BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party

Subject: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 08:50 PM

Well, lotta of my friends have been thinkin' that seein' as Doper Obama has sworn off that America is deep shit so...

...we gotta move from deep shit to good shit!!!

Know what I mean??? Of course, you do...

So here's the crux of my platform...

Plank 1: Legalize Pot!!! Screw this decriminalization... What the hell does that mean??? I'll tell you what it means... It mean nothin' at all... Just legalize it, tax it and the deficit will be gone in about, ahhhh, lemmee see??? Hmmmmm??? According to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule about 15 'er 20 minutes...

Plank B: What's all this talk about freedom??? Screw freedom... It doesn't exist... Ya hear??? So we're gonna have a national holiday called "Stoner Day" and everyone in America is gonna have to at least fake smoking some pot... I know that Slick Willie didn't inhale... Okay, you can pull a Slick Willie if you want but ya gotta at least do a good "When Harry Met Sally" stoner act... Got it??? All ya' gotta do is either say, "Dynamite shit, man" or "Pass them Oriole cookies over here, Bubba"....

Plank 4: Drug testing on all elected officials and anyone not possessing THC will first be sent to a re-orientation camp and if a second offense occurs be fired... Sorry, but we told you...

Plank G: Seein' as lotta Mexicans is fucking up a lot of other Mexicans over our dumb laws we're gonna need to address that matter so I am proposing a re-education program for cartel'ers to teach them the important stuff like hanging drywall and tending to the domestic crop...

Plank 12: That's about it...

Vote for me...

B~

p.s. Oh yeah... I almost forgot... Stoners Unite!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:35 PM

I don't know quite how to act...

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:35 PM

But I WILL vote for you. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:41 PM

You propose the Stoner System for everyone in the US, huh? Cooooool!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:41 PM

Thanks, Eb... I was thinkin' of you for VP... Yeah, I know you ain't no stoner but, hey, we sit around listein' to some ol' "Bad Company" LP's and some weed and you'll get the hang of it... Kinda like ridin' a bicycle...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Sawzaw
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:42 PM

With a platform like that you will have every crybaby in the US voting for you.

You should have your inauguration ball at the Lake Pontchartrain dam.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:44 PM

No, Rap... You need a week of orientation... Okay, maybe two weeks... Okay, lets just lay it out on the table... A month...

No guns, man...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:50 PM

Well, you outlined a Stoner System, didn't you? I'm just trying to get your platform clear in my mind, such as my mind is after the '60s.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:52 PM

Okay, Rap... We'll give yo a pass... But, please... No guns... Ya hear???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 09:56 PM

You can be my VP.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 10:06 PM

Well, Rap... Lemme see yer pee... You beat mine out and we'll talk... Mine??? I'll guarantee that it's gonna put the THC count over the red line...

It's all comes down to pee...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 10:42 PM

So, Bobertz...you tryin' this gambit again? When you oughta instead be gettin' out the vote fer me? Geez! When are you gonna learn?

You might be surprised to hear that I am in favor of legalizin' pot too...but maybe not quite the same way.

Okay, first things first. I don't smoke pot. I got no interest in doin' so. I smoke cigars, okay? But I got no real objection to folks smokin' pot if they want to, see? It don't hurt me none if they do and it's their own business if they want to, right?

I am in favor of legalizin' pot as follows:

1. De-criminalize growin' and possession.
2. Let people grow it on their own property if they want to and use it how they wish.
3. Let 'em GIVE it to other adults if they want to...but at no charge.
4. Do NOT let anyone market it, cos that is the part that leads to trouble of every sort. Just let 'em grow it for their own private use, that's all. Anyone can easily do that.
5. Don't let any business or corporation market it under any circumstances.
6. Pot has some good medicinal uses. Let people use it for treatin' what it's good for treatin'...at NO charge.
7. You see, Bobertz, if ya remove the MONEY angle from pot, then pot ceases to be a problem, cos the criminals and the corporations won't have nothin' to GAIN from it, see? It's the money angle that causes the problems.

Okay, that took care of yer Plank 1. On to Plank B. B????

"Plank B: What's all this talk about freedom??? Screw freedom... It doesn't exist... Ya hear???"

I sorta get yer point...I think. Freedom is always limited in any organized society. What we gotta do, though, is protect certain basic freedoms like: freedom of choice, freedom of speech, freedom of (and from) religion, equality of species and genders and races, habeus corpus, trial by a jury of yer peers, that kinda thing. It's pretty well all in yer Constitution, but it's bein' took away lately by yer presidents, a bit at a time.

I would restore it to what it once was, and improve on it by extendin' it beyond just humans and to other species as well.

