BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 03:39 AM

The agent who sold her the indemnity and top up for medical tests told her there should be no problem with the pre-existing conditions. The company has been taking money out of her pay check every 2 weeks for these extra policies.

I have been reading nightmare stories of people who cannot cancel their policies. Several who after cancelling found a year later money was being deducted from their paychecks and when AFLAC was contacted they received a letter that it was deemed a risk to cancel the policy so it was reinstated without the policy holder's knowledge. But then there are just as many positive stories of how much AFLAC helped.

Had a stupid tearful breakdown this morning. Quite proud of myself though because it only lasted about 10 minutes. Frustration of not being able to do simple tasks like put on bra, blouse, shoes and socks without pain and often help from TSO. I fell apart, sobbing about how can I help her if I can't take care of myself.

ah well... must go to work now and be overwhelmed by the work. At least it will take my mind of home and Hilary for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:35 PM

There is a difference between health insurance and AFLAC's products which are supplemental. When signing up for such products you are asked about previous illnesses. Cancer within the past five years for instance is a no go as is morbid obesity. I sold this type of insurance a while back. Great if you are healthy and don't need it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:19 PM

Insurance companies can and do reject people with pre-existing conditions. It is my understanding that in the year 2013, this will no longer be legal.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:17 PM

There is never any shame in asking for pain meds when needed. NEVER. The doctors I go to are of the mind that you need to stay ahead of the pain, that's when you heal best.

Prayers and Good thoughts for you all!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:06 PM

Prayers for you and your daughter from me.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 08:26 PM

Sleep good. Fingers crossed for better news tomorrow...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 06:40 PM

I don't know if that applies to indemnity. Her normal medical insurance will be ok and the "reportedly" disability insurance also with AFLAC. She tried to cancel the disability because they didn't pay on it last year when she was ill, because her illness was not life hindering? Though it left her unable to work for several weeks. But the agent convinced her that should not have happened yada yada and then sold her the indemnity and some coverage on specific scans and tests to top up the disability.

She is calmer now. They gave her drugs to calm her as well as pain meds. So very sleepy. I told her that I have money to help her if it comes to it. She was too drugged to argue with me (much). She is fiercely independent.

I dunno. I am tired. Going to bed and hopefully will sleep better than I have been lately. Try to take some of your good wishes into my my dreams.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 06:04 PM

Last I knew, federal law says no insurance company can deny coverage due to a pre-existing condition, any more. Good advice to have someone else got to bat for her. When a person feels so unwell, battered and down, it's difficult to stay focussed and realise what is being said, done, etc.

I haven't posted before, but I have been checking your updates and keeping you both in my thanks givings and thoughts. I am *seeing* you surrounding by a calm, peaceful light with feelings of assurance that all will work out for the highest good of all concerned.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 05:53 PM

Nurses were trying to wean her off meds so she could be released. So they claim. No result on bone marrow. She still can't eat even soft solid food without pain.

Other news - AFLAC rep just told her on the phone that she had been rejected on the Hospital Confinement Indemnity because she has pre-existing condition, yet they have been taking the deductions out of her pay check. Hil is hysterical. I don't think she had the policy long enough. She has a receipt that states coverage starts 1 March 2012. Never received a rejection letter. I dunno. I never could get my head around insurance speak. So I advised her to not talk to the AFLAC rep until talking to her father or soon to be father in law, both of whom worked in insurance. And better to get one of them to do the talking for her to the AFLAC rep.

Good thing I've been saving for a kitchen replacement. Ours is the original 1970's one and though falling apart it will serve until we need to sell the flat. I can now put money toward helping her through this mess.   

BTW ... my BP is up. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. Not pleasant.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:22 AM

Agreed, Sins.

Good morning, Tam. Here's to a brighter day of news.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,I Don't Know
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:20 AM

Hope you soon recieve some good news, still thinking of all your family

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:10 AM

It doesn't help anyone especially not Miss Tam to second guess the hospital.
Sending good thoughts to Hil and family.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 04:25 PM

"Don't US hospitals have a specialist pain nurse (or team), or is that something we only have here in the UK with our "backwards" socialised medicine?"

Of course there are pain specialists in the US. Whether there is such a team at this particular hospital, we don't know, do we? We're all frustrated, but none so much as Tamara.

Tam, both a pain specialist and a patient advocate would be good resources if available. There may also be a staff member in the the administrative/medical position called "Hospitalist". If so, one of you could get hold of him or her and ask for help. If Galen and Hilary's dad could try for contact with her doctor (re: following pain medication orders and nursing staff behavior) that would be good. Engaging the nurses in seeing Hilary as a person can help them see past their own workloads and frustration...and any attitude problems may diminish.

Beyond that, keeping a log of all contact with staff and what and when meds are administered will at the very least give a set of facts to discuss with the doctor. Hilary is scared and hurting; what might Galen or her friends do for and with her to help her relax and feel calm? Music? Conversation? Hand massage?

