Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.

Subject: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 06:56 AM

Since the Mayan calendar finishing did not signify the end of the world (to Gods great relief), the Blitherscrum Folk Festival needs planning for this year. Proposals for nominees to the board are acceptable at this time and it will of course be chaired this year by the mayor from Upper Ramsbottom. Proposals can be done online this year as well as by phone... go to http://www.blitherscrumfolkfestivalplanningcommittee2013.com/proposalsfornomineestotheboardoforganisers.
Any ideas of how to improve on last year will of course be welcome again.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 07:58 AM

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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 08:33 AM

I'd like to suggest inviting the Upper Lower Hallamswick Carol Singers this year. I know it'll be out of season and they'll charge double, but you'll get it all back via the beer tent anyway; Especially if you lay on a few casks of that Yorkshire Tractor Diesel Oil. Eeh, bah gum. It's a reet good brew is that. The 18.4% strength, that is, not the 9.2%.

Come to think of it, they could do a few workshops. EG.,

How To Stand Upright After 18 Pints.

How To Hold Your Pint In One Hand And Your Songbook Between Your Teeth, Whilst Using Your Other Hand To Turn The Pages.

How To Cram Huge Numbers Of Carol Singers Into Impossibly Small Spaces.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 11:17 AM

I suggest Tossing the Caper replace the Caber Toss. The drunken sots last year nearly brought down the beer tent with their off course tosses.

Just a thought.

I'll be there no matter what bit I will arrive in an RV with my own privy. Simply will not deal with the hijinks encouraged by black out windows and blown lights in the Ladies.
SINS

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 11:25 AM

I nominate Mike Harding for 'committeeee.

Seconded anyone?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 01:09 PM

Mia Karding is the Mayor of Upper Ramsbottom who is chairing the Committee.
I am going to propose that we get certain acts back again as they were so popular:- Vinegar Butt,   Jezlo and the Halfpennies, Baron Ardwrigley and ID Talbot.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 03:57 PM

I will be sponsoring one of the new competitions at Blitherscrum this year:-

The Totally Silent Shanty Group competition

Now, I know that this will be a hugely popular event and there will be more entries than there will be time for during the festival so the judges that I have appointed will be listening to recordings of groups on demo CDs that are sent in and from them, the judges will draw up a short list that will be invited to compete at the festival itself.

RULES FOR ENTRY
* Only Shanty groups of less than 5000 may enter.
* Each Demo must include at least 50 totally silent shanties
* One member of each group must be appointed to introduce and give background information on each shanty. Like the shanties themselves, these intros must be totally silent.
* The judges decision (which will be given in a silent announcement) is final
* The closing date for entries is 1st January 2013 on the Mayan calendar

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 07:02 PM

I have retired since the last Blitherscrum and may therefore have more time for volunteering, stewardeering or committeeeering.
To help get things going, I'd like to nominate our good friend Matt Ersarising as Chair of the committee.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 09:20 PM

Will there be a 2-hour workshop on banjo tuning?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 12:24 AM

Genie, I thought the workshop on banjo tuning was two days.....not just two hours?

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 08:32 AM

What are you going to call the Bodhran workshop?

Anything you want, they can't hear you!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 09:32 AM

Will there be silent Morris Dancing at the same time as the silent shanties? Belfry, are we?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: MoorleyMan
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 11:31 AM

One extra and very important rule: all silent shanties must last exactly four minutes and thirty-three seconds...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: MoorleyMan
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 11:33 AM

Sorry if that last post sounded a bit cagey..
I would expect the result to be carried by a silent majority!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,GY morris man
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 11:47 AM

Is there going to be any clog dancing on cobbles this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 01:03 PM

Can my band play for the Mayan End of the World Ceilidh?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 02:03 PM

Is it on again? Oh, No!....The Mayans aren't going to be pleased. That end-of-the-world malarkey was a cunning ploy to try and get Blitherscrum called off.
JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 03:37 PM

Wild horses wouldn't stop Blitherscrum Festival... although a herd of cows invaded the beer tent two years ago and caused mayhem. Since then there has been a sign at the entrance to the site which reads "No Cows Allowed".... two performers refused to bring their wives in last year in honor of the sign!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 03:59 PM

Two workshops have caught my attention: 101 Things To Do with a Bodhran. (I might attend this one. Off the top of my head, I can think of three: two are unprintable on a forum such as this - and I suspect one of those is physically impossible, and the third is to play the thing properly - a feat seldom attempted). Also: 50 Ways to Silence a Shantyman. (The success of this workshop last year led to the Silent Shanty Group competition detailed above).

