time, and "Man" actually was a "real name" used occasionally in the community so it stuck, and he didn't object. (When a cousin bought a new car while in High School, the dealer forged grandpa's name as cosigner, but thought his name was Man and grand dad always used John on legal stuff.)

My dad (John) picked up a derivative of the last name due to a paucity distinct first names in his early school years, and it worked well enough for him that most people thought his real first name was something else.

I was given a "nickname" as a child that was used within the family, but never known by the outside world, and John has always been good enough elsewhere.

My son (John again - not my fault) was called by a middle name in the family, but now prefers just John. His refusal to include a middle initial for business purposes causes some confusion, but it's amazing - and rather stupid - that a majority of businesses don't allow for entry of an initial in their databases and apparently can't address mail with an included initial.

As a kid, two aunts were called "Peggy." One was named Ida and the other was Mary. My aunt Sylvia was called "Sib" by her husbband, and I never figured that one out; but he was the only one that used that name for her. Very few others within the family had "nicknames" that I ever heard of.

There often are reasons why people prefer the name they give you, and in my opinion using anything else is just "rude" unless you're both less than about 9 years old. One of the worst cases I've known was Harold who very strongly objected to being called "Harry." (It was well known that his middle name was Peter.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:47 PM

I often wondered about the parents of a girl I knew in high school. If your last name is Peters, why on earth would you name your daughter Sharon?   We were young and stupid and never really noticed til a friend's father asked, "Sharon Peters? What is that? Some new kind of bathroom game?"


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 12:17 AM

Jim Dixon, I noticed that about dropping the "y," when we moved to New England. I was an adult and went by Katey, but most of the adults I met would shorten it to Kate. I figured out it was because I was all grown up.:-)

My niece was named Tammy, not short for anything, but most people call her TK from the initials of her first and middle names. Oh, and my sister, Rebecca, was never called Becky!:-)

Spaw, I now I've said it before, but that reminds me of the man my dad met, Mr. Cat (not sure of the spelling) who named his son, Thomas.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 02:14 AM

As for given names [not quite the same topic but still] I heard of a couple called Rose so they named their daughter Wild; she grew up to marry a man called Bull.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 02:53 AM

....."Sharon Peters? What is that? Some new kind of bathroom game?"


????

The significance is completely lost on me.


DC

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 06:23 AM

As a redhead I grew up with nicknames like "Ginger Pink" (probably explains why I don't like the colour pink) and "Blue"....Ozziespeak for a redheaded person, for some reason, is "Blue"......people could never understand why I didn't like it. It's funny the first time. After the 397th time, it becomes tedious.

My parents named me Jennifer but always called me Jennie - that's how they spelled it, and I still do to this day - not Jenny. I will answer to Jennifer, or Jennie, but have never ever liked Jen. If people are too lazy to say my name in full, I would rather they didn't use it at all.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,I Don't Know
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 06:52 AM

My brother is Barry, shorted much to my parents dismay to Baz. They thought they had picked a name that could not be shortened. I'm Catharine but it is always misspelt nomatter what I do, tend to be called Cathy.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 08:08 AM

DC: "Sharon Peters" sounds like "sharing pricks" (or willies, depending on where you're from)

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 10:19 AM

The reverse of this process can also be a problem.

One of my high school classmates had the actual given name of "Jimmy".
Teachers always wanted to formalize it and call him "James".

And another example I've previously reported here in Mud-town:

A girl of my (slight) acquaintance in high school was named "Jack"-- Not "Jacqueline", nor "Jacqui" nor anything like that: It was Jack--J-A-C-K, Jack. On her first day in our school she signed into her home room with Jack, her correct first name, only to be challenged by the teacher (whom I will call "Miss Jones")with "We don't use nicknames on the school records! Put down your real name!"

"But, Miss Jones, that's my real name, Jack!"

"Now don't be sassy. Put down your real name, or I'll send you to the Principal to straighten it out!"

Jack wouldn't (and couldn't) supply Miss Jones with her "real name", so off she was sent to the Principal, where essentially the same conversation went on. So the Principal summoned Jack's parents to come in and straighten out their daughter and the record.

