Things you should never do - in song

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Artful Codger
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 11:35 AM

(Must be because of all the glass ornaments on the tree.)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 08:07 AM

Sorry!

"Walk backwards into Christmas"

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 10:19 AM

"Don't wa diddy diddy don't diddy don't"

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 10:18 AM

"Da don't ron ron"!!

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 01:00 PM

dont.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 12:54 PM

dont shoot the piano player.
daddy dont play your concertina when you drive

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 12:48 PM

dont sing love songs you will wake my mother.
dont sing no sad songs for me
dont sing aloha when i go.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 12:34 PM

dont let your deal go down.
dont dilly dally on the way.
dont do it.
dont go down the mine dad

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 12:28 PM

dont go down to the quarry.
Don't go down to the quarry in the middle of the night
You'll never come back, you'll never be right
We lost Maggie there just last spring
And Big Ben Johnson, he couldn't do a thing

Big Ben Johnson made a bet with Mad Man Mike
That he could cross the quarry in the middle of the night
He got there, 'bout halfway across
When he started sinking down in the red clay moss.

Nearby standin' on the tracks where the trains used to come
Was Mad Man Mike, beatin' on his drum
Laughin' out loud, eyes rollin' in his head
Standin' on the tracks in the Lucifer's stead

With a long red cape and fire in his eyes
He lifted up his hands to the midnight skies
And the thunder start to roll and the lightenin' flashed wild
And Big Ben Johnson start a cryin' like a child.

Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Down, down, down, down

Then the earth gave a shudder, the quarry start to split
Screamin' down went Johnson into the fiery pit
With a laugh that shivered the center of the bone
Mad Man Mike just standin' there alone

He's callin' all the people, to take their turn
And fall into the pit and eternally burn
Down, down, don't go down
Down, down, down, down

Lucifer's caught on the railraod track
He's howlin' at the moon 'cause he can't come back
And in the evenin' while we're sittin' there in front of the fire
We laugh at old Lucifer before we retire

Don't go down to the quarry in the middle of the night
You'll never come back, you'll never be right
We lost Maggie there just last spring
And Big Ben Johnson, he couldn't do a thing

Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the quarry, don't, don't go down
Down, down, down, down

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 11:52 AM

Steal sixteen of the King's fat dear.
Sell same in Bohenny
Listen to your mother's advice and marry the Brown Girl
Ignore your mother's advice, plus omens and porents, and go off to see your ain true Maggie, after being warned about deep holes in Clyde's water.
Try and cross the Clyde when the water's too rough.
Challenge Johnny Morrissey to a boxing match. Not if you're a Russian sailor at any rate.
Leave your cabin boy to drown when hje's got an auger in his hand and her's just sunk the Turkish revelry.
Try to prove you're better than the steam drill.
Refuse to tell the fause Argyle where your dowry's hidden. He'll find it anyway

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 08:47 AM

Blame it on the boogy

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 06:10 PM

dance Josie

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 06:08 PM

say a mumblin' word

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Artful Codger
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 03:37 PM

Mr. Happy: But your 'undrud was a repeat--does that count?

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 09:20 AM

A friend of mine said that the moral of The Outlandish Knight was "Never turn your back on a woman". A female friend suggested that "Don't be a serial killer" would be more to the point!

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST,pitheris
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 08:23 AM

talk about me when I'm gone

swat a fly
harm a flea
stop a bee if he is going anywhere. . .

touch my tomato

let the sun catch you cryin

Don't you cry for me

pout
cry

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST,HughM
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 07:50 AM

...let us be beastly to the Germans

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 03:55 AM

Do that to the poor pussycat!!

'undrud!!

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 03:47 AM

Go to Donkey City.

Tie your donkey down there.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Acorn4
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 03:45 AM

(Baby) Don't say "Don't".

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 03:33 AM

Mess with Mr Happy Inbetween!

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Genie
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 01:15 AM

Ah, yes, Codger, I'd forgotten that you should NOT use that F-word with your mother!


Also,
Don't throw bouquets at me,
Don't laugh at my jokes so much,
etc., etc.