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 05:20 PM

Blimey that was quick....the bodhran workshop is already sold out. In view of this runaway success, the are organising similar ones for banjo, melodeon, bagpipes and shaky egg. Book now to avoid....er...that's all it says.
JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:06 AM

The Bodhran frisbee competition and the banjo tennis tournament will be taking place this year in spite of objections from some members of the committee who think it only encourages more of these 'implements' to the festival site!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 05:56 AM

Vic Smith. "Can my band play for the Mayan End of the World Ceilidh?"

No. Not unless you're the loudest rock band in the universe.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:47 AM

This year's sponsors include:

The Great Indoors, suppliers of luxury caravans for hire

Stay Indoors, the cumfy seat specialists, providing free inflatable cushions for the really hard chairs in the marquee

Go Indoors, the cumfy Portaloo experts


Stools-u-Like, prevents that bunged up feeling

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 01:09 PM

On the "Most Improved Folk Festival" thread.. I was a bit incensed when someone had to ask why Blitherscrum should feature!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 02:10 PM

Maybe because the food caravans are still cooking in used banjos and bodrhans?

Is the Shaky Eggs for Beginners workshop still on?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 03:00 PM

Fred McCormick wrote:-
"Vic Smith. "Can my band play for the Mayan End of the World Ceilidh?"

No. Not unless you're the loudest rock band in the universe.

Vic Smith A.K.A. Hotblack Desiato.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 01:06 PM

The new indoor sleeping facility is now up and running or at least the water is... there is a leak in the shower room and the whole area is flooded. We are confident this can be fixed by Festival time. With regard to single ladies accommodations mentioned at committee... there is no segregation this year so you sleep where your sleeping bag is..... To the men... you have surely heard the expression 'Let sleeping bags lie".....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 01:54 PM

Mixed sex eh? You wouldn't chuckle at some of the sights to be witnessed in that place.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 04:58 PM

Who said Blitherscrum is a most improved festival? It has been rubbish ever since it went electric in 1967.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 06:46 PM

In view of the moist and slithery conditions which seem to prevail at this festival, I hope there will be an adequate supply of rubber thingies. JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 06:50 PM

I do apologize. That should have read "dinghies'. You realised that, of course. JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: selby
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 07:27 PM

Are there directions on google?
will there be lager phone workshops?
can I look forward to a Kazoo session?
Keith

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 03:43 AM

Two men were arrested last year for having 'sessions' with their kazoos so if you do please be careful to do it in private!   Directions are easy:- Right at the White Horse, right again at The Rose and Crown, right again at The Red Lion, left at the Black Horse, right at the Dog and Partridge, right again at the Unicorn, left at the Dog and Duck, left again at the Green Dragon and the site is about a mile further up that road. P{lease bear in mind that stopping to ask directions at each pub is problematic:- A few Festival attenders never made it last year, having been arrested for drunk driving just before getting to the site.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 06:15 AM

Can I yet again make a heartfelt plea for the cancellation of the ducking stool and scold's bridle event this year. It is demeaning and it is insulting to women.

By the same token can we please abandon the witch trials which have been the cause of so much trouble in past years. Let's face it. Anyone who has the misfortune to be swum in the river Blither is more likely to come out with a bad case of typhus than a tarnished reputation.

Mind you, I do agree that the stocks and pillory seats should be retained. Just the place to lock up the previous nights' drunks and ticket dodgers. Come to think of it, why not combine that event with the bodhran throwing competition?

On second thoughts, scrub that suggestion. The aim of some of those bodhran throwers is so bad they'd hit everyone in the festival except the ones in the stocks.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 06:01 PM

You may have heard that last year, Blitherscrum Folk Club had to close down due to lack of attendance.... Well not so much lack of attendance as lack of performers at the singaround.... well not so much lack of performers as lack of reasonably good performers. Complaints came from nearby residences, to the Council, that the noises coming from the club were upsetting the residents... inasmuch as they sounded like animals being killed, cats being strangled, pigs being 'molested' and the poor old sheep suffering the advances of man..... In actual fact the complaint came from Eddy Baker who wanted to join the club but was refused on the grounds that he was always spreading dirt locally and this had upset the Folkies at one of the festivals. He complained to the Council... his complaint was upheld.. so the Club closed... sad eh??
The Council have stated that the Blitherscrum Festival will never be closed down as it brings so much revenue to the village and should they close it they would get no more 'backhanders' from local businesses.
I am really looking forward to this years Festival....are you??

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Dave Earl
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 01:28 AM

I've asked Matron if I can go.

She says that if I behave myself She will allow me out for the duration of the festival.