I do not see how havin' a day where everyone has to smoke pot or fake doin' so will help. What for? Should we have a day like that for cigars? I don't think so! It would not be fair to people who don't like cigars, and it would reduce supplies for those who do...and raise prices. Dumb idea! Equally dumb in the case of pot. Yer Plank 2 is a no-go.

Hmm. Plank 4. (What is goin' ON here with the numbers???)

"Plank 4: Drug testing on all elected officials and anyone not possessing THC will first be sent to a re-orientation camp and if a second offense occurs be fired... Sorry, but we told you..."

Now you are movin' into total madman fascism, Bobertz! I am shocked. I knew you was a bit of a dumbass, but I never suspected you was a closet fascist! Get help, okay?

Next. Plank G. (What the? G? Are you drunk or...oh, wait...I'm beginnin' to get the picture here...yer wearin' an illegal smile, aren'tcha?)

"Plank G: Seein' as lotta Mexicans is fucking up a lot of other Mexicans over our dumb laws we're gonna need to address that matter so I am proposing a re-education program for cartel'ers to teach them the important stuff like hanging drywall and tending to the domestic crop..."

Yer now goin' beyond stupid into...megastupid! It's the money that's the problem. I told ya. Illegal drugs equate to massive profiteerin' opportunities for the worst people in society. I seen it durin' Prohibition. I'm seein' it now. You can't stop private use of any drug by makin' it illegal. And you can't stop all the criminals who take advantage of the situation either...unless you set up a total police state everywhere and just ruthlessly kill 'em all. Maybe not even then. Anyway, that ain't a step we wanta take, is it? What people need is jobs, education, hope, medical care, thrivin' communities, healthy social services and infrastructure, a good economy, and freedom to exercise free choice in how they wanta live. The problem ain't Mexicans, okay? The problem is drugs bein' made illegal...and many people livin' in extreme poverty and desperation.

That ain't a simple situation. It ain't go one simple answer.

However, I would start by arrestin' a lotta bankers. Right now. It's them big bankers and Wall Street people that have wrecked the world economy, not ordinary workin' people, but ordinary workin' people everywhere are bein' made to pay the bill. That's wrong! Put the damn bankers on trial, I say, and regulate 'em so hard that it makes their teeth rattle. Nationalize 'em all if necessary. Shut down the Fed. Put money creation back in the hands of the real government. Put paper money back on the gold and silver standard. Pardon the unreal load of debt society is reelin' under, and if necessary start over fresh with a brand new currency that is backed up by gold and silver reserves and/or other precious metals. The present load of debt worldwide CAN'T be paid. It will never be paid. Cancel it all NOW and start fresh with a clean slate.

And I'm just gettin' started here.

You want REAL change? Vote fer me.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 10:57 PM

I ain't votin' for no dumbass monkey...

Yer wrong on everything... Teaching Mez-can druggers to hang drywall er tend plants is smart...

What else???

Oh yeah... Yer a dumb monkey... I know... I seen you up close and you are...

... a dumb ass monkey and ain't on my VP list...

Sorry, if you thought that you could shame me into puttin' yer dumb ass on the ticket then think again...

And while we are on the subject, pee in this cup...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 11:22 PM

Yer such an idiot, Bobertz, that you still can't tell the difference between an ape and a monkey, can ya? I always knew you was a bit slow, but I am detectin' signs of total mental incompetency settin' in. You are either smokin' way too much pot...or not enough. Or did a tree fall on you? Try cuttin' the daily dose in half and see if there's any improvement, okay? If there ain't, try doublin' the daily dose. Call me when ya come to yer senses and decide to put yer vote in the right place: opposite the name of yer local APP candidate.

Lemmee see...in yer district that is...

Lenny the Lemur. Oh, yeah. I remember. Lenny is a good guy, and he ain't a monkey...nor is he an ape. He's a lemur. A Lemur is another kinda primate. Look it up and edjacate yerself a bit fer Chrissake.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,999
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 11:47 PM

So, uh, are you gonna legalize grass, man?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 12:27 AM

Bobert: "...... yer a dumb ass monkey..."

A Democratic monkey????

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 01:06 AM

Vote Bobert for President
"A little pot in every pee...it's a good thing!"

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:26 AM

Don't need no Donkey or elephant the Marley Gnat is the proper mascot.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Sawzaw
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:49 AM

"Put paper money back on the gold and silver standard."

How?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:50 AM

A chimp can be President when he or she can swing from a tree...by his or her own tail.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 09:45 AM

Chongz is 99% tail and about 1% head... And that's with the wind at his back... Dumb monkey...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 11:13 AM

Bobert, I've been to stoner parties and people just kinda sat around staring at the candles or watching the water drip.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,999
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 11:25 AM

I don't care for parties like that. Much too busy.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 12:10 PM

I find it's a lot livelier when folks party with liquor.