Both parents had to come in and assure the Principal and Miss Jones that Jack's name was indeed Jack.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: olddude
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 10:23 AM

I know a guy with the last name Frank and the first name Frank
never asked him if he like hot dogs however

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 11:08 AM

At the university where I last worked, I had access to official student records through my computer—not all types of records; only those I needed to know to do my work, but that included official names, as well as nicknames, which were stored in a separate optional field.

Assuming the records were accurate, I can tell you there are an awful lot of college students these days whose official, formal names are Jamie, Sally, Wendy, Julie, etc.—things we used to regard as nicknames.

I think this is mostly a female phenomenon.

I've never heard of a girl named Jack, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 11:54 AM

Oh, and the university database also contained a history of previous names, if for instance a student had changed her name upon getting married, divorced, adopted, etc.

Which leads me to a story—

One day one of my co-workers (who was a bit naive, in my opinion) said, "Oh my gosh! A student changed her name to Minnie Mouse!"

I looked at my co-worker's computer screen, and sure enough, it said a certain student was named Minnie Mouse Johnson. ("Johnson" is fictional—I don't remember the actual surname.) The student's name had been changed that morning.

I said, "Nah, somebody's just fooling around." Supposedly only the workers in the Registrar's office—and, I suppose, IT—had the ability to change names in the database. We were in a different office.

"No, that's got to be real," my co-worker said confidently. "You can't change your name unless you show them your marriage license, or a court order, or something."

"We'll see," I said.

The next day the student's name had been changed back to whatever it was before. And there was no history of any change.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 12:12 PM

Guest Jon, Skinny Lizzie was a character in the UK comic Beano, around the early fifties. I think she was a member of the Bash Street Kids. The sad thing is, when I was twenty-plus years old, I felt 'Liz' or 'Lizzie' was quite a sexy nickname, but for some reason, I got called something totally different, it was the name of a horse I often rode!

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 02:01 PM

The name "Tammy" proliferated like crazy after the movie "Tammy and the Bachelor" starring Debby Reynolds, and the subsequent mid-Sixties television series, "Tammy," also starring Debby Reynolds—plus Debby Reynolds singing the hit song, "Tammy." Sort of over-kill in a way.

But I know a genuine, bona fide Tamara. I met her some years ago in a writers' group I belonged to and she was just starting to play guitar and sing a bit. She turned her hand to songwriting. She's done pretty well in the past few years, singing here and there, and she hosts a show on one of the local public radio stations twice a month. She lives just a few blocks from where I do.

A REAL Tamara. Kinda rare these days.

Don Firth

B. S. A family I heard tell of named Reed, had a baby daughter. The first and middle names they had chosen for her were "Claire" and "Annette." Then someone discreetly pointed out to them, "You want to name your daughter 'clarinette reed?' Really!??"

Shudder and a sudden change in plans.!

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Gurney
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 02:32 PM

I've answered to Chris my whole life. I do object gently to Christy, a diminutive sometimes used by people of Irish or Maori extraction, because it is to me the diminutive of Christine, not Christopher. My pal Mr. Robinson answers to Jack or John. My wife prefers that we call her Judy, not Judith, and she knows and does not object to being called Her Indoors on this site. My son answers to Matt, Matty, or Math without thinking about it.

I can't see the problem, provided there is no malice involved. It was normal in my childhood for a popular person to be given a diminutive, the less popular being given one that might have had an insulting inference.
Even my Mudcat name Gurney is a childhood nickname, not from the wheeled stretcher but from a TV character.

Subject: RE: BS: Unwelcome diminutives/nicknames
From: Charmion
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 02:59 PM

Few people can (will?) pronounce my name correctly on first hearing, usually coming back with variations on Charmaine. I've even been called Champagne and Charlemagne -- really.

Over the years, many people have simply refused to deal with it. When I was in the Canadian Forces, I was known as Charlie, which I accepted because it was so much better than a whole lot of alternatives I could think of.

Then there are those who unilaterally decide to re-name me "Charm." For the record, I am not particularly charming, and I don't think people should be given the wrong idea. A classmate in grad school went even farther, preferring to address me as "Char." As in fish. Not amusing.

The low point came during the late 70s and early 80s, when a certain brand of toilet paper was advertised with the catchphrase "Don't squeeze the Charmin!" There are still people out there who threaten to squeeze me. Profoundly not amusing. I once actually slapped a chortling fellow so lost to good sense that he grabbed me from behind.