Why shouldn't you marry a musician?

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Janie
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:01 PM

Sorry you had such a bad experience, Ad, but don't confuse personality with musicianship.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:30 PM

" Dad answered, "I'm sorry, son. You can't do both." "

Hahahhahahaa.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,LMH
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 06:53 AM

I read almost all the pasts and there's a little bit of truth in almost all of them. I met my husband when I was in the Air Force and he was playing in a bar in Great Falls, Montana. That was 34 years ago. It was really tough. The first 5 years were the worst. My husband has a lot of insecurities and masks them behind his bass guitar. However, before he married me he told me he'd quit the road and get a job. He did and has been a fantastic provider ever since. I so appreciate that about him. But when he plays he is always tempted by drugs, alcohol and women. Bars are not family or marriage family places. My husband almost ended up an alcoholic at one point early on and when you're drunk and in a place that is filled with people with loose morals it is not a good mix. So there was infidelity too. And drugs. But thankfully, when we were separated and heading for divorce, I became a Christian and God miracuously reconciled us and I am happy for it as my husband (and I) have really changed and grown. Musicians can be very selfish - if they're into drugs, drinking and women - all addicts are selfish and immature? But not all musicians are addicts - some restrain themselves and keep clean - but it's hard when temptation is always knocking at the door. I think it's more about the 'wanting to escape into another world where everybody likes you, respects you and admires you because in the 'real' world you're really nobody special - that causes most of the problems. Like everyone else, musicians have a void that only God can fill. When we realize this we don't have to work so hard at proving to the world that we are a somebody.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Tony Rath aka Tonyteach
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 07:06 AM

I do not get this myth of musicians as babe magnets. Being a lifelong ugly bastard playing guitar - singing - piano - bass etc does not pull the laydeez. I am a realist so being a steady provider is the thing.

It is ironic that late in life ie 50 and 60s my face which is indeed capable of stopping clocks at some distance has made me quite substantial sums as villain or assorted thugs in movies and TV I have played Captain Bligh - been the ugliest mermaid you can imagine and also been a troll (without makeup) and a number of pimps - thugs and villains

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 07:35 AM

Sorry about all the typos - I reread my post and was, like, how did that happen lol. It's too early in the morning I guess! Anyway - just one other thing - I really like the post from the wife who encourages other non-playing wives to take up an instrument and join her husband so that both have something in common. Every husband and wife should do things together that they both enjoy. Unfortunately for me I am so void of musical talent that I don't think it would be possible, but we did take up biking and kayaking together and we also enjoy long rides in the country. Fortunately my husband loves nature like I do. A good book for any couple to read is: "Strike the Original Match" by Charles Swindoll. Even musicians want good/better marriages!

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: John P
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 10:25 AM

Why is this thread about musicians? Why isn't it about narcissistic assholes who don't know how to be in relationships? There's been nothing said in this thread about musicians. Sure, a lot of musicians are jerks, but so are many school teachers, police officers, garbage collectors, and grocery store clerks. I'm tired of the stereotype of the clueless musician. It causes folks to make untrue assumptions about many fine people.

If you don't like narcissists, don't hang out with them. Please don't confuse it with whether or not they are also musicians.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Musket
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 11:27 AM

Because every time you have a row or argument, he / she will write a song about it and we will know about your problems...