Sawzaw - Here's the thing about the paper money. You remember the old Silver Certificates? USA dollars were once called silver certificates. It said on each dollar that it was a silver certificate, redeemable therefore in silver coins of or equal to the SAME denomination. That meant that a paper dollar was redeemable at any bank for a silver dollar or 4 silver quarters or 10 silver dimes or any other such combination. That was when the dollar was actually worth somethin', cos it was backed up by a precious metal. Gold was also pegged for a long time at $24 an ounce, which meant that the dollar had a real, stable value, backed up by somethin' real.

Not any more! By about the mid-sixties the USA discontinued mintin' silver coins, replacin' 'em with nonprecious metals like copper and nickel...and the silver certificates were phased out and replaced by Federal Reserve Notes....paper money that is backed up by absolutely NOTHIN' real at all...cos it ain't redeemable in any fixed amount of any real and valuable substance. Therefore it's a mere symbol of a supposed value....kind of like Monopoly money...and the Fed (which is a private corporation) now has control of the money supply of the entire USA. The Fed has supplanted the US Government as the entity which actually creates the money...prints it...or creates it on a digital spreadsheet...and the Fed can create any amount of this phony money that it wants to, because it ain't redeemable in any fixed amount of anything real. It is NOT real money. It has no REAL value, but we all pretend that it does, and that keeps the game goin'...just like a Monopoly game.

That permits the Fed and the other big banks who work hand in glove with the Fed to run what amounts to a giant pyramid scheme with money that they create out of thin air...every time they make a loan to the government or to private industry or to another nation through the World Bank and the IMF. They're loan sharks on a giant scale, and the whole world is in hock to them, and they get rich on the interest AND control the politicians through the power of the debt they have put everyone in.

When the bubble bursts, which happens periodically, they get bailed out and the public everywhere is made to pay for THEIR failed pyramid scheme through taxes, inflation, and payin' down the public debt...which is now so huge that it probably can't ever be paid down.

This is graft on an almost unimaginable scale, and it's bankruptin' the entire world.

These bankers oughta be arrested for fraud, and the Federal Reserve Bank oughta be shut down for good, and a new US dollar started up that is created by the government, not by a private bank....and that is redeemable in a stated and fixed amount of something REAL...such as silver coins or gold coins or bullion. It was done before. For a long time. It could certainly be done again. If it was, you'd have a real currency again, a stable currency with a real value, instead of the phony Monopoly money we've got now.

The country is not poor. It has great natural resources, both material and human (plus us primates, of course)...but it's staggerin' under a massive load of unreal DEBT that was created by the bankers and their pyramid schemes of phony money that they created in a Godlike manner with the stroke of a pen. The only way to set America free is to cancel the past mountain of debts from the pyramid scheme and NEVER AGAIN allow the private banks to perpetrate such a scheme or to control the creation of the national currency.

This would require strict regulation of lending practices by banks. That can be done. It should be done.

I still remember when the beautiful silver coins we all took for granted all our lives (till then) started disappearin' out of circulation in the mid-60s and got replaced by nickel-plated copper coins that almost looked okay...only you could see the copper ring around the outside edge. That was a depressin' day. It was the end of real money in the USA, and the beginning of debt slavery to the banks and the Fed. A Federal Reserve Note ain't worth nothin' more than the paper it's printed on...meanin'...it's basically worthless...and you can trade it for the modern USA coins that are also basically almost worthless...cos they are not made out of precious metals anymore.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 01:49 PM

I'll volunteer to be Sectretary. Ya know, handle the papers and such.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 01:53 PM

Well, gol danged, Chongz...

Reminds me of that "Taxi" episode where Jim Ignatowski has this scene where there is a piano in the room and he sits down at it and plays a great piece on it and then gets that twisted look on his face and says, "Gee, I didn't know I could play the piano?"...

Well, I guess that was Chongz Jim Ignatowski moment...

BTW, Band of America is offering to forgive up to $150,000 of debt on lots of mortgages but people are reluctant to take them up on the offer because they don't trust the banks anymore... That's purdy bad when the banks are offering free money and folks won't take it because they think they are going to be tricked again...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 02:26 PM

Good heavens! Chongo sounds like GfS- OK- which one of you is fictional?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 03:04 PM

Both!!! LOL...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 03:27 PM

well seeing how my pocket watch party has to support someone, what is your views on

womenz

rock and roll

and Elvis

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 03:35 PM

I love womenz, rock 'n roll and ol' Elvis (50s)...