(People will say we're in love)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Bert
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 04:04 PM

You must never, never ever
You must never, never ever
You must never ever step upon his tail.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: foggers
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 08:41 AM

...get married, girls! (It's very badly paid....)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: HuwG
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 12:35 AM

Hit your mother with a shovel (it leaves a dull impression on her mind)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Bert
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 12:14 AM

Let your Donah go upon the stage.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Janie
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 10:46 PM

...go with me....agree with me, no matter what I say.


Murder me.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Micca
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 09:33 PM

Whine (ask Kendall)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 08:43 PM

Tell a woman a secret
Question anybody's business ("Nobody's business but me own".)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 08:41 PM

*boards* and *a*. (why isn't there an Edit button?)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 08:40 PM

Get a donkey. (Because it will constantly want water, get at someone's daughter, do no work, and break the bords of its stall.)

Let anyone named Matilda near your pillowcase.

Marry a pretty woman if you want to be happy and live a king's life

Be named Melda and bite man's finger (this is mento- but, let me go Melda Marcy, you biting my finger).

More coming up as soon as I can think

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Bert
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 06:04 PM

Stop on the way for a half pint of porter

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Bert
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 05:49 PM

Don't forbid me to hold you tight

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Artful Codger
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 05:41 PM

...marry my wife's sister, or she'll plague you all of your life.

or for that matter,
...ever get married, for all sorrow lies there.

...feel down-hearted in hail, rain or snow, nor to shrink when the stormy winds do blow.

...agree upon that we should all go out a-shooting.

...use that F-word with your mother.

...fill a glass for me, comrades.

...eat the captain's biscuit, if you're a handsome cabin boy.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: fat B****rd
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 03:50 PM

Sit Down 'Cos I've Moved Your Chair
Stand So Close To Me
Rain On My Parade

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: fat B****rd
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 03:47 PM

Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Tootler
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 01:50 PM

Be called by St. Peter unless your soul has cleared its debts.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 12:36 PM

Shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Name your son Sue.
Call my name out your window when I'm leavin'.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: ClaireBear
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 12:24 PM

...coil up the rope
...climb up the mast
(and if you see a sailing ship, it might be your last)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Genie
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 10:29 AM

Don't (do not):

-play B-17

-sing love songs (you'll wake my mother)

-say "Don't" (Elvis)

-hasten to bid me adieu

-be a naughty baby, come to Papa, do (Gershwin)

And, from the new Mudcat CD: "This Is Us: Stone":
- become a Morris dancer (if you're a daddy)

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mavis Enderby
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 10:11 AM

...mind people grinnin' in your face

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: saulgoldie
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 10:05 AM

Oh, DUH! It was the first post.

Saul

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: saulgoldie
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 09:25 AM

Don't know if I missed this while scanning the previous posts, but...

Never bet seventeen when you play against the dealer.

Never leave your woman alone when your friends are out to steal her.


This is a great thread!

Saul

Subject: RE: Things you should never do, in song
From: Genie
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 08:19 AM

I thought Renee was SUPPOSED to just walk away, Codger.


But Malvina says you should never argue with a bee!


Also, don't use no green or rotten wood for your copper kettle fire - they'll git you by the smoke!


And, of course, never tell your kids NOT to put beans in their ears (or put raspberry jam all over the cat, etc.).

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Deskjet
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 06:04 AM

Think twice, it's all right.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Acorn4
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 06:02 AM

Spend your life in sin and misery,
At the House of the Rising Sun.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Mo the caller
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 05:58 AM

Tread on my blue suede shoes
Push your granny off a bus

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Ged Fox
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 05:35 AM

Enter never, shun forever, the house with the picture hung over the door.

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: GUEST,BobL
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 04:42 AM

Touch me, O Sir Jasper / Father Christmas

Subject: RE: Things you should never do - in song
From: Artful Codger
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 02:45 AM

...see how punching cows is done (instead, shoot yourself with a butcher knife)

...marry ten pretty girls (you can't)

...ask a mother to shorten the baby's name.

...stick your head through a wee little window.

...sell your beauty for an old man's gold. (chirp, chirp)

...help that bear!

...haul on the rope or climb up the mast

...hit your grandma with a shovel

...eat an albatross or knife your loving kin

...mention Aunt Clara