It is so hard to determine the facts when you can't be there; I'm sorry this is so hard for you all.

(((Tamara & all)))

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 03:59 PM

thanks all... last FB post was 6 hours ago... "Nurse just came in and said bone marrow biopsy today." Nothing since then and mamma's worrying herself silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 03:35 PM

What I wrote in my last comment still goes!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 10:58 PM

Lots of white light, healing thoughts and prayers from this quarter, Tam. Time for one, time for all. Is the universe just slightly out of kilter these days?

Hugs,
Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 10:48 PM

I mentioned this thread to my hubbie, 'cos I was so appalled... He agrees it is absolutely disgraceful.

Being unusually well-informed on such things, he had some suggestions I thought worth mentioning here, such as:

What about other types of pain relief?

• There are drugs that are not so hard on the liver; is there some reason she can't be given one of those?

• There are also non-drug types of pain relief, like TENS, where causing sensation in/to another part of the body, like the spine, can help diminish the pain by distracting the brain with an alternative sensation (this has worked for me in the past when I had unusually bad menstrual cramps; my husband would stroke my spine and it helped a great deal).

• What about an epidural, or gas (nitrous oxide) and air?

He adds, "Don't US hospitals have a specialist pain nurse (or team), or is that something we only have here in the UK with our "backwards" socialised medicine?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 09:42 PM

Thinking of her, thinking of you, sending every healing thought I have to you and your loved ones. Keep us posted - we're here for you. Bonnie xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 09:19 PM

Even IF they have good reason to "encourage" her to use as little painkiller as possible, there is NO reason to be unkind about it. AaMoF, it would prolly make it easier for her to hang on longer in between doses if they were kind, sympathetic and encouraging.

Being nasty is not going to help her morale, which is likely to make her feel the pain even more than she would otherwise. It's pretty clear these days that state of mind can have a LOT to do with how much/little one experiences pain. There is absolutely NO excuse for anyone (let alone a nurse, for heaven's sake!) to belittle and try to shame someone who is in pain! I feel outrage when I hear of such treatment of anyone in pain.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 08:16 PM

What Jack said

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Jack Campin
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 07:46 PM

If the doctors have said "every three hours" the nurses have NO business trying to overrule them.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 07:21 PM

She had to wait 5 hours and ask 3 times in the last hour for pain meds that are supposed to be given every 3 hours. However, a nurse friend has told her there may be a very good reason why the nurses are trying to get her to hold on longer. The pain meds could exacerbate the liver problem which is likely the underlying cause of her pain.

Poor kid. Wish I was there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 03:21 PM

I'd like to say something but I am just too upset at those nurses and it wouldn't help. Ts&Ps.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Crowhugger
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 02:51 PM

Best thoughts to you and Hilary often.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 12:02 PM

Oh, dear. Sometimes I wish all medical people would experience unalleviated severe pain. So many have no concept!

Praying for correct diagnosis, best treatment, and physical and emotional healing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 11:58 AM

I am absolutely gobsmacked to hear of such callous, unsympathetic and downright nasty "nurses". I'd like to slap them; can't imagine how you must feel...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 02:54 PM

Turns out there are now 2 nurses who are shaming her for asking for the pain meds that doc prescribed for very 3 hours. They wait until she is begging them for it then give her a hard time saying she doesn't really need them. I told her to get Galen or her Dad to talk to their supervisor.
But I also reminded her that when she had liver biopsy when she was age 14 that nurses advised trying to go longer without pain meds. And they did same to me in UK when I was in similar lower abdominal pain. Not shaming but telling me the longer I could go without the better in the long run.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 02:39 PM

Only gastritis? I have seen grown men doubled over and reduced to tears by gastritis.
Silly bitch!
Rant over.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 01:59 PM

Well her Dad and his partner are there getting the info from the specialists today. The hematologist believes her liver is acting out and causing the other problems.

I talked on phone with her and her father. Hil is very emotionally and in a lot of pain. they have not been giving her her thyroid replacement but continuing the antidepressant and anti anxiety med (which I believe may be causing the liver to act out but you can't just suddenly withdraw these kinds of meds).

Gastro doc arrived so I had to hang up. But her dad thinks they will keep her in until Monday or Tuesday for bone marrow lymphoma test.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 01:32 PM

Me too.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 10:37 AM

Of course you want to be there, Tam. I wish you could.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 10:32 AM

Hello all - thank you for the encouragement, thoughts and links.

She is still in hospital. Docs have not said why they are still holding her.

First indication of endoscopy is gastritis, but she cannot eat (offering her soft solids now) unless they give her strong pain killers. They took stomach biopsy during endoscopy, so pain even greater now. One nurse has not been very kind regards her pain. "Only gastritis? You should not be hurting that much then!" Might have been nurse's tone or Hil's interpretation. She was very "testy" last night.