Oh, and I own a pocket watch... Doesn't run but I own it...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: fat B****rd
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 03:38 PM

Will Bogarting the joint be punishable by death?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 06:18 PM

well send it to me and I will have it fixed for you ... ya gotta look the part if ya wanna be pres ...

now what about Jello, what can you do to make it illegal

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 07:08 PM

Only if you don't "pass it over to me", fatz...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Skivee
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:09 PM

hey, Bobertz ol' buddy. I just heard you was gonna be runnin' fer office again , and I am throwin' my hat into the ring ta be yer veep. I think that iffn you just look at all the hard work I done on the last campain, you'll know I'm yer guy.
Also, I'm good at funerals.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:41 PM

Danged, Skivz... Of course, I'd be honored to have you on the ticket... Just don't hire Chongz for nuthin'... He was bad news last time and now has more experience in bad news...

Welcome aboard...

BTW, ya' got any weed???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 09:39 PM

As the Secretary of Commerce in Bobert's Shadow Cabinet, May I ask, do you mean Jello specifically or all artificially flavored corn syrup sweetened dessert mixes made form boiled animal bones?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 09:48 PM

Well, personally I ain't gonna be a Jello Prez but that;s because Jello is mad from pig feet and I don't eat no pig no matter how it is served...

But if folks wanta cook 'um up a pit full of Jello and waller in the crap then have at it... I mean, I ain't no "Jello Nazi"... I hate hogs, too... They are mean and would take yer ass out in a heart beat... Nasty critters... Eat 'um if or wrestle in their parts, I don't care...

It's called freedom... You know, the real stuff... Not the TeaPub brand of it which means they are free to tell you that you are wrong and proclaim that they are right...

BTW, Jack... Welcome aboard...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 09:55 PM

I gotta warn you Bobert, I'm a panderer. If Olddude wants it banned. We'll get er done!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 10:06 PM

Not to worry, Jack...

I'm going to create a Department of Pocket Watches and Ol'ster gonna be the Secretary... That will keep him busy... You'll have a free reign and not have to worry about him lookin' over yer shoulder... We're looking at openin' a Smithsonian Pocket Watch museum...

Wonder if there are any that run on cannibus???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 10:58 PM

Ya got sundials, hourglasses, and water clocks, Bobertz...but no one has yet designed a clock that runs on cannabis.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 11:12 PM

Ol'ster is workin' on it, Chongz... He's gonna be my Secretary of Cannibus Fueled Pocket Watches....

Too bad that you were such a bad Chongz last time 'er I ight have given you a 2nd chance but I don't think the voters are gonna like me establishing a Department of Monkey Poo... Know what I mean??? You'd think that by now you'd be at least at dog's level but you ain't...

LH poo on the floor??? I don't think so... Maybe you need to have a little talk with him... No, make that a long talk with him...

Until you get a grip on yer bathroom (or lack there of) habits, yer just another one trick monkey... I don't care if you can load and shoot up a joint with an AK47... Big deal... At the end of the day there's still monkey poo in the corner of the living room...

Get a friggin' grip, man!!!

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 11:32 PM

I will take the job, and I figure if ya smoke enough weed, yer watch is always on time ... that way ya don't have to fix em either ..

Heck I have even seen em run backwards when ya get into the real good stuff ...

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: JennieG
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 03:49 AM

Bobert, if you win will there be jelly wrestling? in green jello?

Almost makes me wish I was Amurcan just so's I could vote.....

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Sawzaw
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 07:55 AM

Condi for veep!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 10:15 AM

Condi is a hottie, that much is fir sure so...

... I doubt if it would work out... I'd spend too much time checkin' her out (if ya' know what I mean, heh, heh...) and not enough time prez-dentin'...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 11:32 AM

Condi is more likely to sign on with Bobert than Romney.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 12:17 PM

Well, she has endorsed Romney, Jack... I saw her on CBS morning show and she sho nuff did...

But if I'm elected and Condi wants to come on over and give me a little piano lesson then I think we could work it out...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 01:16 PM

If yer talkin' about Condoleeza Rice...that is one scary woman. I would never turn my back on her, lemme tell ya. Not fer a second.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 03:02 PM

I don't see her running for Vice Pres is all.

I just don't see the rompster putting a 57 year old single woman who once slipped and called W "my husband" on the ticket.

But stranger things have happened (Sarah Palin)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 4 Prez... Stoners Party...
From: GUEST,999
Date: 13 Jul 12 - 03:09 PM

I think the USA is ready for Ann Coulter to be vice president. She makes about as much sense as what-will-you-give-me-say-the-bells-of Romney.

Join the voters' revolution. Support off-shore banking and off-shore manufacturing. Vote Romney/Coulter.