Er probably not going to be there then

Dave (The Inmate)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 02:31 PM

The committee have informed me that Willam McTell... (the Folk singer who shoots apples off his sons head with bow and arrow on The Streets of London) will be performing for us... at Blitherscrum again this year.   It has been decided that see through tents,,, such as that used by that gorgeous blonde last year are to be banned this year as the noise from some of the men watching her get ready for bed kept their wives awake.
Still open to suggestions for a few more performers and anything we can do to make it a happier festival... It has become better each year so far, let's keep it up!.. if you pardon the expression!
As an aside.. The Family Planning Committee are meeting on our Festival site whilst the Festival is on but should not interfere with our performances as they will be using the back entrance!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 04:39 PM

Ahhh ehhh. That see through tent was worth the season ticket price alone. Mind you,it did leave the festival committee with a problem about what to do with all the pillars of salt which were left standing around on the Monday morning.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Jack Campin
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 07:57 PM

The autoharp workshop with Norman Schwartzkopf has been cancelled.

In its place, the Americana theme will be represented by the Petraeus Family Band. Holly Petraeus's rendering of "Stand By Your Man" will be worth looking forward to.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 02:38 PM

Farmer Jones..a man outstanding in his field, will be out standing in his field waiting for the outdoor campers to arrive on Friday 33rd from 11am until 6pm. If you need eggs or milk you can order them from him after he has gone. Mrs Jones will be playing the melodeon again this year and hopefully no surprises like the chick that jumped out of it last year. Farmer Jones' pig (new since last year) tends to smell very badly...but is having an operation on his nose to remedy that.
The blue and white box that looks like a telephone box is not the 'Tardis' of Dr Who, so to save any mistakes, it has a sign saying 'Turdis' on the outside.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 08:12 AM

It didn't go down well with everyone but some years ago, Blitherscrum staged a midnight recital by the massed Pipes and Drums of the Camel Corps of the 14th Inverury and Cillgarraiochmacochory Highlanders and Lowlanders Knobbly Kneesers Regiment.

Personally, I never understood what the problem was, or why they've never been invited back. The band was perfectly audible several miles away for anyone who wanted to listen. What's more that alcove they played in, right between the tents and the rows of houses on the field perimeter, made the perfect natural amphitheatre. In fact it couldn't have been better.

Come on lads. Say ballocks to begrudgers and get them back this year.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,owl glass
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 08:42 AM

Hate to bee a party pooper but......
Having a sign on the beer tent saying "No cows allowed" won't stop the illiterate ones from trying to get in.
Having a banjo tuning wotkshop is a complete waste of time - no banjo owner would turn up!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Sailor Ron
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 08:59 AM

Will there be a melodeon burning workshop again this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 09:31 AM

Owl Glass wrote:-
Having a banjo tuning wotkshop is a complete waste of time - no banjo owner would turn up!
I would dispute this. The last banjo workshop at Blitherscrum that I attended, there were some participants with almost perfect pitch. In fact, one of them managed to pitch six banjos into a skip from 50 yards.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 01:26 PM

Last time I went, I left my banjo in the front of the van for a few minutes, and when I got back, somebody had broken in and left two more. Could have been worse.... there were a lot of banjos about.
Re. the bodhran-throwing; in view of the cancellation of the dwarf-throwing (on PC grounds), how about a bodhran player-throwing event? I don't think the PC brigade would have much to say about that.
JK
PS How many bodhran players does it take to paper a room? ...Depends how thinly you slice them. Shaboom.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jan 13 - 02:02 PM

Last year I took two of my England shirts to the Festival in spite of how bad we did in the world cup. Of course I washed them both and hung them on the communal clothes line to dry... Imagine my utter disappointment when I went to collect them and found that somebody had stolen.......... the clothes pegs!!! leaaving my shirts on the ground!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Muppett
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 11:19 AM

Can we have a Karofolkie session?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 03:39 PM

Well there is something similar which we call a 'stingaround'.. It's like a sing around but everyone criticises your performance after.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 11 Jan 13 - 11:49 AM

Well that's relief! For a minute I thought you were going to say everyone has to sing Fields of Gold.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2013.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 May 13 - 04:27 AM

Now confirmed that Vinegar Butt,   Jezlo and the Halfpennies, Baron Ardwrigley and I.D. Talbot will be performing this year. Also confirmed that the Family Planning Committee will be sharing the field but to simplify things they have made the decision to use the back entrance. The herd of cows which invaded the beer tent last year have prompted the erection of a sign on the gate saying "NO COWS ALLOWED"... this does not preclude some of the wives from entering. See you all there then!