Last 2 hours of facebook posts she has posted twice.

2 hours ago = :'(

1 hour ago = *sob*

Have heard no more about the desire to do bone marrow and lymphoma tests. I want to be there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 17 Mar 12 - 06:17 AM

Good morning, Tamara.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 05:52 PM

When my sister needed a kidney transplant and one of my brothers was the donor, my other brother and I were worried and concerned -- but I could see that our feelings were a mere fraction of those of my parents; I have never (before or since) seen them looking/feeling so vulnerable -- which told me so much... A mother's/father's love is unfathomable (until you are a parent yourself).
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts, and hoping for good news.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 05:10 PM

Tests rule out problems and enable the doctors to focus on a diagnosis. Tests are good things.

Try to breathe Miss Tam. Seeing one's own child suffer is a parent's worst nightmare. Hang in there.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 07:05 AM

Something of a leftfeild suggestion this. Is Hil still Wiccan Tam? I wonder if it might be helpful to both her and to you, if you work her some Mojo in the form of a simple healing/protection ceremony, particularly involving song - as it taps into your strengths? Whether you consciously 'believe' or not, it may be good for Hil to know she's being supported in such fashion?

Looking for Wiccan healing songs, some chants by Lisa Theil which could easily be adapted came up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SZ6vFs9w20
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGGZq0UInTg

CS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 06:22 AM

I panicked the other day because I received what appeared to be some bad news.
While panicking I recalled this proverb I once heard on a Paul McKenna tape years ago: http://www.quotes-daily.com/2009/10/maybe-so-maybe-not-ancient-taoist.html and it reminded me to keep my mind located in the now and not to second guess the future. As it happened the news wasn't so bad.

This isn't meant to be patronising, sometimes very small things like the wisdom of an ancient proverb, can help to provide anchorage in the storm.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 05:29 AM

Try to take each day as it comes, and for now keep hold of the fact that a test for lymphoma may rule lymphoma out.
Gimme a ring later if you would like a chat? x

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 11:42 PM

Prayers continuing from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Janie
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 08:10 PM

Don't forget to breathe, VT.

It would be so very, very hard for you even if you lived next door to Hilary. I can only imagine how difficult it is to contain your worry from such a long distance.

Surrounding Hilary as well as you with imagery of healing light.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 07:06 PM

You have a hard job, Tamara. Hold on. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
I wish I could send you the real things instead of images; the real songs instead of clips. For now, these will have to do.

Maeve

Pretty

Rest

http://www.timberheadmusic.com/audio/TurningTowardtheMorning.mp3

Hope

http://www.timberheadmusic.com/audio/IsleAuHautLullaby_clip.mp3

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,I Don't Know
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 05:48 PM

Hope it is better than it sounds, shame you cannot bewith her. Prayers and hugs to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 05:11 PM

More best thoughts from here in Dunfermline. I really wish I could say somerhing clever but you know the people here are with you.
ATB from Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: saulgoldie
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 05:11 PM

Thoughts, prayers, and Mojo--

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 04:59 PM

got my rosary, never fails me hon .. anytime anywhere I can help you please let me know ... Love you .. in my thoughts heart and prayers
Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 04:31 PM

oh god! Now they are planning bone marrow and lymphoma test.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 04:09 PM

Still in hospital on clear diet and weirdly gaining weight. 4 pounds in 2 days. Though docs don't seem to think this is an issue.

Seen by new GI doc several times. He thinks it is her liver, even though enzymes are low and the pain is not on that side.

Another doc thinks it is her spleen as it is enlarged and the pain is there.   DUH!!!

She has been craving potassium and they discovered she has a deficiency. The potassium injection in the IV burns. She says she'd rather eat 100 bananas.

They are doing endoscopy tomorrow.

On the finance front, it appears she has some other coverage she invested in while she was well and earning. Pays for days in hospital, 6 weeks short term disability, and even one which pays her for certain tests like the CT scan they did. Smart girl.

Even better her dad and her soon to be father in law both insurance people so will help her complete the claims and provide proper documents.

She did not remember that we talked on the phone yesterday (pain killers is dilantin or something) so I got a lot of repeat info.

While talking to me on phone tonight, she clocked that perhaps she should call work in advance to let them know she is still in hospital tomorrow and may not be able in position tomorrow to call them after endoscopy.

That is all for now. I am shattered. Going to forage for food as I've not had dinner and lunch was a salad and breakfast didn't happen.


Love you guys.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 09:37 AM

Healing thoughts coming from Maine for Hilary.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Mar 12 - 03:25 AM

Still in hospital when I went to bed last night. This morning her last FB post indicated they had to move her out of her room to make room for a male patient. She was not happy about being moved due to the physical pain involved in doing it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 14 Mar 12 - 03:28 PM

Sounds good, Tamara. That was my last night's supper!

Get some rest.